The girlfriend angle

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Old Jan 4th 2008, 3:25 am
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Oh no, sorry, I meant as part of this trip. If they say 'what are you here for?' should I just say 'visiting my girlfriend', and if they ask why it's so long would it be ok to mention the friend's wedding as something I'm there for, or definitely not? I'm absolutely not planning to exceed the 3-month waiver period, if I didn't make that clear - I'm hoping to get there sometime in February.
Oh, my bad. I didn't realize you were coming in Feb. I guess the answer to that would be whether you end up saying you have a girlfriend or not....I don't think there are any hard/fast rules about specific things you should mention or not. You'll just have to play it be ear and see where their questioning leads.

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Old Jan 4th 2008, 2:30 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Book a ticket for 2 weeks and if you get in re book for your 85 days.

Perhaps I know too many people living here on the normal $10 an hour wage, no benefits around here. They can get by assuming nothing goes wrong, medical, sickness and they are stuffed.
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Old Jan 4th 2008, 2:49 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by SuzanneMaria
I don't see that there should be any problem as long as you don't push the States' three-month tourist limit. I'm American and my husband is English, and basically all the INS is concerned about is terrorists these days. One of my brothers dated a (gold-digging) German woman who would leave just before the three mandatory months were over, and then come back a few weeks later. The INS pulled her into "the room" many times over that, thinking she might be smuggling drugs. (Personally, I was always amused at her discomfort, knowing that she was using my brother for his money.)
If you read through many of the stories on this forum, I think you will see that is not entirely accurate.

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Old Jan 4th 2008, 10:20 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by Noorah101
Oh, my bad. I didn't realize you were coming in Feb. I guess the answer to that would be whether you end up saying you have a girlfriend or not....I don't think there are any hard/fast rules about specific things you should mention or not. You'll just have to play it be ear and see where their questioning leads.

Rene
Yeah, that's the main thing I was wondering. To me it doesn't seem like a bad thing - I'm visiting my girlfriend, so what? - but I know that immigrations are very sensitive about certain things, and even casually using certain words will make them very suspicious. If it comes down to it I'm not going to lie, but I don't want to volunteer more information than I should, if you get me.
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Old Jan 4th 2008, 10:35 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Yeah, that's the main thing I was wondering. To me it doesn't seem like a bad thing - I'm visiting my girlfriend, so what? - but I know that immigrations are very sensitive about certain things, and even casually using certain words will make them very suspicious. If it comes down to it I'm not going to lie, but I don't want to volunteer more information than I should, if you get me.
That's the way to do it!
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 12:19 am
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Yeah, that's the main thing I was wondering. To me it doesn't seem like a bad thing - I'm visiting my girlfriend, so what? - but I know that immigrations are very sensitive about certain things, and even casually using certain words will make them very suspicious. If it comes down to it I'm not going to lie, but I don't want to volunteer more information than I should, if you get me.
The first time my now-husband came to the US to visit me, I told him something very smart I read here (thank you again, Folinskyinla):

Answer the question you are asked honestly, but JUST the question you are asked.
If you are asked "Do you know what time it is?" there are only two possible answers--yes, or no.
IE: Not, "Yes, it's 10:15 and sunny outside" etc

Perhaps you should think about what the normal first questions you are asked upon arriving in the US. They are not usually "Who are you here to see?"

To be fair, my husband did blab that he was here to meet friends. Since he had already said that he had never been to the US, the officer wanted to know where he met these friends. "On holidays in Greece" worked, but it was still breaking MrF's rule.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 5:01 am
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by Elvira
Have you ever lived abroad?

You do not have a clue what you are talking about.
And I thought you were name calling over the "world's only superpower" comment....
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 6:28 am
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
About three and a half years ago I (stupidly) applied for a B-2 visa in the UK, hoping to spend about 5 months in the US staying with some friends and touring around a bit. I was roundly rejected - basically they said 'why isn't 3 months enough?' and assumed I was trying to immigrate - and now I have to state that I was denied a visa every time I enter the US. I'd never been there before the visa incident, and I've travelled there twice since (in 2006 and 2007).

Anyway, I got to know a girl on my first trip and we hit it off, and last year I stayed with her for about 5 weeks and things have really progressed to serious. Recently she's had a lot of bad things happen, personal and family issues one after the other, it's really affecting her and she needs me to go over and stay with her for a couple of months.

Here's the question: when I fly out there, if they grill me again at the point of entry should I explain all this to them? I'm really worried about 'girlfriend' setting off alarm bells in their heads, especially with the long duration of the stay. And would just under 3 months be pushing it? I fully intend to return to the UK after this, my life and family and job are here and anything else is definitely further down the line. Could someone advise me on this? Hopefully I'm being paranoid, but last time the immigrations officer sent me to the 'special room' where another officer questioned me about the B-2 (one of the things that seemed to make him feel better was the fact I'd been there once before, and obviously gone back home). I don't even want to think how it would affect her if I were turned away at the last moment.
I would definitely avoid saying "girlfriend". I mentioned "boyfriend" and got sent back to a waiting room to be questioned, I then had four hours to gather my brain cells and think of a different story that didn't have "boyfriend" in it.(A true story of course )
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 9:51 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by bethel
I would definitely avoid saying "girlfriend". I mentioned "boyfriend" and got sent back to a waiting room to be questioned, I then had four hours to gather my brain cells and think of a different story that didn't have "boyfriend" in it.(A true story of course )
Oh man, this is what I didn't want to hear Can you remember how the conversation went, and at what point things seemed to go wrong? Was it as soon as you said 'boyfriend'? And did they ask you anything else about it?

And meauxna, honestly I think that every time I've been to the US, the questions have been along the lines of why have you come to the US, where are you staying, who are you staying with, how did you meet them... it feels like at some point I'm going to have to mention my girlfriend, especially given the length of time I need to be there.

I don't know, is it accurate to say that US immigrations don't really want people entering the country, and you have to basically convince them to let you in? That's how it feels at the moment, like it's a gamble. Do certain airports tend to be less, uh, welcoming than others? The first time I travelled to the US I landed at Newark Liberty, and there was no problem (first time after the visa denial too), but the next time I entered through Canada and that's when they put me in the waiting room for questioning. Sorry if these questions are completely subjective.

Oh, and is the 'book a return for two weeks later, then reschedule once you're in' idea a bad one? What kind of fees can you expect?
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 9:53 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Oh man, this is what I didn't want to hear Can you remember how the conversation went, and at what point things seemed to go wrong? Was it as soon as you said 'boyfriend'? And did they ask you anything else about it?

And meauxna, honestly I think that every time I've been to the US, the questions have been along the lines of why have you come to the US, where are you staying, who are you staying with, how did you meet them... it feels like at some point I'm going to have to mention my girlfriend, especially given the length of time I need to be there.

I don't know, is it accurate to say that US immigrations don't really want people entering the country, and you have to basically convince them to let you in? That's how it feels at the moment, like it's a gamble. Do certain airports tend to be less, uh, welcoming than others? The first time I travelled to the US I landed at Newark Liberty, and there was no problem (first time after the visa denial too), but the next time I entered through Canada and that's when they put me in the waiting room for questioning. Sorry if these questions are completely subjective.

Oh, and is the 'book a return for two weeks later, then reschedule once you're in' idea a bad one? What kind of fees can you expect?
If you fly through Dublin or Shannon, you will clear immigration there, and thus be "safe" on the over the ocean part. Plus, if you were turned down, you can just walk away (as opposed to being detained overnight at a stateside POE).

The basic presumption is that you are an intending illegal immigrant, and you must show them evidence to the contrary, if asked - at least that's what I'm told.

If they directly ask you - who is this person to you? I supposed you'd have to say. Be prepared to show them evidence that you intend to go home.
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 10:14 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Oh man, this is what I didn't want to hear Can you remember how the conversation went, and at what point things seemed to go wrong? Was it as soon as you said 'boyfriend'? And did they ask you anything else about it?

And meauxna, honestly I think that every time I've been to the US, the questions have been along the lines of why have you come to the US, where are you staying, who are you staying with, how did you meet them... it feels like at some point I'm going to have to mention my girlfriend, especially given the length of time I need to be there.

I don't know, is it accurate to say that US immigrations don't really want people entering the country, and you have to basically convince them to let you in? That's how it feels at the moment, like it's a gamble. Do certain airports tend to be less, uh, welcoming than others? The first time I travelled to the US I landed at Newark Liberty, and there was no problem (first time after the visa denial too), but the next time I entered through Canada and that's when they put me in the waiting room for questioning. Sorry if these questions are completely subjective.

Oh, and is the 'book a return for two weeks later, then reschedule once you're in' idea a bad one? What kind of fees can you expect?
This was 12 years ago, I had a return ticket for 6 months which was a red flag I guess, I was brain dead from the long flight. I had no intention of trying to stay here so I felt innocent.This is kind of how the conversation went.... the immigration office had a chummy smile on his face, he leaned across the counter in a relaxed fashion and said, conversationally, "so, er, any plans to, you know, work or anything, while you're over here?" He smiled encouragingly. I smiled back and said " Oh no, of course not". Then he asked me what my address would be while in the States, I gave my boyfriends address, he asked who it was, I said that it was my boyfriend. He said " oh, thats nice, are you planning on getting married?" I said " Oh no, of course not" he said "great, well, go ahead and take a seat over there. I walked over to the waiting area and thought "I think that went well" until the person sitting next to me asked me what I'd been kept back for! I looked around as if waking from a nap " I've been kept back?!"
By the next time he called me I was fully awake and had my SERVAS documentation ready (SERVAS being an organisation that promotes peace through intercultural communication, I was a member so that I could have an interesting way to travel and meet people while I was here)
I skipped up to the counter, the guy said " so why are you here" I said " actually, I'm here as a member of a peace organisation" he asked to see documentation and let me through right away.
They do like to see that you have plenty of money to support yourself while you're here, and a return ticket, and a job in Britain to go back to. Maybe even a girlfriend in britain would be a good thing to have!
(the bloke who was sitting next to me earlier got sent back I'm pretty sure )
Of course, that was a long time ago, it seems like things are a little more difficult now
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 10:35 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by bethel
This was 12 years ago, I had a return ticket for 6 months which was a red flag I guess, I was brain dead from the long flight. I had no intention of trying to stay here so I felt innocent.This is kind of how the conversation went.... the immigration office had a chummy smile on his face, he leaned across the counter in a relaxed fashion and said, conversationally, "so, er, any plans to, you know, work or anything, while you're over here?" He smiled encouragingly. I smiled back and said " Oh no, of course not". Then he asked me what my address would be while in the States, I gave my boyfriends address, he asked who it was, I said that it was my boyfriend. He said " oh, thats nice, are you planning on getting married?" I said " Oh no, of course not" he said "great, well, go ahead and take a seat over there. I walked over to the waiting area and thought "I think that went well" until the person sitting next to me asked me what I'd been kept back for! I looked around as if waking from a nap " I've been kept back?!"
By the next time he called me I was fully awake and had my SERVAS documentation ready (SERVAS being an organisation that promotes peace through intercultural communication, I was a member so that I could have an interesting way to travel and meet people while I was here)
I skipped up to the counter, the guy said " so why are you here" I said " actually, I'm here as a member of a peace organisation" he asked to see documentation and let me through right away.
They do like to see that you have plenty of money to support yourself while you're here, and a return ticket, and a job in Britain to go back to. Maybe even a girlfriend in britain would be a good thing to have!
(the bloke who was sitting next to me earlier got sent back I'm pretty sure )
Of course, that was a long time ago, it seems like things are a little more difficult now
Were you allowed to stay for 6 months on the waiver back then? I'm going to do what I can to show I intend to return, I hope it helps. Thanks for the info

Originally Posted by Tracym
If you fly through Dublin or Shannon, you will clear immigration there, and thus be "safe" on the over the ocean part. Plus, if you were turned down, you can just walk away (as opposed to being detained overnight at a stateside POE).

The basic presumption is that you are an intending illegal immigrant, and you must show them evidence to the contrary, if asked - at least that's what I'm told.

If they directly ask you - who is this person to you? I supposed you'd have to say. Be prepared to show them evidence that you intend to go home.
Thanks, I just need to decide what to do about the length of the stay. There are a couple of things she wants me to be there for, within about a 2-month period. I just hope they'd understand that we don't get to see each other often, I managed to get the time off work and there are things she needs me to be there for, but that my life is still in the UK with work and family commitments, and that marriage or overstaying just isn't an option right now. It sounds so simple...

Hey, what actually happens if you're turned away? Do they make you buy a very expensive ticket back?
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Old Jan 5th 2008, 10:44 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Were you allowed to stay for 6 months on the waiver back then? I'm going to do what I can to show I intend to return, I hope it helps. Thanks for the info



Thanks, I just need to decide what to do about the length of the stay. There are a couple of things she wants me to be there for, within about a 2-month period. I just hope they'd understand that we don't get to see each other often, I managed to get the time off work and there are things she needs me to be there for, but that my life is still in the UK with work and family commitments, and that marriage or overstaying just isn't an option right now. It sounds so simple...

Hey, what actually happens if you're turned away? Do they make you buy a very expensive ticket back?
I believe the airline has to transport you back. The problem is... there generally isn't a flight until the next morning. So you are detained... basically jail. Hence why I recommend flying through Dublin or Shannon - if you're turned back you can just walk away - not sure about paying for a plane flight from there, but Dublin to UK would be cheap I'd hope.

My Keith visited me multiple times for almost the 90 days. They got crabby with him once in New York (although he hadn't been back in the UK for very long). Basically they just growled at him but let him through. He was in vet school though, and they quite believed he'd return to that.

You probably will be fine, you'd just have to have enough evidence that this is just a vacation. Obviously, no guarantees though...
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Old Jan 6th 2008, 10:49 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by telemetry
Oh no, sorry, I meant as part of this trip. If they say 'what are you here for?' should I just say 'visiting my girlfriend', and if they ask why it's so long would it be ok to mention the friend's wedding as something I'm there for, or definitely not? I'm absolutely not planning to exceed the 3-month waiver period, if I didn't make that clear - I'm hoping to get there sometime in February.
I went to the US several times to visit my then girlfriend, and each time I said either "pleasure" or "visiting friends" when asked for the purpose of my visit. Not once did they ask me to be more specific. I can't recall being asked how long I was staying either.
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Old Jan 7th 2008, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: The girlfriend angle

Originally Posted by Marocco
I went to the US several times to visit my then girlfriend, and each time I said either "pleasure" or "visiting friends" when asked for the purpose of my visit. Not once did they ask me to be more specific. I can't recall being asked how long I was staying either.
Yeah, it's just that the last time I travelled there, which was for about 5 or 6 weeks, they did get into questioning me about these things, so I want to be prepared if the questions come up (and not give responses that complicate things more).

I guess all I can do is hope everything's fine, bring whatever evidence I can and hope for the best. Thanks for the help and advice guys, and if anyone has any other useful information please fill me in!
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