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Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Old May 21st 2018, 8:29 pm
  #1  
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Default Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

A retired cop friend moved from Colorado to Arizona. He done opened his screen door and there was a rattler. He squirted it with a hose and the sumbit done get up and attacked him.
He fled into the house and took pictures with his camera.
It turns out it was either a blow snek or a hognose snek, accordin' to the 80 year old old-timer who lives next door. Anyways, his dogs went to "rattlesnake avoidance school". That really is a thing.

Now, I seen some things in my time. I seen alligators on the golf course in Hilton Head. We got the prairie dogs here that's carrying the Plague. The Black Death.
We got black widows - a co-worker brought two in from his garage in a picklin' jar - a big female and a little fella who was doin' his best to keep outta her way.
We got the Hanta virus mouse poo in the old shacks. We got the brown (reckler) recluse spider. He bite yer and yer don't know it till your skin and flesh rots and sloughs off.
We got rattlers here, but I only ever seen 'em dead on the road. I did see a big stick in the middle of the pathway as I was flying downhill on my mountain bike. As I got closer, I saw it was a big snek and I was going so fast I couldn't stop and had to bunny hop it.
Y'all aint never seen someone jump four feet vertically. Weren't no rattler mind. Probably one of those bull sneks. All five feet of him.

My missus made me get out of the canoe in Wekiwa Springs in Florida, and it was much too deep, and I went under the canoe and there was a sumbit' gator right there. I don't know if I was more ascairt of the gators or the brain-eating amoebas.
I seen a big ol' brown snek in South Carolina when I was getting in my kayak. Six feet if he were an inch. Most certain that was a water moccasin.

And then there's the absolute worst of the worst. Millipedes. House centipedes.'Roaches and palmetto bugs. I once stomped on one in Hilton Head that was so big, when I lifted my foot, he just turned round and shook his little fist at me.
Now last year, we had them pesky hornets makin' a nest on the front gate in the split rail. They'd up and sting yer if you even glanced in their direction. After being stung so many times, I made my plan and I got 'em. Tarnation!
I waited til nighttime, and then dressed in a leather jacket, ski helmet, goggles, facemask and heavy leather gloves, and I done sprayed the motherlode of WD40 on the nest. I aint sorry, I reckon they had it comin.

We got the rabid coons here in Colorado. The rabies. The foaming death. Nasty business. Aint but one person been cured of the rabies once they got it; Jeanne Geise.
I heard tell they got pythons and real crocs down in Florida. Angry croc'll rip your arm off.

Back in the old country, a fella aint gotta worry about nothing but the adder and the bumblin' bee. They gives a nasty sting but it won't kill yer.

What's the worst/scariest daddgum critter you've encountered?

Last edited by Octang Frye; May 21st 2018 at 8:33 pm.
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Old May 21st 2018, 8:49 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

My wife.

Actually the nastiest things arent big. The pretty 2 inch long cone shell we have locally - you pick up the pretty shell on the beach and slowly the critter inside pushes out his fang and stings you, and you might have a bad finger or might well die.

Of course the most dangerous place has always been australia where everything wants to kill you. They have a tiny jellyfish [5mm long] called irukandji that killed people for decades before it was found, incredibly toxic and so small you dont notice it till it just scratches you then your heart stops. Its supposed to be the most toxic creature on the olanet. Oh and they have the box jellyfish too....
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Old May 21st 2018, 9:01 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Yeah, Australia. Not even once. The Gympie Gympie plant causes so much pain - sometimes years - that people are said to have committed suicide.
I heard the box jelly fish kills you through drowning; you scream and inhale the water.

My most amazing experience was swimming with a 13ft tiger shark, just feet away.
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Old May 21st 2018, 10:12 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Shortly after we arrived in SC, we went on a local eco-tour. The guides proceeded to tell us about the poisonous spiders and snakes, the alligators, the sharks, the fire-ants, the jelly fish, stingrays etc. Looking down at my 3 young children who knew of nothing more harmful than a wasp sting, i asked if there was one thing i should worry about, what would it be? 'Oysters' came the answer. Sure enough, 6 yrs later and despite seeing alligators, a black widow spider, a rattlesnake, copperhead and water mocassin, the only trip to the urgent care has been because of oysters. The shells are razor sharp and any fall (or jump) into the water round here can result in sliced flesh.
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Old May 21st 2018, 11:04 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Bears and mountain lions are about the most dangerous in this region, don't see to many in the city of Vancouver but the city's that sit at the bottom of the local mountains are likely to see bears March to October and sometimes even in winter as if it warms earlier then normal the bears will come out earlier. Cougars are not as common but still spotted at times.

In the city itself raccoons and skunks and coyotes but they are not much of a threat to humans, although coyotes will take cats and dogs as an easy meal.

Mountain Lions and Bears are the biggest threat to humans in these parts, the interior part of BC has rattlesnakes but the coast is rattlesnake free I believe.

Rattle snakes won't attack unless provoked, such as spraying water on them with a hose, or stepping on them, they won't go out of their way to waste venom and attacking a human just to attack.

In AZ they will hang out near doors and even try and get inside to escape the heat, even coldblooded animals need a break from AZ heat..lol
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Old May 21st 2018, 11:36 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Cougar kills cyclist in Seattle, injures another.

A little while ago a woman left a Starbucks and went hiking and was attacked and killed by wolves. Trying to remember where that took place. Somewhere in the PNW.
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Old May 21st 2018, 11:59 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Swimming in the ocean dropping cray pots off the Western Australia coast, I saw a grey fin speeding towards me.
In the split second it took for me to realise that it was only a dolphin, I though I was a goner.

Have encountered many tiger snakes and dugites while camping in the bush, I don't bother them and they don't bother me.

Bitten once by a red back spider, they love dark places such as sheds and garages. Was only in hospital overnight.

Avoided having my hand/arm bitten off by a salt water crocodile in NW Western Australia, but only because someone was paying attention and sounded the warning (not me). I was in a small boat travelling through Geikie Gorge, and was dangling my hand in the water. This is an exceedingly stupid thing to do in salty territory, and I wasn't even drunk.

Relatives and friends have had various tangles with all sorts of wildlife, from box jellyfish, to cane toads, blue ringed octopus, stonefish, wild pigs and a huge red boomer (male kangaroo).

I love Australia, it's never boring
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Old May 22nd 2018, 12:11 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

What about the Australian Hoon? I heard they're quite dangerous. Bikies.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 12:18 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Originally Posted by Octang Frye View Post
What about the Australian Hoon? I heard they're quite dangerous. Bikies.
Hoons are young males who like to plant their foot when driving their souped up cars, I don't think they're indigenous to Australia!
Outlaw bikie gangs don't cause much trouble, there's the odd incident but always between rival gangs rather than involving the general public.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 10:39 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Hoons are young males who like to plant their foot when driving their souped up cars, I don't think they're indigenous to Australia!
Outlaw bikie gangs don't cause much trouble, there's the odd incident but always between rival gangs rather than involving the general public.
I've been here over 12 years, nothing's tried to kill me yet. I feel slightly disappointed.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 10:50 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
I've been here over 12 years, nothing's tried to kill me yet. I feel slightly disappointed.

But are you sure nothings thought about it...

They say a cat just wants to eat the people it luives with. In the caribbean, domestic cats are endangered species, cars dogs and even mongoose will have a go, so my neighbour bought a bigger cat, a serval - freely obtainable from venezuela. Its about 2 feet tall, and a nice purrry pussycat, except, it has big claws and teeth, sleeps in trees sometimes and definitely stalks humans. . Its occasionally silently followed me round the place. I think it knows its too small to hurt me, and is following its nature, but a little child - less sure. I know it has killed with apparent ease an aggressive dog twice its size, cats make dogs look very clumsy when hunting.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 10:52 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
I've been here over 12 years, nothing's tried to kill me yet. I feel slightly disappointed.
Go for a swim in Geikie Gorge, you won't be disappointed anymore. You'll be dead, but not disappointed.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 10:58 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Correction - its an ocelot, im told you can have a margay or an ocelot but the ocelots bigger and not endangered.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 11:33 am
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Go for a swim in Geikie Gorge, you won't be disappointed anymore. You'll be dead, but not disappointed.
I'll give it a miss. Before I moved here I was told everything would eat or bite me. A few mozzie bites later, I haven't even seen a life threatening animal or insect. Oh wait, I've seen some drop bears, I just didn't stand underneath one.
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Old May 22nd 2018, 6:24 pm
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Default Re: Sumbit' rattler rennum frumfer - the critter thread

We have a broken window pane in the basement which I've patched up with duct tape. We know when the duct tape has got loose because the cats sing the song of their people and in the morning we find a dead mouse out in the hallway (or one time memorably in the bathroom sink, the cat could only have tossed it up there).
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