Success
Feb 5th 2019, 5:46 pm
#16
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Success
I'm a contractor that works for the government. So no pension (and no back-pay from the furlough). But I get what you're saying. I've been on sexy, cutting edge projects, high profile, you're expected to work 60 hours a week.
That there's something noble about it. Recruiters call and say, hey, this is a start-up environment! There's beer in the office! Table tennis! Scooters! We work hard and play hard.
Yeah, maybe if I was 25-35 again. But I'm 45. My job is fairly low stress, convenient (5 mile drive), and I have time to help out with my wife's business.
I am very grateful for my life and blessings. It's just some minor regrets to not have written the Great American novel or got a PhD or an MD or a JD or built the next big thing. Or learn the piano 25 years ago.
Very well put, Rete. Jsmth321, I was in a similar place to you until recently. Renting - being scolded by an assholish realtor guy (sent round my then landlord to assess the place for sale) for not being on the property ladder "at my age".
I was resigned to being a bachelor etc. Then I met my wife (had known her for a long time) and we got married. Travel. Life is easier for sure when you have someone to share it with.
That there's something noble about it. Recruiters call and say, hey, this is a start-up environment! There's beer in the office! Table tennis! Scooters! We work hard and play hard.
Yeah, maybe if I was 25-35 again. But I'm 45. My job is fairly low stress, convenient (5 mile drive), and I have time to help out with my wife's business.
I am very grateful for my life and blessings. It's just some minor regrets to not have written the Great American novel or got a PhD or an MD or a JD or built the next big thing. Or learn the piano 25 years ago.
Very well put, Rete. Jsmth321, I was in a similar place to you until recently. Renting - being scolded by an assholish realtor guy (sent round my then landlord to assess the place for sale) for not being on the property ladder "at my age".
I was resigned to being a bachelor etc. Then I met my wife (had known her for a long time) and we got married. Travel. Life is easier for sure when you have someone to share it with.
Feb 5th 2019, 6:23 pm
#17
Peace onion
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 5,686
Re: Success
Oh, another thought. I was contacted out of the blue by this girl I used to to school with, and we'd walk home together from the bus stop.
I think we had mild crushes on each other. Anyway, she lived in the epitome of a middle-class four bedroom house, nice car, all the trappings etc.
Our family didn't have much money, we lived in a little house, I had a tiny bedroom. But I wouldn't change my childhood for anything. Happy home.
Turns out this girl's dad used to beat her. Resented spending any money on her or her brother. She wasn't even allowed to have the heating on in her room.
I used to think she had this idyllic middle class life; you just never know.
I think we had mild crushes on each other. Anyway, she lived in the epitome of a middle-class four bedroom house, nice car, all the trappings etc.
Our family didn't have much money, we lived in a little house, I had a tiny bedroom. But I wouldn't change my childhood for anything. Happy home.
Turns out this girl's dad used to beat her. Resented spending any money on her or her brother. She wasn't even allowed to have the heating on in her room.
I used to think she had this idyllic middle class life; you just never know.
Feb 5th 2019, 7:21 pm
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Success
FWIW
I had a fairly successful career in high tech; That's what led me here. Top of the world feeling and all that.
However 911, the economy crashed..and after living here for a year and a half I was laid off by voicemail and invited to go home as I didn't have permanent residence.
Fortunately I had the future Mrs H who took pity on me
Had a few decent jobs since but when I reached 50 I ended up on the scrap heap and no-one wanted to know. Very depressing...
Started my own business..scientific...been fantastic ever since...wish I'd done it long ago. I recommend it if you have the itch.
(It's the thing that's stopping me going home unless I can figure out how to run it from the UK. Still...first world problems...)
I had a fairly successful career in high tech; That's what led me here. Top of the world feeling and all that.
However 911, the economy crashed..and after living here for a year and a half I was laid off by voicemail and invited to go home as I didn't have permanent residence.
Fortunately I had the future Mrs H who took pity on me
Had a few decent jobs since but when I reached 50 I ended up on the scrap heap and no-one wanted to know. Very depressing...
Started my own business..scientific...been fantastic ever since...wish I'd done it long ago. I recommend it if you have the itch.
(It's the thing that's stopping me going home unless I can figure out how to run it from the UK. Still...first world problems...)
Last edited by Hotscot; Feb 5th 2019 at 7:23 pm.
Feb 6th 2019, 8:03 pm
#19
BE Site Lead
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: MA, USA
Posts: 92,170
Re: Success
Success is still waking up in the morning, I guess 
Feb 7th 2019, 2:27 pm
#21
Austin. TX.
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 5,930
Re: Success
My kids are happy,healthy and doing what they enjoy.
At the end of the day, that is what I will leave behind and for me, job done. I don't think anything else really matters.
At the end of the day, that is what I will leave behind and for me, job done. I don't think anything else really matters.
Feb 7th 2019, 4:09 pm
#22
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Re: Success
I don't spend much time worrying about what my friends from school and uni did with their lives, but I don't know of any who did spectacularly well, though one or two get quoted in niche media as experts in their field. One friend went to Oxford, but is now a factory H&S officer, so an unremarkable career, another did poorly at GCSE, pretty much failed his A Level's (grades E, O, & F!!!), but ended up with a PhD from Cambridge, and is now a research scientist with several niche business interests as well as his continuing academic career; he doesn't appear to be wealthy though, and gets taxed through the nose in the country where he chose to make his home. Another school friend is a barrister, but not a high-flyer, apparently doing a lot of his work on legal aid, defending petty crooks.
Against that backdrop, I think I am doing OK, especially compared to a friend who died a few months after he was found to have a brain tumour, the best man at my wedding who died unexpectedly a few years later at home from an undiagnosed brain aneurysm, and a friend from uni who was reportedly a "millionaire businessman" when he was allegedly murdered by being hit by a car, allegedly after being set up by his wife, who was apparently his sole heir!
The last heard was that his estate was eventually determined to be worth a lot less than the seven figures previously claimed. 
Against that backdrop, I think I am doing OK, especially compared to a friend who died a few months after he was found to have a brain tumour, the best man at my wedding who died unexpectedly a few years later at home from an undiagnosed brain aneurysm, and a friend from uni who was reportedly a "millionaire businessman" when he was allegedly murdered by being hit by a car, allegedly after being set up by his wife, who was apparently his sole heir!
The last heard was that his estate was eventually determined to be worth a lot less than the seven figures previously claimed.
Last edited by Pulaski; Feb 7th 2019 at 4:56 pm.
Feb 7th 2019, 4:31 pm
#23
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Success
I remember there was one guy who I thought of aa a bot of a hell raiser who some years later was told have become a Roman Catholic Priest, no idea why.
Maybe he is a Cardinal now?
Maybe he is a Cardinal now?
Feb 11th 2019, 10:33 pm
#24
Democracy advocate
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,460
Re: Success
Last Friday, I caught up with a couple of friends I used to work with when we all worked together at a telecoms provider in the UK.
We did an apprenticeship with the company and it put us through uni.
So, it turns out, one of the guys founded a software company in Poland that employs 300 people. Another guy - wickedly good software engineer/hacker - got into BitCoin and set up a trading site and is now a multi millionaire.
Another guy I used to work with was the director of WebMD. And here I am, in my little (low stress) government job, thinking, wow, I'm a loser/under-achiever.
Was it Gore Vidal that said, "every time a friend succeeds, a little part of me dies inside"?
I genuinely am happy for their success, but I do feel a tinge of jealousy. I'm counting my blessings though. I have a lovely wife. A son. A house. Dogs. We travel.
How do you define success?
We did an apprenticeship with the company and it put us through uni.
So, it turns out, one of the guys founded a software company in Poland that employs 300 people. Another guy - wickedly good software engineer/hacker - got into BitCoin and set up a trading site and is now a multi millionaire.
Another guy I used to work with was the director of WebMD. And here I am, in my little (low stress) government job, thinking, wow, I'm a loser/under-achiever.
Was it Gore Vidal that said, "every time a friend succeeds, a little part of me dies inside"?
I genuinely am happy for their success, but I do feel a tinge of jealousy. I'm counting my blessings though. I have a lovely wife. A son. A house. Dogs. We travel.
How do you define success?
Nothing worse than old friends doing well*, shows up one's own failures.
(* well being financial, health, happiness or whatever else they are doing "better" than me with)
Feb 12th 2019, 2:18 am
#25
I approved this message
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,425
Re: Success
I define financial success as:
- Being able to shop at Whole Foods whenever I want. Including cashew butter.
- Being able to afford to put out trash containers with stickers despite the fact that one of the cans is only partially full.
- Springing for a slightly larger than needed furnace when the core of the last one cracked, because heat is good.
- LL Bean bathrobe? Yeah, I have two.
- The ability to pay for the kid's medical appointments, because I have insurance. That's right.
- New tires for the Mazda... when there's still 3mm of tread left on the old ones. Because that's how I roll, also because snow.
Feb 12th 2019, 4:45 am
#26
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,138
Re: Success
I define financial success as:
- Being able to shop at Whole Foods whenever I want. Including cashew butter.
- Being able to afford to put out trash containers with stickers despite the fact that one of the cans is only partially full.
- Springing for a slightly larger than needed furnace when the core of the last one cracked, because heat is good.
- LL Bean bathrobe? Yeah, I have two.
- The ability to pay for the kid's medical appointments, because I have insurance. That's right.
- New tires for the Mazda... when there's still 3mm of tread left on the old ones. Because that's how I roll, also because snow.
Where does 'hate' come into this discussion?
Feb 12th 2019, 7:09 am
#27
Democracy advocate
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,460
Re: Success
I define financial success as:
- Being able to shop at Whole Foods whenever I want. Including cashew butter.
- Being able to afford to put out trash containers with stickers despite the fact that one of the cans is only partially full.
- Springing for a slightly larger than needed furnace when the core of the last one cracked, because heat is good.
- LL Bean bathrobe? Yeah, I have two.
- The ability to pay for the kid's medical appointments, because I have insurance. That's right.
- New tires for the Mazda... when there's still 3mm of tread left on the old ones. Because that's how I roll, also because snow.
Feb 12th 2019, 7:09 am
#28
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: Success
I define financial success as:
- Being able to shop at Whole Foods whenever I want. Including cashew butter.
- Being able to afford to put out trash containers with stickers despite the fact that one of the cans is only partially full.
- Springing for a slightly larger than needed furnace when the core of the last one cracked, because heat is good.
- LL Bean bathrobe? Yeah, I have two.
- The ability to pay for the kid's medical appointments, because I have insurance. That's right.
- New tires for the Mazda... when there's still 3mm of tread left on the old ones. Because that's how I roll, also because snow.
Feb 12th 2019, 12:32 pm
#29
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Re: Success
Feb 12th 2019, 12:39 pm
#30
Heading for Poppyland
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 14,533
Re: Success
Maybe in some towns/cities you have to pay for stickers, one sticker per bin? Certainly sounds a bit bureaucratic..