Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Feb 24th 2016, 4:20 pm
#61
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Sadly I have in the US.
There was a local news story last week, a paedophile teacher, had been dumped by the school district but were pressured by the teachers Union to take him back.
So the News Reporter goes to the District meeting and they all sit their gormless, finally somebody answers sort of some of the questions, turns out it is their Lawyer...
There was a local news story last week, a paedophile teacher, had been dumped by the school district but were pressured by the teachers Union to take him back.
So the News Reporter goes to the District meeting and they all sit their gormless, finally somebody answers sort of some of the questions, turns out it is their Lawyer...
Feb 24th 2016, 4:32 pm
#62
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Google Town
Posts: 7,532
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Thank you everyone for your comments, concern and advice, it's very much appreciated. I just can't believe such a silly situation, that every kid gets involved in at one time or another, has resulted in this.
Moving schools isn't an option. While I'm mighty pissed off with the school for not dealing with this internally, making my daughter change schools and have to make new friends... is just further punishment for something where she did very little wrong. Anyway, she would still be in the same school district (out of district transfers are virtually impossible here).
I've contacted two firms that specialize in juvenile law, so I will see what they have to say.
As far as immigration is concerned. We are already PRs, and are eligible to become citizens when my daughter is 17, which I believe means she automatically becomes a citizen along with us. Her records can be sealed when she reaches the age of 18, so if we decide to not become citizens and she pursues it after her 18th birthday, I believe from what I have read (we will get an immigration lawyer to confirm), she can legally tick No to prior arrests.
I'll post updates after I've spoken to a lawyer...
Moving schools isn't an option. While I'm mighty pissed off with the school for not dealing with this internally, making my daughter change schools and have to make new friends... is just further punishment for something where she did very little wrong. Anyway, she would still be in the same school district (out of district transfers are virtually impossible here).
I've contacted two firms that specialize in juvenile law, so I will see what they have to say.
As far as immigration is concerned. We are already PRs, and are eligible to become citizens when my daughter is 17, which I believe means she automatically becomes a citizen along with us. Her records can be sealed when she reaches the age of 18, so if we decide to not become citizens and she pursues it after her 18th birthday, I believe from what I have read (we will get an immigration lawyer to confirm), she can legally tick No to prior arrests.
I'll post updates after I've spoken to a lawyer...
Feb 24th 2016, 5:08 pm
#64
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Records are never sealed for immigration purposes.
Feb 24th 2016, 5:47 pm
#65
Return of bouncing girl!
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: The Fourth Reich
Posts: 4,931
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
I'm dumbfounded. This is wrong on so many levels - that they would choose to make an example out of your daughter instead of one of the kids who actually shared/commented, that the school would allow the police to interview your daughter without your knowledge, that the police would go so far as to make an official arrest, knowing the affect that could have on your daughter's future. It's all just completely crazy to me.
Do let us know what the lawyers say. Logic and common sense would suggest that this should be able to be expunged from her record, but I've long since realised that far too often, logic and common sense don't prevail. Fingers crossed!
Do let us know what the lawyers say. Logic and common sense would suggest that this should be able to be expunged from her record, but I've long since realised that far too often, logic and common sense don't prevail. Fingers crossed!
Feb 24th 2016, 5:51 pm
#66
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Joined: May 2009
Location: on the horizon
Posts: 4,382
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Our 13 year old daughter has been caught up in the most ridiculous situation. This is more of a rant than anything, but I'd appreciate any comments or advise.
There's a girl at school who my daughter has never got on with, nothing much going on that we knew about, they just didn't particularly like each other. However, they mix with each other due to their friends groups interacting... Over Christmas this girl posted a video of herself doing a dance. The video got reposted by several unknown people, eventually ending up on a site where nasty comments were made. This girl went to the office and named 2 people (my daughter being 1 of them), for watching the video. The police liaison officer was called, she spoke to my daughter and told her watching the video was a form of bullying. She told her not to talk to anyone about what had been said in the office, then sent her back outside into the grounds at lunchtime in tears. Her friends asked her what was wrong, she said, she didn't know what to say so said she had been in trouble over watching the video of this girl.
The following day my daughter was hauled back into the office and arrested because she had ignored what the police officer had told her, and gone out and talked about what had happened in the office. She ended up with a 1 day suspension, and a citation. We had to go see a probation officer, who said it was the most ridiculous case she had ever been handed. My daughter hadn't made any comments, hadn't shared the video, hadn't posted the video, around 100 kids in the school had watched the video, she had basically been singled out because this kid had pointed the finger.
Because of the nature of the citation, there is no way a judge would hear it as a case, so there is no way for my daughter to defend herself. She has to attend 2 classes on cyber-bullying, and had to write a letter of apology to the victim. If she didn't the case would stay open.
Then as another kick, this girl (or rather the girls parents) are now seeking retribution of $680 (split between the 2 kids cited).
This is the first time my daughter has ever been called to the office over any trouble, even the head has said it's a ridiculous situation that was blown out of all proportion (she wasn't in the office on the day this all kicked off), but says once the police are involved her hands are tied.
Hubby is saying he'd rather pay $10k on legal fees than give her parents $340, and part of me agrees, the other part of me just wants to get it all finished with. We're waiting to hear back from the probation officer on what happens if we refuse to pay. I'm so pissed off with this entire situation.
There's a girl at school who my daughter has never got on with, nothing much going on that we knew about, they just didn't particularly like each other. However, they mix with each other due to their friends groups interacting... Over Christmas this girl posted a video of herself doing a dance. The video got reposted by several unknown people, eventually ending up on a site where nasty comments were made. This girl went to the office and named 2 people (my daughter being 1 of them), for watching the video. The police liaison officer was called, she spoke to my daughter and told her watching the video was a form of bullying. She told her not to talk to anyone about what had been said in the office, then sent her back outside into the grounds at lunchtime in tears. Her friends asked her what was wrong, she said, she didn't know what to say so said she had been in trouble over watching the video of this girl.
The following day my daughter was hauled back into the office and arrested because she had ignored what the police officer had told her, and gone out and talked about what had happened in the office. She ended up with a 1 day suspension, and a citation. We had to go see a probation officer, who said it was the most ridiculous case she had ever been handed. My daughter hadn't made any comments, hadn't shared the video, hadn't posted the video, around 100 kids in the school had watched the video, she had basically been singled out because this kid had pointed the finger.
Because of the nature of the citation, there is no way a judge would hear it as a case, so there is no way for my daughter to defend herself. She has to attend 2 classes on cyber-bullying, and had to write a letter of apology to the victim. If she didn't the case would stay open.
Then as another kick, this girl (or rather the girls parents) are now seeking retribution of $680 (split between the 2 kids cited).
This is the first time my daughter has ever been called to the office over any trouble, even the head has said it's a ridiculous situation that was blown out of all proportion (she wasn't in the office on the day this all kicked off), but says once the police are involved her hands are tied.
Hubby is saying he'd rather pay $10k on legal fees than give her parents $340, and part of me agrees, the other part of me just wants to get it all finished with. We're waiting to hear back from the probation officer on what happens if we refuse to pay. I'm so pissed off with this entire situation.
I have the name of a very *good lawyer who helped me out with a tricky situation a few years ago with the Wisconsin IRS I can put you in touch with.
*Though don't take his recommendation to pretend you are a Jew.
Feb 24th 2016, 5:58 pm
#67
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Joined: Oct 2011
Location: "LA LA Land"
Posts: 2,447
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
That's more like it!
As far as immigration is concerned. We are already PRs, and are eligible to become citizens when my daughter is 17, which I believe means she automatically becomes a citizen along with us. Her records can be sealed when she reaches the age of 18, so if we decide to not become citizens and she pursues it after her 18th birthday, I believe from what I have read (we will get an immigration lawyer to confirm), she can legally tick No to prior arrests.
Apparently, in some states there's a difference between "sealing" the record and "expunging" the record. Which, in turn, can have quite different ramifications down the line.
Have been unable to see what the case is in CA.
Also, it would be relevant to know whether this juvenile arrest - can't believe I've just typed those words given what occurred - is deemed a criminal or a civil matter. That may have a bearing down the line on it's expungibility.
Hope your daughter's doing well.
Feb 24th 2016, 8:32 pm
#68
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,382
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Personally, this whole thing makes me so angry that I would start lawsuits against the school, the police and the parent and child who started this entire nonsense. But, of course, it is your daughter who is the one who will have to deal with any fallout that comes from a lawsuit, i.e. school and classmates. Grrrr I want to deck someone for her.
Feb 24th 2016, 8:38 pm
#69
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Google Town
Posts: 7,532
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Personally, this whole thing makes me so angry that I would start lawsuits against the school, the police and the parent and child who started this entire nonsense. But, of course, it is your daughter who is the one who will have to deal with any fallout that comes from a lawsuit, i.e. school and classmates. Grrrr I want to deck someone for her.
Feb 24th 2016, 9:37 pm
#70
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Best to leave the Concealed Carry at home for a while?
Feb 24th 2016, 9:50 pm
#71
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Google Town
Posts: 7,532
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
ok, just got off the phone with a lawyer.
Good news first. Although she was arrested and cited, the paperwork isn't filed with the police department, it's passed to the DA's office who decide if it's to be filed or passed directly to early intervention in the probation department. In this case, we were passed directly through (and the probation woman did say this to us but we obviously didn't understand). The case sits in the Probation department and is closed after 6 months. We can apply to have the record sealed in the Probation records when she turns 18.
Neither the arrest record or the seal will be accessible by any checks as the probation records aren't subject to checks (other than by the FBI). The records are basically hidden in a side area. (again the probation woman explained this to us too).
He said this has no real bearing on her life, and isn't life changing in any way. I explicitly asked about college applications, and he said no, this should not be declared on a college application. I said this was contrary to what I had read, but he again assured me that as the case had been side tracked straight into probation, the arrest would not have been logged.
As far as what we do now: We either accept the probation plan of doing the classes, writing the letter and paying the restitution. Or we chose not to, and the case would be passed back to the DA for them to decide whether to take no further action or to put it in court.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
Good news first. Although she was arrested and cited, the paperwork isn't filed with the police department, it's passed to the DA's office who decide if it's to be filed or passed directly to early intervention in the probation department. In this case, we were passed directly through (and the probation woman did say this to us but we obviously didn't understand). The case sits in the Probation department and is closed after 6 months. We can apply to have the record sealed in the Probation records when she turns 18.
Neither the arrest record or the seal will be accessible by any checks as the probation records aren't subject to checks (other than by the FBI). The records are basically hidden in a side area. (again the probation woman explained this to us too).
He said this has no real bearing on her life, and isn't life changing in any way. I explicitly asked about college applications, and he said no, this should not be declared on a college application. I said this was contrary to what I had read, but he again assured me that as the case had been side tracked straight into probation, the arrest would not have been logged.
As far as what we do now: We either accept the probation plan of doing the classes, writing the letter and paying the restitution. Or we chose not to, and the case would be passed back to the DA for them to decide whether to take no further action or to put it in court.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
Feb 24th 2016, 9:55 pm
#72
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,439
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
..... As far as what we do now: We either accept the probation plan of doing the classes, writing the letter and paying the restitution. Or we chose not to, and the case would be passed back to the DA for them to decide whether to take no further action or to put it in court.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
Feb 24th 2016, 9:56 pm
#73
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
Check with a Lawyer
My assumption will be that you will be told to NOT accept the 'deal' and that they will not take it further.
Then it is up to you what action you take, seems certainly a civil case in there.
My assumption will be that you will be told to NOT accept the 'deal' and that they will not take it further.
Then it is up to you what action you take, seems certainly a civil case in there.
Feb 24th 2016, 10:01 pm
#74
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Milwaukie, Oregon
Posts: 9,965
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
One other thing have your daughter unfriend the other girl on Facebook. Less opportunity for further nastiness in the future, stops any more malicious allegations.
Feb 24th 2016, 10:04 pm
#75
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Joined: Oct 2011
Location: "LA LA Land"
Posts: 2,447
Re: Ridiculous situation involving daughter
ok, just got off the phone with a lawyer.
Good news first. Although she was arrested and cited, the paperwork isn't filed with the police department, it's passed to the DA's office who decide if it's to be filed or passed directly to early intervention in the probation department. In this case, we were passed directly through (and the probation woman did say this to us but we obviously didn't understand). The case sits in the Probation department and is closed after 6 months. We can apply to have the record sealed in the Probation records when she turns 18.
Neither the arrest record or the seal will be accessible by any checks as the probation records aren't subject to checks (other than by the FBI). The records are basically hidden in a side area. (again the probation woman explained this to us too).
He said this has no real bearing on her life, and isn't life changing in any way. I explicitly asked about college applications, and he said no, this should not be declared on a college application. I said this was contrary to what I had read, but he again assured me that as the case had been side tracked straight into probation, the arrest would not have been logged.
As far as what we do now: We either accept the probation plan of doing the classes, writing the letter and paying the restitution. Or we chose not to, and the case would be passed back to the DA for them to decide whether to take no further action or to put it in court.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
Good news first. Although she was arrested and cited, the paperwork isn't filed with the police department, it's passed to the DA's office who decide if it's to be filed or passed directly to early intervention in the probation department. In this case, we were passed directly through (and the probation woman did say this to us but we obviously didn't understand). The case sits in the Probation department and is closed after 6 months. We can apply to have the record sealed in the Probation records when she turns 18.
Neither the arrest record or the seal will be accessible by any checks as the probation records aren't subject to checks (other than by the FBI). The records are basically hidden in a side area. (again the probation woman explained this to us too).
He said this has no real bearing on her life, and isn't life changing in any way. I explicitly asked about college applications, and he said no, this should not be declared on a college application. I said this was contrary to what I had read, but he again assured me that as the case had been side tracked straight into probation, the arrest would not have been logged.
As far as what we do now: We either accept the probation plan of doing the classes, writing the letter and paying the restitution. Or we chose not to, and the case would be passed back to the DA for them to decide whether to take no further action or to put it in court.
While I'm left furious about the situation, it would appear it's no where near as bad as I believed it to be. We'll think about it over night, but right now I think the best course of action is to put it behind us and let my daughter move on and forget about this.
I'm glad I posted on here, although some of the comments were scary, it spurred me on to take legal advice, which in turn has made me feel better.
Chalk it up to "a teachable moment"
What do you learn from it?
......beats me....nothing good