Cross-border dating
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
Cross-border dating
Hi all you helpful immigration folk,
I'm a UK citizen (almost Canadian too), PR of Canada, and I reside in Vancouver, BC. Recently I have been delving into the world of online dating and have been in contact with a girl who lives in Seattle. We've exchanged a lot of messages and Skyped each other a few times, and now we both really want to meet each other in person.
I'm considering going down to Seattle to meet her sometime soon. I would be using the VWP, and staying at most 2 days. I'm wondering; is there anything in the law which makes this plan questionable? What about if this were to turn into a relationship, and we would have to make frequent trips across the border to visit each other? Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just want to make sure I'm not inadvertently doing anything wrong.
As I said, I reside in Vancouver and don't plan on changing that any time soon - I both work and study here.
Also, what would be the best way to represent myself at the border? Come right out and say I'm meeting someone from an online dating website? Say I'm visiting a friend? Say I'm just visiting Seattle, and shopping (which are both, of course, also true)? It is not my intention to hide anything, as I would provide additional information if asked.
An alternative would be for me to rent a car and use the NEXUS lane, and would likely avoid any potential extra scrutiny at the border, although I'd rather avoid this as it's quite expensive.
Thanks very much in advance, you guys provide really excellent advice!
I'm a UK citizen (almost Canadian too), PR of Canada, and I reside in Vancouver, BC. Recently I have been delving into the world of online dating and have been in contact with a girl who lives in Seattle. We've exchanged a lot of messages and Skyped each other a few times, and now we both really want to meet each other in person.
I'm considering going down to Seattle to meet her sometime soon. I would be using the VWP, and staying at most 2 days. I'm wondering; is there anything in the law which makes this plan questionable? What about if this were to turn into a relationship, and we would have to make frequent trips across the border to visit each other? Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just want to make sure I'm not inadvertently doing anything wrong.
As I said, I reside in Vancouver and don't plan on changing that any time soon - I both work and study here.
Also, what would be the best way to represent myself at the border? Come right out and say I'm meeting someone from an online dating website? Say I'm visiting a friend? Say I'm just visiting Seattle, and shopping (which are both, of course, also true)? It is not my intention to hide anything, as I would provide additional information if asked.
An alternative would be for me to rent a car and use the NEXUS lane, and would likely avoid any potential extra scrutiny at the border, although I'd rather avoid this as it's quite expensive.
Thanks very much in advance, you guys provide really excellent advice!
#2
Re: Cross-border dating
You are allowed to visit the USA to see friends and go shopping (I.e. tourism). You aren't doing anything wrong. At the POE, answer only the question asked, without volunteering more info unless asked specifically.
If the relationship progresses, you can still visit. Don't do back to back trips.
Rene
If the relationship progresses, you can still visit. Don't do back to back trips.
Rene
#3
Re: Cross-border dating
Everything Noorah said above.
You're only planning to do what the then-future Mrs P and I did 16 years ago, except we were "cross pond", not cross border. I did get a curious grilling by the CBP officer the first time I arrived in the US, though thankfully avoided a "trip to secondary". He also lied to me, telling me I "wasn't allowed to get married on the VWP", though (i) we had no intention of getting married that first time we met, and (ii) later we did marry when I was on a VWP visit without any issue.
FWIW. I only ever said I was "visiting a friend", never my girlfriend or fiancée. You are obligated to tell the truth to a CBP officer, but that doesn't mean you have to spill your guts and tell them everything. Just provide a truthful answer to each question, and make it a brief, clear answer, not one that invites more questions.
You're only planning to do what the then-future Mrs P and I did 16 years ago, except we were "cross pond", not cross border. I did get a curious grilling by the CBP officer the first time I arrived in the US, though thankfully avoided a "trip to secondary". He also lied to me, telling me I "wasn't allowed to get married on the VWP", though (i) we had no intention of getting married that first time we met, and (ii) later we did marry when I was on a VWP visit without any issue.
FWIW. I only ever said I was "visiting a friend", never my girlfriend or fiancée. You are obligated to tell the truth to a CBP officer, but that doesn't mean you have to spill your guts and tell them everything. Just provide a truthful answer to each question, and make it a brief, clear answer, not one that invites more questions.
Last edited by Pulaski; Sep 23rd 2014 at 6:06 pm.
#4
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
Re: Cross-border dating
Thank you Rene. And thanks for replying within 4 minutes, that was impressive.
I suppose I was just concerned the admission 'I'm going to see my girlfriend' would raise immediate red flags, but I suppose if that would not preclude me from being a genuine short-term visitor. Anyway, I worry too much, especially about things involving customs agents. Thanks again.
I suppose I was just concerned the admission 'I'm going to see my girlfriend' would raise immediate red flags, but I suppose if that would not preclude me from being a genuine short-term visitor. Anyway, I worry too much, especially about things involving customs agents. Thanks again.
#5
Re: Cross-border dating
"Customs agents" will be interested in your luggage and anything you are carrying with you into the country. It is immigration officers who will be interested in the admissibility of you as an individual.
#6
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
Re: Cross-border dating
Just a small update - proving that I do indeed overthink these things, yesterday I was waved through at the border after a disinterested 'where are you going?'. No problems!
#7
Re: Cross-border dating
Thank you. We keep telling people that, but some of them just won't believe us, that 99.999% of people clear immigration with no problem whatsoever, and those that do have a problem typically have waaaay more complicated issues than the people who come to BE looking for advice.
#8
Re: Cross-border dating
I spent 2 years cross pond dating on VWP and always said "visiting fiancee" and explaining that as soon as divorce was through in UK i would apply for K1. Got pulled for "secondary" on one trip to US but that was at Boston where they are always officious. Otherwise no problems and that was about 13 cross pond visits.
Northern efficiency, Southern hospitality. Soooo true.
Northern efficiency, Southern hospitality. Soooo true.
#9
#10
Re: Cross-border dating
I've heard of people doing it under the Peace Arch at night, not sure if that's true or whether when people are sitting in line they fantasize about it.
I seem to remember reading an article where two people were caught at it in that library that straddles the border, I think it's in Stanstead.
I seem to remember reading an article where two people were caught at it in that library that straddles the border, I think it's in Stanstead.
#11
Re: Cross-border dating
I was going do to dating as I am a british citizen and on a non immigrant visa but after watching CATFISH i thought it would be better to do another way to get an EAD thou student.
#12
Re: Cross-border dating
Rene