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The first few months of Oz for me!

The first few months of Oz for me!

Old Jun 14th 2007, 1:16 pm
  #1  
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Default The first few months of Oz for me!

Hello all that know me and all that don't. I used to post regularly on the forum but with all this emigrating milarky, I am afraid that I have not been posting much of late. I have promised my old chums an update and here it is. For those that don't know me I generally try to be funny on the forum and stay away from arguments...that's my online character anyway. In real life I am an average, fairly reserved Scottish person and what you are about to read is not about TFN numbers or dolphins!

A little bit of background
Firstly, I have no idea what brought me to Australia, it was no one thing just a wish to try something different. After years of different locations in the UK, building a career, meeting friends, getting drunk in different bars my OH and I decided to go on a reccie to Australia as his sister was here and having a really good time of it. The upshot of the reccie was that he loved it and I was unsure. We got married and after one too many bad summers and evenings avoiding bottle weilding chavs, we finally decided to put in our application. Fine, all well and good. I then changed jobs, got promoted, had a child, changed location, was pretty settled and then wouldn't you know it...the visa was granted.

After much to-ing and fro-ing, time of expats, research and meet-ups, we decided we were really going to go for it. After all, you are only as young as you are today and what have you got to lose? Many sad goodbyes later we were off to Melbourne.

Our first three months
The flight had a huge anti-climax, a real sense of the unreal....I suppose it is the adrenalin, last minute stress , last minute stress comedown and stress to come! Arriving to nothing after an organised life is one of life's big questioning dramas. Life on a blow up mattress on someone else's rental floor is quite a sobering reality....as is the moment where you realise that you don't know anywhere or anyone, have no concept of the size of most Australian cities, have no network of professional friends and your career to date is pretty much ignored.

We toured many truely crap rentals...if flock wallpaper and spiders webs and dead gardens are your thing...feel happy...you have finally arrived in paradise. Finally we found something in a good middle class suburb miles on the train line from the CBD. I found a job in my fairly specialised field in one week (through a vague contact) and my husband found a job a week later. We also found great child care a week later. We earn exactly what we earned in the UK, which by Australian standards is very good. We can afford to eat out often and are not scared to spend cash. Our lifestyle is fortunate and we know that we are very lucky compared to some equally deserving people on this forum who have not been afforded some of the luck that we have had. We go away most weekends and are lucky to live in very close proximity to some fabulous places even for a day break.

The reality of life so far
No matter how well we are doing, with many of the real life battles that other people are facing that we are not facing, I have felt a crushing sense of loss. I have felt intensely emotional and vulnerable. I have worried about all that has been and is in the past, the people I will not see again, the elderly relatives, the grandparents who will not see their grandchild nearly enough. It is an amazing blow to the ego to start a career 5 years back from where you left it. The language is English but the jargon is not the same. The journey to work 3 hours there and back is huge. It is colder than I thought it would be. I miss my child who spends longer in daycare than he ever did in Britain. My life is not as cushy as it was in the UK, it is certainly not as easy as it was in the UK. I miss the old me, I miss our old life, I am in short.... homesick. I feel a stranger in a strange land. A new person, a newbie, starting a new life at 36.

The challenge - if you choose to accept it - is?
The challenge is knowing if this a phase, whether pushing through it and establishing more roots is the right thing ie the permanent job, the home, the cars, the school or whether to run back to what is known while it is still there to reclaim. I don't know the answer. For us, it will be the press ahead regardless, things will get better approach. Everyone I have spoken with has said this is the most difficult year and I believe this to be classic homesickness. It certainly does not feel so 'certainly' bad that I am rushing to book a plane ticket home.

I hope this hasn't seemed to self indulgent. I just wanted to post a post that was not all doom and gloom nor 'yeh, our lives have magically been transformed' but somewhere in the middle. Australia has lived up to its promises so far, for us at least. This for me has been much more than a physical journey but a hugely emotional one and a very confusing one too. It might be for you.

I know that there are many posters out there who are concerned about some of these same issues and how they will cope and how they are coping. There is an element of BE that stops people expressing these types of posts as the responses can be cruel. I don't care if posters are cruel, I am just trying to demonstrate how terribly complex this whole experience can be and I am one of the lucky ones.

I hope this wasn't boring.... it was more me than anything I have written on BE before or probably again.

Best of luck to you all

BB
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Busterboy,

Very good post

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Old Jun 14th 2007, 3:52 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Originally Posted by busterboy View Post
Hello all that know me and all that don't. I used to post regularly on the forum but with all this emigrating milarky, I am afraid that I have not been posting much of late. I have promised my old chums an update and here it is. For those that don't know me I generally try to be funny on the forum and stay away from arguments...that's my online character anyway. In real life I am an average, fairly reserved Scottish person and what you are about to read is not about TFN numbers or dolphins!

A little bit of background
Firstly, I have no idea what brought me to Australia, it was no one thing just a wish to try something different. After years of different locations in the UK, building a career, meeting friends, getting drunk in different bars my OH and I decided to go on a reccie to Australia as his sister was here and having a really good time of it. The upshot of the reccie was that he loved it and I was unsure. We got married and after one too many bad summers and evenings avoiding bottle weilding chavs, we finally decided to put in our application. Fine, all well and good. I then changed jobs, got promoted, had a child, changed location, was pretty settled and then wouldn't you know it...the visa was granted.

After much to-ing and fro-ing, time of expats, research and meet-ups, we decided we were really going to go for it. After all, you are only as young as you are today and what have you got to lose? Many sad goodbyes later we were off to Melbourne.

Our first three months
The flight had a huge anti-climax, a real sense of the unreal....I suppose it is the adrenalin, last minute stress , last minute stress comedown and stress to come! Arriving to nothing after an organised life is one of life's big questioning dramas. Life on a blow up mattress on someone else's rental floor is quite a sobering reality....as is the moment where you realise that you don't know anywhere or anyone, have no concept of the size of most Australian cities, have no network of professional friends and your career to date is pretty much ignored.

We toured many truely crap rentals...if flock wallpaper and spiders webs and dead gardens are your thing...feel happy...you have finally arrived in paradise. Finally we found something in a good middle class suburb miles on the train line from the CBD. I found a job in my fairly specialised field in one week (through a vague contact) and my husband found a job a week later. We also found great child care a week later. We earn exactly what we earned in the UK, which by Australian standards is very good. We can afford to eat out often and are not scared to spend cash. Our lifestyle is fortunate and we know that we are very lucky compared to some equally deserving people on this forum who have not been afforded some of the luck that we have had. We go away most weekends and are lucky to live in very close proximity to some fabulous places even for a day break.

The reality of life so far
No matter how well we are doing, with many of the real life battles that other people are facing that we are not facing, I have felt a crushing sense of loss. I have felt intensely emotional and vulnerable. I have worried about all that has been and is in the past, the people I will not see again, the elderly relatives, the grandparents who will not see their grandchild nearly enough. It is an amazing blow to the ego to start a career 5 years back from where you left it. The language is English but the jargon is not the same. The journey to work 3 hours there and back is huge. It is colder than I thought it would be. I miss my child who spends longer in daycare than he ever did in Britain. My life is not as cushy as it was in the UK, it is certainly not as easy as it was in the UK. I miss the old me, I miss our old life, I am in short.... homesick. I feel a stranger in a strange land. A new person, a newbie, starting a new life at 36.

The challenge - if you choose to accept it - is?
The challenge is knowing if this a phase, whether pushing through it and establishing more roots is the right thing ie the permanent job, the home, the cars, the school or whether to run back to what is known while it is still there to reclaim. I don't know the answer. For us, it will be the press ahead regardless, things will get better approach. Everyone I have spoken with has said this is the most difficult year and I believe this to be classic homesickness. It certainly does not feel so 'certainly' bad that I am rushing to book a plane ticket home.

I hope this hasn't seemed to self indulgent. I just wanted to post a post that was not all doom and gloom nor 'yeh, our lives have magically been transformed' but somewhere in the middle. Australia has lived up to its promises so far, for us at least. This for me has been much more than a physical journey but a hugely emotional one and a very confusing one too. It might be for you.

I know that there are many posters out there who are concerned about some of these same issues and how they will cope and how they are coping. There is an element of BE that stops people expressing these types of posts as the responses can be cruel. I don't care if posters are cruel, I am just trying to demonstrate how terribly complex this whole experience can be and I am one of the lucky ones.

I hope this wasn't boring.... it was more me than anything I have written on BE before or probably again.

Best of luck to you all

BB
What a very honest post, stick with it and I am sure it will become easier and more familiar.#
Good luck to you, look forward to your update in a few months time
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 4:20 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

A very good and honest post I felt alot of what you wrote and can relate to it. It is nice to see that you are trying to overcome your homesickness and trying to make things work for you.

I hope it all comes good!

Mandy
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 4:43 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

I really liked your post!
you highlighted some really useful aspects about how things change
good luck and keep posting
bec
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 5:47 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Helloooooooo N

Lovely to hear from you again A great post refreshingly honest, really enjoyed it

Hope the home sickness eases off for you.

N xx
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 5:59 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Really interesting read - helps keep things in perspective especially for those of us away to take the plunge. We just moved out of our house today and fly next Saturday and it all still feels very surreal at the moment. Hope it all works out for you.

Scotschickx
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 6:13 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Hey there BB been wondring how you were getting on. Thanks for the update. Very thought provocking, esp coming on the same day as the news that ThomasandSarah-Jayne have decided to come home.

Keep looking forward mate.

We arrive in just over 6 weeks now, looking forward to finally meeting you.

Gill
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

what a great post and kind of wakens you up to the realities ahead of us.

Mike fae Arbroath
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 9:01 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Hi BB, a well rounded thought provoking read. This is a difficult journey we have decided on come on, with really no clear view of what lies ahead. You explain it so well. I hope the homesickness subsides and all the best for what comes next.

Donna & Neil
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 9:31 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

I loved reading your post, hope it all works out for you
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 11:40 pm
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

A really refreshing, honest read. And I'm sure that many people here will relate to it. You've certainly summed up how I felt about the place just under two years ago. It sounds like ploughing on is the right decision for you and yours. Best wishes that putting down some roots eases some of the difficulties of feeling unsettled.
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 12:12 am
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Originally Posted by busterboy View Post
The reality of life so far
No matter how well we are doing, with many of the real life battles that other people are facing that we are not facing, I have felt a crushing sense of loss. I have felt intensely emotional and vulnerable. I have worried about all that has been and is in the past, the people I will not see again, the elderly relatives, the grandparents who will not see their grandchild nearly enough. It is an amazing blow to the ego to start a career 5 years back from where you left it. The language is English but the jargon is not the same. The journey to work 3 hours there and back is huge. It is colder than I thought it would be. I miss my child who spends longer in daycare than he ever did in Britain. My life is not as cushy as it was in the UK, it is certainly not as easy as it was in the UK. I miss the old me, I miss our old life, I am in short.... homesick. I feel a stranger in a strange land. A new person, a newbie, starting a new life at 36.


BB
Can I just say I understand completely what you mean. The sense of grief is at times unbearable for the people, and also the life you left behind. However, it does get a little easier to bear as time goes on. You tend to just 'get used' to it and learn to live with it. Whether you choose to just live with it indeffinitely is another matter, time will tell.

I hope things improve for you
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 3:01 am
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

A very true, honest post.
It is bloody hard and although I love my life here, if i think too hard about what i've left behind, then it really hurts.
My mum tells me, when I'm feeling a bit low, that we are not missing anything and we are doing the right thing for all of us. But, I know she misses us like mad too, but won't say it.
Just look on it as being an adventure and something to experience. It doesn't have to be 'forever' that is way too much to cope with. Take one day at a time and enjoy it
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 3:55 am
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Default Re: The first few months of Oz for me!

Originally Posted by busterboy View Post
Hello all that know me and all that don't. I used to post regularly on the forum but with all this emigrating milarky, I am afraid that I have not been posting much of late. I have promised my old chums an update and here it is. For those that don't know me I generally try to be funny on the forum and stay away from arguments...that's my online character anyway. In real life I am an average, fairly reserved Scottish person and what you are about to read is not about TFN numbers or dolphins!

A little bit of background
Firstly, I have no idea what brought me to Australia, it was no one thing just a wish to try something different. After years of different locations in the UK, building a career, meeting friends, getting drunk in different bars my OH and I decided to go on a reccie to Australia as his sister was here and having a really good time of it. The upshot of the reccie was that he loved it and I was unsure. We got married and after one too many bad summers and evenings avoiding bottle weilding chavs, we finally decided to put in our application. Fine, all well and good. I then changed jobs, got promoted, had a child, changed location, was pretty settled and then wouldn't you know it...the visa was granted.

After much to-ing and fro-ing, time of expats, research and meet-ups, we decided we were really going to go for it. After all, you are only as young as you are today and what have you got to lose? Many sad goodbyes later we were off to Melbourne.

Our first three months
The flight had a huge anti-climax, a real sense of the unreal....I suppose it is the adrenalin, last minute stress , last minute stress comedown and stress to come! Arriving to nothing after an organised life is one of life's big questioning dramas. Life on a blow up mattress on someone else's rental floor is quite a sobering reality....as is the moment where you realise that you don't know anywhere or anyone, have no concept of the size of most Australian cities, have no network of professional friends and your career to date is pretty much ignored.

We toured many truely crap rentals...if flock wallpaper and spiders webs and dead gardens are your thing...feel happy...you have finally arrived in paradise. Finally we found something in a good middle class suburb miles on the train line from the CBD. I found a job in my fairly specialised field in one week (through a vague contact) and my husband found a job a week later. We also found great child care a week later. We earn exactly what we earned in the UK, which by Australian standards is very good. We can afford to eat out often and are not scared to spend cash. Our lifestyle is fortunate and we know that we are very lucky compared to some equally deserving people on this forum who have not been afforded some of the luck that we have had. We go away most weekends and are lucky to live in very close proximity to some fabulous places even for a day break.

The reality of life so far
No matter how well we are doing, with many of the real life battles that other people are facing that we are not facing, I have felt a crushing sense of loss. I have felt intensely emotional and vulnerable. I have worried about all that has been and is in the past, the people I will not see again, the elderly relatives, the grandparents who will not see their grandchild nearly enough. It is an amazing blow to the ego to start a career 5 years back from where you left it. The language is English but the jargon is not the same. The journey to work 3 hours there and back is huge. It is colder than I thought it would be. I miss my child who spends longer in daycare than he ever did in Britain. My life is not as cushy as it was in the UK, it is certainly not as easy as it was in the UK. I miss the old me, I miss our old life, I am in short.... homesick. I feel a stranger in a strange land. A new person, a newbie, starting a new life at 36.

The challenge - if you choose to accept it - is?
The challenge is knowing if this a phase, whether pushing through it and establishing more roots is the right thing ie the permanent job, the home, the cars, the school or whether to run back to what is known while it is still there to reclaim. I don't know the answer. For us, it will be the press ahead regardless, things will get better approach. Everyone I have spoken with has said this is the most difficult year and I believe this to be classic homesickness. It certainly does not feel so 'certainly' bad that I am rushing to book a plane ticket home.

I hope this hasn't seemed to self indulgent. I just wanted to post a post that was not all doom and gloom nor 'yeh, our lives have magically been transformed' but somewhere in the middle. Australia has lived up to its promises so far, for us at least. This for me has been much more than a physical journey but a hugely emotional one and a very confusing one too. It might be for you.

I know that there are many posters out there who are concerned about some of these same issues and how they will cope and how they are coping. There is an element of BE that stops people expressing these types of posts as the responses can be cruel. I don't care if posters are cruel, I am just trying to demonstrate how terribly complex this whole experience can be and I am one of the lucky ones.

I hope this wasn't boring.... it was more me than anything I have written on BE before or probably again.

Best of luck to you all

BB
Spot on and honest !!!

Hope it works out for you
Kris xx
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