OZrisky

I have posted a couple of times before...basically moved from Leeds to Sydney in 2009.....moved with a great job and got promoted thrice in the last 4 years....built a house....sold the house.....bought another house that feels like Paradise....but inspite of all this...feel very lonely....no matter how hard we try and be nice to people....all sorts and backgrounds.....u just dont feel it is reciprocated.....not even by a decent invite to the so called popular Aussie BBQ.......still love the place....people are generally nice...but only to an extent of 'Hi and Bye'... i think it is hard to re-build friendships that were developed over years and years of hard work....now citizens and here to stay...hopefully things will get better.

blondiefee

Hang in there matie - if it's what you want, you just gotta keep putting yourself out there and trying.... eventually you will build up a network of friends - be positive..

BadgeIsBack

Sorry to hear that.
Are you in the burbs? Are you where it is 'all happening'?
We don't get invited to many BBQs - they are not the be all and end all.
Most people around here have people for dinner!

Bermudashorts

I have only been invited to a barbie once, and I couldn't make it.

NickyC

I haven't been to a barbie for around 20 years. We haven't owned one since the last one died of rust around the same time.

They're not as common or popular as some people would have you believe - not amongst the people I know, anyway. We just do lunches, cooked in the kitchen, instead.

With All Due Respect...

The social side was a big thing with my and my now ex's discontent over in Oz. Good friendships are very hard to...well, replace isn't even the right word, is it?

Where we differed was in what we were prepared to do to make those friendships. Neither of us wanted to move to the other side of the World only to associate with other Brits, but where as she'd completely and utterly discount the idea of looking at expat groups, forums, or meet-ups, I think it would have made our transition a hell of a lot easier at the time.

Hey, don't take advice from me - it went pear shaped for us! Just saying that I'd do things differently next time (or should I say this time coming soon).

Good friends will come in time. I personally (now) think that when you emigrate you are likely to find such friendships more amongst the expat community as there is a common base and, most likely, a similar wish for closer friendships with all concerned.

Chin up. You'll be reet! :-)

quoll

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I left Aus with fewer friends than could be counted on one hand after 32 years. Plenty of acquaintances but no real friends and no invitations to barbies for many years (no barbies at all really unless my UK based son visited and chose to get the Weber Q out of mothballs.) I've had more barbies and social get togethers in the last 18 months here in UK than the previous 20 yrs in Aus! You just learn to be self sufficient!

jackieh23

Had the same experience just moving from State to State - in fact, I can hear my OH when reading your post....You're not him are you? LOL

BTW have YOU had many people around for a Barbie? Or just a drink?

Where are you located BTW?

OZrisky

WE are in the Northwest of Sydney....make regular attempts to be extremely nice to locals by inviting them over etc. ...but am slowly losing interest and motivation to go on when u know it is/ might never get reciprocated.

brissybee

Don't know if the OP is still around, but the solution might be to throw a BBQ gathering yourself (when the weather improves.)

That said, I agree with those who say BBQ's are not as often held as the Aussie stereotype might suggest.

I also agree with those who say long-standing friendships are hard to find. I'm still in touch with a friend from second grade in the UK but have completely lost touch with my "mates" from Uni in Australia.

carolinephillips

In 5 years (almost) we have gone to only 2 barbies. We tend to go to the occasional dinner or to a friend's beach house for the day. We have the neighbours round for special occasions and take turns to do the New Year drinks and nibbles. Half our friends and neighbours are Aussies, the others are all expats - though not necessarily British. One Aussie friend invited us over for Boxing day shortly after dad had died, so that was kind of them. They are all coming to OH's 50th in a couple of weeks - apart from two who will be at the rugby!!

BadgeIsBack

The NW of Sydney is not that great.

it's definitely not normal, but it might be normal for those marginalised for any reason.

Bbqs are in some ways a bit bogan, in terms of huge numbers partying.
what does happen though is that people cook food on a bbq and take it inside and then the format is like any other gathering....

Topaz444

We are in NW Sydney, mind you we have been in OZ over 28 years now, we do have a number of friends but the ones we see the most would be the ones from back home, in fact we have a regular girl meet up for coffee on Friday afternoons and we are all from home, lol, we have just added another one to our group, she has only been in Oz a few months. Where abouts are you Ozrisky ?
Anne

poppyandpeanut

have to say that this is just not the issue in rural WA. We find the people welcomed us with open arms. we are always out and about and never fail to find ourselves invited to social occasions, i guess different areas offer different oppertunities

Briar

I think if you are settling into rural Australia, it is easier to assimilate into society than if you are in a city/suburban location in some ways. Also I think a lot is dependent on how you portray yourself and your own efforts at socialising. Those who are introvert and expect everyone to come to them often find it much harder than those who are extrovert and approach everyone with the hand of friendship and openness. Just a personal view. I came to family so had an introduction, as it were, into some form of friendships. However it does take a while to build up the friend networks in a new country that were taken for granted in a previous life.