5 days???
 

Just thought I'd post my update here seen as I am up and jet-lagged and have nothing else to do at 5am in the morning!

I got offered a job in Melbourne on a 457 and me, my wife and 20 month old son came out last Tuesday. We booked a serviced apartment for the first week whilst we planned to look for a place to rent.

However, we are now going home on Sunday after a complete week of emotional turmoil...

Firstly, on the last leg of the journey, my wife just started to feel ill and her body was telling her this move was wrong and what are we doing moving away from our life in the UK with all our family? Then, we touched down and received news that my grandfather, with whom I am very close, had been diagnosed with cancer. For the first couple of days my son was crying for his grandparents and all we could do is try and Skype them, but this just didnt seem enough. Then I turned, and I thought to myself, why am I putting my family through this and ourselves through this when there is no need to?

Anyway, after some nights of endless crying, we decided that we needed to go back to the UK and this had been a mistake. My family, especially my grandfather, needed us at home, and it was just a shame that it took us lots of money and a 26 hour flight to realise it.

On the other hand, we wanted to move to Australia for the outside life it would give our son, and it had been a dream of ours for over 15 years. We were thrilled when our visa came through. Melbourne fulfils everything we wanted Oz to be. Yes, it is a bit chilly at the moment, but there are parks everywhere for my son to play, the beaches look nice, there are so many sports going on that I don't know if we'd have time to do even half of what we wanted. I could earn more money here and live in a bigger house too.

But I have realised that for me, what is the point of all of this, if I don't get to share it all with my family? We have just had a nephew on my side of the family and a niece on my wife's side, and we would have never seen them grow up, except a visit every year if we could afford it. We obviously thought about how hard it was to leave our families, but nothing prepared us for the feelings in our stomachs when we got here.

Our families have both said not to come back and to give it time, and I could easily do a year here in Melbourne, earn quite a bit of money, take in an Ashes test and some Australian Open tennis when it comes around, but I wouldn't be fully happy if I am not spending the time with my family, and if my grandfather passed away while I was here, I would never forgive myself. I know we'd make friends, and the Australian people we have spoken to so far have been lovely (a police officer even pulled up to me today to tell me to park on the road facing the way the traffic was going as the council are picking up on this and fining people for it - this was lovely of him to tell me and it just wouldnt happen in UK), but no-one will love my son more than his grandparents and aunties and uncles do, so why not put him around the people who love him most? As I said, I could easily do a year here, but I know that the UK is where my heart is, so we have decided to move back now before we complicate things by renting our UK house out or buying a car here etc.

For the people who do move over here, like I said, from what we've seen, Australia is great. Our ideal life would be here, but with all our immeadiate family living here too (obviously never going to happen). And for the people who do move over, then you have my full respect to be able to deal with all of this and make the most of Australia.

So we have decided to book flights for Sunday and we are using the rest of the time we have here as a holiday. A bloody expensive one...

P.S - I need to say thank you to lots of BE members for help with all my questions previously in trying to obtain our visa.

And if you have made it to the end of this post, then you've done well. Either that or you are bloody bored!


Samneric

Re: 5 days???
 

Well, you have made your decision & I hope that in the long term, it turns out to be right for you.
Good luck:fingerscrossed:

Re: 5 days???
 

Unbelievable, your choice to do as you both think is right for you. Personally Tuesday - Sunday is hardly giving it a go. Most of us have extended families but it's your own family that matters most.

Re: 5 days???
 

Mate, I'm sorry to hear about your Grandfather. Totally understand why you're returning before you've had a chance to get settled.

What I would advise you though is that the feelings and reasons for wanting to emigrate won't have gone away, and I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourselves wanting to go back to Australia a bit later in life.

So don't close any doors or burn any bridges - any reasonable employer would accept your Grandfather's illness as a reason for delaying the move.

BB

Re: 5 days???
 

Good luck to you - go with the gut feeling and all the very best for your next step. I hope you guys didnt burn too many bridges with the euphoria of coming here and that you can redeem some of what you had. I think sometimes people do underestimate the benefits of extended family. Bon Voyage!

Re: 5 days???
 

Well i totally sympathise with you and your family - we managed 6 weeks in adelaide before we came home back to the uk. After 6 years of planning and saving money, for us to spend 6 weeks there and come back home- i still cant believe it!!!!
We have such an emotional time there. To cut along story short basically i met a family on british expats whom had just emigrated which i spoke to them regular for 18 months before we set off. We couldnt find short term rental so they offered to put us up when we gotr there til we did and after 6 days she kicked us out onto the streets. ME, MY HUBBY AND 3 CHILDREN!!!.
We had no money, no where to live, didnt know where to go or what to do. Me and my children were walking the streets at 7.30 in the morning sobbing our hearts out. Things just went downhill from there. My hubby had a breakdown, me kids were constantly crying so i did the only thing i thought was right, i took us all home back to the uk.

Re: 5 days???
 

Throwing you on to the streets, that is awful.

Is everything OK with your husband now?:(

Re: 5 days???
 

OMG! That's so unbelievable. I wouldn't care if you were the visitor from hell, I wouldn't see anyone out on the street!

Sorry that it tainted your move for you. :(

Re: 5 days???
 

Yes my hubby is ok now thanks for asking. He has settled back in the uk well along with my kids but its just me. I,m so full of anger and regret that we didnt stick it out after all the money we spent. I go to bed thinking about oz and wake up thinking about oz.
But the thing is to that when we lived with this family, i gave her money, paid my way, cooked and cleaned - yes my children were behaved but obviously apprehensive too. I have 3 girls aged 13, 11 and 2.

Had to sell my house in uk to pay my debts off from oz so now renting with no money and not a house of my own. i dont know how to pick myself up from this and move on!

Re: 5 days???
 

Well Tuesday to Sunday's not the fastest turn around there's been and there are many who will say it's not long enough but none of us are you or have your particular circumstance so all the best and just put it down to an expensive albeit short, holiday.

Hope your grandfather makes a good recovery.

Re: 5 days???
 

Not sure what to say but you do concern me when you say your 20 month old has dictated part of your return to the UK. That said, I don't know what's going on behind closed doors and if you are sure you are making the right decision then go for it.

Just be sure that it is the right one and that your wife doesn't need to just go back for a couple of weeks holiday.

Blimey, I remember shaking and feeling ill on the way into Perth. Nerves though.