British Expats

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-   -   True Friends. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/trailer-park-96/true-friends-671254/)

N1cky Jun 6th 2010 4:38 pm

Re: True Friends.
 
No, but after 2 years a couple of people are showing potential:fingerscrossed:

md95065 Jun 6th 2010 7:03 pm

Re: True Friends.
 
I tend to make "true friends" at a rate of about 1 every 4 or 5 years so, yes, after being here for 20+ years I do have some in the US ... :)

discoviking Jun 6th 2010 10:09 pm

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by Sugarmooma (Post 8615850)
Fort Davis is a very cool place to visit. Did you go to Marfa and see the "lights"???

It was a very cool place. We wanted to see the observatory, but when we went to get tickets, we were informed by the lady in charge of tickets that the road up the mountain was closed due to the 'blizzard' the night before. I can still remember the shock on her face when we told her we had already driven up in our Land Rovers during the 'snowstorm' the night before, but got there too late to take the tour.

We didn't go and see the "lights", but we did take a tour of the old fort. Then we had to move on the next day.

I wouldn't mind going back there one day, though.

shazza777 Jun 6th 2010 11:53 pm

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by cindyabs (Post 8614860)
I ask from personal experience, but are you living off post? If you are that could well have something to do with it. I experienced the same thing when we lived in VA-on post was fine, off post, no.

Yeah Cindy we live off post. I know people come and go all of the time but they are so anti social.

SultanOfSwing Jun 7th 2010 2:18 am

Re: True Friends.
 
I'm pretty quiet and introverted by nature, even back in the UK, only one of my friends in the 'really good mate' category was not someone I went to school with. I had a couple of good mates in uni, but lost touch after I dropped out. At work we'd all head out for a pint a lot but never really on nights other than weeknights.

So anyway, out here was even worse. Not outgoing by nature I didn't really seek to make friends anyway, but eventually became friendly with some parents from my son's school, and through the soccer program but none I'd really call best mates or anything. Had a few decent mates in work but they got laid off so I haven't seen them for a few years.

I hadn't met anyone I'd consider a 'best mate' until I started doing an acoustic set at the bar my father in law worked at. Usually I'd do my 1st set and then sit back in the corner by my gear it it was busy - only venturing out to the bar if there weren't many people in. Sad, I know but I'm probably way to reserved to be spending quite so much time on stage as it were.

Anyway, I did run into a fellow musician one night in there who kept on at me to come and join his band, and I eventually agreed and joined in 2008. He'd be someone I'd consider a true friend because we shared an interest and therefore had common ground when we went for a pint. I have less in common with people in work, or those I meet elsewhere so I find it difficult to talk to them much beyond 'how are you'. Inevitably the talk always turns to sport, and unless it's footy or snooker I am not interested! It's never footy or snooker of course . . .

cindyabs Jun 7th 2010 6:01 am

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by shazza777 (Post 8616733)
Yeah Cindy we live off post. I know people come and go all of the time but they are so anti social.

I THINK it's just because of that. People don't want to "get involved" with someone that's going to up and move in a couple of years. I'll never forget being introduced to someone at a neighborhood party and her acting like I had leprosy, :D Her comment when we were introduced-"oh, you're military, you move alot don't you, end of conversation,:lol: Mind this was before Iraq, and before being more open about appreciating the military became the norm.

I also say that because nobody ever said boo to me the whole time my ex was in Somalia or the hardship tour to Korea. Whereas, a point has been made the last few years to announce at our annual HOA meeting to look out for Mrs So and So, or Mrs Such and Such because the husband was deployed to Iraq.

SpoogleDrummer Jun 7th 2010 9:20 am

Re: True Friends.
 
I don't really have anything in common with people around here, I'm not into hunting and I know nothing about cars so I have sod all to talk to anyone about. Having said that I have no time to do anything anyways with a 1 year old son and a 5 month old daughter my spare time is non existent.

Octang Frye Jun 7th 2010 9:40 am

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 8615140)
No American friends - all complete flakes.

Don't blame them. Perhaps it's not them, it's you?

N1cky Jun 7th 2010 10:12 am

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by Octang Frye (Post 8617947)
Don't blame them. Perhaps it's not them, it's you?

Most people in LA are flakey though. They say they will be somewhere at a certain time, and then just don't show up.

When you ask them its always 'something else came up, I was just so busy running Jaxon to soccer practice and Trixie wouldn't stop bawling that she wanted some new jeans, calling at Starbucks, Trader Joes then I just HAD to call by the cleaners, and my phone never stopped and yada ya ya ya', my life is so much more important than yours....

The few American people I am starting to call friends in LA are not from LA, and they seem to agree natives are just a 'mare.

Dudette Jun 7th 2010 10:33 am

Re: True Friends.
 
I have two people in the US that I would call true friends and they are old friends of my husbands. When my son was born, they drove over 3 hours in the snow to bring us some things for him, they were the only ones made any effort to come our little guy in the NICU, family didn't even make the effort.

So yeah although they were my Hubbys friends for about 20 years, they are now good friends to me too. I guess I got lucky there :)

Sally Redux Jun 7th 2010 12:36 pm

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by N1cky (Post 8618027)
Most people in LA are flakey though. They say they will be somewhere at a certain time, and then just don't show up.

When you ask them its always 'something else came up, I was just so busy running Jaxon to soccer practice and Trixie wouldn't stop bawling that she wanted some new jeans, calling at Starbucks, Trader Joes then I just HAD to call by the cleaners, and my phone never stopped and yada ya ya ya', my life is so much more important than yours....

The few American people I am starting to call friends in LA are not from LA, and they seem to agree natives are just a 'mare.

Loads of people from outside the area comment on it, indeed, so no I don't think it's me.

Are you meeting the friends through work? :thumbup:

N1cky Jun 7th 2010 1:41 pm

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 8618289)
Loads of people from outside the area comment on it, indeed, so no I don't think it's me.

Are you meeting the friends through work? :thumbup:

Yep

MandyNi Jun 7th 2010 7:09 pm

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by N1cky (Post 8618027)
Most people in LA are flakey though. They say they will be somewhere at a certain time, and then just don't show up.

When you ask them its always 'something else came up, I was just so busy running Jaxon to soccer practice and Trixie wouldn't stop bawling that she wanted some new jeans, calling at Starbucks, Trader Joes then I just HAD to call by the cleaners, and my phone never stopped and yada ya ya ya', my life is so much more important than yours....

The few American people I am starting to call friends in LA are not from LA, and they seem to agree natives are just a 'mare.


Wow that's just rude, wouldn't be bothered with anyone who did that more than once. Funny though I have quite a few friends in the LA area who I met online through various interest groups and they are great. Will definitely be seeing them again when I get there.

Maybe that's the thing - where there is a common interest then it's much easier!?

Stacey p Jun 8th 2010 1:47 am

Re: True Friends.
 

Originally Posted by Ash UK/US (Post 8614345)
Would you say you have true friends in the US? I don't mean someone you hang out with when your invited to tag along or people you only see at work. I mean the kind of person you will know will be there for you when you need them?

I have worked at the same company for 6 years now and it has taken untill the last 12-18 months to say that I true friends that are beyond just people I work with. It was a long haul.

We have been in CT for 6 months and we have made some really good freinds that I could see us keeping in touch with when the time comes to go home. (and would defo bail us out the clink at 4am for what was it, peeing behind a dustbin lol). It helps that we have kids the same age ect......but we just seem to have clicked, and they have been a godsend!

But I know people who have moved over have not had the same experience. And have said they would say they have friends, but not true friends.....or they feel there is always a barrier, so you cant get too close. I think sometimes people will stop and chat here just because they feel they should be polite and its not so genuine, where as at home we talk to people when we actually want a conversation.....or maybe we are just not so polite lol.

I could be wrong? or it could be that I have come from a city and am now living more rural, where everybody knows each other?

Tom60 Jun 8th 2010 8:07 pm

Re: True Friends.
 
A lot of it has to do with location. Overall, though, Brits are probably more welcome here than Americans are in the UK. But like I said, location is a factor. People where I live are not friendly to strangers at all, and for good reason.


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