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Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Old Jul 16th 2007, 4:10 am
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Default Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

G.day boys and girls. My wife and I spent a lot of time reading the forums before planning our trip down under. We planned for years to make the move after my wife had spent 9 months on a working visa here, three holidays and research trips and I was sold the idea.

We sold it to our kids too...17, 15 and 13...we looked at our lives in the most beautiful part of the UK in Devon and said "its great in our large house looking over to Dartmoor but how are our kids going to afford a house here, get a worthwhile paid job that gives them satisfaction in what they do without moving....".

There is not a great deal of well paid jobs in Devon, crime is on the up and I was struggling to find paid employment after running my own businesses for 15 years.

Did not t feel that I could afford to buy/create another business and risk losing what I had already got. With so many years of experience at managing business and people and no recent qualifications we thought "hey, life is short....lets do it...lets try for new life and opportunity down under where our money will spread a little further and our kids could experience a different life and hopefully have a better chance at the future. Oz is booming with jobs and opportunity.

Without permanent visas, we have 4 years to buy/make a business turn a profit and employment of Ozzies and apply for residency visas for those that have not looked at this before. As we have no permanent status, we have to pay for everything....no home in the uk...no nhs reciprocal arrangement no medicare as such.... we will have to pay for our daughters university fees...we get no family taxation benefits ?

We arrived her on the 16 April 2007 after a very long and expensive progression through the business visa 463 application, house unsold and loan in the bank to tied us over until the house was sold. We sold or gave away all the furniture that we had collected over the years, chucked all those accumulated nick naks. A bit of a gamble but the house is now under offer......


But hey, were still doing it...

So we are here....
Lets get on with it...get the kids into the best school we can find that matches my kids high UK academic achievements...

Rent a house....buy a car....get some second hand equipment like fridges etc.

Wife gets a low paid job eventually...me I can’t....I have to sign on with agencies for temp work until we can find a business and I have the money. Its not that easy....the work is poorly paid, its sporadic and although applying for s*** jobs.....they don't want to know. Yet I am honestly the most flexible and adaptable person going with a range of practical, physical and admin skills going ?? whinge..

Anyway..life goes on, its not a problem. The sun is shining every day whilst it tiddles down back in the UK. We have already done all the theme park stuff, we have walked on the glorious beaches...got lost in Mount mee state forest whilst 4wd ing, scary but fun..lesson learnt there.

Youngest daughter back doing horse riding lessons over here....loving it.

Eldest struggled at first with school because we came her at such an awkward time in her education and really did not want to come here in the first place when her mind was set on UK university. But, paid for lessons from a trainee teacher and she is back up to top of the class and she really loves it here.

My son (15)...the most positive one about coming here is the problem.....he has tried really hard to fit in, but can't. He was a bit of a legend back in school in the UK. He is a mature, well built lad with a great personality. Well into 'freeriding' downhill biking and always up for a challenge, had got a massive group of friends who still tell him how much they miss him.. He just can't make friends here at school, quite a few friends outside that he hangs with but misses his mates in the UK and now his self confidence is taking a knock. 10 weeks in and all he wants to do is go home...does not want to go too school and hates everthing about it.

As for the super friendly Ozzies, well we have struggled a bit too. We have family here...that helps but no one seems to do anything but work...drink beer till they fall over or indulge in rock n roll dancing at the geriatric clubs !!!
Talking to people at the various work places I have been at, they all seem to want to go to europe ???
When the Ozzies hear the english accent..and I can't help that...there seems to be a barrier that goes up. The most friendly people I have spoken to so far are the South African business people who have told me how hard it has been to get up and running....

Sorry guys......don't meen to be so negative but seeing my son go so disheartened and dejected to school is breaking my heart and I wonder what the hell we have done......does that make any sense to you guys.

Does it get better than this ? are we just going through a pain barrier.
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 10:56 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Hi from Ireland, great honest post and am sure familiar to loads of people over your side who have moved lock stock and barrel to the other side of the world. Funnily enough it is always the positive ones who suffer most, I think the ones who fight against going have negative expectations and things can only go up from there. As you said your son was a popular guy in the UK and you can't expect to build a whole social circle in 10 weeks, if he was outgoing and popular there he soon will be again. Try and get him involved in clubs etc that he would be interested in with kids his own age. Once the kids are happy there you will find it easier to resume your own life. We moved to this part of Ireland after living in UK for 11 years and I knew nobody. It took me 18 months to make proper friends, acquaintances can be made in 10 mins but it takes a while to figure out who you want to continue seeing and who you want to shed, and yes we are off again to a new life in OZ and I know it will be hard for a couple of years but think back to why you wanted to go there, those reasons are still valid and appropriate to your family. Take one month at a time and set yourself goals for each month and try and meet as many people as you can each month. Some you will not gel with and others may become lifelong friends. Good luck and I know you will have lots of replies from people who have been where you are and will be able to advise you better.
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 11:15 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

what a honest post


to you and yr family

take each day as it comes it will become months and then yrs.

you will all make friends etc it will just take time

good luck

hitchcock

ps you can allways come on be and have a moan there is always some one who been in yr shoes and come out the other end.
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 11:33 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Hi
We Moved to Melbourne Last Jan from Ireland and i have to say i sympathize with a lot of what you are saying .My OH got a job straight away but and Iam waiting for the kids to settle before i start looking but I'm still waiting , Its a lot different and overall a huge change. We again moved from a very nice house in Ireland and were very comfortably off. But here our lifestyle has taken a nose dive , my OH wages are gone before you could say Jack Sprat and the house we are living in Glen Waverley is freezing cold and to small but we took it because we wanted to get somewhere to live as we were paying $1000 aweek for holiday accomodation . The weather is crap
and although I don't miss home I'm wondering why I came.
I have met some great people here mostly Indian immigrants and srilankan
and I had 2 friends here from Ireland already. Itend to make friends with immigrants and I hear there are a lot of english immigrants in brisbane. We are so cold in Melbourne that we are actually thinking of mooving to brisbane.
I would say hang on in there and it will be a challange for your son he'll get there , what about changing schools both my friends changed their childrens schools one was being bullied and the other not being challenged enough academically.
good luck
maria and dom(frozen in melbourne)
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 6:50 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

It is hard isn't it? We have been back in the uk now for just over 2 years and have decided to try again. I now wish we had stayed and tried hard to find ways of dealing with our problems. It's tough if the kids arn't settled but it's still early days and get them out and about, joining clubs etc. Go along to the expats meet ups, you will meet some like minded people who understand.

The reasons why we left in the first place are still here, things haven't changed. Get the family out and about and have some fun, try not to ponder too much, hard I know.

Don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling cause it's natural and usually affects most of us expats at some stage.

Sending you lots of Karma.

Mandy
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 11:37 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Thebigh View Post
G.day boys and girls. My wife and I spent a lot of time reading the forums before planning our trip down under. We planned for years to make the move after my wife had spent 9 months on a working visa here, three holidays and research trips and I was sold the idea.

We sold it to our kids too...17, 15 and 13...we looked at our lives in the most beautiful part of the UK in Devon and said "its great in our large house looking over to Dartmoor but how are our kids going to afford a house here, get a worthwhile paid job that gives them satisfaction in what they do without moving....".

There is not a great deal of well paid jobs in Devon, crime is on the up and I was struggling to find paid employment after running my own businesses for 15 years.

Did not t feel that I could afford to buy/create another business and risk losing what I had already got. With so many years of experience at managing business and people and no recent qualifications we thought "hey, life is short....lets do it...lets try for new life and opportunity down under where our money will spread a little further and our kids could experience a different life and hopefully have a better chance at the future. Oz is booming with jobs and opportunity.

Without permanent visas, we have 4 years to buy/make a business turn a profit and employment of Ozzies and apply for residency visas for those that have not looked at this before. As we have no permanent status, we have to pay for everything....no home in the uk...no nhs reciprocal arrangement no medicare as such.... we will have to pay for our daughters university fees...we get no family taxation benefits ?

We arrived her on the 16 April 2007 after a very long and expensive progression through the business visa 463 application, house unsold and loan in the bank to tied us over until the house was sold. We sold or gave away all the furniture that we had collected over the years, chucked all those accumulated nick naks. A bit of a gamble but the house is now under offer......


But hey, were still doing it...

So we are here....
Lets get on with it...get the kids into the best school we can find that matches my kids high UK academic achievements...

Rent a house....buy a car....get some second hand equipment like fridges etc.

Wife gets a low paid job eventually...me I can’t....I have to sign on with agencies for temp work until we can find a business and I have the money. Its not that easy....the work is poorly paid, its sporadic and although applying for s*** jobs.....they don't want to know. Yet I am honestly the most flexible and adaptable person going with a range of practical, physical and admin skills going ?? whinge..

Anyway..life goes on, its not a problem. The sun is shining every day whilst it tiddles down back in the UK. We have already done all the theme park stuff, we have walked on the glorious beaches...got lost in Mount mee state forest whilst 4wd ing, scary but fun..lesson learnt there.

Youngest daughter back doing horse riding lessons over here....loving it.

Eldest struggled at first with school because we came her at such an awkward time in her education and really did not want to come here in the first place when her mind was set on UK university. But, paid for lessons from a trainee teacher and she is back up to top of the class and she really loves it here.

My son (15)...the most positive one about coming here is the problem.....he has tried really hard to fit in, but can't. He was a bit of a legend back in school in the UK. He is a mature, well built lad with a great personality. Well into 'freeriding' downhill biking and always up for a challenge, had got a massive group of friends who still tell him how much they miss him.. He just can't make friends here at school, quite a few friends outside that he hangs with but misses his mates in the UK and now his self confidence is taking a knock. 10 weeks in and all he wants to do is go home...does not want to go too school and hates everthing about it.

As for the super friendly Ozzies, well we have struggled a bit too. We have family here...that helps but no one seems to do anything but work...drink beer till they fall over or indulge in rock n roll dancing at the geriatric clubs !!!
Talking to people at the various work places I have been at, they all seem to want to go to europe ???
When the Ozzies hear the english accent..and I can't help that...there seems to be a barrier that goes up. The most friendly people I have spoken to so far are the South African business people who have told me how hard it has been to get up and running....

Sorry guys......don't meen to be so negative but seeing my son go so disheartened and dejected to school is breaking my heart and I wonder what the hell we have done......does that make any sense to you guys.

Does it get better than this ? are we just going through a pain barrier.
hi there,

you are still in early stages, give yourself more time to get settled, it can take a while. however, sometimes you do just come the realisation that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

why not come along to a brit expat meet up (the brisbane british club), next one is August 14th:

http://brit.meetup.com/246/?gj=sj3

and make some new friends, might make you feel a bit more settled.

all the best,
rab
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Old Jul 16th 2007, 11:55 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Celtic Roses View Post
Hi from Ireland, great honest post and am sure familiar to loads of people over your side who have moved lock stock and barrel to the other side of the world. Funnily enough it is always the positive ones who suffer most, I think the ones who fight against going have negative expectations and things can only go up from there. As you said your son was a popular guy in the UK and you can't expect to build a whole social circle in 10 weeks, if he was outgoing and popular there he soon will be again. Try and get him involved in clubs etc that he would be interested in with kids his own age. Once the kids are happy there you will find it easier to resume your own life. We moved to this part of Ireland after living in UK for 11 years and I knew nobody. It took me 18 months to make proper friends, acquaintances can be made in 10 mins but it takes a while to figure out who you want to continue seeing and who you want to shed, and yes we are off again to a new life in OZ and I know it will be hard for a couple of years but think back to why you wanted to go there, those reasons are still valid and appropriate to your family. Take one month at a time and set yourself goals for each month and try and meet as many people as you can each month. Some you will not gel with and others may become lifelong friends. Good luck and I know you will have lots of replies from people who have been where you are and will be able to advise you better.
What a wonderful heartfelt reply, I'm sure you are a great friend to many a person you meet, if there were more people like you offering a little shoulder of support ,the effort of emmigration would be a lot smoother. Paula
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Old Jul 17th 2007, 10:02 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by paulainspain View Post
What a wonderful heartfelt reply, I'm sure you are a great friend to many a person you meet, if there were more people like you offering a little shoulder of support ,the effort of emmigration would be a lot smoother. Paula
Oh thx Paula, I see both of us will be in Brisbane soon maybe we will end up near enough to be friends to each other, fingers crossed!!
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Old Jul 17th 2007, 10:06 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Hello Thebigh

Really sorry to hear what a tough time you are having.

We have been on the Sunshine Coast for just over a year and it has not always been easy. Leaving behind family, friends and established support networks is inevitably going to cause problems, but as previous posters have said, you just have to work through the issues and focus on what you wanted to achieve by coming here. Although we have had some tough days, overall we are having fun and have no regrets, but we now realise what a great life we had in the UK - perhaps we just didn't appreciate it - familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

We have 3 children (14, 11 and 7) and they have all had moments when they wanted to go back to the UK, but have worked through them and now seem to be happy both in and out of school. It has taken time for them to adapt to the culture in Oz schools (including a different emphasis on academic work), work out who they want to be friends with (particularly when the novelty of being new wears off), what activities they want to pursue etc. On top of that they are still in contact with their old friends and regret some of the things they hear about but are no longer involved in.

And that's just the kids. For us, we have had to deal with the ups and downs of the kids as well as our own doubts and concerns.

Moving to the other side of the world obviously has its challenges. We have tried to focus on why we came and we also make sure that we get out and do the things we dreamt about doing when we were back in the UK rather than getting too bogged down in the humdrum of everyday life.

I hope you find your way through this as a family - having come this far it certainly sounds like you can make it happen, if you that's what you really want.

All the best.

F5
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Old Jul 17th 2007, 1:16 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Scrawni 2 View Post
It is hard isn't it? We have been back in the uk now for just over 2 years and have decided to try again. I now wish we had stayed and tried hard to find ways of dealing with our problems. It's tough if the kids arn't settled but it's still early days and get them out and about, joining clubs etc. Go along to the expats meet ups, you will meet some like minded people who understand.

The reasons why we left in the first place are still here, things haven't changed. Get the family out and about and have some fun, try not to ponder too much, hard I know.

Don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling cause it's natural and usually affects most of us expats at some stage.

Sending you lots of Karma.

Mandy
Same for us Scrawnie - been back in UK for 2 years and just want to be back in Oz. Good luck to you and ur family in the future
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Old Jul 17th 2007, 6:50 pm
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Aw mate, that's awful. I too was going to suggest an expat meet. There you will strike up a friendship with a family of like mindedness... Could make it that little bit easier for you...

((hugs)) but i think you've done what's right for your family as a whole, inc. future generations...

S-j xxx You only live once, but i really think it's just the time thing... You're homesick i think.. xx xx Good luck xx
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Old Jul 18th 2007, 12:35 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Thanks for that guys, its nice to see there are so many thoughtful people out there...your comments have certainly lightened the load. We will definetly try to get to the expat meeting...it looks like it could open our eyes to suggestions. Spent two hours talking to my lad last night..he is still not happy of course but wants to stick it out for a few months more...if we could just get him past this friends / school work barrier . We also wondered if it would be worth sending him back to the UK to sort of bring it home to him what there is to offer out here. Its weird but you almost forget in such a short time what 'home' was like. Not that I ever disliked the UK, I had some good friends and loved the culture, the green lanes etc etc . We are all going to the Brisbane university/tafe expo on Sunday to try and get more info for my eldest, she is searching for the right course to do..(either maths/science based or vet school). Maybe that might help him see his future. For those going to the expat meeting I hope to see you there. beers on me
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Old Jul 18th 2007, 1:55 am
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Thebigh View Post
Thanks for that guys, its nice to see there are so many thoughtful people out there...your comments have certainly lightened the load. We will definetly try to get to the expat meeting...it looks like it could open our eyes to suggestions. Spent two hours talking to my lad last night..he is still not happy of course but wants to stick it out for a few months more...if we could just get him past this friends / school work barrier . We also wondered if it would be worth sending him back to the UK to sort of bring it home to him what there is to offer out here. Its weird but you almost forget in such a short time what 'home' was like. Not that I ever disliked the UK, I had some good friends and loved the culture, the green lanes etc etc . We are all going to the Brisbane university/tafe expo on Sunday to try and get more info for my eldest, she is searching for the right course to do..(either maths/science based or vet school). Maybe that might help him see his future. For those going to the expat meeting I hope to see you there. beers on me
Like Rabsody said - it's still very early days. I found I had to accept every invitation offered - I was the queen of attending Tupperware parties (never been to one in UK) and just kept getting my persistant little self in front of everyone. Eldest son was then 13 and found he made lots of mates when school went on camp, which, luckily for him was right at the beginning of the school year. I joined everything I could think of and even went to P&F meetings. Its pretty daunting as you tend to acquire friends throughout your life and suddenly you don't have any!

We busied ourselves with doing all the touristy stuff for a year I reckon before invites started becoming more regular. Kids birthday parties where you invite the parents to stay for a beer and barbie was another way we got to meet people. Bit by bit it will happen for you. Just keep at it.

I haven't had any problems with making Aussie friends although your novelty factor does tend to wear out quite quickly, but I love my Pommie friends I've met here as we have so much in common (not least the sense of humour).

Good luck and big hugs to you all- just keep on keeping on. (Get your 15yr old on here too, there's a forum for kids.)

Gilly
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Old Jul 18th 2007, 12:57 pm
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Smile Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

Originally Posted by Thebigh View Post
G.day boys and girls. My wife and I spent a lot of time reading the forums before planning our trip down under. We planned for years to make the move after my wife had spent 9 months on a working visa here, three holidays and research trips and I was sold the idea.

We sold it to our kids too...17, 15 and 13...we looked at our lives in the most beautiful part of the UK in Devon and said "its great in our large house looking over to Dartmoor but how are our kids going to afford a house here, get a worthwhile paid job that gives them satisfaction in what they do without moving....".

There is not a great deal of well paid jobs in Devon, crime is on the up and I was struggling to find paid employment after running my own businesses for 15 years.

Did not t feel that I could afford to buy/create another business and risk losing what I had already got. With so many years of experience at managing business and people and no recent qualifications we thought "hey, life is short....lets do it...lets try for new life and opportunity down under where our money will spread a little further and our kids could experience a different life and hopefully have a better chance at the future. Oz is booming with jobs and opportunity.

Without permanent visas, we have 4 years to buy/make a business turn a profit and employment of Ozzies and apply for residency visas for those that have not looked at this before. As we have no permanent status, we have to pay for everything....no home in the uk...no nhs reciprocal arrangement no medicare as such.... we will have to pay for our daughters university fees...we get no family taxation benefits ?

We arrived her on the 16 April 2007 after a very long and expensive progression through the business visa 463 application, house unsold and loan in the bank to tied us over until the house was sold. We sold or gave away all the furniture that we had collected over the years, chucked all those accumulated nick naks. A bit of a gamble but the house is now under offer......


But hey, were still doing it...

So we are here....
Lets get on with it...get the kids into the best school we can find that matches my kids high UK academic achievements...

Rent a house....buy a car....get some second hand equipment like fridges etc.

Wife gets a low paid job eventually...me I can’t....I have to sign on with agencies for temp work until we can find a business and I have the money. Its not that easy....the work is poorly paid, its sporadic and although applying for s*** jobs.....they don't want to know. Yet I am honestly the most flexible and adaptable person going with a range of practical, physical and admin skills going ?? whinge..

Anyway..life goes on, its not a problem. The sun is shining every day whilst it tiddles down back in the UK. We have already done all the theme park stuff, we have walked on the glorious beaches...got lost in Mount mee state forest whilst 4wd ing, scary but fun..lesson learnt there.

Youngest daughter back doing horse riding lessons over here....loving it.

Eldest struggled at first with school because we came her at such an awkward time in her education and really did not want to come here in the first place when her mind was set on UK university. But, paid for lessons from a trainee teacher and she is back up to top of the class and she really loves it here.

My son (15)...the most positive one about coming here is the problem.....he has tried really hard to fit in, but can't. He was a bit of a legend back in school in the UK. He is a mature, well built lad with a great personality. Well into 'freeriding' downhill biking and always up for a challenge, had got a massive group of friends who still tell him how much they miss him.. He just can't make friends here at school, quite a few friends outside that he hangs with but misses his mates in the UK and now his self confidence is taking a knock. 10 weeks in and all he wants to do is go home...does not want to go too school and hates everthing about it.

As for the super friendly Ozzies, well we have struggled a bit too. We have family here...that helps but no one seems to do anything but work...drink beer till they fall over or indulge in rock n roll dancing at the geriatric clubs !!!
Talking to people at the various work places I have been at, they all seem to want to go to europe ???
When the Ozzies hear the english accent..and I can't help that...there seems to be a barrier that goes up. The most friendly people I have spoken to so far are the South African business people who have told me how hard it has been to get up and running....

Sorry guys......don't meen to be so negative but seeing my son go so disheartened and dejected to school is breaking my heart and I wonder what the hell we have done......does that make any sense to you guys.

Does it get better than this ? are we just going through a pain barrier.
Great post; great attitude. I really hope things turn around for you.

Just a quick point:

no nhs reciprocal arrangement no medicare as such....
Australia does have a reciprocal arrangement with the UK, under which you are entitled to the following:
  • free treatment as a public in-patient or outpatient in a public hospital

  • subsidised medicines under the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme

  • Medicare benefits for out-of-hospital medical treatment provided by doctors through private surgeries and community health centres.

Source.

All you need to do is register with Medicare.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 12:37 am
  #15  
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Default Re: Harder than I thought 3 months on living in Brisbane

We did look into the medicare and reciprocal arrangements with the NHS, this only applies if you are still a resident of the uk and so long as you are not out of the country for more than 3 months. see the article below.

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles...ArticleId=1963

there are a number of visitors health insurance packages you can of course take out, the price varies as does the cover but for a family package it works out about $3700 per year.

Once you are a permanent resident you can then transfer into the medicare scheme but under a business visa class 163 you are temporary for up to 4 years
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