sarahl322

My husband and 5 year old daughter moved from Kent to Brisbane last August, loved it at first, the weather, the people, the parks, the beaches etc etc. My daughter loved her day care, she made lots of new friends and played with kids more than she did in UK. My husband had a good job selling real estate and was working pretty much 7 days a week and then there was me! I felt isolated, missed my friends and family so much, we started arguing constantly, my husband doesn't have a big family so couldn't understand my problem. To cut a long story short my husband and I split up, I came back with my daughter in April and we settled back in to our old life and it was like we had never been away, it was great seeing my friends and family again, I got my old job back, daughter went to her old childminder, it was too easy!

Husband came back last month he didn't want to stay without us although he loved Brisbane and the Australian way of life, he was a completely different person over there. So now we are all back in UK and slowly getting our lives back together only problem is I have realised I have made a huge mistake and have been reflecting on Brisbane and realised I didn't give it enough time and I gave in too easy. My husband would go back tomorrow but do we make the upheaval again?? When I think of our lives in Brisbane, we had a lot more time together even though oh worked alot he was home early, now we are back to the rushed routine week in week out. I feel so stupid and it upsets me that I caused all this. Shall we or shall we not ... that is the question!?

Scrawni 2

You need to ask yourself this, would you be going back because you want to or because you know it would make your husband happier?

If you do go back then you must do if for you only. It's all too easy to think that the grass is greener but time has a way of distorting things. You came back because you were unhappy, what will be different this time round?

As someone that has done it, I know how hard the decision will be. Take your time and don't rust the decision, Australia isn't going anywhere.

bluekipper

I agree with previous post, be careful about why you want to return,, we came bk because I didnt settle & youngest daughter, however I too realise I didnt give it long enough, and can see how much i really did start to fit in in OZ, we are taking our time in returning, as we have visa`s for a few more yrs yet. It is difficult starting afresh anywhere new, takes time and lots of effort I think.

I wish you luck and hope you make the right desicion allround

Bluekipper

Babsw

although its an expensive way to do it could you go back as a family for a long holiday just to confirm what you are thinking?
We came back to UK then decided to return to aus but diff. place so we went back for 3 wks this summer,in my opinion it was best money ever spent-cleared up so many worries and doubts and took off any last rose coloured tints ( we remembered things as they really were and not as we thought we did).
We're moving back next week and are determined to make it work, we know where we went wrong, what not to expect etc and are just so much more realistic about everything.
Its very hard to be sure if you are doing right thing and only you can answer that honestly but if you can both keep talking that helps a lot...
Good luck!

Kath & Graham

Im in Kent too, we have be back one year now, OH hates it back here we were in Perth for 3 years, now going back to Brisbane hopefully within the next 6 months, its changed so much here

We came back for personal reasons and thought that life in Oz wasnt for us, now realise that it was me and not the place, big expensive mistake we made, but at the time for us it was the right thing to do..Now both of us feel we want to give it another go, my old Dad (for whom we came back) says he's even contemplating on the move once we are settled!!!

Im glad we got citizenship before we came back, although no passports we have to go up to Australia house in London soon and get them.

Kath & Graham

Good luck with your move back!!! We decided on trying the East Coast, although our eldest lives in Perth and we have some very dear friends there, hopefully we will be able to see them more often

Little miss reub

We were also in Perth we came back to the uk been back 4 years now, we are also going back to the Gold Coast next year when my son finishes college

sarahl322

It was a very expensive experience and to go back it has to be right for both of us or we could end up with nothing. I know I didn't give it enough time and when the going got tough... I bailed! Now I know the mistakes I made hopefully I wouldn't repeat them. Looking back we had an excellent quality of life, more time together etc etc all what we went for - silly sarah!!!

Mav

so sorry to hear things didnt go so well for you, we came here from kent and been here 14 months now,I have a large family back home, my OH has his brother here, so I was so depressed I had no one here from my family and misses them alot at one point I was ready to go back to the uk I cried alot of the time and my daughter wanted to go home to see her friends it was hard. but lucky I got a job as a home carer now and work around my daughters school hours so I am their for her which helps and I am getting out more meeting people so things are getting better for us and my mums coming for christmas with my in laws, and my daughter made lots of friends so she happy now, but for a long time all I wanted to do was go home to my family hope things work out for you in the end.

Babsw

sometimes i think our ping ponging has helped a lot, we know where we went wrong, we've been lucky and had a second chance to sort it,we've re evaluated so many things in our lives and sorted so many problems and i think we are all closer as a family,well our immediate family any way....say no more!
It is a hard experience not to say expensive but you only get one shot at this life.
Good luck to everyone with what you decide!

tiredwithtwins

how very true ... and you cant take it with you, so live life to the full, where ever that may be
good luck in whatever you decide

sa2uk2oz

[QUOTE=Babsw;6837870]sometimes i think our ping ponging has helped a lot, we know where we went wrong, we've been lucky and had a second chance to sort it,we've re evaluated so many things in our lives and sorted so many problems and i think we are all closer as a family,well our immediate family any way....say no more!



Hi Babsw
I certainly agree with you on this one. We made the move a few times but between south Africa and the UK- till we eventually decided to apply for a PR visa for Australia. We have been here 14 months now and have eventually found what we were searching for - a good balance between work/recreation time, and think all the cost and moving back and forwards has been worth it in the long run, as we are happy and loving the lifestyle here on the gold coast. Good luck!

dejags

[QUOTE=sa2uk2oz;6840314] Hi sa2uk2oz

You sound like us. We moved from SA to the UK and back twice (three times if you count going back after our gap year - but we only had suitcases that time).

We eventually ended up back in SA in 2004 after our second childs' birth. Sadly, we knew right from the word go that we'd made a mistake. Our application for PR in Australia was submitted a few months later. We finally arrived in Australia (Brissy Northside) in May this year and have not regretted it for one moment - like you, the balance is good.

bluekipper

[QUOTE=dejags;6840757]
We lived in SA, now bk in UK, hoping to move to Perth once eldest finished A levels, seems to me like lots leave SA and find happiness,settlement, in other parts of OZ! Very expensive way to do it, but thats what homesickness does to you,,,stops you thinking rationally!!

Good luck everyone ping ponging

Bluekipper

CEM

[QUOTE=bluekipper;6841070] We're doing the same. We were in Perth for 4 years - took ages to settle but did eventually, then work brought us back here (UK). I was very depressed for a long time but settled eventually (took 3+ years tho'!) and now work is taking us to Sydney. I'm expecting it to take another couple of years to settle again but at least I know that now and can be prepared for it. I know life won't be the same; it can be just as good, but different. These forums really help too - they weren't around when we first moved (not that I knew of anyway) and I thought I was the only one who found it hard. I know different now!
Good luck with your decision, it's a real strain on a relationship when one partner feels that they're the one making all the 'sacrifices' for the sake of the other.
Is anyone else going to Sydney? Feels like we're the only ones!

C x