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Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Old Jun 13th 2019, 11:29 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

To OP, I see nothing wrong with your plan. Only you know your sincerity and I wouldn’t care what others thought or said.
(American for 70 years and counting)
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 7:17 am
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by TexanScot View Post
My USC girlfriend is very lovely and I see a future with her, but I've made it crystal clear that she shouldn't expect a proposal until well after I'm done with my employer-sponsored AOS

If we ever do marry and anyone makes any insinuations, I want to be able to shut that conversation RIGHT DOWN.
Yeah, I get where you're coming from.

Originally Posted by ddsrph View Post
To OP, I see nothing wrong with your plan. Only you know your sincerity and I wouldn’t care what others thought or said.
(American for 70 years and counting)
The general consensus seems to be that as long as I'm sincere then there's not really a problem.

I suppose the next logical question is, how do I go about starting to meet people if I'm here in the UK (without of course travelling to the US, which I will be trying to do anyway as much as possible.)?
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 7:58 am
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by TexanScot View Post
My USC girlfriend is very lovely and I see a future with her, but I've made it crystal clear that she shouldn't expect a proposal until well after I'm done with my employer-sponsored AOS

If we ever do marry and anyone makes any insinuations, I want to be able to shut that conversation RIGHT DOWN.
My girlfriend will receive her ILR this summer - kept her on a Tier 2 visa for exactly that reason.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 9:51 am
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by ChronowerX_GT View Post
I suppose the next logical question is, how do I go about starting to meet people if I'm here in the UK (without of course travelling to the US, which I will be trying to do anyway as much as possible.)?
As you're about to move to the US, and will soon find yourself surrounded by USC's, I'd just wait until you get there personally. Hopefully the woman of your dreams will be right around the corner.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 10:55 am
  #20  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
The line, unfortunately, is with the foreigner who is seeking a love interest of a citizen from a country he wants to emigrate to in the future.
So, does that also apply to everyone who has a preference for some particular aspect in a partner? My niece was/is interested in black men. So when she was dating she would look for partners who were black. Is that crossing the line? I like tall men, so when I was dating I chose to date men over 6'. Crossing some imaginary line?

Looking for a partner who has a trait (nationality) you're interested in is not crossing any line. If the OP is interested in American women then he should look for an American partner.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 11:13 am
  #21  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

I suppose that's the beauty of being an individual. We're all different and not generic. I'm fairly short but not bothered if someone likes tall men because there's people out there who like shorter guys. I guess that's why a lot of people have 'types'.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 12:24 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by BritInParis View Post
My girlfriend will receive her ILR this summer - kept her on a Tier 2 visa for exactly that reason.
To prove a point to others? Why do you give a crap?
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 12:29 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by ChronowerX_GT View Post
.... I suppose the next logical question is, how do I go about starting to meet people if I'm here in the UK (without of course travelling to the US, which I will be trying to do anyway as much as possible.)?
Is there any other answer to that question other than "online"?

FWIW I have read that around a quarter of relationships in the US now start online.

Last edited by Pulaski; Jun 14th 2019 at 12:31 pm.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 12:37 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
Is there any other answer to that question other than "online"?

FWIW I have read that around a quarter of relationships in the US now start online.
I guess there's this:

1) Pick place at random on map of US
2) buy plane ticket
3) show up at local bar and talk as much as possible so they can hear your accent
4) hope someone of your gender of choice takes an interest

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Old Jun 14th 2019, 12:47 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by TexanScot View Post
..... If we ever do marry and anyone makes any insinuations, I want to be able to shut that conversation RIGHT DOWN.
​​​​​​
Originally Posted by tom169 View Post
To prove a point to others? Why do you give a crap?
This! And the same question to Texanscot.

And if you're concerned about what people think, as I think we all know, generally people are profoundly ignorant about the visa and immigration process, so unless you spend your time explaining you or your spouse's visa journey, aren't some people going to assume "they married for the visa" anyway? And quite frankly, the more you try to explain the nuts and bolts of how you/your spouse "stayed on a work visa until they obtained FLR/a green card", (as per above, a matter that is not really understood anyway) more it sounds like you're being overly defensive about your visa situation, and trying to explain it away.

In my experience the question of intention and sincerity has never arisen, and I assume that 19 years later it never will now. And to Tom's point, if anyone ever wondered but didn't ask, I don't give a crap.

And to Texanscot, there have been several people who posted here on BE, who were "staying on a work visa" but then got made redundant, or were about to be returned to the UK, and so were forced into the decision to switch to a spouse visa at short notice, and sometimes to get married to make that possible .... so at that point they have made the likelihood of people thinking "they married for the visa" much more likely, because in truth they really did, albeit with (presumably) a sincere underlying relationship.

Last edited by Pulaski; Jun 14th 2019 at 12:55 pm.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 1:35 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by civilservant View Post
I guess there's this:

1) Pick place at random on map of US
2) buy plane ticket
3) show up at local bar and talk as much as possible so they can hear your accent
4) hope someone of your gender of choice takes an interest ......
Pick US phone numbers at random and start calling people to ask if they'd like a date?

Last edited by Pulaski; Jun 14th 2019 at 1:45 pm.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by ChronowerX_GT View Post
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. This topic sounds a bit 'iffy but hear me out

So, me and my friend were talking, I live in the UK btw, and I was saying that I'd love to live in the US one day. I also said it would be great if I could find an American girl who I fell madly in love with, got married and lived happily ever after in the US.

My friend was like, "I can't believe you'd marry someone for a green card!"

I was like, "No, I'd never marry someone for a green card. I'd genuinely want her to be the person that I spend the rest of my life with and start a family. But whilst I'm young, free and single, what's the harm of saying that I'd like to find an American since I'm planning on moving there anyway?"

Just want to know what people's thoughts are on a topic like this. I could obviously cause a lot more complications meeting someone in Britain as, chances are, she wouldn't want to move and someone will end up unhappy.

EDIT: Sorry I think this might be in the wrong section of the forum since it doesn't relate to a visa specifically. Could an admin please move the topic to the appropriate place please if I've posted wrong. Thanks
It doesn't make any difference if others think your plan is a good one or a bad one. Do what you think is best for you, you're the one who'll be living with the consequences whether they be negative or positive.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 2:11 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by tom169 View Post
To prove a point to others? Why do you give a crap?
We don’t; we didn’t want the pressure of her immigration status tied to our relationship.
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by civilservant View Post
I guess there's this:

1) Pick place at random on map of US
2) buy plane ticket
3) show up at local bar and talk as much as possible so they can hear your accent
4) hope someone of your gender of choice takes an interest

That’ll will probably work surprisingly often
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Old Jun 14th 2019, 4:13 pm
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Default Re: Is It Wrong To Want To 'Look' For An American Girlfriend

Originally Posted by tom169 View Post
To prove a point to others? Why do you give a crap?
Because frankly, the little comments and and oh-so-clever digs are tiring, and it gets draining having to explain the intricacies of the immigration system over and over again.

Even now it's pretty dull whenever I try and explain the difference between a Green Card and Citizenship, or all the hoops my employer has to jump through to obtain PERM and sponsor me. It must be about 7 out of 10 times that the person asking the questions will say "Oh will you guys should just get married! That would be so much easier!".

Honestly we're not even at that point yet in our relationship and I just want to be able to say to anyone who ever questions it in the future "Well actually no, I got my Green Card through my employer".

I don't know your circumstances or if you've ever been in a similar situation, but take it from me that it gets pretty old, pretty fast.
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