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When a holiday isn't a holiday

When a holiday isn't a holiday

Old Apr 27th 2015, 8:43 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by WJS View Post
I personally believe that if you are the one that has left and moved to another country, it is your responsibility to visit family particularly parents. It certainly isn't their responsibility to bear the expense and make the difficult long journey because you have decided to leave! For me, I would never have expectations or place that responsibility on my parents.
But it also isn't necessary to drag the whole family over twice a year. I'm sure we all know people still in the UK who don't visit their folks that often!
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:12 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by WJS View Post
I personally believe that if you are the one that has left and moved to another country, it is your responsibility to visit family particularly parents. It certainly isn't their responsibility to bear the expense and make the difficult long journey because you have decided to leave! For me, I would never have expectations or place that responsibility on my parents.
I agree with this to a point - certainly when I left, I made a promise to myself not to lose touch for any reason, finances included, so when I looked at annual budgets, telephone and airfare were allowed for before I started frittering the rest away. Easy to say, because initially I was travelling back an insane amount for work, plus I was on a decent package, and I can easily see how the savings can become difficult, especially as families grow and airfares increase. All the more reason to set the expectations at an acceptable level for number of visits. That acceptable level is bound to be different for different folks.

I do know a lot of my Mams friends used to be amazed that she was so relaxed about us being so far away, but when they compared how often she saw us to how often the friends saw their kids who lived away in the UK, they realized that despite living half a world away, we spent more time together than the ones in, say, London, who made far less effort to get back to visit.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:12 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Nutmegger View Post
But it also isn't necessary to drag the whole family over twice a year. I'm sure we all know people still in the UK who don't visit their folks that often!
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:15 pm
  #34  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Bob View Post
Why not meet them in a third party country?
Now that Mam is no longer in the picture, I can see this being the way we will go. I already did a trip "back" to Ibiza to a nephews wedding last year, and tacked a week on just chilling in a villa with my sisters. Cracking time was had by all.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:23 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

We've been in the US for 4 years.
Our first trip home was a work trip for me so I only got a few days actually visiting. Second time was when my FIL passed away suddenly. We simply can't afford to go back more often and honestly I'd be reluctant to use all my precious vacation time to do it too. We have no expectations on family to come to us either but both the Mothers have been out as has my little sis .

But then we are moving back in August so ....
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:37 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Nutmegger View Post
But it also isn't necessary to drag the whole family over twice a year. I'm sure we all know people still in the UK who don't visit their folks that often!
I agree, two times a year from the US to the UK is a lot!

I was really replying to a few posts that mentioned parents never coming to visit. It is very expensive to fly from the US to the UK and vice versa and it must be difficult for many to even go every few years. But at the same time I cannot imagine feeling that my parents must come to visit me if it was my choice to move. It would be me that should in my opinion make the effort. That's all I was trying to say. Canveydave goes above and beyond!
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:39 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Canveydave View Post
They did indeed,

In fact I think it was 30 years ago, but they all go through the same one roundabout. You either use that one roundabout or swim!
Blimey - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canvey_Island!

The railway should have built a branch onto the island and terminate the Leigh-on-Sea trains there instead. In fact, it's an even better idea as time goes on.

Last edited by GeoffM; Apr 27th 2015 at 9:40 pm. Reason: No idea why 1972 is coming up twice - it's not in the URL and the edit page only shows one instance
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:45 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

I'm in the UK at the moment...second visit this year. It never feels like a holiday because the UK is home.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:52 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

It is interesting comparing the attitudes of different generations to migration. There are many examples in my own family.

1900s - eastern Europe to various places such as England, America, South Africa usually by boat generally considered one way never to see family again.

1960s - South Africa to England, Australia, America. Start of the jet age, might not see family ever again but there is a chance if they become well off enough to maybe visit one day.

2000s - England to America. Oh hey you want to pop over for the weekend, do some shopping in NYC?

My parents are retired now and are quite happy to visit once a year to see their grandson. We haven't been back since his birth due to the cost.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 9:57 pm
  #40  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Canveydave View Post
Unfortunately it shut a long time ago!

Canvey Island is a different place now!
Have not been down there for sometime, friends tell me Southend has gone down hill fast.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 10:03 pm
  #41  
 
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Boiler View Post
Have not been down there for sometime, friends tell me Southend has gone down hill fast.
I went to Southend when I was a Wolf Cub, 60 years ago and it was at the bottom of the hill then.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 10:15 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by GeoffM View Post
Blimey - 1972!

The railway should have built a branch onto the island and terminate the Leigh-on-Sea trains there instead. In fact, it's an even better idea as time goes on.
Sounds right we used to got to Battlesbridge first and then down the new road and that would have been 73/74 or so.
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 10:29 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

When we first moved here flights home once a year were included in our relo package so we went back in 2009, 2010 and 2011. Hubby has been back since then on business trips so he has seen a few folk. Once we were having to shell out for flights I suddenly realized that Hawaii was a much better option and went there instead in 2012 and 2014 We did a U.S. road trip in 2013.

We have had visitors come to us though and to be honest they would rather spend 2 weeks here with us in the sun than have a 1/2 day visit from us when we go back and NO it is definitely NOT a holiday going home, we actually did Christmas one year - never, ever again!
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 10:37 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by ChocolateBabz View Post

We have had visitors come to us though and to be honest they would rather spend 2 weeks here with us in the sun than have a 1/2 day visit from us when we go back and NO it is definitely NOT a holiday going home, we actually did Christmas one year - never, ever again!
We used to have a steady stream of visitors when we lived in Singapore. When we moved here, the stream became a trickle, and I put it down to folk not wanting to come to Houston, and I can understand that - while I like living here, it's not really high on the tourist agenda. But if you're still getting them, maybe its just us they don't want to see any more..........
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Old Apr 27th 2015, 10:47 pm
  #45  
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad View Post
We used to have a steady stream of visitors when we lived in Singapore.
Must admit that surprises me a bit. I've been there a few times and yes it's nice enough to visit... for a few days at a time but kind of been there and done that now. Colleagues at work used to hate it because they'd be holed up for months there working on the metro rail system.
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