British Expats - 9 year update!

Some reflections on the UK...

Roads & traffic.
No change here. The British road system still consists of multiple traffic jams connected by a random assortment of increasingly incomprehensible roundabouts, some of which are linked by motorways where the only rule seems to be 'don't indicate; just assume everyone else knows where you're going.' Parking is non-existent, driveways are a luxury, and garages are only for people with six figure incomes.

TV.
British TV has gone down the drain. It used to be great, but now almost every channel simply clones every show on every other channel, so there's not much to watch. A typical evening of British TV looks like this:

* News ('A highly anticipated white paper from the Home Office has confirmed that everything is bad. Overseas, badness is on the decline, and for the most part it's pretty OK. The President of Burundi has been quoted as saying "At least it's not as bad here as it is in Britain".')

* Weather ('The weather is bad.')

* Soap opera ('If you thought your relationship was bad, check out these dysfunctional morons.')

* Reality show ('Here are some completely unlikeable people doing things badly. Enjoy.')

* Documentary ('Was Richard III really bad?')

* Something intelligent at last ('Tonight in Time Team, we discover that everything was also bad in the Middle Ages.')

* Late night news: ('Everything continues to be bad. Here's a man who says Brexit is bad. Here's another man, who says the EU is bad. Overseas, everything has become much better.')

* Weather: ('The weather is still bad, and getting worse. Leaves on the line in Fordwich have resulted in the closure of the entire British rail system, including the Underground and HS1.')

* Late night movie: ('Tonight's film contains adult content of bad people doing very bad things to (a) each other, (b) small animals, (c) inoffensive plants, and for some reason (d) Gerard Butler. Discretion is advised. Recommended viewing age: 9 years.')

Internet.
Fibre is everywhere, and that's a really good thing. (Our house in Adelaide has fibre to the curb, and we get 50/25, which is amazing). Free wifi is widely available; so much so that I didn't even bother to get a British sim card, because most of the time I had access to the internet.

Food.
Eating at home is still cheaper than it is in Australia; eating out is still more expensive. I can personally recommend the following venues:

* Plough & Harrow (Aldridge)
* Simply Delicious (Aldridge)
* The Barn at Lichfield (Lichfield)
* Chapters Cafe (Lichfield)

I do not recommend the Tudor at Lichfield (overpriced, dreadful service, dull and poorly presented food of a very mediocre standard).

Real estate.
Houses are still overpriced (same as Australia) and buying is still cheaper than renting (the opposite of Australia).

Cars.
Still cheaper than Australia, with the added bonus of easy access to European marques. Drool!

Petrol.
I nearly fainted at the prices!

Weather.
Perfect and gorgeous, just as I remember it. British sun wakes you in the morning with a kiss on the cheek, gently caresses your skin throughout the day, and winks goodnight at dusk. Australian sun drags you out of bed in the morning, skins you alive, rolls you in salt for the rest of the day, and hurls your shattered carcass into a brick wall at 5pm with a callous 'SEE YA TOMORROW, WANKER!'