Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Mar 14th 2008, 4:31 pm
#31
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
I have always been very struck with curiosity by the notion that Americans are characterized by false positivity.
For one thing, the US is a HUGE country that consists of 50 mini-countries (call them states if you want, but they are more different from each other than many countries are from each other). How can you compare the outlook of people in LA (for example) with people in NYC (for example)?
But besides that, my own experience of living mostly in the American South (which seems to be especially tarred with the "fake polite" brush) is that the consideration, concern, politeness, positivity, whatever you want to criticise them for, has been for the most part quite genuine.
But mostly, I'd take a smiling "How are you?" over a grumpy glare that says "**** off!" any day.
Hey, what's going on? My **** (the word that Father Jack says in the Father Ted series) turned to ****! Where's the fun in that?
For one thing, the US is a HUGE country that consists of 50 mini-countries (call them states if you want, but they are more different from each other than many countries are from each other). How can you compare the outlook of people in LA (for example) with people in NYC (for example)?
But besides that, my own experience of living mostly in the American South (which seems to be especially tarred with the "fake polite" brush) is that the consideration, concern, politeness, positivity, whatever you want to criticise them for, has been for the most part quite genuine.
But mostly, I'd take a smiling "How are you?" over a grumpy glare that says "**** off!" any day.
Hey, what's going on? My **** (the word that Father Jack says in the Father Ted series) turned to ****! Where's the fun in that?
Last edited by dunroving; Mar 14th 2008 at 4:34 pm. Reason: Wanted to see if I could say **** in my post
Mar 14th 2008, 4:36 pm
#32
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Back in the UK!
Posts: 1,097
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
I have always been very struck with curiosity by the notion that Americans are characterized by false positivity.
For one thing, the US is a HUGE country that consists of 50 mini-countries (call them states if you want, but they are more different from each other than many countries are from each other). How can you compare the outlook of people in LA (for example) with people in NYC (for example)?
But besides that, my own experience of living mostly in the American South (which seems to be especially tarred with the "fake polite" brush) is that the consideration, concern, politeness, positivity, whatever you want to criticise them for, has been for the most part quite genuine.
But mostly, I'd take a smiling "How are you?" over a grumpy glare that says "**** off!" any day.
For one thing, the US is a HUGE country that consists of 50 mini-countries (call them states if you want, but they are more different from each other than many countries are from each other). How can you compare the outlook of people in LA (for example) with people in NYC (for example)?
But besides that, my own experience of living mostly in the American South (which seems to be especially tarred with the "fake polite" brush) is that the consideration, concern, politeness, positivity, whatever you want to criticise them for, has been for the most part quite genuine.
But mostly, I'd take a smiling "How are you?" over a grumpy glare that says "**** off!" any day.
It's a generalization which tends to be dragged out frequently when people are looking to criticise the US. There are plenty of things this country can be criticised for, but fake politeness isn't one of them, unless, of course, you're referring to people running for political office.
Mar 14th 2008, 4:42 pm
#34
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: NI (back from Toronto)
Posts: 3,409
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Last edited by Elaine B.; Mar 14th 2008 at 4:46 pm.
Mar 14th 2008, 4:45 pm
#35
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
That reminds me of my Australia Aunt when she was visiting us here in Toronto a few years ago and besides complaining about the cold (it was May and 20 dregrees) I remember she was irrated by the "politness" of the staff in the hotel especially when she would say "thank-you" and the response would be "your welcome".
Mar 14th 2008, 4:49 pm
#36
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
That reminds me of my Australia Aunt when she was visiting us here in Toronto a few years ago and besides complaining about the cold (it was May and 20 dregrees) I remember she was irrated by the "politness" of the staff in the hotel especially when she would say "thank-you" and the response would be "you're welcome".
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"
[pause]
"Thank you"
"You are welcome"
[pause]
"Thank ... you"
"... You're welcome"
[I am having quite a day today. Decided to work from home and have spent half the day on BE. Makes a change from working every day, evening and weekend for the past few weeks]
Mar 14th 2008, 5:22 pm
#37
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
And nowhere did I say that they weren't. You appear to have a large chip on your shoulder when it comes to Americans as the same things I said when said by others are welcomed by you and not by me.
And the BE board is not primarily a dumping ground for your or anyone else's pity pot. By all means wallow in your self-pity and rehash your negative feelings over and over again to any and all who will listen. That's you privilege as a BE member. You needn't worry, I will no longer feel sorry that you are stuck in a country you can't tolerate or that you deeply miss your family and friends. Nor will I read your posts or ever respond. You have told me, not so nicely, that I am not welcome to your little party. I will take my NYS wine back though before I leave
I do not take your negativity of my country personally nor did my post say that I did nor did I respond because I thought your negativity of my country was personal. I'm sure that you would not take my negativity of your province of Quebec personally either.
Again that was told to you in this thread by Brits and you accepted it nicely. But from you, the evil, sinister American, you must publicly renounce my offering of help.
Being from Quebec, perhaps you have an English reading comprehension problem. You have turned a well meaning post into a vendeta against you by me. It is irrevelant how others feel when it comes time for you to finally make a decision to stay or go. If you decide to stay, then stop bitching. If you decide to go, then go.
I understood perfectly. You are the one with the inability to comprehend and understand a gesture of friendship.
Adios!
And the BE board is not primarily a dumping ground for your or anyone else's pity pot. By all means wallow in your self-pity and rehash your negative feelings over and over again to any and all who will listen. That's you privilege as a BE member. You needn't worry, I will no longer feel sorry that you are stuck in a country you can't tolerate or that you deeply miss your family and friends. Nor will I read your posts or ever respond. You have told me, not so nicely, that I am not welcome to your little party. I will take my NYS wine back though before I leave
I do not take your negativity of my country personally nor did my post say that I did nor did I respond because I thought your negativity of my country was personal. I'm sure that you would not take my negativity of your province of Quebec personally either.
Again that was told to you in this thread by Brits and you accepted it nicely. But from you, the evil, sinister American, you must publicly renounce my offering of help.
Being from Quebec, perhaps you have an English reading comprehension problem. You have turned a well meaning post into a vendeta against you by me. It is irrevelant how others feel when it comes time for you to finally make a decision to stay or go. If you decide to stay, then stop bitching. If you decide to go, then go.
I understood perfectly. You are the one with the inability to comprehend and understand a gesture of friendship.
Adios!
Why the ***flicking F U C K*** do you bother to post on the MBTUK board, seeing that you clearly have absolutely NO IDEA what it is like to be an unhappy expat, nor do you have even a nanogram of insight into Mademoiselle's situation.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
Mar 14th 2008, 5:30 pm
#38
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Why the ***flicking F U C K*** do you bother to post on the MBTUK board, seeing that you clearly have absolutely NO IDEA what it is like to be an unhappy expat, nor do you have even a nanogram of insight into Mademoiselle's situation.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
Mar 14th 2008, 6:05 pm
#39
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Why the ***flicking F U C K*** do you bother to post on the MBTUK board, seeing that you clearly have absolutely NO IDEA what it is like to be an unhappy expat, nor do you have even a nanogram of insight into Mademoiselle's situation.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
good, bad, for or against ....
an apology would be nice .,..
Mar 14th 2008, 6:17 pm
#40
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Mar 14th 2008, 6:33 pm
#41
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
Why the ***flicking F U C K*** do you bother to post on the MBTUK board, seeing that you clearly have absolutely NO IDEA what it is like to be an unhappy expat, nor do you have even a nanogram of insight into Mademoiselle's situation.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
I have pretty much abandoned BE because of tossers like you, but this post of yours pretty much takes the biscuit. You should confine yourself to the Immigration Boards - where your advice is valued.
Stop stirring up S H I T in this part of the forum.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=521729
- before they move it to Rovers.
Mar 14th 2008, 6:37 pm
#42
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Back in Montreal, PQ
Posts: 98
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
I am past the 6 month mark though!
Mar 14th 2008, 6:48 pm
#44
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Back in Montreal, PQ
Posts: 98
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
As far as politeness is concerned, I even sent a note further explaining myself, no hard feelings etc and did not even get a reply. I guess one's compassionate nature is one with many limitations.
I am all for anyone having a right to their own opinion, after all, it's the American way
(Sorry, could not help myself) but if you have never been in this type of situation, there are some things that will be almost impossible to comprehend and that lack of understanding will definitely taint one's opinion.The post itself did not bother me as much as the following comment...
"There are many Canadians who enjoy and want to live in the US and my husband is one of them and he is from Montreal but of English descent, not French."
The undertones are quite clear...
"And the BE board is not primarily a dumping ground for your or anyone else's pity pot. By all means wallow in your self-pity and rehash your negative feelings over and over again to any and all who will listen"
Whatever the case, I am not going to waste time on message board conflicts but I am not the only one with a chip on their shoulder...
End of story for me.
Mar 14th 2008, 6:55 pm
#45
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: Negativity that cannot be reversed?
But do remember this is just pixels ..its not real life ...