midgetjan

Okay, almost 20 months in now so thought I should post a new update rather than add on to my old thread:

Surprise - we are still here in Perth living in the foothills.

In July last year I finally got the job I had been looking for. It's a government position and is a temporary contract but at least it pays the bills and I enjoy the work. I'm working full time and by the time I get home and have dinner I just unwind with a glass (or bottle) of wine and chill out for the night. Weekends are by in the blink of an eye but I'm on holiday this week so I have no excuse and have finally sat down to do this update.

The girls are both still in the UK. Their choice, which we have to respect, whether we like it or not. Both of them still living with tossers but again, nothing we can do about that either. Carrie (24) came over for 3 and a half weeks at the end of October and she loved it here. Unfortunately while she was here her "boyfriend" managed to land her in the shit with her work and she returned to the sack. She'd been working for the same oil company for almost 7 years and it's such a waste. She's now unemployed, signing the dole and living with a pot head. Just what every mum wants.....

Kim (22) returned to the UK last May and she now rents a farmhouse with her lad. He doesn't speak to us because we wanted Kim to stay here, but she keeps in touch. She only managed to get contract work on her return to the UK and now the contract is finished she is out of work. It's the first time ever that the girls have been out of work. They've both worked since they were at school. I can't help thinking that they have both made a mess of things but I have now reached a stage that I have to accept that it's their lives and they have to learn by their own mistakes.

Rob (OH) tore the ligament from the bone on his elbow so was unable to work for a few months while it healed. He's now mended but as yet has not managed to find work. Things are getting a bit tight here and jobs are few and far between. West Australians IMO can be very racist and always offer any jobs to locals first. (Sorry if that offends anyone, but it's just how we see it).

Our son Craig (17) is still not driving so he's making it harder for himself to get a decent job. He has applied to MacDonalds as it's fairly local and he can get there without a driving licence. Not exactly a career but at least it will get him out of the house and mixing with kids his own age.

It's been a very difficult time for us but I'm beginning to see the light. We were thrown in at the deep end when we arrived and stayed with Rob's nutty family (never, ever do that again). We seemed to have a really bad run of luck and every time we were getting on our feet, something came along and smacked us back down.

To be honest I don't think we realised just how difficult it was going to be leaving everyone behind. We miss the girls dreadfully and had always hoped they would have joined us here. Rob has suffered from depression, which I've found quite hard as he's always been the strong one in our relationship. Taking him out of his comfort zone really knocked him for 6.

We always had a great marriage and were best buddies. Last year we almost reached the divorce stage as we couldn't agree on anything. Rob could only see doom and gloom and I refused to believe things were so bad. I hate failing and wanted to make this adventure work. Eventually I had to stand back and really look at the situation. I agreed to go back to the UK for a 6 week holiday on the understanding we all gave it 100% on our return. I also agreed if, after 2 years we were still unhappy we would all return together. I love my husband and knew that I wanted to be with him, whether it was here or in a tent in the middle of nowhere. Things are now great between us and we talk about concerns before they turn into huge issues.

My parents have been awful (very long story, which I won't bore you with). The girls have messed us about with tales of "I'm coming" and "I've changed my mind". In the end it has turned out to be a blessing as it's made us decide to give things a good go here. Up until very recently Rob and Craig would both have jumped on the next plane to UK.

Craig still misses Aberdeen and his pals but Rob has no desire to go back at the moment. I'm not saying we'll never go back - but for now we're making the most of life here. We still don't have the social life we did in the UK but I guess it just takes some of us longer than others. Rob's family don't speak to us (PHEW) so really we have had to start fresh, knowing no one.

Summer is coming to an end here so we have a rainy winter to look forward to. At least we'll save on air con bills, there won't be as many flies and the grass with be green for a while. It just seems to be a shame when it's too cold to jump in the pool.

We have only had Carrie to visit since we moved here. I always thought we'd have had a queue of pals booking flights, but no. In fact my best pal doesn't even email me any more. Surprisingly people who were mere acquaintances have been better at keeping in touch.

I don't know what the future holds for us but I will never regret coming here. It has opened my eyes and made me really look at my life.

Has it been the best 20 months of my life? I seriously doubt it but I was looking for an adventure and I can't say it's been dull. After all, the obstacles thrown at you just add to the adventure.

mindblower

.[/QUOTE]

Great post, it's a battle , but a battle worth fighting I think..

Heljinder

Great post, it's a battle , but a battle worth fighting I think..[/QUOTE]
Sorry, but no it's not! A family in tatters is not worth it.

storms

Great honest post, we have been here now 19 months, time seems to rush past, but in doing so, doesn't it just throw a few obstacles!!!

One day I will get to write my update!

stm1971

Great post, it's a battle , but a battle worth fighting I think..[/QUOTE]

Have to agree with you there Heljinder.

I do hope things work out for Jan though.

midgetjan

Thanks for the replies.

Don't know what "working out" actually means. For the moment we are just taking things one day at a time. Can't really ask for more.

Whatever happens I will never see the outcome as "failing" even if we return to the UK. (which isn't on the cards at the moment)

I know we had the balls to really try it and live it, warts and all, and I believe the whole experience has enriched our lives.

Sometimes being away from your family actually lets you see them from a different angle.

wardy2

blimey jan what an update we haven't been here to long in comparrison but that could almost be my update especially in some regards to the kids in the UK situation.

My son said he was coming now changed his mind again and has no plans to visit

good luck with the rest of your journey

midgetjan

One day I hope they will have kids and understand how much they can hurt you.

Wishing you the best of luck. Try to be strong and take each day as it comes ~ it's the only way I can cope.

merleoberon

thanx for great honest update. i thought you had been here longer. your post highlights some of the difficulties of moving her but you seem to be doing your best. interesting what you say about your relationship as we were like that but now closer. same with friends - its not always the ones you expected that stay in touch . this emigrating malarky certainly sorts out the wheat from the chaff!

Sally Simpson

Jan, really glad that things seem to be on the up at last & well done for persevering.

With regard to the comments about famillies in tatters....these things happen wether you emigrate or not. When your kids become adults, they make their own choices. If you stay in the UK to keep family together, what is stop them later on moving abroad?

Heljinder

Jan, I really do hope everything gets better for you, as you have been through an awful lot. But you describe your move to Perth as an adventure. Is this the only reason why you came? I haven't read your previous posting, so correct me if I'm wrong, but was it worth all the disruption to your lives, just for that reason.

I've learnt a lot about myself since being here too, and the hard truth is that there was nothing wrong with my life in England. Yes, I was a bit stressed out, hubby worked away during the week, and I didn't like the weather. I couldn't change the weather, but I could have changed the other things. But no, I uprooted our family (and yes, I have children too), just to see if the grass was greener, to have an adventure and satisfy my wanderlust.

I've tried to justify my reasons for leaving England, to nobody but myself, but I can kid myself no longer.

Good luck.

robos

As I said Jan I feel for you, and you cant always put off your plans for family no matter how hard it seems. Too much planning and effort goes into it all.

sj oldfield

Lets just hope the next 20 months are better for you!!

kez81

Great post, i can relate to a lot of it

Kapri

I think you are spot on Jan. Having difficult times doesn't make you a failure. It can make you stronger and wiser.