funny emails and general chit chat.
- That was too close to comfort. 
Nov 19th 2007, 10:42 pm
#77
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 233
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
At least we know what Big Truck looks like now!
Nov 19th 2007, 10:53 pm
#79
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Posts: 2,527
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
I thought he looked quite fetching in that frock 
Nov 20th 2007, 8:13 am
#80
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,554
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
I'd do Shim....looks ok to me.
Better than what you used to get in Aldeshot on a Saturday night
By the way I now want to be called Davinia
Koogs aint you ex RCT !!!!! (Rickshaws Cabs & Taxis)
oh I so am I
Wheyyy Heyyy
Better than what you used to get in Aldeshot on a Saturday night
By the way I now want to be called Davinia
Koogs aint you ex RCT !!!!! (Rickshaws Cabs & Taxis)
oh I so am I
Wheyyy Heyyy
Nov 20th 2007, 1:35 pm
#81
Whatacomplete Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Posts: 2,527
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
No, never RCT.
Although, strangely, I did go to school with someone called Richard Shaw.
Nov 23rd 2007, 12:44 am
#82
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 386
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
Nov 23rd 2007, 3:26 pm
#83
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,554
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
Nov 23rd 2007, 11:53 pm
#84
PREPARED
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: summerside PE
Posts: 112
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.'The distressed owner wailed, 'Are
you sure?' 'Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead,' he replied.
How can you be so sure,' she protested.
'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.'
The vet rolled his eyes turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the Examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at
the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, looked at the bill.
'£150!',she cried.. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?'
The vet shrugged. 'I'msorry.' 'If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan It's now £150.
Nov 24th 2007, 11:17 am
#85
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 460
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would
see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a
lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there
would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch
hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?".
"I"m going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I"ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver
continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and
instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was
a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back
to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. Even though he was certain
he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding
where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn"t
see anything, he turned to the priest and said,
"I"m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
"That"s okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a
lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there
would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch
hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?".
"I"m going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I"ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver
continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and
instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was
a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back
to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. Even though he was certain
he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding
where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn"t
see anything, he turned to the priest and said,
"I"m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
"That"s okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
Nov 24th 2007, 4:15 pm
#86
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 386
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
Deleted item
Last edited by lilacheart; Nov 24th 2007 at 4:20 pm. Reason: The film wouldn't show
Nov 24th 2007, 8:43 pm
#87
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 460
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
Typical of the UK...
Nov 26th 2007, 4:12 pm
#88
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Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Wellington, Nova Scotia
Posts: 717
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
Once upon a time in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sauteed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't f*****g think so.
a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sauteed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't f*****g think so.
Nov 26th 2007, 5:06 pm
#89
Whatacomplete Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming
Posts: 2,527
Re: funny emails and general chit chat.
Once upon a time in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sauteed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't f*****g think so.
a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on lightly sauteed frog legs, seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't f*****g think so.
Tell us what happened to the prince she divorced to get the bloody castle in the first place.
Nov 26th 2007, 6:30 pm
#90
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Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Wellington, Nova Scotia
Posts: 717