Cross-border dating

Old Sep 23rd 2014, 5:47 pm
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
tastyh will become famous soon enoughtastyh will become famous soon enough
Default Cross-border dating

Hi all you helpful immigration folk,

I'm a UK citizen (almost Canadian too), PR of Canada, and I reside in Vancouver, BC. Recently I have been delving into the world of online dating and have been in contact with a girl who lives in Seattle. We've exchanged a lot of messages and Skyped each other a few times, and now we both really want to meet each other in person.

I'm considering going down to Seattle to meet her sometime soon. I would be using the VWP, and staying at most 2 days. I'm wondering; is there anything in the law which makes this plan questionable? What about if this were to turn into a relationship, and we would have to make frequent trips across the border to visit each other? Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just want to make sure I'm not inadvertently doing anything wrong.

As I said, I reside in Vancouver and don't plan on changing that any time soon - I both work and study here.

Also, what would be the best way to represent myself at the border? Come right out and say I'm meeting someone from an online dating website? Say I'm visiting a friend? Say I'm just visiting Seattle, and shopping (which are both, of course, also true)? It is not my intention to hide anything, as I would provide additional information if asked.

An alternative would be for me to rent a car and use the NEXUS lane, and would likely avoid any potential extra scrutiny at the border, although I'd rather avoid this as it's quite expensive.

Thanks very much in advance, you guys provide really excellent advice!
tastyh is offline  
Old Sep 23rd 2014, 5:51 pm
  #2  
MODERATOR
 
Noorah101's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,679
Noorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

You are allowed to visit the USA to see friends and go shopping (I.e. tourism). You aren't doing anything wrong. At the POE, answer only the question asked, without volunteering more info unless asked specifically.

If the relationship progresses, you can still visit. Don't do back to back trips.

Rene
Noorah101 is offline  
Old Sep 23rd 2014, 6:00 pm
  #3  
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,397
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Everything Noorah said above.

You're only planning to do what the then-future Mrs P and I did 16 years ago, except we were "cross pond", not cross border. I did get a curious grilling by the CBP officer the first time I arrived in the US, though thankfully avoided a "trip to secondary". He also lied to me, telling me I "wasn't allowed to get married on the VWP", though (i) we had no intention of getting married that first time we met, and (ii) later we did marry when I was on a VWP visit without any issue.

FWIW. I only ever said I was "visiting a friend", never my girlfriend or fiancée. You are obligated to tell the truth to a CBP officer, but that doesn't mean you have to spill your guts and tell them everything. Just provide a truthful answer to each question, and make it a brief, clear answer, not one that invites more questions.

Last edited by Pulaski; Sep 23rd 2014 at 6:06 pm.
Pulaski is offline  
Old Sep 23rd 2014, 6:02 pm
  #4  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
tastyh will become famous soon enoughtastyh will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Thank you Rene. And thanks for replying within 4 minutes, that was impressive.

I suppose I was just concerned the admission 'I'm going to see my girlfriend' would raise immediate red flags, but I suppose if that would not preclude me from being a genuine short-term visitor. Anyway, I worry too much, especially about things involving customs agents. Thanks again.
tastyh is offline  
Old Sep 23rd 2014, 6:11 pm
  #5  
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,397
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Originally Posted by tastyh
....... Anyway, I worry too much, especially about things involving customs agents. Thanks again.
"Customs agents" will be interested in your luggage and anything you are carrying with you into the country. It is immigration officers who will be interested in the admissibility of you as an individual.
Pulaski is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2014, 1:01 pm
  #6  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 31
tastyh will become famous soon enoughtastyh will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Just a small update - proving that I do indeed overthink these things, yesterday I was waved through at the border after a disinterested 'where are you going?'. No problems!
tastyh is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2014, 1:05 pm
  #7  
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,397
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Originally Posted by tastyh
Just a small update - proving that I do indeed overthink these things, yesterday I was waved through at the border after a disinterested 'where are you going?'. No problems!
Thank you. We keep telling people that, but some of them just won't believe us, that 99.999% of people clear immigration with no problem whatsoever, and those that do have a problem typically have waaaay more complicated issues than the people who come to BE looking for advice.
Pulaski is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2014, 2:31 pm
  #8  
BE Enthusiast
 
Amie06's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2014
Location: Alliance AL
Posts: 304
Amie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond reputeAmie06 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

I spent 2 years cross pond dating on VWP and always said "visiting fiancee" and explaining that as soon as divorce was through in UK i would apply for K1. Got pulled for "secondary" on one trip to US but that was at Boston where they are always officious. Otherwise no problems and that was about 13 cross pond visits.
Northern efficiency, Southern hospitality. Soooo true.
Amie06 is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2014, 5:34 pm
  #9  
Ray
 
Ray's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Ray has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond reputeRay has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

watch the TV show CATFISH first ...
Ray is offline  
Old Sep 27th 2014, 12:59 am
  #10  
Grumpy Know-it-all
 
Steve_'s Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 8,928
Steve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond reputeSteve_ has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

I've heard of people doing it under the Peace Arch at night, not sure if that's true or whether when people are sitting in line they fantasize about it.

I seem to remember reading an article where two people were caught at it in that library that straddles the border, I think it's in Stanstead.
Steve_ is offline  
Old Oct 2nd 2014, 8:26 pm
  #11  
Forum Regular
 
londonboy450's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Central FL, Ex Londoner
Posts: 58
londonboy450 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Cross-border dating

I was going do to dating as I am a british citizen and on a non immigrant visa but after watching CATFISH i thought it would be better to do another way to get an EAD thou student.
londonboy450 is offline  
Old Oct 2nd 2014, 9:10 pm
  #12  
MODERATOR
 
Noorah101's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,679
Noorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond reputeNoorah101 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Cross-border dating

Originally Posted by londonboy450
I was going do to dating as I am a british citizen and on a non immigrant visa but after watching CATFISH i thought it would be better to do another way to get an EAD thou student.
Well, marriage should never be considered as just a way to get an EAD or green card. You actually have to want to marry that person and have a real marriage.

Rene
Noorah101 is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.