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When a holiday isn't a holiday

When a holiday isn't a holiday

Old Apr 26th 2015, 3:10 am
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Default When a holiday isn't a holiday

Just a bit of a rant really and wondering if any others feel the same.

We are making our fist trip back to the UK next week.Officially this is a holiday, it ticks all the holiday boxes, two weeks off work, a long flight.

Even though we have lots of things planned and will be seeing lots of people, I just cannot get excited about it. I am a bit frustrated that I am using half my precious annual leave, and worried that for as long as we stay here in the US our only holidays will be going back to England, driving around the country seeing family and sleeping in peoples spare rooms.

We have really settled since we moved over and while it has been hard and I definitely could do with a rest, it feels like the next couple of weeks will not be a rest at all.

My inlaws won't fly so will never come and visit, so it is a given that we will go back to see them twice a year.

It's a bit annoying, there is a massive country here I want to see, but I just get the feeling we will be heading back to our little corner of Essex out of obligation all the time.

Anyone else have a similar situation? How do you deal with it??
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 5:15 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Visit the first few times, and if people are not willing to come see you, they can't expect you to use all your vacation time to visit them. Maybe do a visit home once a year or every other year and take trips elsewhere the other times.

Doesn't one of the cruise companies have ship between England and NY, if they won't fly will they take a ship over to visit?
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 5:29 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Sunday lunchtime at the Goldmine, say no more.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 5:59 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

You can't be expected to use most of your vacation and fly home twice a year, especially if people are not prepared to go to the effort of visiting you.

As you say, travelling around and staying with relatives in their spare rooms is hardly a relaxing time. Yes, its good to see family and friends but you need a vacation which is purely R&R too.

Go home once a year at most.

If it's the cost of the flight that prevents your in-laws from visiting how about making a Christmas gift of the tickets?
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 7:34 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Yeah, I understand that. If we went to Britain for a visit I would not stay with relatives. To much of a clash of lifestyles, even though on the surface we look so similar.

We would see if we could stay locally and visit daily. Then, we would stay the other week for a, 'jolly up', that would be the real holiday.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 8:43 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

We did this a couple of years ago. You're absolutely right not to expect it to feel like a holiday; that way you won't be disappointed. We made the best of it with our kids - we had 4 separate locations around the UK to visit, so for one set of grandparents, we rented caravans on a holiday camp in Norfolk so we could all play tourist together. That worked well enough. The rest was largely grim, sleeping in other people's houses, sometimes on air beds in the lounge. I'm quite introvert, and suffered from not having any time away from interacting with others, and having to be 'visiting' all the time. The kids got very unsettled, didn't react well to eating other people's (largely processed crap) meals, and spent most of the trip with upset stomachs.

Next time, we'll a cottage and have some of the relatives come and stay there with us, with breaks in between them.

Twice yearly is mad, BTW. We planned to go every other year , as we simply refuse to use all hubby's holiday and all our trip savings just going to England to sit in people's living rooms and drink tea. So it was England 2013, then campervanning Colorado road trip last summer. This summer should be England again, but we... um... sadly can't go as hubby got laid off from his job a bit ago. Oh dear. What a shame.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 10:31 am
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

I sympathise.

You're right, there's a lot to see in the US, if you haven't been already then put Hawaii on your list. It's a 10 hour flight from NYC but well worth it!

I am very fortunate in that I travel back to the UK every month so I get to see my family. If I didn't travel back to the UK for work then I'd travel back just for Christmas. Last year we did Xmas Eve in NYC and flew on the last flight out in the evening to do Xmas Day in the UK!
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 1:10 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

I think it's par for the course for anyone with a family. We basically didn't have any holidays for twenty years, what with family visits. Neither my parents nor my sister would deign to visit the USA. And staying in their houses was purgatory. Bit of a pity really, because now parents and MIL are gone, I'm too old to really enjoy a holiday.

I did visit the west coast once, in the 1970s, but since 1991 have pretty much seen small parts of New England and New York...
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 2:37 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Annual return trips to see in-laws in Essex ? Sounds like a recipe for conflict.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 2:59 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

I would go to the UK every couple of years. Just tell family that you have decided to explore other parts of the USA as there is so much of it, and it would be a shame not to do it while you're here.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

We had that experience a couple of times. Now we operate on "you come and see us" and then do what we want. We're going back soon, there is a get together planned one Saturday and outside of that we'll go places we want to go. Going back is much nicer now.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 5:39 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

I can completely empathize. We have only been here for just over 2 years, but have been back to the UK 4 times. Granted, one time was because my Father in law died, but our families have come to expect that we'll visit twice a year.

While I love my family there, visits are not exactly relaxing and we end up running about all over the place trying to fit everyone in. It is so hectic. I also hate having to stay over at people's houses, often in not very comfortable conditions.

This year we have just bought a house, so while we are flying to Scotland in the summer for my sister's wedding, we are not going back at Christmas, as we've done for the past two years. I know this will upset my family, but we have to think of our own family. It's particularly hard as my parents are getting old now and can't travel like they used to due to ill health.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 5:42 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

Originally Posted by Canveydave View Post
Just a bit of a rant really and wondering if any others feel the same.

We are making our fist trip back to the UK next week.Officially this is a holiday, it ticks all the holiday boxes, two weeks off work, a long flight.

Even though we have lots of things planned and will be seeing lots of people, I just cannot get excited about it. I am a bit frustrated that I am using half my precious annual leave, and worried that for as long as we stay here in the US our only holidays will be going back to England, driving around the country seeing family and sleeping in peoples spare rooms.

We have really settled since we moved over and while it has been hard and I definitely could do with a rest, it feels like the next couple of weeks will not be a rest at all.

My inlaws won't fly so will never come and visit, so it is a given that we will go back to see them twice a year.

It's a bit annoying, there is a massive country here I want to see, but I just get the feeling we will be heading back to our little corner of Essex out of obligation all the time.

Anyone else have a similar situation? How do you deal with it??
For all the reasons you noted our first family holiday back to the UK will not happen for many years.
The kids are too young to give a fig, none of us want to be sat inside an aeroplane for ours on end, the people who want to actually see us will come out and visit and I have no compunction to revisit any part of the UK at all (my wife even less so).
I've promised myself that any of the meagre vacation time that I accrue here will be spent on some proper R&R for us all.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 6:19 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

When my parents were alive, I visited the UK every two years -- and even though I was happy to spend time with them, no, it was not a holiday.
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Old Apr 26th 2015, 11:54 pm
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Default Re: When a holiday isn't a holiday

we hope to go back in July. first trip back in 8 years. my parents have been over here 3-4 times in that time but are getting elderly so cant make it to us very often - have not seen my mum in dad in 2-3 years now. but we cant afford to pay the 8k in airfares for us to go to england too often so i cant guess how many more years it will be before we go again!


i would NOT in your position go back twice a year. i cant even say id go back eery year.
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