ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

Why is it when I when I was leaving the UK for OZ I had friends and family telling me I had everything on my doorstep and didnt need to move to the other side of the world. Now I have decided to return, be it only after 8 months, they are saying the opposite and questioning why I want to come back. Talking to my father and father in law is like listening to a party political broadcast about how bad the UK is. Its like they dont want us back and nobody in my family seems that excited. wondering if its a case of i told you so and they are distancing theirselves.
To top it off I was hoping to be picked up at Heathrow on my return but my father and father in law have informed me they have tickets for a rugby match that day and are not available. its ben 3 months since i booked flights and they didnt need to arrange tickets for a match. family are getting on my neves already and that was probably part of the reason i left and quetioning why i am returning. would have thought they would have been glad to see their grandkids at least. looks like i will have to hire a car after 24hrs flight and drive from London to Wales.
just needed to get that off my chest. Am i alone or do other peoples families act like this?

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

Don't let it get you down - my lot are a bit like that too and its just what families do! They have their own lives and we have to fit in around that - not the other way around it seems. And while it can get you upset and annoyed at times, its just not worth upsetting them over it, particularly, if like my lot, they have very long memories.

Enjoy the drive home to Wales. At least you can please yourself when and where to stop off - and just think...you can avoid biting your tongue while listening to all 'the latest', from your nearest and dearest who, if they're anything like mine, are totally disinterested in my news.

Families. Don't you just love 'em!

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

I got rid of mine (not literally). Ahhhhhh freedom!

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

Aww thats awful, no one to cheer when you come through those gates.
Can you catch the train to Wales (North or south) I usually book a flight on to Manchester for the north. Don't they fly to the south too, Cardiff or Newport or somewhere?
They'll be clamoring for the grandchildren come Christmas you see. Obviously you haven't been gone long enough for them to feel left out on the holidays :sneaky:

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

My Dad is not related to your father/in law is he....lol....my Dad only ever saw the "holiday" side of life in Aus....he use to come over and get treated like a lord and not spend a penny (THAT was not of our doing...lol) anyway we decided to return home to live (and can I say so far it is the best decision we have made in years....)when we arrived..we had to stay at my Dads....he picked us up from Manchester and well...in someways I wish he had'nt of done....it was all doom and gloom...much of what he was saying...politicians...doctors....cost of this and that....you could say about most countries anyway....and right from the go get...we knew we were not with him for a holiday....he made most things not so easy to do..."well you live here now" was his kind of attitude...by like my OH says....we did not return for our family....yes its great to have them a good drive away...but we have got on with our own thing anyway and visit when it suites all.....we find we like our bit of independence....families are great....at times...lol....but really come home and enjoy why YOU wanted to return.....can you not stay in an Airport Hotel for a night and either drive back the next day or then your family can pick you up.....the day after Rugby....I suppose some Expats expect a huge fanfare when they arrive back to these lovely shores....but really people do and have got on with their lives while we have all been away....lovely if you do have all ie family meeting and greeting you....but if you don't...well pick yourselves up and get on with a life where your family are there if needed (for some of the time) but great that you don't get so involved.....your family could also be wanting to put you off returning..ie did they enjoy good holidays with you..or were they planning to....were you their main topic of conversation...ie "our son etc lives in Australia"....if thats the case then thats there loss and not yours...

good luck....I am sure everything will sort itself out....families eh..you can't live with them....you cannot live without them....lol...

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

I wouldn't say I am particularly close to may family, moving over to Australia in 2002 wasn't all that emotionally diffcult as I was already rather detached from my family. I would see my two older sisters once ot twice a year, I would probably see my parents 5 or 6 times a year.

We came back to the UK for a holiday in 2004 and it was like something I had never experienced before. There we all were enjoying BBQ's and visiting their houses and so on, all chatting and smiles after not seeing each other for so long.

So in 2005 we moved back to the UK with the notion that we could start a family (now have a 3 year old son born in the UK) and his Aunties and Grandparents would be close by.

From the day we landed is was whooooossshhhhh - straight back to pre 2002. I have seen my sisters once so far the whole of this year and my parents no more then 4 or 5 times, although we did go away for a short break with them which was very nice.

I am probably as much to blame for not keeping in touch as they are, I could also make extra effort. But to be honest I have made the effort to get together more and be closer but it never gets anywhere. When I am in the same room as my Sisters there is always an uneasy silence, like we have run out of things to say after just 5 minutes, always feels rather ucomfortable.

They took then news that we were moving back to Australia in their stride really. I know my Mother is a little upset, but again emotions are not something that are really shown in my family. I think getting emotional has always been seen as something of a weakeness in my family.

So we are heading back down under early next year and too be honest I think my son will get much more attention from his Aussie Grandparents, they can't wait to see him.

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

If I were you, I wouldn't set off to drive right away. A bit more money for a hotel for a night will make a lot of difference. Or, as someone said, a connecting flight to somewhere closer.

To be honest, I'd gulp at the thought of driving from south Wales to Heathrow to pick up even my nearest and dearest. Them getting closer would be part of the journey IMO.

So it may not be indifference to you, just an OMG! moment.

Bev

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

OMG! My parents also sound like a Political broadcast! LOL. I mentioned to my Mum that I would like to move back home, and she thinks I'm nuts! They visit us here in the States twice a year, and they love it, they think i have it so good. But they get to go home!:(

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

Thats the problem sometimes...relatives...friends etc all come for a holiday....they don't see that you still have to live, work, shop, make friends etc...I could live in 90% of all the places I visited on holiday...lol....but that's the trouble...it was just a holiday.....living and working is a completely different matter.

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

People have some really strange ideas about other people going to live abroad, and indeed, return. People seem to think, for some unsubstantiated reason, that you shouldn't be allowed just to go and live wherever you feel like.

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

when I lived abroad we spent whole summers ferrying people back and forth to the airport (250 miles round trip), feeding them, taking them to Disneyland and all the other places they wanted to visit. No-one ever gave us money, they thought it was their yearly holiday, and that they had paid a lot of money for the plane fares. It really made a big dent in our budget, to the point where I dreaded any more coming and craved some time to ourselves, and only cooking for the four of us. It is lovely to see family and friends, but it can get tooooo much. Lots of people viewed us as a cheap holiday destination, and were no-where to be seen when we moved back and needed support

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

I've thought that a million times on this trip! I love Yellowstone National Park and several other amaing places but I don't want to live there. They would fast turn into a hellish nightmare.

Brits, how are you finding life back in the north? My hubby is wondering if it's too grey.....does the weather bother you at all? We're still looking at Broadbottom and Glossop.

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

Bastards :lol:

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

For the first two years after you return, every time they ask to see their grandkids tell them you're going to a rugby match.

Re: ITS GOOD TO BE WANTED
 

When we leave, we make a decision to walk away from the people who love us. At first they are devastated but as time goes by, they move on. We left a big hole when we left and we thought nothing of it. We were all about our own lives and and our goals.

And then we find out that we were wrong. For whatever reason, we want to go back. Do we really imagine that our families and friends are there for us in the way they were when we left?

Of course they are not. They have built lives without us and if we come back, we will need to re-earn a place in those lives. This is the price we pay for making the decision to leave. At least that's how I see it.