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-   -   My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today (https://britishexpats.com/forum/update-forum-107/my-partner-walked-out-after-10-yr-relationship-today-746330/)

RuralAus Jan 26th 2012 6:43 am

My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Hi

I've been a long time lurker on BE and have found it invaluable with information. We've been here in Aus since 2008. Unfortunately my update is a sad one. My LTR partner walked out on me today after a 10yr relationship. There had been problems for a while, just growing apart, no one major event led to this.

The thing is I love him but the problems in the past few months have worn me out and I almost felt relief today but I know the grief will hit me like a ton of bricks when it hits home. I am visiting friends in Brisbane tomorrow as I live 4 hours from Bris in a rural area for work.

The biggest thing that's hitting me today is the intense loneliness and emptiness. I can't pick up the phone and call him for a chat:( He is at a bbq for Australia Day with our mutual friends and I didn't go for obvious reasons).

I'm trawling youtube for tips on how to cope, we are both heavily invested financially together here, as many LTRs are and I guess its scaring me when I think of all those things we need to sort out.

I guess I'm wondering if this has happened to others where their family is half way across the world and how they coped with the initial few days/weeks/months e.g. work, keeping sane etc.

I need a hug and a cuppa tea from me mammy.

I have talked to some Aus friends today (only 2) on the phone but I don't want to annoy them too much either.

Any advice would be welcome :(

ukintexas Jan 26th 2012 6:27 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Hi, I'm not in Aus, and in US, but was having a nose around the forums when I saw your thread. Just wanted to say sorry for what you're going through. I haven't been through it myself, but from the experiences I've gone through with friends who have ended, or partners have ended, long term relationships I know that taking a day at a time was the only way to initially function. Completely cliched I guess to say that, but sometimes you need reminding of the simple coping mechanisms when your mind is going ten to the dozen. I hope that things work out for you, and am sorry again that you're going through a horrible time.

Wendy Jan 26th 2012 10:35 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Big hugs for you. It's hard when a relationship breaks down like this, and after coming out of a 20 year marriage (24 year relationship!) last year, I fully understand how you feel - and I was the one who left!

I am sure your friends wouldn't want you to feel alone, so make sure you talk to them and don't feel guilty about it. I know my friend told me that I could talk to her any time I needed to, even if it was in the middle of the night - that's what friends are for.

I also went to counciling, which worked wonders for me as it helped me clear my head and figure out what I wanted to do.

You have to give yourself time to grieve, and make sure you look after yourself. It's very easy to slip into a depression and feel like you're totally alone.

Money/property issues can be sorted out, but don't make any hasty decisions regarding either. I would suggest that you contact a solicitor as well, just to make sure you know where you stand with things.

Is there any way you could go visit your family for a while? or if not, is there anyone who could come to you?

Kapri Jan 28th 2012 5:29 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Hi

I'm so sorry to hear your news. You must be reeling with it all.

I would reiterate what Wendy has said - you will need to grieve the loss and this will take time.

In the meantime, make sure you get out and meet friends, even if you don't feel like it.

Best of luck :)

JAJ Jan 28th 2012 8:04 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
If the holder of a temporary visa, then that is an additional problem to consider. We've not been told this detail. Many holders of temporary visas have had to leave Australia when their relationship ends.

molly.h Feb 22nd 2012 9:06 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 

Originally Posted by RuralAus (Post 9866075)
Hi

I've been a long time lurker on BE and have found it invaluable with information. We've been here in Aus since 2008. Unfortunately my update is a sad one. My LTR partner walked out on me today after a 10yr relationship. There had been problems for a while, just growing apart, no one major event led to this.

The thing is I love him but the problems in the past few months have worn me out and I almost felt relief today but I know the grief will hit me like a ton of bricks when it hits home. I am visiting friends in Brisbane tomorrow as I live 4 hours from Bris in a rural area for work.

The biggest thing that's hitting me today is the intense loneliness and emptiness. I can't pick up the phone and call him for a chat:( He is at a bbq for Australia Day with our mutual friends and I didn't go for obvious reasons).

I'm trawling youtube for tips on how to cope, we are both heavily invested financially together here, as many LTRs are and I guess its scaring me when I think of all those things we need to sort out.

I guess I'm wondering if this has happened to others where their family is half way across the world and how they coped with the initial few days/weeks/months e.g. work, keeping sane etc.

I need a hug and a cuppa tea from me mammy.

I have talked to some Aus friends today (only 2) on the phone but I don't want to annoy them too much either.

Any advice would be welcome :(

Hi,
I am very sorry to hear this and I am thinking about you. How are you now?
I hope today was a bit better than yesterday.
As the others have said, allow yourself to grieve and take
one moment at a time.
Take care,

Molly

mckays Feb 23rd 2012 11:01 am

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Take a moment and shed those tears, when your ready to stop? Pick yourself up and fight for everything that is yours! Get yourself back on track and even spoil yourself rotten - make yourself feel better! He will see what he has missed out on 9and probably want you back!) and you will find someone better - we make our own choices..so make sure its you choosing :-) Good luck!x

Pennines49 Feb 23rd 2012 1:41 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Sorry to hear the news, yep, the pressure is double for migrants here without a support network. I bet there are may others on the edge too.
Good luck.

kalaiwillis May 11th 2012 9:50 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 

Originally Posted by RuralAus (Post 9866075)
Hi

I've been a long time lurker on BE and have found it invaluable with information. We've been here in Aus since 2008. Unfortunately my update is a sad one. My LTR partner walked out on me today after a 10yr relationship. There had been problems for a while, just growing apart, no one major event led to this.

The thing is I love him but the problems in the past few months have worn me out and I almost felt relief today but I know the grief will hit me like a ton of bricks when it hits home. I am visiting friends in Brisbane tomorrow as I live 4 hours from Bris in a rural area for work.

The biggest thing that's hitting me today is the intense loneliness and emptiness. I can't pick up the phone and call him for a chat:( He is at a bbq for Australia Day with our mutual friends and I didn't go for obvious reasons).

I'm trawling youtube for tips on how to cope, we are both heavily invested financially together here, as many LTRs are and I guess its scaring me when I think of all those things we need to sort out.

I guess I'm wondering if this has happened to others where their family is half way across the world and how they coped with the initial few days/weeks/months e.g. work, keeping sane etc.

I need a hug and a cuppa tea from me mammy.

I have talked to some Aus friends today (only 2) on the phone but I don't want to annoy them too much either.

Any advice would be welcome :(

Was he Australian or British?

rebecca.hartstrom May 17th 2012 8:55 pm

Re: My partner walked out after a 10 yr relationship today
 
Awww sorry to hear about this. Here's a virtual hug from me to you. I hope you're feeling better now dear.


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