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ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Old May 8th 2007, 1:22 pm
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Default ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

well, for those of you who know me, hello mateys. i havent been able to come on the forum for a while as i knew it was going to be hard to tell you whats been going on although a couple of you do know and i thank for your loving ongoing suport sue i apologise now but i didnt want jo to find out and spread at work!! and still dont please!

well, since we arrived last august OMG last bloody august, cant believe been here for almost 9 months! anyway, things started to go a bit pear shaped just before we left the uk with my hubby's behaviour changing, once we arrived things went from bad to worse and i'm not going to fill you in otherwise i'll be here all night!

friends from the uk stayed with us and that was a disaster, we now dont even speak and thats awkward and not a day goes by that i dont dread bumping into them! anyway, baz and beth had a huge fall out and in the uk they had a fantastic relationship, 2 weeks before christmas, barry left me and i couldnt find him, my world was falling apart, anyway i found him, got him to come back and then a week later he did it again!! so, we didnt have the best of christmas's to say the least! beth was homesick and really struggling with the move, school was a disaster and she didnt have one mate! she went back to the uk in jan for a holiday of 4 weeks and didnt come back for 3 months! she's been back 2 weeks now with a great positive attitude and her and baz are getting on great again.

anyway, it turns out that barry was suffering with and still is, severe depression, triggered by leaving ebony behind! it was hilary who said he was exhibiting signs so i went on a brill website called beyond blue and hey presto, there it was in black and white DEPRESSION! i eventually found him and said i thought he might be depressed which of course he just denied, it took me a week to find him living in a grotty caravan with all the curtains taped up, all his tool boxes and posessions chained up and losing weight drasticlly. again, i'm cutting this very short! i left him aload of literature and that same day, he called me sobbing acknowledging it and saying how scared he was! he has been having panic attacks for months that i didnt know about! chest pain and thought he was having a heart attack! compulsiveness!aggressive outbursts, anger....you name it!

we sought help straight away and started councilling too, which hasnt been to successful, but, we're getting there slowly. he's on his 3rd lot of different anti depressents and touch wood these seem to be right.

we've bought a beautiful house,a queenslander on acerage which keeps us very busy! he wouldnt even step back into the rental we were in! all the shit we went through to get here, the court cases etc, but this is the hardest thing ive ever had to do, to live with someone with depression is hard! i have done much reading about depression to try and understand and have learned a lot. I have cried many times and have even been diagnosed with reactive depression myself because its been tough, and still is . i now have councilling to help me cope with his illness and it helps.

i feel we have turned the corner, well nothing else could go wrong for us surely!!!!!!!! i still walk on eggshells but not as much, and baz is not so much a recluse anymore, he struggles to go out and mix but at least he comes out, even if only for an hour or 2 although he smokes now, like a trooper , something he didnt do before!

i have wanted to go back sooooooooooo many times and i often think, 'why am i here' but, i love the sunshine coast and have made the most fantastic group of friends who have been my saviour, and you lady, you know who you are my parents came out for a month in march and we had the best time, they were shocked how ill baz was and the 2 stone he's lost, but are really worried about me! i really didnt want them to leave! neither of us want to return to the uk, for what!? of course just family and friends.

as for ebony, barrys daughter, she didnt want to come and he knows that, but it was the guilt of leaving her and that guilt isnt ever going to go away, but he's now learning how to cope with it. ryan , my son came out just before christmas and didnt know what had happened so in shock and angy for a long time. but we all live under the same roof now, he has a job and is out surfing and partying a lot and loving the lifestlye.

so thats it in a nutshell, i just hope we have turned that huge bloody corner now and seeing the light shine through eh?!! nice to be back
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:40 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by debbiemc View Post
well, for those of you who know me, hello mateys. i havent been able to come on the forum for a while as i knew it was going to be hard to tell you whats been going on although a couple of you do know and i thank for your loving ongoing suport sue i apologise now but i didnt want jo to find out and spread at work!! and still dont please!

well, since we arrived last august OMG last bloody august, cant believe been here for almost 9 months! anyway, things started to go a bit pear shaped just before we left the uk with my hubby's behaviour changing, once we arrived things went from bad to worse and i'm not going to fill you in otherwise i'll be here all night!

friends from the uk stayed with us and that was a disaster, we now dont even speak and thats awkward and not a day goes by that i dont dread bumping into them! anyway, baz and beth had a huge fall out and in the uk they had a fantastic relationship, 2 weeks before christmas, barry left me and i couldnt find him, my world was falling apart, anyway i found him, got him to come back and then a week later he did it again!! so, we didnt have the best of christmas's to say the least! beth was homesick and really struggling with the move, school was a disaster and she didnt have one mate! she went back to the uk in jan for a holiday of 4 weeks and didnt come back for 3 months! she's been back 2 weeks now with a great positive attitude and her and baz are getting on great again.

anyway, it turns out that barry was suffering with and still is, severe depression, triggered by leaving ebony behind! it was hilary who said he was exhibiting signs so i went on a brill website called beyond blue and hey presto, there it was in black and white DEPRESSION! i eventually found him and said i thought he might be depressed which of course he just denied, it took me a week to find him living in a grotty caravan with all the curtains taped up, all his tool boxes and posessions chained up and losing weight drasticlly. again, i'm cutting this very short! i left him aload of literature and that same day, he called me sobbing acknowledging it and saying how scared he was! he has been having panic attacks for months that i didnt know about! chest pain and thought he was having a heart attack! compulsiveness!aggressive outbursts, anger....you name it!

we sought help straight away and started councilling too, which hasnt been to successful, but, we're getting there slowly. he's on his 3rd lot of different anti depressents and touch wood these seem to be right.

we've bought a beautiful house,a queenslander on acerage which keeps us very busy! he wouldnt even step back into the rental we were in! all the shit we went through to get here, the court cases etc, but this is the hardest thing ive ever had to do, to live with someone with depression is hard! i have done much reading about depression to try and understand and have learned a lot. I have cried many times and have even been diagnosed with reactive depression myself because its been tough, and still is . i now have councilling to help me cope with his illness and it helps.

i feel we have turned the corner, well nothing else could go wrong for us surely!!!!!!!! i still walk on eggshells but not as much, and baz is not so much a recluse anymore, he struggles to go out and mix but at least he comes out, even if only for an hour or 2 although he smokes now, like a trooper , something he didnt do before!

i have wanted to go back sooooooooooo many times and i often think, 'why am i here' but, i love the sunshine coast and have made the most fantastic group of friends who have been my saviour, and you lady, you know who you are my parents came out for a month in march and we had the best time, they were shocked how ill baz was and the 2 stone he's lost, but are really worried about me! i really didnt want them to leave! neither of us want to return to the uk, for what!? of course just family and friends.

as for ebony, barrys daughter, she didnt want to come and he knows that, but it was the guilt of leaving her and that guilt isnt ever going to go away, but he's now learning how to cope with it. ryan , my son came out just before christmas and didnt know what had happened so in shock and angy for a long time. but we all live under the same roof now, he has a job and is out surfing and partying a lot and loving the lifestlye.

so thats it in a nutshell, i just hope we have turned that huge bloody corner now and seeing the light shine through eh?!! nice to be back
Blimey Debbie, you have been through it some eh.

Glad things are looking up for you and I hope they continue to do so.

Take care

Shirley x
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:42 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by debbiemc View Post
well, for those of you who know me, hello mateys. i havent been able to come on the forum for a while as i knew it was going to be hard to tell you whats been going on although a couple of you do know and i thank for your loving ongoing suport sue i apologise now but i didnt want jo to find out and spread at work!! and still dont please!

well, since we arrived last august OMG last bloody august, cant believe been here for almost 9 months! anyway, things started to go a bit pear shaped just before we left the uk with my hubby's behaviour changing, once we arrived things went from bad to worse and i'm not going to fill you in otherwise i'll be here all night!

friends from the uk stayed with us and that was a disaster, we now dont even speak and thats awkward and not a day goes by that i dont dread bumping into them! anyway, baz and beth had a huge fall out and in the uk they had a fantastic relationship, 2 weeks before christmas, barry left me and i couldnt find him, my world was falling apart, anyway i found him, got him to come back and then a week later he did it again!! so, we didnt have the best of christmas's to say the least! beth was homesick and really struggling with the move, school was a disaster and she didnt have one mate! she went back to the uk in jan for a holiday of 4 weeks and didnt come back for 3 months! she's been back 2 weeks now with a great positive attitude and her and baz are getting on great again.

anyway, it turns out that barry was suffering with and still is, severe depression, triggered by leaving ebony behind! it was hilary who said he was exhibiting signs so i went on a brill website called beyond blue and hey presto, there it was in black and white DEPRESSION! i eventually found him and said i thought he might be depressed which of course he just denied, it took me a week to find him living in a grotty caravan with all the curtains taped up, all his tool boxes and posessions chained up and losing weight drasticlly. again, i'm cutting this very short! i left him aload of literature and that same day, he called me sobbing acknowledging it and saying how scared he was! he has been having panic attacks for months that i didnt know about! chest pain and thought he was having a heart attack! compulsiveness!aggressive outbursts, anger....you name it!

we sought help straight away and started councilling too, which hasnt been to successful, but, we're getting there slowly. he's on his 3rd lot of different anti depressents and touch wood these seem to be right.

we've bought a beautiful house,a queenslander on acerage which keeps us very busy! he wouldnt even step back into the rental we were in! all the shit we went through to get here, the court cases etc, but this is the hardest thing ive ever had to do, to live with someone with depression is hard! i have done much reading about depression to try and understand and have learned a lot. I have cried many times and have even been diagnosed with reactive depression myself because its been tough, and still is . i now have councilling to help me cope with his illness and it helps.

i feel we have turned the corner, well nothing else could go wrong for us surely!!!!!!!! i still walk on eggshells but not as much, and baz is not so much a recluse anymore, he struggles to go out and mix but at least he comes out, even if only for an hour or 2 although he smokes now, like a trooper , something he didnt do before!

i have wanted to go back sooooooooooo many times and i often think, 'why am i here' but, i love the sunshine coast and have made the most fantastic group of friends who have been my saviour, and you lady, you know who you are my parents came out for a month in march and we had the best time, they were shocked how ill baz was and the 2 stone he's lost, but are really worried about me! i really didnt want them to leave! neither of us want to return to the uk, for what!? of course just family and friends.

as for ebony, barrys daughter, she didnt want to come and he knows that, but it was the guilt of leaving her and that guilt isnt ever going to go away, but he's now learning how to cope with it. ryan , my son came out just before christmas and didnt know what had happened so in shock and angy for a long time. but we all live under the same roof now, he has a job and is out surfing and partying a lot and loving the lifestlye.

so thats it in a nutshell, i just hope we have turned that huge bloody corner now and seeing the light shine through eh?!! nice to be back

Aw Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear that you've all had a hard time. I know what Barry's feeling to an extent because I feel the same about leaving my lad in the UK, but like you say if they don't want to come there isn't much you can do about it.

I hope you and him are turning the corner, it's a bloody long one. If you need a whinge, just PM me anytime, as you know I'm always here
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:52 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

You have been through the mill. Pleased to hear that things are slowing turning the corner.
Take care

Lynne
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:53 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by Wendy View Post
Aw Debbie, I'm so sorry to hear that you've all had a hard time. I know what Barry's feeling to an extent because I feel the same about leaving my lad in the UK, but like you say if they don't want to come there isn't much you can do about it.

I hope you and him are turning the corner, it's a bloody long one. If you need a whinge, just PM me anytime, as you know I'm always here
thanks wendy and shirley, i hope so too. have you settled well then and what are you up too?

shirley are you going back then? just reffering to your signature!!
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:54 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Well doen for being so positive after being thorugh so much.

I really hope that you have all turned the corner and that things will start to get better.

Good luck.

Tracey
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:55 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by debbiemc View Post
thanks wendy and shirley, i hope so too. have you settled well then and what are you up too?

shirley are you going back then? just reffering to your signature!!
No way jose!!

Almost nearing the end of our house sale in uk, no date yet, but we have had an offer accepted on a house but because we have no date we have no idea when we can settle on the new house - therefore are we packing up or not?
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Old May 8th 2007, 1:58 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by ub40fan View Post
No way jose!!

Almost nearing the end of our house sale in uk, no date yet, but we have had an offer accepted on a house but because we have no date we have no idea when we can settle on the new house - therefore are we packing up or not?
so where are you?

thanks tracey
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Old May 8th 2007, 2:00 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by debbiemc View Post
so where are you?

thanks tracey
Perth - and loving it so far
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Old May 8th 2007, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Debbie I'm so glad things are picking up for you.

Your story sounds so familiar...it happened to my friends husband. She moved here three years ago and used to post on here a lot.

I really hope things continue to be on the up for you all. All the best
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Old May 8th 2007, 2:02 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Blimey you have been through the mill.

So glad that you've turned the corner and things are starting to look up. I hope that it all continues to get better.
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Old May 8th 2007, 2:11 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Well done for posting Debbie, it was a very well thought out post.

You really have been through it, I know I've complained a lot about the home/people sickness etc recently but it seems to pale in to insignificance compared to what you've been through!

I really hope things continue to pick up for you now, and bloody well done for sticking it out through all the hard times.

You deserve some good times from now on!

Karma sent.

Stu
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Old May 8th 2007, 2:20 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Originally Posted by wafc View Post
Well done for posting Debbie, it was a very well thought out post.

You really have been through it, I know I've complained a lot about the home/people sickness etc recently but it seems to pale in to insignificance compared to what you've been through!

I really hope things continue to pick up for you now, and bloody well done for sticking it out through all the hard times.

You deserve some good times from now on!

Karma sent.

Stu
thanks to you all and for the karma, i'm nearly in tears here!! everybody has their problems, and yours probably feel as huge as mine so dont feel bad about complaing stu!

i used to live onthe forum and have felt bad not being on for so long as there are so many people on here whove been a huge help to me in the past with all the shit we had before we emigrated! i just felt ok about talking about it now, and it feels good to be back.

i'm off to bed now as ive got a busy day tommorow, walking in the noosa national park, going to buy the winning ticket of the boystown house on gympie terrace and then lunch with the girlls on hastings not all bad eh!!

thank you again for your god wishes everyone x
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Old May 8th 2007, 5:40 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

Hi Deb!

Best wishes to you and your family. So pleased to hear that you are managing to work your way through it all and still able to enjoy things. I can't wait to see you later in the year to catch up.

Lots love Jackie xx
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Old May 8th 2007, 5:47 pm
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Default Re: ey up folks, thought it time to i filled you in!!

I just wish i could grab you in my arms and give you a big deserving hug......god you have been through it, and Barry too , god bless him , he really must have thought he was going crazy.

Well i am glad things are looking up, take each day as it comes and be there for each other.

(((((((( hug ))))))))
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