karin_and_boys

Having spent 5 years in the U.S and one year back in UK, OH has got a (good) job offer back in U.S. Same place, kids back to same schools etc.
My gut tells me we should stay here (boys are 13 and 12) But I know OH wants to go back.
Financially both places work out almost the same, even factoring in for college education for the boys in US versus free here

How ridiculous would it be to go back and try it again for a year? If everything goes pearshaped OH will try to get a job and come back. Will try to roll school places forward a year (I finally got therm places this year in the school of my choice)

Though my gut tells me its safer to stay here, I am reluctant to let this chance go.

Though I think its so unfair to inflict this on the kids.

Anyone ever done this crazy level of ping ponging before?

Mummy in the foothills

I haven't moved my kids at that age I did it a lot earlier, we have chose to wait till the end of high school for Ds for moving, Dd will still only be 7 and move more easily.
12 and 13 already into high school wouldn't be my choice to move, I'd be doing it kicking and screaming. Anyway you could keep the UK house and stay there with the kids then going to US for all the school breaks for a year? Dh could rent a 2 bed apartment and that would give room for visits. Then re assess in a year as to whether he's moving back to UK?

manamama

Yikes Karin...did you not make the decision to go?

Are you able to change your mind now still ?

I know it's a dilemma...but seems that what you have in the UK is great..family and good schools. 12 and 13 are such tender ages and ping ponging is not very stablising for pre-teens. They need to root.

I have a soon to be 12 year old and we are in a rush to return to the UK so that she can join a secondary school and settle..in terms of socially and educationally till she finishes her education. No disruptions hopefully !

charleygirl

karin, as a mum of three teenagers who left it to late to move back and i have been miserable for years I know that once mine where on High school that was it, and even now the last two just graduated, they would hate me if I said okay time to go home because for them this is home. it will be so hard to get them to leave.
Good luck, for me it is a no brainer stay where you are.
p.s I moved here for my husband, very bad move for me to not stick up for myself and say no, 13 years of regret.

karin_and_boys

Thanks everyone, for your replies. Yes, moving once kids are teens is not ideal. I am clutching at straws I think trying to keep everyone happy and make this work out somehow.

You know how sometimes it seems people are desperately trying to get to the U.S but yet we have an opportunity handed to us which we are turning down? Kind of makes me wonder if we will regret it. But you know the material things we had in the U.S never really meant much to me, I don't miss the big house or cars or anything. I feel life is so much richer here.

Lestagirl, do you think you will come back someday?

charleygirl

You wrote
" I think things are so much richer here"
I think that answers it all for you Karen, I wrote about my situation in the 50s 60s thread, we have a big house 4 cars between 5 of us but I would give it up for my old life, waiting for a bus to go to town, a walk to the pub...
Karin I sent you a PM.

SDDep

I think you hit the nail on the head...

I'd take a walk to the pub, bus into town...newsagents down the street...chippy or chinese on the corner...nice little terrace house...

Oh well

Mummy in the foothills

I'll move in next door, sounds great

karin_and_boys

Sounds lovely, like coronation street almost!

SDDep

go with your gut...

eurotramp

I just went through he same..hubby had a very good job offer in Norfolk/US..big house by the beach...warm weather and the rest of it. We have two girls from 12 and 15 and I decided against it. I would have done it if the girls would have been younger, but I feel its to late now to drag the 15 year old out of here education here and finish it up in the US..plus I never have lived in the US and was not sure about it anyhow.

We will move to Somerset now instead

For you it should be easier you already have lived there and would now were you prefer to live..do what feels right for your family at this point.

slidingbyee

Echo that sentiment. So thats two of us both in San Diego where the sun shines a perfect 70F nearly all year around yet we both would trade for a walk to a decent pub, decent conversation, newsagents, chippy etc...

What does that tell you. Stay where your gut tells you to.

I'll be back when I can get up the guts.

charleygirl

Hi karin I was wondering what you decided on? Stay or go?

karin_and_boys

Still here, but still in the decision process....Even though we thought we needed to decide like 2 weeks ago, some parameters changed and here we still are.
I have sent you a pm....thanks for asking about me.

natashaloder

What do the kids think? They are old enough to have a say, even if you over-rule them.