Tegwyn

Just over 30 years here myself with a short stint in Canada prior. If that is the part that gets to you I do understand it. Both my parents, my in-laws (MIL this year in fact) and many aunts, uncles , a few cousins and friends has passed on from either ill health, age related, or unexpected events. If anything, you appreciate life is fragile and finite and our time shared together is limited. Sometimes a scary mix and that may also have a dose of reflecting on your own mortality. Once we felt we had eternity and suddenly as age creeps up, we don't. Perhaps you have some unfinished business you need to address. Write a journal of your thoughts but do not read it for a good couple of weeks until you feel better, and then go through it. You may be surprised to see a certain issue/concern that keeps popping up that you have not fully acknowledged yet.


If all else fails, have a gin and tonic. I am right now. Bottoms up!

sir_eccles

To echo a couple of other posters. There is nothing wrong in going to a therapist. Sometimes just having an uninvolved third party to listen to what you have to say can be a useful unburdening process (strangers on the Internet are not a safe venue Imho).

Alan17

Just got back to CA last night after a 5 day business/personal trip to London and Aberdeen respectively. Very happy to be home (to the US), nice to see people in the UK but zero "home"sickness.

On the contrary I always have these thoughts of a "Revolution" style disaster that would prevent me leaving.....

AnnieBelle

I can definitely relate. I haven't been home yet, and I still call England my home, since we moved here but I am dying to go back and see my family and friends. My sister came and visited me in march and after she left I was a wreck. I could not stop crying and I felt really depressed. It took me maybe a month to be back to normal somewhat. I find it very hard being away from my family and to think that I am always going to feel that is very difficult. I really feel your pain. I cope by face timing and I use what's app a lot so I can message my sister often, it also helped that I went back to work straight away and that kept me busy. I think that once I get to go home I will feel the same way you do when I have to leave. I am not sure some days if I can cope with the constant sadness I feel but my husband is so much happier here and I feel torn. I don't want to take that away from him.

I hope you start to feel more normal soon. Make sure you keep busy that will help.

Derrygal

I really believe that men seem to settle better in the US than women do. My ex-husband (husband when we moved here 24 years ago) loves it here. Me - I can take it or leave it - only really stayed here because I have adult children and grand-children here. Most men are more career-minded while most women are family oriented. I know many people will probably say it's a sexist comment - but it isn't meant to be. I miss my family although both my parents are gone now, but I have siblings back in the UK. The US will never be my home.

To the original poster - I think you could well be suffering from depression and it might be a good idea to see a medical professional. That said - it is normal to feel sad with the aging process and look back on how things were in the past, etc. I find myself doing that a lot (I'm 61) but I have to pull myself out of it and make the best of things here and try to look forward. It isn't always easy though.

Sally Redux

Yes, I was going to say something similar.

Jensmate

Thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. x

Moonbeamzz

Hi Mamasue, my wife and I are Australians and we are looking to do the same thing (winter in S E Asia, Malaysia to be precise). We are heading off next week to spend a month just bumming around in Kuching and Melaka which are both Malaysian cities. Which part do you go to and how do you go about getting short term accommodation, most agents in Malaysia want longer than a few weeks for apartment stays.
Cheers
Moonbeamzz

mamasue

We usually fly to Bangkok ..stay a couple of weeks, then go off to either Malaysia, Vietnam, Laos, tried Hong Kong last time and hated it....stay for a week or 2 in each place.....always in hotels....We do a week in cities and a week on a beach if we can....
We always end with 4-5 weeks in Cambodia, back to Bangkok for a few days shopping before we fly back.
We do at least 3-4 countries for each trip. We're currently planning this year... and want to go to Bali too, and maybe hop over to Australia for a week or so.

SultanOfSwing

I'm about to head over to the UK next week. This time I am more worried that I won't miss the UK when I get back here.

I know that's really supposed to be a good thing but I can't help feeling like I will feel bad about it, if it happens.

Jensmate

Feeling so much better about being here now. I do believe that as I age, I have more trouble getting over the trips. Perhaps it is a side effect of jet lag? I slept on and off for 2 days, feel VERY rested and raring to go again. Depression/jet lag - whatever it was it has vanished.
Thank God!

Sally Redux

Surely that's better? As long as you don't turn into one of those who has to trash your home country at every opportunity.
Great!

SultanOfSwing

It is better but I'll still feel bad about it

MMcD

That's good to hear - and hope it's really the case.
You can see - people here were quite concerned.

I'd imagine getting back into your customary, structured USA routine (including returning to work etc.) was key in overcoming your depression.

What happened to you might serve as a reminder next time you go back - as to what to possibly anticipate when you return here. And knowing a couple of nights of sleep will set you straight - should be a reassurance.

Glad you're back to your normal "normal"

Lothianlad

Live for the moment wherever you may be........and enjoy. I haven't moved all that far from home - from Scotland to England .....and never realised my earlier "dreams" of moving across the Atlantic, but no matter now.....I'm more than happy where I am and who I'm with and doing exactly what we (my civil partner and I) are doing with our productive lives in a lovely part of England.

Life itself is temporary so why waste time being sad or miserable as we don't know his long or how short that "temporary" will be. Easy to say but make the most of it wherever you are.

I love going back home up to Edinburgh (have you ever met anyone who doesn't like Edinburgh for whatever reason? No, neither have I......but I have no intention of moving back there or to Scotland itself...and it the worst comes to the worse next September I may well apply for English nationality.

England itself is changing in many ways - but I don't think I could ever fancy any of the foodstuffs in the many Polish Food Stores here in England, and I did resent being stopped in the street in St John's Wood, London, and asked whether or not I spoke English.