British Expats - A bit of encouragement

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)

- The Update Forum (https://britishexpats.com/forum/update-forum-107/)

- - A bit of encouragement (https://britishexpats.com/forum/update-forum-107/bit-encouragement-521432/)

A bit of encouragement

We arrived here in November 2004. We encountered a very hostile situation with in-laws, followed within twelve months by the death of my Mother in law here in Oz and a feuding silbling relationship with my other half and his sister.

Our two shiney children who we adopted and who had developmental difficulties were given short shrift by schools here. We were told to put them in special schools. No help was possible in main stream schools.
My partner and I were amongst the first wave of same gender couples to adopt in the UK. I wont bore you with all of the details but we did encounter our fair share of ignorance and discrimination here.

I found it hard to get employment. My qualifications (from two of the UK's oldest Universities) were not recognised. I was turned for two posts because of my sexual orientation. Only one of the two were daft enough to spell it out! This resulted in the case proceeding to the New South Wales Anti Discrimination Board. I settled out of court and the agreement forbids to say exactly what the settlement was, but I was satisfied with it and it will make that organisation think twice before it does the same thing again.

I think that as it was also called Christian organisation it rather stuck in their throat that it was a clergyman who was binging the action against them. I know I like a challenge but it was stressful. :confused:

After six months I thought we had done the worst thing by moving here. :unsure: Now a few years on how different things seem. With steel like determination we managed to get our children into a mainstream school and we managed to get similar help in the classroom for them as they had in the UK. They are happy, doing well and the oldest represented his school in a swimming carnival this week. They are popular kids with peers and teachers alike.

I found a job in the public sector which was exactly the hours I was looking for. I found myself part of a team that appreciated my experience. The money is poor but there is more to life than cash and we are not poor. The hours meant I could also do a couple of days private work and supliment my income a bit.

The following year I had a call from a college. "Could you help us out with some lecturing" I had sent them myCV when I first arrived and heard nothing for two years. It is stimulating work, hours that fit around my other two jobs and family and it's well paid too. A while later another college rang and asked the same question. So I now teach two nights a week, see private clients during my two "days off" and I work three days permanent part-time. I enjoy my work and the variety of tasks very much and the fact the children are happy makes me happy.

We have found making friends hard work. We are both in our 50's and I think it is more difficult the older one gets. The friends we have made are an invaluable source of support.

I have just decided to splash out on the pool (excuse the pun) and install heating for the winter. I love to swim every day. It was not something I enjoyed doing a great deal in the UK.

We live in a very pretty location. No houses behind us, just open spaces and bushland. We have regular visitors too: wallabies, possums and the technicolour activity of wild birds.

Yes - three years and six months on life feels very different. I still miss my mates in the UK and I will return for a holiday in July but that terrible homesickness and desperation has gone. It took longer than a few months and longer than the two years which I often read about. If you are in the same boat, give yourself time. If you feel really miserable try and talk to a trusted friend or even consider talking to a counsellor - preferably some one who knows how had it can be to make the adjustment.
:thumbsup: