TouristTrap

Spent a few hours with a close g/f and her family this weekend.

She came over for college and is married to a septic, been so for the last 15 years.

As soon as we were alone, she asked me this question. 'Is the American dream all you thought it would be?'. They live the 'American Dream', and we spent the next 3 hrs or so discussing the lack of quality of life.

His industry has been in the doldrums for a few years now, and they're looking at expat postings. He's never lived outside the US but has the 'we're the greatest..etc..' mentality still, which she finds very hard to deal with, and is finding it harder to deal with as the years go by.

She's hoping that an expat posting for a few years will help.

I've been here for nearly 10 years and although I love it here, lately I've been thinking about the kids and if I want them to continue to experience the lack of true quality of life that we all experience here.

Partystar

I'm sure you all know my views on this by now, so I'll 'try' to keep it short. I feel this way too, I know how great my life was growing up & that's what I want for our son, so that's why we're moving back to England. I'm really looking forward to all the things we will be doing once we're back, when our son will be old enough to really enjoy them!

People often comment on the rain in England, but really it's almost the same with the sun here. At this time of year it's too hot to go outside when the sun is up, so although it's nice, bright & cheery out, you really can't enjoy it. Which is basically the same as England with the rain & cold weather (staying inside more).

I think you really have to think about what is important to you in life & go with the place that offers more on the list. That's what I have done, but for now, I shall enjoy living here.

Sarah

I really really like both countries,
England has some parts that make up its culture that SUCK severely, and
then the other bits that make a brit person love it so much after years and years of being away.

Personally IMO, the biggest scam of America is the way Corps have got people to willingly sacrifice themselves and enslave their lives to this 8-5 grind with being grateful for 10 days a year off.

You'd think that because America is the richest country that it would equate it with being the best in terms of quality of life, but this simply isn't true.

The opportunity to make 250K a year is here, and if you want that then fine but for the other 90% of the population who don't make that and are just chugging along with the rest of the world, I'd probably say that for quality of life, I'd rather be in Britain, or somewhere else that has a similar attitude to work (ie, its not the be all and end all).

Obvioulsy everyone's experience is different and i'm sure some people will have very different experiences to mine but so far, two years and 3 jobs in to life in the USA, I don't think that the working life here is a recipe for happiness.

Dan725

I think for a lot of expats, it really does boil down to a "Stuff vs life" point of view. Despite the fact that I detest working all the time with no time off (stuck record on that one ), (at least for us, everyones different) in Florida there are many good points. These are:

Having a great big house with pool.
Great weather (for certain things, see next point)
Having lots of hobbies like waterskiing and scuba diving, that you can do year round due to weather.
Wifes family is here, as are friends, plus made quite a few of my own Generally, I love being here on the weekends, plenty to do.

THis is countered by many bad points:

The materialistic falseness of the place is all pervading.
Work ""ethic"" is just plain f@@king stupid.
Have had to compromise on job prospects, better in UK for me
Feel trapped due to work, travel plans can't be made
Miss folks and friends back in UK
Christmas, Easter and New Year here are shit. Just another day, and all about revenue at the mall. So it is in the UK, many would say - but in the UK, it feels like Christmas, there is atmosphere. Probably a lot to do with the fact that people TAKE TIME OFF at Christmas, Easter and New Year. Here there is not.

And so on.

Note my first plus point is about the big house etc, which is very materialistic and Americanlike. Also, the weather you can't get in the UK. The point I am trying to get across is that at least there are some plus points here for us. If I was living elsewhere in the States in one of the expensive places such as the Northeast, where its also UK like weather, it would completely stink big time, and we'd be better off in the UK.

Sarah

Can I be a nosey parker and ask what your profession is? I'm curious as to what it could be that has more opportunity for development in the UK.

Partystar

I know you aren't asking me, but I thought I'd let you know it's the same for me too. My job simply does not exist here, I used to work for the NHS, making the waiting lists shorter, finding ways to make the NHS work better for the people, here the 'health service' is all about money & there is not much of a waiting list for me to improve, it's a simple case of - if you can't afford it, you can't have it!

Dan725

Defence Industry - its all to do with citizenship and clearances, which has screwed me up here, so much so that I've had to take a different job entirely.

Dan725

I can imagine, the biggest racket in this country has to be medical billing - a law unto itself, it seems.

Sarah

I'm in a similar boat to you and Partystar. I used to work for a local government and police initiative called a Community Safety Team, which did everything from dish out ASBO's, to find refuge for domestic abuse survivors, to giving a disabled person enough money to fix their roof. After that I went to the Drug Action Team that tried to educate school kids and young offenders about drugs, and if they were doing to do them, how to do them safely. I loved it, but I can't do that sort of thing here, completely different system altogether so I've had to start again. Probably part of why I've found it difficult to adjust to the worklife over here.

Partystar

It's funny you should say that, because now I work for a dental office (Benefits Coordinator) & whenever I tell someone what I do, they assume I'm in billing. I explain I have nothing to do with that side of things, all I do is call to verify what insurance benefits our patients have.

I don't think I could ever do billing, it would piss me off too much, my job I have right now is close enough. I really don't feel like I'm helping people anymore & that's one thing I loved about working for the NHS.

Sarah

Same here, I now have almost double the salary but zero job satisfaction.

Doing a job I found to be worthwhile and vital far outweighs any extra $$ in my paypacket.

Jerseygirl

Actually the weather is better in the NE...a lot better. The winter may be colder, but it is shorter and most days the sky is bright blue and the sun is shining. Maybe one grey cloudy day per week, if that. It is very dry during the winter months not damp like UK. The summer is longer and much, much hotter. I know that between now and October/November I will not have to wear 'sleeves' apart from going into air conditioning buildings.

Sarah

Are you from the tourist board of the garbage state?

Partystar

Here I make half what I made in England & I used to work for the NHS, so that's saying a lot!!!

dinosaur

Well...maybe I'm kidding myself, but living in the Northeast seems OK with me, and have been here 10 years (except a brief sojurn to Houston). I'm pretty sure that if I lived back in the UK there would be things that pissed me off, just it would be a different set than here...you know, stuff like petty crime, bad service, public school snobs and bad food vs. gun crime, superficial service, shallow people and, er, bad food...