Advice needed please!!

Old Mar 9th 2014, 9:14 am
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Default Advice needed please!!

Hello there!

I am desperately looking for some advice, as I am unsure what to do next. Sorry if this is a long winded one!

I am a UK citizen, my partner of 4 years a US Citizen.
My partner has just spent the last 6 months in the UK with me on a Tourist Visa, and returned to the USA only a few days ago. He begins his new job on Monday.
The 'problem' is that we discovered before he left that I am 4 months pregnant!
We are both very happy, and the baby is very very wanted, but we are now in a dilemma of what to do in terms of being together.
I had planned to visit the US in April time and stay for a few weeks, but now don't know what to do! He obviously could not stay longer in the UK as his visa had run out, and also he has a job he has committed himself to.

We had decided (before the pregnancy news) that ultimately we would live together in the USA, and he would apply for me to go there as his fiancee and marry there. We had intended this to happen this year, and for him to start the application once he was back in the USA, but obviously now are all up in the air with these plans! This is where I need some advice!

We have discussed us getting married when I visit in April, as we believe this is allowed on an ESTA (as long as I return home afterward). However, by then I will be more than 5 months pregnant, and my partner is convinced we can just apply for me stay there as his wife, so I wouldn't have to go home after all. I've read around this site just briefly enough to know that entering the USA on an ESTA with the intention of staying permanently is immigration fraud, and I REALLY REALLY do not want to do this!! Although at the same time, don't want to be apart from him, especially now.
He believes I should just make out I am there on vacation, found out I was pregnant, and decided to stay. Is this actually allowed though? And what would be the chances of being allowed to stay??

I am worried that I will be stopped entering the USA in April if they see I am pregnant anyway on an ESTA, and also that if we wait and apply for a fiancee visa the baby would be born by the time we got it through! My Partner and I really want to be together to share this pregnancy as it is a first baby for both of us, and we would be devastated if he missed the birth or we could not be together to share all it's highs and lows.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! I'm so worried about what to do, and I'm unbelievably stressed!

Thank you for reading and thanks in advance anyone who can help
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 10:46 am
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

You are right: it is illegal for you to enter the US with the intent of adjusting status to permanent resident.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 11:30 am
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

You already know that what you are proposing is illegal. No one here will reassure you that this is ok - since attempting it can result in deportation and a ban from the US.

The K1 would probably be your best bet - since it will get you there quicker (6-8 months) and your partner can file the paperwork today. The downside is there will be more to do when you arrive and get married, and you cannot work from day one.

Since the child will be born before you move over - it will need a US passport so believe. Someone else will be along to advise about that shortly.

As you are expecting - and the baby will be very young when you move over- it would be remiss of us not to ask about health insurance. Does your partner have coverage that you and your child will be able to go on?
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 12:22 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

I don't want to get Bellalove's hopes up unduly but K1 visas can be issued more quickly than 6 months.

My USC fiancée filed her I-129F petition for me in early November 2013, my visa interview is in a couple of weeks and the likelihood is we'll have the visa in hand 5 months. That's including responding to an RFE and delaying booking my medical examination so that the visa validity better suited our travel/wedding plans. The minimum delay that these two things introduced was 1 month and possibly as much as 2 months (it's hard to judge how long the RFE delayed things).

If you had all the necessary documents and paperwork together to allow your partner to file the petition in a timely manner it's possible but far, far from certain that you could have the visa by June/July.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 1:03 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

My suggestion probably won't be ideal, but hopefully legal.

Visit on VWP in time to have the baby in US. Get married as soon as you arrive, to be covered on Hubby's health insurance.

Apply for immigrant visa, and go back to UK within 90 days to wait it out, possibly leaving baby with Dad.

Baby will be dual citizen, I believe.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 1:44 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by Bellalove
We have discussed us getting married when I visit in April, as we believe this is allowed on an ESTA (as long as I return home afterward).
Correct. So, if you want to marry before the child is born, this is the way forward.


However, by then I will be more than 5 months pregnant, and my partner is convinced we can just apply for me stay there as his wife, so I wouldn't have to go home after all.
It is illegal to enter the US as a tourist with the intent to stay to adjust status. But, you already know this.


Although at the same time, don't want to be apart from him, especially now.
The US government has no interest in your personal business, and it takes time for both the petition and visa application to be processed. You can't have it both ways. With respect, you and he caused this dilemma... and, without trying to be cruel, it's time to pay the piper!


He believes I should just make out I am there on vacation, found out I was pregnant, and decided to stay. Is this actually allowed though?
Doing this would require you to lie to the CBP officer at the border - and, if caught, would initiate a most unfortunate series of events. However, if your question is more along the lines of "Can I get away with it?" then... yes, you probably can. But that's not quite the same thing.


I am worried that I will be stopped entering the USA in April if they see I am pregnant anyway on an ESTA...
Yes, they might.


... if we wait and apply for a fiancee visa the baby would be born by the time we got it through!
It's probably better if the baby is born in the UK... must less expensive - and you probably have a support system already there.

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Old Mar 9th 2014, 1:47 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by RICH
My suggestion probably won't be ideal, but hopefully legal.
It is! I'm not sure mom would want to leave the baby with the dad, but that's a separate issue... in an arena already filling up with issues.


Baby will be dual citizen, I believe.
The baby will be a dual citizen... assuming mom and dad meet the requirements to pass their respective citizenships to the child.

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Old Mar 9th 2014, 2:27 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

It would be a lot quicker for him to move to the UK.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 2:33 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by technolog
I don't want to get Bellalove's hopes up unduly but K1 visas can be issued more quickly than 6 months.

My USC fiancée filed her I-129F petition for me in early November 2013, my visa interview is in a couple of weeks and the likelihood is we'll have the visa in hand 5 months. That's including responding to an RFE and delaying booking my medical examination so that the visa validity better suited our travel/wedding plans. The minimum delay that these two things introduced was 1 month and possibly as much as 2 months (it's hard to judge how long the RFE delayed things).

If you had all the necessary documents and paperwork together to allow your partner to file the petition in a timely manner it's possible but far, far from certain that you could have the visa by June/July.
Could but highly unlikely. It's great that things went that fast for you but things seem to have slowed down again since then. We filed 3 months ago so even I doubt we'd make it over there by June/July. OP, if you go down this route, assume this will take 6-8 months as a minimum.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 2:37 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by RICH
My suggestion probably won't be ideal, but hopefully legal.

Visit on VWP in time to have the baby in US. Get married as soon as you arrive, to be covered on Hubby's health insurance.

Apply for immigrant visa, and go back to UK within 90 days to wait it out, possibly leaving baby with Dad.

Baby will be dual citizen, I believe.
This but, as he'll be working, take the baby back with you to wait out your visa. Being a single mum sucks but at least it won't be for long.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 3:49 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by BunnyGirl
This but, as he'll be working, take the baby back with you to wait out your visa. Being a single mum sucks but at least it won't be for long.
Couldn't agree more... leaving a newborn and returning to the UK to wait for what will undoubtedly be several months could be pretty harrowing.

I can fully understand the desperation in this situation but it's a tough enough scenario even without there being a baby involved. The more you desire to hurry things along, the more pressure you are putting on yourselves to get it right. The more pressure you apply, the more likely it is to get it wrong.

Ok your timing isn't ideal, but if you were planning to spend the rest of your lives together anyway, take your time to do things in a way that won't cause unnecessary stress. If you can't get to the US permanently as quickly as you would like, then I would recommend having the baby in the UK - as someone already suggested, it will be infinitely cheaper and you may have friends and family here that you will probably need for a while.

Good luck
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by Boiler
It would be a lot quicker for him to move to the UK.
Only if she earns the right income level to sponsor him. Being pregnant, I don't know if she is working and earns the right amount.

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Old Mar 9th 2014, 5:03 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Minor consideration, perhaps, but it needs to be considered whether you want to impose US citizenship on your baby as soon as it's born given that you have some choice.

Last edited by Hotscot; Mar 9th 2014 at 5:14 pm.
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Old Mar 9th 2014, 5:13 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

Originally Posted by hotscot
Minor consideration, perhaps, but it needs to be considered whether you want to impose US citizenship on your baby as soon as it's born given that you have a choice.
There's no choice involved if the father is able to pass citizenship to his offspring. If the child is born in the US, it will automatically be a US citizen... but even if the child is born in the UK, it will still be a USC at birth. I'm not sure why you think that there's a choice involved!

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Old Mar 9th 2014, 5:30 pm
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Default Re: Advice needed please!!

"but even if the child is born in the UK, it will still be a USC at birth."

Sorry Ian..didn't know that was the case.
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