kericare

well we have been here as it says not even 3 months yet and i am feeling so homesick,i know it isnt a long time at all but i already feel i have been here for months,the boys started their school and have been there 4 weeks now,they have had their ups and downs and have cried for their old school and friends which doesnt help me which makes me feel have we done the right thing by taking them away from what they know,i have twins also who are 4 in sept,they loved their old pre-school i have been taking them to day nursery which they are due to start properly next week and the other day they both said they dont like it,i know they are too young to understand what is going on but when we moved into our rental they said to me this isnt our house and when are we going back to our old house ,my little girl talks on her pretend phone to her nan telling her she loves her millions and ask when shes gonna see her,hubby has started work hes getting on ok i think,back in uk he had his own business for 17 yrs and to have to now go and work for someone i feel its very hard for him,we do sit and talk about things and we do say that if we hadnt of come we would have always been saying what if,and always wondering what it would have been like if we hadnt of came here.but i just feel so low and inside i feel im gonna break down,hubbys parent are coming out in sept for 6 weeks which i am really looking forward to that and am counting down the weeks,then for christmas my mum,sister,nan and grandad are coming which i cant wait for,but i know its gonna be even harder yet again and go through all the emotions of saying goodbye when they go back,and they havent even got here yet,i know why we came here for in the first place and that is to give our kids and us a better way of life but its the family and friends you leave behind which makes it so hard,at times i feel i could just get back on the plane and go back home but i know we have to give it time to settle 3 months is nothing to decide to just up and go back,i have heard that people say you have to give it at least a yr to 2 ,and i know there are people that go back and end up realising that they had made a mistake by going back only for them to come back again,we have said that we will give it a yr and then see how we feel.as people have said to me look at it as an adeventure you would have never have known if you never tried it and i do know we are very lucky to be able to have been given the chance to come here as some people want to come here but cant ,i just miss my family and friends so much it hurts does anyone else feel like this

pompeyblonde

Hi, so sorry you are suffering so much...... I think that I would generally agree that it takes two years to settle. unfortunately you will still miss people, and those airport goodbyes...for me...are worse now rather than better....

I guess if you are really unhappy its silly to stick it for 2 years, but it takes that long to make friends and settle down....

Give it a bit longer, don't think of it as forever, think of it as an adventure, you can go back if you want to! Imagine how refugees feel who can never go back to their country? good luck!!

kendalanita

Kericare

How do I private message you?

kericare

hi kendalanita,i think you click on my user name not sure though,then it should come up if not go to FAQ,and that may tell you hope to here from you

Kapri

Click on the persons user name and the option to PM comes up

Stitch

Hi, Just wanted to say been there and done that. It is such a horrible feeling but trust me you will feel better. I've been here just under two years now and I remember those first few weeks like it was yesterday. I soooooo missed everyone. Son cried for about 6 weeks every night and daughter constinently asked for months when she was going 'home'! Son has now decided that he like's here more but does miss folks back in the UK and daughter is getting a wee bit better. There is good and bad in both places and you just have to give yourself some time and space. Don't beat yourself up trying to hold it together. Let it all out sometimes and keep talking.

Trust me it gets easier....From one whoes been on the rollercoaster.

Cheers

Ginny

jad n rich

Lots of people only realise how much extended family mean to them/their kids once they arrive and the distance/cost sinks in.

But you have 2 very young children, they are at the age where even if you stayed and enjoyed 2 years here you could still go back without too much disruption to your lives , I mean read some of the posts from people in this situation with teens just enjoy now, knowing your not here for life if you dont want to be makes it a lot easier to get on with it all.

DebraH

I haven't been on this site for a very long time, have to say that I agree with the above post. I am now back in the UK and finding life very hard - I've had a taste of a new and different life and yet I came back here as I missing the support from family - now I'm back I've realised that we had something really good in Australia.

It is hard and no matter what other people tell you or try to advise you on - you have to be the one who decides on where you want to be - be it right or wrong. I do know how you feel and hope that whatever you do its the right choice - just think very carefully about it all - the pros and cons to each side.

nightnurse2

Hi Debra, how are you? I didn't realise you'd gone back to the UK.
Would you think about coming back to OZ?
Hope you and your children are doing OK
Tracey

nightnurse2

I'm sorry you're not feeling good. It is early days though and a culture shock for you. It does take time to adjust and make some sort of lives for yourselves. Try and give it some time.
Having family over will give you something to look forward to but try and get out and make friends etc. I remember our first winter, sitting in our lounge room, all alone and feeling sorry for myself. I realised that nobody knew me and didn't know I was there and so I would have to get out and meet people. It made me seek out new friends and I haven't looked back since.
There are a couple of lunch time meets at the Boat in Mindarie on a Tuesday and at the Beach Shack at Hillary's on a Thursday. I also meet a group of women on a Monday for ten pin bowling if you're interested?
Try and make one of the meets, it'll help because we've all been through what you going through now (and I still do after my mum has left )
Send me a pm if you'd like details of any of the meets
Tracey

kez81

i do, i felt like that the first few months and still do 3 years on, i think its hard being over here with no family and having young children i really miss my family support and when family have came to visit its been lovely but so heartbreaking when they leave, give yourself longer things may get better.

were in oz are you?

DebraH

sent you a PM x

quoll

Sorry to hear that you are doing it tough at the moment - you'll find that it will come and go. Give yourself a time limit and then make an active decision about whether you stay here or not. My advice is to make active decisions at key points through your kids lives rather than just going with the flow because it is easy to get stuck here and then you look back and regret it. Your kids are still little and wont suffer if you decide to head home with them - look upon it as a 2 year adventure then make the decision about what to do. Nobody ever tells you how hard the emotional cr*p can be - do they?

As for a better life for the kids - personally I think it goes beyond being able to play outside (not that Aussie kids do that very much) and is more about the people in their lives which make them "better" and personally I think that a "whole" better life includes the influence of grandparents and extended family around them rather than being raised in the sterility of an isolated nuclear family group but that is just my 2c worth!

{{{hugs}}} anyway!!!

Georgina H

So sorry for how you are feeling at the moment and in a lot of ways it mirrors my current feelings.

My husband and I arrived here in february and for the first 10 weeks we busied ourselves in getting established, liking it here and not having time to feel homesick. Then at the end of april we had to unexpectedly go back to the UK as my husbands brother passed away quite suddenly. Obviously this has now put a different perspective on things for us.

The distance is now a big issue and losing my brother in law has made me realise that I need my parents and brothers in my life. Also it has dawned on us that although salary wise we are in a good position, because of the current climate we cannot afford to buy a house. Everything is more expensive here and its not, in my opinion, anywhere near as good quality.

We have already made some lovely friends here (all poms!) and our social life is very good, but with that said, the thought of only seeing my parents once a year or every other year terrifies me.

I love working with the aussies as they are lovely friendly people but I have found that I am a lot more English than I thought I was and I am actually proud of it too.

We will have to see how we go, if in November we still feel this way we may make the decision to go back. But we just don't know what is going to happen at this time.

kericare

hi all thanks for yr comments,we will just take a day at a time and see how things go,i know its early days but if after a couple of yrs i still feel this way then we will think of going back kerrie