sunbather

We have the shoe on the other foot in that it was us who left to come to Oz, leaving our grown up children behind in the UK. We have great relations with them all, two have had babies since we left and for the most part I have been fine with this. Miss them of course but the relationships still flourish thanks to webcams. But I seem to have so many people lately asking me how I could leave my kids behind that I'm now beginning to question what we've done and doubt myself as a mother and now grandmother

Babsw

It may just be me but i can't see a problem with this, many of our friends have children who work abroad,we've always encouraged our children to see the world and explore.When we move to aus. I won't expect our children to live in aus, great if they want to but if they want to move back or to America or somewhere else i won't be stopping them.
I think people put their guilt trips on others, i certainly don't think you are a bad mother or grandmother, you are entitled to your life and you obviously keep a good relationship with your family so whats the problem. They know where you are, that you are there for them and frankly its no body elses business. Don't let them bother you. I am leaving my eldest daughter behind when we go, she is 24 with her own home and her little boy and she's glad we are getting to do what we want but has no desire to come with us. We'll be in touch like you with web cams etc and i suspect some people think the same about me (unnatural mother)but just haven't said it yet!

scousercarol

We are also doing that. We leave in 10 days and are leaving our two adult children, both happy and settled in a realtionship in their own houses. We have'nt even committed ourselves to forever. We intend to stay a couple of years and then come back for a while and see what happens and how we feel and maybe go back again. We are lucky cos I am a midwife so have no problem finding work and OH mum and sisters live on the Gold Coast so we family on UK and Oz. We want to spend some time in Oz mainly cos mil is terminally ill, although she is well at the moment, we don't know how long she has got. We also love Oz and are looking forward to living there for a while. BUT, I feel so guilty about leaving our children, even though they totally understand and are very supportive. As the time is getting nearer I am having serious collywobbles! We have set everyone up with webcams and skype so we can all keep in regular touch, but still not sure if it will be enough. How long have you been there, and how have you coped?

Carol x

sunbather

Been here two years now. It was something we had talked about ever since I can remember and it was a case of do it now or not at all because of the age restrictions on the visa. We would have been gutted if we'd not done it then in a couple of years time all our kids had moved away somewhere and we'd have missed our chance. There was no sign of any grandchildren on the horizon when we left, our daughter thought she wouldn't be able to have any and our son was adamant he wasn't getting married

As a mother it was hard not being with my daughter whilst she was going through her pregnancy but we speak to her every week on the webcam and were able to watch her bump grow and wiggle as the baby kicked. And then we have seen our grandchildren grow each week too. One came over to visit at Christmas and I'm sure he recognised our voices when they arrived here and definitely since they went back he now looks at the pc screen and seems to know who we are. He's a year old now.

I do miss my kids, but not as much as I thought I might and I am very sure that this is because of the webcam. We still *see* them.

I think I have just felt a bit wobbly the last couple of days after a phone conversation with my daughter telling how they'd spent a lovely afternoon with my son and how the two babies had been playing so nicely together.

I'm sure it will pass.

We did bring one teenage son with us and we are prepared for the fact that he may well want to go back to the UK when he's older. So long as they are all fit and happy then that will keep me satisfied.

scousercarol

I agree with the last bit. That has always been my motto. The most important thing is that they are happy and healthy. I know we have to do this now or we will never do it. I am looking forward to the adventure But being a mum I never stop worrying!

Thanks for your input, it's made me realise I'm not the only one leaving my kids. So many people on here have little one's they are taking
with them.

Carol x

JoolsB

Good luck with the move PP-hope you settle in well to your new home.

In order to realise our Aussie dream we have moved 5 times in the last 2 years and it certainly does take it out of you. Even tho OH and I are both gypsies by nature we are glad to have the chance to settle at last-well for at least 5 years til we grow bored again

My parents were ping-pongers-3 times back and forth when I was growing up...

Hutch

My dad was born in Brisbane in the mid-1930s (bit different back then so I'm told) and moved to the UK aged 7, when my grandfather got a senior job with the GLC. World War II started and my dad was sent back to Oz for the duration of the war, whilst my grandfather was placed in charge of all air-raid shelters/provisions for the greater london area. With the war won, my grandfather sent for my dad and my aunt and they got the boat back to the UK again (witnessing the Japanese submarine fleet surrendering en route). He didn't return to Australia for another 52 years because he was busy raising our family and enjoying his career as an English teacher.

His plan had always been to fully retire in Oz, but his parents lived rather longer than anyone anticipated (he was looking after them) and he and my mum only made it back here in 2001 aged, respecitively, 75 and 78. They live in Berry here in NSW in a house they call 'The Resort' and absolutely love it. Moral of the story: you're never too old to ping-pong.

sunbather

Really interesting reading Hutch Good for your mum and dad for not giving up on their dream

AliJ

What a wonderful story Hutch

leftfieldlover

Probably slightly off beam but... My OH is currently working in Cairo for 2 and a half to 5 years. I decided to stay in UK where I have a good job. Our three children are in their 20s and live away from home. OH comes home every 5 or 6 weeks for a fortnight and a month at Christmas. I visit him twice a year - 6 weeks in the summer and 2 weeks at Easter. We have all just spent Easter in Cairo and it was great. I fully expect my children to live overseas at some point - actually my daughter has already lived in Japan and Spain since Uni. Life is too short to worry about what others think. When my brother and sister both decided to live in Sydney my mum was looking at air fares before you could say 'wombat'. Of course it's even easier now with webcam and emails etc. If annoying/boring brother mentioned in a previous post can't cope with this, it's probably because he's jealous and can't envisage anyone doing anything so exciting with their lives. As I used to say to my daughter when she had an Aussie boyfriend - 'he's only a day away on a 'plane'.

scousercarol

Love it Puts it all into perspective! The world is a small place nowadays, and anyone who does'n't want to take advantage.... well... thats their problem

benji wenji

hello, was hoping to find a topic like this, didnt think it was gonna happen thow because i didnt think many people would move back from australia! lol.. well im new here anyway, my names ben and ive not long turned 18, i moved back to birmingham in november 07 after me and rest of my family decided to come back last july well around that time anyway. i felt like i was just settling in at that time thow after i had missed mates and things back home a few times before then. anyway we lived in helensvale, gold coast for 2 and a half years, got citizenship and everything which is a big bonus for moving back, my parents have only just come back in march thow as i came back early because i missed it here alot. but now i have been back i feel like ive realised why my parents wanted to move there in the first place, and i really want to go back but my mom and dad are happy back with their family, well, i think they are, and since im so young, its kinda hard to financially support yourself to go back alone as you could imagine. the good thing is i wont have to go through visas and everything again thanks to citizenship! not sure if all that made much sense as im just typing what is on my mind haha, just looking for any advice if anyone can help? cheers.

northernbird

It amazes me people who say that. They don't say it when the kids leave home and move away, somehow that is OK but woe betide a parent who moves away from grown up children (ADULTS btw, not kids!) Infuriates me.

lisaroo

thanks for all the posts on this thread,\ (even though it goes a little off topic) i really enjoyed other peoples views on it and didnt want to post it on mbtuk, as i felt i may get some negative responses!! things hav'nt really changed for me at the moment apart from the fact we have now informed f+f both in uk and oz that we are to return to oz!!!!!!!, hubby is also wanting this and also 7 yr old who has now decided that he is also not loving being home (nothing to do with me, havnt been overly negative with kids), f+f were not to bad a few sarcky and 'so your leaving us again' comments, ut hey its our life and we want to rule it!!!! so here we come again oz in 2 years 10 months 1 week and 24 hours for good this time!!!

bluekipper

You have something to aim for now Lisaroo,, well done for admitting where you much rather be! at least you can knuckly down and get some money together and get the wheels in motion,, I dont know how long we`l be before we get to the point of the date we`l leave the Uk to return,,, things are going very well for us now here, so we are not going anywhere yet! although I think of oZ daily, so my heart must be there! who knows,, But congrats anyhows

bluekipper