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Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Old Aug 29th 2007, 11:39 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

We are so feeling what you're going through. We have started out OK, salary a pittance, OH shifts mean working all nights, no time with us at home. My eldest son and daughter 14 & 12, hate it here. They had the initial euphoria of fantastic, weather, beaches, school being cool, great sports facilities.....but the reality of missing their friends has ripped them apart. My son was also a legend in his school, he seemed to be the glue that held the year together, always smiling, joking....a real personality...it broke my heart seeing him say goodbye, but he was so positive and up for the challenge.

He now comes home from school, he's sick of people asking him to say stupid stuff in an english accent, he's doing year 7 work in class (would be UK yr 10), he's out every day at the skate park, has made "friends", but he misses the history he has with friends back home. He is becoming a bit of a legend here too, and his personality does shine through, he never whinges, but for the first time in his 14 years..he has had enough, he wants to go "home". I feel physically sick, when I see him so torn apart. We are sending him home to live with his Grandmother, and return to his old school to take his GCSE's.

I sit alone every night, with the other 3 kids, asking myself why we have travelled to the other side of the world, to have no free time together whatsoever....we are now considering a move to Tassie (from sunshine Coast) to buy a smallholding in the middle of nowhere, home educate the children...and try out our dream of the Good Life!! It will be a very basic existance, but we'll all be together...and if we do ever go back....I will know I've had the guts to follow my dream and give it a go!

Sending you , its so hard to know what to do with these little peoples lives in our hands. I hope you find your way, just know you are not alone.

Melx
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Old Aug 30th 2007, 2:37 am
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Smile Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by jilla411
My son is also 15 and we arrived in Mackay at the end of May so have been here 3 months,he too his going through the same things.Back home he was never in he,d come home from school do his homework and he,d be out with his mates who were a good bunch of lads,he was in the local footy team ,did bmx riding and had a great social life.Over here is stays in all the time,does no sports.Occassionally going to a party the odd weekend.I feel as though i have ruined his life and it,s tearing me apart.I,m considering sending him home to start back at school and following when things are sorted over here.Good luck with your son, i know how you feel and how hard it is.
Hi,

Believe me it does get better.Just give it time.we arrived in jan with a previously very social,happy 12 y old boy who was very anti being here,stroppy,silent etc He had lots of friends in Uk ,a busy life and was very happy. he has maintained links with many of the old friends and has now made a huge group of new friends but it did take time.You cannot arrive and expect to have a ready made group of friends ,a fab social life and a long shared history.It takes time-for all of us.
Ask your son to join everything and anything in a bid to get to know people-he can drop what he wants to later on.he will settle in and make friends but you have to give it a chance and time.
My boy is now 13 and tho` everything looks good on surface(ok at sch. joined lots of activities,v. busy ,good mix of friends .....) sometimes he has a major meltdown where he shouts swears or goes silent(worse) says he hates us for ruining his life ,hates everything about Oz,wants to go home,back to his real life etc.This is a worry for us all esp younger siblings who are settling a little better.I think the youngerthe child the easier itis to do ythis move as they have not estatblished such tyies.
we are here as my OH is an Aussie and having lived many places together he decided to come back here .I`m happy to try anything new but Oz was the last place on earth i ever thought we`d live.Gee it is practically the last place on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our boy had been here for hols,had oooodles of Aussie rellies visit us and had strong Ozlinks throughout his short life, so it is a shock to us that he has these bad feelings .Also with adolescents how much of the unhappiness etc is hormonal?if you were home would he have problems but due to something else?I do wonder sometimes.
In all ,give your boy lots of hugs and reassurance that things will improve.

Now i`m going to send same meassage to poster below!
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Old Aug 30th 2007, 2:42 am
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Smile Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Munchmel
We are so feeling what you're going through. We have started out OK, salary a pittance, OH shifts mean working all nights, no time with us at home. My eldest son and daughter 14 & 12, hate it here. They had the initial euphoria of fantastic, weather, beaches, school being cool, great sports facilities.....but the reality of missing their friends has ripped them apart. My son was also a legend in his school, he seemed to be the glue that held the year together, always smiling, joking....a real personality...it broke my heart seeing him say goodbye, but he was so positive and up for the challenge.

He now comes home from school, he's sick of people asking him to say stupid stuff in an english accent, he's doing year 7 work in class (would be UK yr 10), he's out every day at the skate park, has made "friends", but he misses the history he has with friends back home. He is becoming a bit of a legend here too, and his personality does shine through, he never whinges, but for the first time in his 14 years..he has had enough, he wants to go "home". I feel physically sick, when I see him so torn apart. We are sending him home to live with his Grandmother, and return to his old school to take his GCSE's.

I sit alone every night, with the other 3 kids, asking myself why we have travelled to the other side of the world, to have no free time together whatsoever....we are now considering a move to Tassie (from sunshine Coast) to buy a smallholding in the middle of nowhere, home educate the children...and try out our dream of the Good Life!! It will be a very basic existance, but we'll all be together...and if we do ever go back....I will know I've had the guts to follow my dream and give it a go!

Sending you , its so hard to know what to do with these little peoples lives in our hands. I hope you find your way, just know you are not alone.

Melx
Hi,Not sure how to send a double message so much of this is the same as message above.I know exactly how guilty you feel and possibly the children do too.Bottom line you are giving them an opprtunity to try something different and not many people have such an opportunity.Try to focus on that rather than the guilt.I`m a fine one to say that as i feel incredibly guilty for having removed my 3 from their family and very happy life in UK.Howver,i feel an oppportunity to try something new is not to be missed.

Believe me it does get better.Just give it time.we arrived in jan with a previously very social,happy 12 y old boy who was very anti being here,stroppy,silent etc He had lots of friends in Uk ,a busy life and was very happy. he has maintained links with many of the old friends and has now made a huge group of new friends but it did take time.You cannot arrive and expect to have a ready made group of friends ,a fab social life and a long shared history.It takes time-for all of us.
Ask your children to join everything and anything in a bid to get to know people-they can drop some stuff later on.They will settle in and make friends but you have to give it a chance and time.
My boy is now 13 and tho` everything looks good on surface(ok at sch. joined lots of activities,v. busy ,good mix of friends .....) sometimes he has a major meltdown where he shouts swears or goes silent(worse) says he hates us for ruining his life ,hates everything about Oz,wants to go home,back to his real life etc.This is a worry for us all esp younger siblings who are settling a little better.I think the youngerthe child the easier itis to do ythis move as they have not estatblished such tyies.
we are here as my OH is an Aussie and having lived many places together he decided to come back here .I`m happy to try anything new but Oz was the last place on earth i ever thought we`d live.Gee it is practically the last place on earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our boy had been here for hols,had oooodles of Aussie rellies visit us and had strong Ozlinks throughout his short life, so it is a shock to us that he has these bad feelings .Also with adolescents how much of the unhappiness etc is hormonal?if you were home would he have problems but due to something else?I do wonder sometimes.
In all ,give your children lots of hugs and reassurance that things will improve.
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Old Sep 1st 2007, 1:43 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Thebigh
We did look into the medicare and reciprocal arrangements with the NHS, this only applies if you are still a resident of the uk and so long as you are not out of the country for more than 3 months. see the article below.

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles...ArticleId=1963

there are a number of visitors health insurance packages you can of course take out, the price varies as does the cover but for a family package it works out about $3700 per year.

Once you are a permanent resident you can then transfer into the medicare scheme but under a business visa class 163 you are temporary for up to 4 years
Hi, sorry to butt in, but we're on a 4 year sponsorship visa and we get Medicare...even though we don't get the full amount back, it all helps!!
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Old Oct 5th 2007, 1:17 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by s-jmelbournewannabe
Aw mate, that's awful. I too was going to suggest an expat meet. There you will strike up a friendship with a family of like mindedness... Could make it that little bit easier for you...

((hugs)) but i think you've done what's right for your family as a whole, inc. future generations...

S-j xxx You only live once, but i really think it's just the time thing... You're homesick i think.. xx xx Good luck xx
yeah ....same as this post for me...except for the kissess and stuff at the end!! ...just a slap on the back....
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Old Oct 6th 2007, 6:55 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Munchmel
We are so feeling what you're going through. We have started out OK, salary a pittance, OH shifts mean working all nights, no time with us at home. My eldest son and daughter 14 & 12, hate it here. They had the initial euphoria of fantastic, weather, beaches, school being cool, great sports facilities.....but the reality of missing their friends has ripped them apart. My son was also a legend in his school, he seemed to be the glue that held the year together, always smiling, joking....a real personality...it broke my heart seeing him say goodbye, but he was so positive and up for the challenge.

He now comes home from school, he's sick of people asking him to say stupid stuff in an english accent, he's doing year 7 work in class (would be UK yr 10), he's out every day at the skate park, has made "friends", but he misses the history he has with friends back home. He is becoming a bit of a legend here too, and his personality does shine through, he never whinges, but for the first time in his 14 years..he has had enough, he wants to go "home". I feel physically sick, when I see him so torn apart. We are sending him home to live with his Grandmother, and return to his old school to take his GCSE's.

I sit alone every night, with the other 3 kids, asking myself why we have travelled to the other side of the world, to have no free time together whatsoever....we are now considering a move to Tassie (from sunshine Coast) to buy a smallholding in the middle of nowhere, home educate the children...and try out our dream of the Good Life!! It will be a very basic existance, but we'll all be together...and if we do ever go back....I will know I've had the guts to follow my dream and give it a go!

Sending you , its so hard to know what to do with these little peoples lives in our hands. I hope you find your way, just know you are not alone.

Melx
What exactly are you chasing? A smallholding in Tassie to be together - but without your eldest son? sorry but you must be totally deluded, barmy or both, if I were you I'd give up, go 'home' and put it down to experience.
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 10:00 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by sdunx
What exactly are you chasing? A smallholding in Tassie to be together - but without your eldest son? sorry but you must be totally deluded, barmy or both, if I were you I'd give up, go 'home' and put it down to experience.
she's gone home:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...59#post5360259
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 10:24 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by rabsody
Just as well really, load of rainbow chasing nonsense I'm afraid, all rose tinted glasses obscuring any comprehension of reality. How's life with you?
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 10:52 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by sdunx
Just as well really, load of rainbow chasing nonsense I'm afraid, all rose tinted glasses obscuring any comprehension of reality. How's life with you?
Not too bad thanks. I'm at uni now so it's given me something other than homesickness to think about! Hoping to go back once degree's finished if possible. You? Weren't you going back to Blighty sometime soon?
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Old Oct 8th 2007, 7:09 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by rabsody
Not too bad thanks. I'm at uni now so it's given me something other than homesickness to think about! Hoping to go back once degree's finished if possible. You? Weren't you going back to Blighty sometime soon?
I've just got back from my third UK trip since May, I work for an Aussie manufacturer and am currently launching our products in Europe via setting up an office in UK, I'm going back next April for at least a couple of years to run the business. My next trip is week on saturday for 3 weeks which I'm looking forward to, get all over the country (plus Ireland and Scotland) also got visits planned to Germany and Turkey. Which Uni are you at and what are you studying?
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Old Oct 9th 2007, 12:37 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by sdunx
I've just got back from my third UK trip since May, I work for an Aussie manufacturer and am currently launching our products in Europe via setting up an office in UK, I'm going back next April for at least a couple of years to run the business. My next trip is week on saturday for 3 weeks which I'm looking forward to, get all over the country (plus Ireland and Scotland) also got visits planned to Germany and Turkey. Which Uni are you at and what are you studying?
Wow you lucky bugger! Sounds like you get the best of all worlds! What's the product you're launching? I'm studying journalism at University of Queensland, which I'm really enjoying Hard to get your head into the studying mindset again - assignments arrrgghhh! - after a looongg break tho!
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Old Oct 10th 2007, 6:35 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by rabsody
Wow you lucky bugger! Sounds like you get the best of all worlds! What's the product you're launching? I'm studying journalism at University of Queensland, which I'm really enjoying Hard to get your head into the studying mindset again - assignments arrrgghhh! - after a looongg break tho!
Uni keeping you well occupied then, good to have something to focus on, my brother did a degree in Australia after being a total waster in UK (drugs etc) so this appears to be an excellent place to focus and achieve in education (fewer distractions!!).

We manufacture specialist equipment for controlling pumping in the water industry, I'm ex South West Water, UK so am very familiar with the market and applications. Things going really well and got trials going in next month with Southern Water and probably Wessex Water. I'm bloody knackered as had a hectic year, it's good though as love the chance to travel around UK etc. at someone else's expense!! Whereabouts in Bris are you?
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Old Oct 10th 2007, 2:19 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Fantastic ! Nice one Mandy-good luck with it all. Am sure you won't regret it at all-we love being back



Originally Posted by Scrawni 2
It is hard isn't it? We have been back in the uk now for just over 2 years and have decided to try again. I now wish we had stayed and tried hard to find ways of dealing with our problems. It's tough if the kids arn't settled but it's still early days and get them out and about, joining clubs etc. Go along to the expats meet ups, you will meet some like minded people who understand.

The reasons why we left in the first place are still here, things haven't changed. Get the family out and about and have some fun, try not to ponder too much, hard I know.

Don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling cause it's natural and usually affects most of us expats at some stage.

Sending you lots of Karma.

Mandy
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Old Nov 16th 2007, 5:16 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Celtic Roses
Hi from Ireland, great honest post and am sure familiar to loads of people over your side who have moved lock stock and barrel to the other side of the world. Funnily enough it is always the positive ones who suffer most, I think the ones who fight against going have negative expectations and things can only go up from there. As you said your son was a popular guy in the UK and you can't expect to build a whole social circle in 10 weeks, if he was outgoing and popular there he soon will be again. Try and get him involved in clubs etc that he would be interested in with kids his own age. Once the kids are happy there you will find it easier to resume your own life. We moved to this part of Ireland after living in UK for 11 years and I knew nobody. It took me 18 months to make proper friends, acquaintances can be made in 10 mins but it takes a while to figure out who you want to continue seeing and who you want to shed, and yes we are off again to a new life in OZ and I know it will be hard for a couple of years but think back to why you wanted to go there, those reasons are still valid and appropriate to your family. Take one month at a time and set yourself goals for each month and try and meet as many people as you can each month. Some you will not gel with and others may become lifelong friends. Good luck and I know you will have lots of replies from people who have been where you are and will be able to advise you better.
Hi Just read this thread, what part of australia are you in / heading to?
I know how difficult it can be to start again more than once, having left dublin and moved to essex for 13+years and now in brisbane for the last 2, would be good to chat
Val
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Old Nov 16th 2007, 5:31 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by maria and dom
Hi
We Moved to Melbourne Last Jan from Ireland and i have to say i sympathize with a lot of what you are saying .My OH got a job straight away but and Iam waiting for the kids to settle before i start looking but I'm still waiting , Its a lot different and overall a huge change. We again moved from a very nice house in Ireland and were very comfortably off. But here our lifestyle has taken a nose dive , my OH wages are gone before you could say Jack Sprat and the house we are living in Glen Waverley is freezing cold and to small but we took it because we wanted to get somewhere to live as we were paying $1000 aweek for holiday accomodation . The weather is crap
and although I don't miss home I'm wondering why I came.
I have met some great people here mostly Indian immigrants and srilankan
and I had 2 friends here from Ireland already. Itend to make friends with immigrants and I hear there are a lot of english immigrants in brisbane. We are so cold in Melbourne that we are actually thinking of mooving to brisbane.
I would say hang on in there and it will be a challange for your son he'll get there , what about changing schools both my friends changed their childrens schools one was being bullied and the other not being challenged enough academically.
good luck
maria and dom(frozen in melbourne)
Hi where are you guys now?
Val
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