bombadil

Looking around this forum I can see that there are threads similar to mine. But non fit specifically to my position or answer specifically my questions (if I am incorrect please link me the thread and I'm sorry for wasting your time).

I am a British citizen and to me, moving to America is the only thing I want. This isn't a fleeting passion, it has been my only real ambition since my age was a single digit (think the opening scene of Goodfellas but replace 'gangsta' with American Citizen). I have been there before (Texas) for 3 months volunteering and it was the best experience of my life.

I'm currently 23 and have finished my university studies, I graduated with a 2:2 in sociology, not something in particularly high demand and doesn't set me apart.

Now on paper it is all but impossible for me to live in America except if I were to get married to a US citizen - something I'm not averted to at all, which brings me to my first question - how can I increase my chances of meeting an American lady in the UK?

The only other route that would be potentially possible is working with a company that would be willing to transfer me abroad. This will be very difficult due to my lack of qualifications or any kind of distinction from everyone else who wants to work in the USA. So onto my second question, what companies that might reasonably hire me would likely offer this opportunity? I'm fine with working hard for a company for a few years for the chance, but my time is finite and every moment not spent in the USA or getting opportunities to work in the USA are moments wasted. What I'm trying to say is if I work for a company for 4 years only to discover I have no chance of going to America, then they are 4 years I have wasted as the money means nothing to me except allowing my continued survival in a state of limbo.

Lastly are there any unconventional methods of being able to live in the US? Is there some back door route, e.g get an ESTA go to this state, mingle with these people etc. Basically is there anything I can do?

So you know the situation:

Weaknesses: Poor (can afford flights, temporary living), no distinct qualities or qualifications.

Strengths: Good working attitude - I'll turn up early and leave late, complete dedication to this goal that will remain sustained, no financial or family constraints tying me to the UK, willingness to do just about anything except becoming the worlds most disappointing male prostitute.

One last thing to mention is that I am also interested in moving to Canada, this is going to raise red flags - but trust me I know, they are completely different countries with different cultures and the USA in itself is not one consistent country your experience differs everywhere - I get it.

I know you guys get these threads a lot, and I am sorry, but I can't feel like I'm doing nothing. If there is just anything you can tell me or any advice you can give me the it really will be appreciated. The prospect of living and working in the UK for the rest of my life holds absolutely no interest for me, it will be a wasted life.

bombadil

Just to add, where I talk about marriage it implies that I would marry a woman purely of the virtue of her being American, though I wouldn't be averted to that if it were legal , both would have to agree. I would never mislead a woman into marrying me - what I meant is if i were to find someone to marry, it would be great if they were American to!

DavidLemon

My impression from this thread is that you reek of desperation. This can lead to you making some bad decisions.

Do not look for loopholes or back doors, this will not likely end well for you. Whilst many people do find love and move to the US to be with their loved ones, I would not suggest trying to fake a relationship for these purposes.

There are legitimate means to get to the US, and one of the most successful ways is networking. Look for companies that have a presence in both the UK and the US, and see if there are positions within that could be applicable to you and your desired expectations.

Have a look here and see what applies to your current situation. Maybe nothing, but you may see something that you can work towards.

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pulask...ork_in_the_USA

bombadil

Hello, and thank you very much for your reply!

You are right, I do reek of desperation, that's because I am desperate. It's impossible not to be really. I have one potentially impossible goal and I am running out of time.

I cleared up my intentions with marriage in a post above, sorry, I didn't word it to well.

The link is unfortunately disappointing and is confirming my worst fear, that I won't be able to go to the US by virtue of not being rich, lucky or a genius. I have to keep trying though, I don't see why I would not be wanted - i don't want to change the culture, I don't want to leech off the system, I want to work hard and live happy. I know there's a lot of people who live in America who fit that bill but I'm sure some want to live in the UK. I'd be happy to swap

markwm

US investment banks based in the UK usually offer opportunities to transfer to the US - I know quite a few people who have gone this route.

There really is no short cut to getting out here legally: it may take you a number of years.

As for meeting American women, go to where they go. I believe that there is a softball league (http://www.britishsoftball.org/) that meets in Regents Park where ex-pat Americans may congregate - try that or the American School in London (http://www.asl.org/): get a job there or at the Embassy (http://london.usembassy.gov/hrd/index.html).

Noorah101

I was going to suggest studying in the USA, getting your Masters here, at least it will help you network and maybe get a job for your OPT year, and also give you a chance to meet more American women. However, you said you are poor, and studying in the USA is expensive. So that route might be out, unless you are willing to get employed in the UK, work hard, and save your money for however long it takes for you to save enough to study in the USA.

You said a couple of times that "time is running out". Why is that? Do you have a terminal illness? Are you elderly? (Edit to add: I see you are only 23, so you're not elderly.)

Rene

slummymummy

Try a dating site? You could look for an american lady not only in the UK but also in the USA. Many people "meet" online, then visit each other on vacation and then decide to get married.

LinkTen

I agree with the 'studying for a masters' route. Get a job in the UK and save. If you can, move back in with your parents or live with friends. Keep you living costs as low as possible and you could be in the US within a few years. Once you've completed your degree, you can work for a period of time afterwards if you secure a job. Hopefully this will open the doors to sponsorship, networking and maybe even meeting someone special.

bombadil

markwm - Thank you for the links, I think it's going to take a lot of time to look into all these opportunities, but at a glance it's looking like these professions are for quite skilled people - which not through any lack of trying, I am not. But I will search for as many US investment banks as possible and maybe one will have a ground level job.

Noorah101 - I think not only am I too poor for the Academic route, but also probably not exceptional enough. When in university I did apply for the American exchange but was unfortunately declined. I'm no idiot and consider myself a fairly educated person, but probably not to the degree where I could do a masters.

As for time is running out, I'm not terminally ill, though the sentiment of my messages seems to be what you would expect :P. What I mean is that I don't enjoy life in the UK, I don't want to sound depressing but that's where the urgency comes from. The time I have enjoyed was when I was in the US not from coincidence but by virtue of being in the US. If I have to work 20-50 years to get to the USA, so be it, but I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, I smoke as well which doesn't help. I don't want to have lived a life where I never got to do what was necessary for me to be happy.

slummymummy - Definitely interested in that, but most of the ones I have checked out so far have been aimed at finding people in your location. I enter my address and it shows up locals, and it might be a bit unfair if I find a random spot in the US and start talking to someone! Are there any dating sites designed for people in my predicament that you may have heard of? I'll look round some more!

Thanks for all of your replies, I appreciate you taking time out of your day to help out.

bombadil

Thanks for the info! The plan is to save up some financial backing, I'm currently keeping living costs very low and I hope to build up some savings which I'm sure will help. I mentioned why education is probably not the best route above (short story: not smart enough).

LinkTen

Don't underestimate yourself. If you've managed to pass an undergraduate degree, and have the determination and passion, I'm sure you'll be fine with a masters. Each to their own however. Best of luck.

IPM

Indeed, or perhaps drinking at The Builders in South Ken. Its round the corner from a US college. 15 years ago I found it most agreeable.

jeffreyhy

You are only 23, how are you possibly running out of time? Incurable disease or some kind?

Regards, JEff

Nutmegger

Now there's a way to a start saving money! Quit smoking and put the money saved away each week -- also good practice for when you get to the States, as you don't want to be one of those sad people huddled in the cold outside an office building puffing away! Good luck on your quest.

PS Full disclosure -- I'm one of the converted.

bombadil

IPM - Well I'm in Suffolk at the moment, so it wouldn't be the easiest commute but maybe a 'one in a million shot' day trip could be a bit of fun!

jeffreyhy - Hey, I posted my explanation for that comment a bit above, the jist of it is without being to melodramatic, you can go at any moment, and although you can't expect to be happy all the time no matter what, i don't want to go without being able to say that I did what I knew I was born to do.

Nutmegger - Oh I know! But if I didn't smoke I think my US-frustration would overwhelm me If i get there, i'll quit within the week.

Thanks guys!