cherry6

Wow just seen this thread and Im glad we werent the only ones going back and forth too! This is our FOURTH time in Australia, we first came out in 1998, stayed for 6 months, I got homesick and then we returned to the UK, then we realised what a stupid mistake we had made and came back to Perth in 1999, stayed for only 5 months as my husband couldnt settle this time. Going back to the UK I was so upset as I now knew I had to be in Perth to be happy, so we returned to Aus in 2001, unfortunately my husband still couldnt settle and he left me to go back to the UK. I couldnt survive here without him (financially plus having no family etc) so I also came back in 2002. Finally, we made it back here in 2004 (after we had got back together) and have been here since.
It does get easier the longer you are here, i think with us we had a lot of pressure from family whom i knew really missed us, plus our kids were small and we felt guilty that they were missing out on family. It was sad at Xmas sitting here in the sunshine with only presents from each other and nothing from family (as ours were always too broke to send anything), plus we have never really had friends here as we are a bit shy and a bit unsociable at times (you know, we like to keep ourselves to ourselves).
I am starting to feel the familiar yearnings to go back though, mainly because I have just had a baby and I would love my family to see him (as they will never visit us here and I refuse to holiday back there). Plus I am sick of the lack of choice here, as a previous poster mentioned about Tescos etc, I miss decent shopping and decent shopping hours (Perth is stuck in the 50s). I miss proper seasons. But from previous experience I know the minute I set foot in the UK I will regret it, as I will then remember just how gloomy it is, how wet, how expensive, how depressing.
The sad thing is I think once you start ping ponging, you are never truly 100% happy with either place as you always will yearn for the other place. There is no true paradise :-(

bluekipper

I`m hoping one day i`l be writing and saying the same thing! the way I see it,even tho I was extremely homesick and I mean extremely, then why do I feel the need to go back? obviously the homesickness was just all in my head and since being home,apart from my job and mates theres nothing here for me! my kids had a fantastic life over there, everything seems much better when there sun and sea I cannot believe its me thats the driving force to go back as it was only me that wanted to come home to the UK! I seriously need my head examining,lol

bluekipper

lisaroo

morning ping pongers, feeling fragile today!!!!! (hangover?) went out for a quiet meal. told my two brothers last night of our plans to go back to oz, and one of them was fine, the other hit the roof!!!! we tried to explain of the reasons but he just doesnt want to know, he said we were selfish, because we are letting everyone get to know the kids and then buggering off with them to be by the beach.....he really doesnt understand and i dont think he wants to he is worse this time round and we're not even going for a couple of years

steveandlesley

Hi Lisaroo,

Just found your thread, and wanted to wish you all the best.
Do whats right by you and your own family first, the rest of them will have to adapt !!

Just wondering what wonderful things we can do in Stoke on this wet dull, cold morning that doesn't cost much money. I know chase up the estate agents.......
All the best honey and give us a shout if we can help. (Think I'm now an expert on Mothers in Law if that helps)

lisaroo

she's the good books at the mo,babysat last night, hence the hangover, but yeah the good thing about us is we never really worry too much at what other people think, and if we had we wouldnt have gone in the first place, my bro will never understand because he doesnt have the go getter approach, he plays the safe card everytime!!! which is fine for him but not for us im afraid, i think we may have told him too soon! but its hard when people are making plans for future and your in them plans, but we know we wont be here, so best out in open really!!!! just got to tell my lovely grandparents now but i think that ne can wait!!!

Babsw

you sound in same position as us, we are just waiting for visa and would love to go now but our eldest son is finishing first year of A levels. We were also in Adelaide but struggled there for a number of reasons and are hoping to go to brisbane this time.

Betty Boot

Hi Melaniee great to hear someone so positive about ping ponging! Can I ask how long were you in Perth and how long back in the UK? We were in Perth for 6 years and i was the homesick one, been back in the UK for 2 years now and I am the one who wants to go back, thankfully hubby will return in a flash I am unsure whether or not to go back to perth, hubby would like to try Brisbane, i dont know if i should go back to what i know and therefore have ready made friends, know how to get around, good/bad areas, etc or try something different because i think a lot of my homesickness was related to the fact i was getting bored with Perth I havent been to the East coast and would love to give it a try just fear of the unknown, will i want to return to UK again - i cant put all my family through that again - apart from the fact my mum will be heartbroken, I have to think about uprooting the kids all the time

Sorry for rambling, just interested in how you come about deciding to return and where to return to

bluekipper

The reason I dont wanna go back to Adelaide was the work problems, we found it tough to get work there, so we know a few ppl in Perth and they love it there (I know everyones diff) so we will try there, when we get a chance to go! Have visa`s so no probs there!

When were you in Adelaide & what didnt you like about the place?

bluekipper

melaniee

Hi there,

We were in Perth for just 10 months the first time and I am sure the reason we stayed for that long was to get the dog sorted out ! We were back in the UK for 8 months but after 4-5 months my husband said he wanted to go back to Australia-I could not believe it ! But eventually I realised the same thing. We came back with a very positive attitude and threw ourselves back into everything. We were very negative when we were in Australia before and it would not have worked had we stayed-we needed to get out of that environment.
Now after nearly 3 years back in Perth we too decided to try the East Coast. Not because we don't like Perth-We love Perth. I put part of it down to the ping-ponging and not settling again. But we wanted to see what it was like to live on the East Coast. Early days yet, when we think of home, we think of Perth. Who knows at this stage where we will finally settle !
Good luck with it all and be positive.

bluekipper

I agree with you melaniee,, if we had stayed I would still be miserable,pining for home in the UK, what we left behind etc,, I had`nt let go, and thats why I struggled so much I coul not stop thinking about my old life, instead of living my life for each day!madness. So when we return it will be like yourself, with a very positive attitude this time,looking for the future not the past< maybe living even for the day, even better!

good luck to you also

bluekipper

Babsw

Nov.2005 to july 2006( I feel terrible coz it wasn't long but long enough when you know its not right). Main reason was work for my OH,he's a contracts manager and struggled to get anything in that line and i was supposed to be transferring from uni in UK to Flinders to complete teaching degree but when we got there they would only credit me with 6 months and not 2 yrs as said in emails and we were on SIR so i had $40k to find in costs( not an option!!!)for extra 3and half years.
We found adelaide very quiet and not what we imagined Australia to be like, it is lovely and i'm not going to have a go at it but it was too small town for us and we couldn't see any future for our sons and we were tied there for 4 yrs coz of visa( after we came back the rules changed!!!!).
OH never settled and in the end we decided to cut losses and return and try for different visa( we were wrongly advised to go for SIR in first place)so here we are.Like you have contacts in perth,we have contacts in brisbane( distant cousins of mine), they tried to help with work etc when we were in Adelaide but just too far so we're going that direction plus we think from research we have better idea of where we are going etc, in one way it is easier 2nd time ariound coz you do know what aus. is like. I wish you all best for when you do get back and everyone else , it is a comfort to know we are all in same mind frame!!!

Babsw

Something just crossed my mind when i was reading every one's thoughts about the grief they are getting from their families- am I the only one who thinks these families are being selfish? Surely they should be saying 'I'm sorry you are going,will miss you etc but if you think you can give your family a better life then grab the chance!'
i know when my kids get to that age i want them to go for anything and know that i won't be there tying them down and ruining their lives.The same with my brothers/sisters/in laws etc.i'd be thinking 'good on you and go for it'.

hey,maybe i'm just not that close to my family?

AliJ

Hi there, only just had time to reply to this thread as I've been trying to keep the children entertained during the (wet) school holidays - urgh!!! You sound very similar to me, we try to keep everyone else happy but ignore what WE really want. Maybe you could start dropping hints to your Mum, open up the discussion a bit now you can really compare both countries. I think my Mum and Dad can see how low I've been since coming back, I think they just want me to be happy.

I think it's good to prepare people, they can adjust, I have to have things out in the open! I keep telling myself it's only because the family love me they react so negatively BUT then if they love me they would stand by me. It's confusing. Good luck to you. You are living your life

Agreed. I love my children more than anything, our bond is strong, their hurt is my hurt. I can honestly say that I would support them in any decision they make, they might make mistakes but they know I love them.

What I'm trying to say is it doesn't mean you don't love them if you let them go, surely you love them more by letting them go.

Cheetah7

Do you think you will move back to the UK this time or try and stick it out in Perth?

Ive only been in Perth for 3 weeks but to my husband and myself, the old fashioned trading hours are suiting us well.

My husband said to me yesterday he is enjoying the feeling of not having to work on a Public holiday. In London he would have worked over Easter and his phone would have been ringing constantly.

It reminds me of England many years ago when Sundays were 'family' days - I quite like it.

We are moving into our rental today and Im shocked at how stressed I feel, all the memories of moving here nearly 4 weeks ago are coming back.

I shall be glad when we are settled - hopefully tomorrow They do say moving house is the second most stressful thing you can do.

ukecadet

Do they still have the petrol station's on roster? We were always getting caught out on that.