jimjus

hi i no how hard it is we moved here from surrey , we had a nice life there , lots of good friends. i have two sons aged12&15. its my 15 year old that i also the problems with. he was the one that was up for coming and my 12 yr old was dead against it he made so much fuss. well 4 months on my 12 yr old is fine and loving it but my 15 yr old is having a hard time . he also had lots of friends, especially the girls , he misses the closeness of the girls . iv also thought of sending him home to carry on school in the uk, but have not said it to him. the longer your here you get used to life here. his friends here are very nice but just different. the guilt his put me through is heart breaking.
but i think they will both get over it you just need to push them to meet people and join clubs thats the best way. we have also arranged for 3 of his friends to come over in jan08 so fingers crossed with time he will settle down . just keep him busy. msm dosent help because they feel like they are missing out so much . anyway good luck your not alone

Possie1

Looking forward to meeting you and your family at the Brisbane British Club Meetup on 12 August.

Gordon & Paula

Margaret3

Hey neighbour
we've just moved from scotland to cold glen waverley,

sunbather

Whereabouts in Surrey did you come from, and where are you now?

Your story sounds very similar to mine.

jimjus

hia we were in epsom near nonsuch park. weve been here since april, we are in oxenford near wet and wild gold coast. we are renting at the moment but having a house built.

Andy & Carla

Thanks for your honest post - although there's just the two of us, we do keep asking ourselves why are we doing this (been here 6 weeks) as I miss my friends. I'm about to go for a walk on the beach - that often makes me feel better (although I have been known to end up in tears with, "they're all so far away" thoughts as I gaze out to sea!)

I just wanted to say something about Medicare. We came on a 12 month working holiday visa (and was away from the UK for 2 years) and got the reciprocal agreement. We are now on the 3 year SIR 495 provisional crap- but-at-least-it's-a-visa visa which means we're not entitled to Medicare BUT we ARE entitled to the reciprocal agreement which covers all necessary treatment. Would seriously suggest looking into that again...

In the meantime, good luck! And know that you are not alone in how you feel,

C x

midlife crisis

Hi Guys

We are out here on a temporary buisness visa class 163 and we have medicare cards. Just go to the Medicare office and show them your visa and they will issue you all with cards. The cards do say recriprical on them but it hasn't caused us a problem.
We have been here for 20 months now and have used them so many times. In fact our son had an emergency appendix operation and it didn't cost a thing.

Mind you I have just discovered about the University fees. What a shocker that is !! I just hope we get our residency before he has to start..

Bobcat

Believe me it does and it will get much better for you......... please stick at it and don't throw in the towel.

We struggled like hell when we came to Perth as a family in 1990. Hardly knew anyone, couldn't find work, we ran around in an old banger that was falling to bits........... and we spoke with a funny accent which didn't go down too well with the Aussies....... who were of the opinion we only bathed once a week and were allergic to soap?

We soon got friendly with our 3 lad's schoolmates parents, enrolled our lads in Taewkwondo classes......... met more parents there. I became secretary of Wanneroo Junior Soccer Club.......... more social gatherings ......... more friends met etc etc. Get your kids enrolled in sports and they will soon mix in.

I could only find about 3 months of temporary s*&t work during our first 4 years. That was soul destroying and most depressing. I found a good job eventually thanks to someone i had previously worked with in Papua New Guinea ................... and from then on everything was on the up and up.

Granted it was a real struggle at first........... but we got there through sheer hard work coupled with a bit of British grit and determination.

Please........... stick at it; you will get there.......... just give it your best shot and put up with the hard times.............. they will only be temporary!

rkh001

Same here Andy & Carla. Second time round for us but we have to sit it through. For 4 yrs we were in the UK, after validating our visa, all we thought about was coming back to Oz. Now we are here, I am thinking, "why have we done this again? Why have we decided to put ourselves through this pain again?" The answer is that if we didn't, we would always wonder.

The good thing about most people with families is that they can enrol their children at school and start meeting other parents. I recognise that families also feel the same as we (couples, no children) do but forming networks for them is a bit easier than people without children. Before anyone slates me, please note that I am not marginalising your feelings in any way. To some degree everyone leaving family, friends and familiarity behind feels the same way. It is incredibly hard to start a new life, let alone be thousands of miles away.

To everyone going through all the pain, guilty feelings etc., just hang in there. In due course it would get better but if you still end up going back to the UK, at least you will have given it your best shot in Oz and you will be better placed to move on with your lives in the UK. Good luck to everyone.

Jin

Stitch

That was kinda bordering on the inspirational. We have been in Brisbane just over a year now and although it's not all that bad it has been tougher than I thought. We are seriously thinking about moving to Townsville as we would have a better chance of getting our own home etc. I think deep down I know we should stick it out but sometimes when I think about the UK our struggle was a lot, lot less.

Cheers

Ginny

caleb2003

About the Aussies, the 'beer' culture is way ott for my liking, its like they're being dumbed down just like the Aboriginis supposedly are with grog, although they dont seem to realise it (even the moronic ads on TV are for dumbos, with people shouting and screeching to buy bloody rugs every 2 minutes!).

My wife goes to the toddlers group and all the english women there all agree its hard getting a decent conversation out of your average Sunshine Coast Aussie, never mind crack a good joke but we know a few that originate from Sydney and they seem ok.

Incidentally most of these women at the toddlers groups seem to want back to UK and dont view here as a place they'll stay, dunno why.

I'm personally not bothered about it all and will stay wherever but i've been here less time than you so not in a position to advise except to say that we will go to Sydney or Melbourne if we didnt settle here as that should bring a more 'cosmopolitan' lifestyle.

mrsridge

perhaps you could get your son into a bike club maybe try http://www.mtbdirt.com.au/

Wilgar

Things do get better Thebigh,just give it more time.I know its awful when your children are unhappy and you think`What have we done ?` but they will all settle eventually.One of our sons had a terrible start,hated everything, was not eating,loss of confidence,loss of care over his appearance etc and we were so worried over it .However 6 months on he is settling in and making friends.Have to say he is not the child he was tho`-but maybe he would have changed at some point anyway.Its difficult when you compare to the life you have left.We try not to as the children just want to go home again ,but we are sure as we settle more these feelings will change.
As people above have suggested ,an Ex-pat meet can be a huge help as you are meeting people who have done exactly what you have just done,therefore they will understand the emotions you are all going thro`.With the best will in the world this cannot be understood by someone who has not packed up a life ,twistedit around and set up somewhere else.Also join as many local groups as you can ,get involved with the schools and gradually as you get to meet people lifewill become more`normal`.
Good Luck.

Vash the Stampede

Ah, didn't realise that.

Being an Aussie myself, I guess I just taken it for granted.

debdraper

Hi there, me and my family moved here in April, and I'm going through exactly the same problem. I have a son 9 and a daughter 11. She is desparate to go home. We've made it quite clear she can't and she appears to be trying to make a bit of an effort. The rest of us are settling ok but I won't be happy until she is. Every day she comes home from school I hope she's been invited to a sleep over or made a new friend. She goes to school camp in September so I'm hoping she may get closer to the class then. We've met a family living in the next village through this site, and Chloe has enjoyed chatting to their daughter who is the same age. Will be nice to see you at meeting on 12th, see how you're getting on, and stick in there. You hear of so many people doing the going back and then coming back again thing! Dont be one of them. On the work front, my husband Chris had his own business in the UK and has found work in the same line, but on a pittance at the moment. Found it difficult to accept that he is a 'nobody' here as far as they are concerned, and has to prove his worth. We're living in Wellington Point on the Bayside by the way.