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Inheritance advice needed...

Inheritance advice needed...

Old Jan 9th 2013, 10:30 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Forget it and leave this alone - no good will come of pursuing it.

Since your late father was survived by his wife I think that it is highly likely that, if he had a will, he left everything to her and that if he died intestate it is extremely likely that his wife would have inherited everything under the laws of intestate succession anyway. If either of those scenarios is what happened then it is all hers and neither you or any of his other children have any right to any of it.
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Old Jan 9th 2013, 11:09 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Highly doubt any success would come of it other than a legal fight - especially in light of the fact they are not aware of your existence prior to an attempt at the estate. Is there any other way of making the family aware of your existence rather than through a monetary claim? Genealogy, family history and inherited health related information is also invaluable to have and these may be of importance to you in your own health matters and that of your children. There may be so much more to gain from these people than monetary gain. There are half brothers or sisters you may gain some sort of relationship with - that is if you want something like that. That door may or may not open depending on how they deal with the news of another sibling. May be lots of heartache in this but I get the feeling you have already experienced much of that.
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Old Jan 9th 2013, 11:43 pm
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
...... Over the years, I have come to learn from another source what he really thought of my mother, and that he had a derogatory term for me, which he laughingly shared with his army buddy's; ......
Given the likely lack of any right to any part of your father's estate, and that he used derogatory terms to refer to you and your mother, I'd leave well alone.

Last edited by Pulaski; Jan 10th 2013 at 12:56 am.
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Old Jan 10th 2013, 2:51 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
And therein lies the problem Jerseygirl, and incidently, I thought someone would pick up on the "turning their lives upside down" aspect. Its a fair point, and I have no particular intention of doing that. I just wondered what anybody thought from a legal standpoint about the situation I've outlined.
My husband had a similar situation as you, although he was deserted by both his US military father and his Brit born mother (she married another US soldier and left M in England with his grandparents)

M's father did acknowledge him as his son and visited him fairly often while he was still stationed in the UK but when his time was up and he moved back to the US all contact ceased. When M was 21 (we had just married) he heard from an American insurance company that his father had died and had left him a small a policy. This was in 1975 and it was about 2,500 GB pounds. Problem was the family of his father did not know M existed and tried to stop him getting the money. It took a couple of months but there was no way they could change the beneficiary and M got his money....and the family did not want any contact with him which was sad.

I'm sure it was a shock for them to find out about M and in a way I can understand their decision but it would have been interesting for M to have found out more about his paternal family.

I think you should leave well alone....it seems there are too many scars and ill feeling. It wont help anyone, and the person responsible is no longer around and and the rest of the family are not responsible for his life choices.

If money is your motivation just ask yourself if it is worth hurting the lives of innocent parties over something that probably will not happen anyway?
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Old Jan 10th 2013, 3:08 am
  #20  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
I know without a shadow of a doubt that none of his family know of my existance, so any will he left wouldnt have made any mention of me. Thats the part I'm interested in incidently; If his will contained the verbage "to my only son, John" could that not be contested, since its not true?
All depends on the wording. Chances are you won't get anything, but if the wording was along the lines of "x% of money to be equally split between my children..."

Then there might be a possibility, but only if there's anything ambiguous like that.
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Old Jan 10th 2013, 12:25 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
Is it worth it? Probably not, and the fact that stress and time would be involved is a given. As for money; I dont have a bottomless pit, but I was hoping I might get some idea as to my chances from an attorney about the legal position. I do know this is complex though.
You are a grown man with a family of his own. What your biological father chose to do and/or not do is over and done and he is 8 years in his grave. By contesting whatever will he may have had in place and which the courts would have already decided upon, the only person you are hurting is his legal family. He is not alive for you to hurt. Basically that is all your intrusion would be to his family. A hurt and disillusionment of the man that was a husband, father, grandfather, etc.

From the tone of your posts, you are not doing this only for monetary gain but as I stated above. It is my opinion and means squat all in your life.
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Old Jan 10th 2013, 2:00 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

I don't know about the legal aspect, but 8 years on from his death, I would think you would have a massive struggle to get anything out of this. If you're intent on it, consult a lawyer to get a feel for the likely position in contesting the will.

But before you do anything that brings your attention to the unsuspecting family, think about the effect it may have on the 80+ year old widow. She has a few years left - do you really want to ruin them by opening this can of worms?

You don't say if he was already married at the time he was in Europe during the war, or not. Best case he wasn't, so he was only "guilty" of keeping a son secret from his wife for their entire married like. Worst case they were already married at the time he came to Europe, so there is not only the secret son aspect, but also the knowledge that he carried on an affair very early on in their marriage. I realise that it was a long time ago and a lot of things were going on at that time. Perhaps people were a little more tolerant/accepting of the needs of servicemen in a dangerous situation, many of whom would not be returning home, but I'm sure it would still be pretty devastating for her.

If you really are intent on doing this, why not hold off until the widow is no longer in the picture, and then you are just going against the half brothers/sisters. It would still be a shock for them, I'm sure, but there would be less of a "betrayal" aspect. Of course, it's been 8 years already, and the longer you leave it, the more difficult it would be to pursue any settlement, but I suspect you are on a hiding to nothing on that one in any case.
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Old Jan 10th 2013, 5:46 pm
  #23  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

I agree with those who say just move on - you will feel much better for it.
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Old Jan 11th 2013, 2:31 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Bob
All depends on the wording. Chances are you won't get anything, but if the wording was along the lines of "x% of money to be equally split between my children..."

Then there might be a possibility, but only if there's anything ambiguous like that.
Thank you to everybody who took the time to put forward their viewpoints. I agree with the majority of responses suggesting that I should leave things be and not get into something that I almost certainly cant win. The only further question I have is regarding Bob's 'loophole' suggestion above regarding the verbage of his will, assuming he left one. Is there any way I can see his will, either online or by some other method without his family knowing? He was far fonder of my daughter than he was me, and I'd like to rule out the fact that she wasnt included in his will but never contacted.
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Old Jan 11th 2013, 4:20 am
  #25  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
Thank you to everybody who took the time to put forward their viewpoints. I agree with the majority of responses suggesting that I should leave things be and not get into something that I almost certainly cant win. The only further question I have is regarding Bob's 'loophole' suggestion above regarding the verbage of his will, assuming he left one. Is there any way I can see his will, either online or by some other method without his family knowing? He was far fonder of my daughter than he was me, and I'd like to rule out the fact that she wasnt included in his will but never contacted.
I'm sure you'll be able to check the records of the county where he died. I work for the county where I live in Texas and we have copies of probate documents and wills available online or in hard copy for a small fee. Just give them a call, I'm sure they can tell you over the phone if its filed there
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Old Jan 12th 2013, 9:46 pm
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Another point I should perhaps have mentioned is that I learned that his 'other' son, who is three years younger than me was convicted of a serious felony involving associating with two underage girls. He was sent to Prison for 4/5 years. The only reason I bring this up is because if anybody thinks any move I might make might cause the family distress, I believe that what this other son got up to probably helped to send my father to an early grave. That doesnt mean I'm going to throw money at some ambulance chasing lawyer who'd probably achieve nothing, but there were a couple of other scenarios that I wondered were worth considering.

If his wife died, would it be worth looking into the situation then, based on the fact that I'm the eldest son, irrespective of any will ? I realise theres little or no point getting involved under the existing circumstances.
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Old Jan 12th 2013, 10:16 pm
  #27  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
Another point I should perhaps have mentioned is that I learned that his 'other' son, who is three years younger than me was convicted of a serious felony involving associating with two underage girls. He was sent to Prison for 4/5 years. The only reason I bring this up is because if anybody thinks any move I might make might cause the family distress, I believe that what this other son got up to probably helped to send my father to an early grave. That doesnt mean I'm going to throw money at some ambulance chasing lawyer who'd probably achieve nothing, but there were a couple of other scenarios that I wondered were worth considering.

If his wife died, would it be worth looking into the situation then, based on the fact that I'm the eldest son, irrespective of any will ? I realise theres little or no point getting involved under the existing circumstances.
My mum left a will leaving me...her eldest child...nothing. I would not dream of contesting her will...because that was her wish.

With what you have just posted...why would you want to get involved with this family?
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Old Jan 12th 2013, 10:22 pm
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
Another point I should perhaps have mentioned is that I learned that his 'other' son, who is three years younger than me was convicted of a serious felony involving associating with two underage girls. He was sent to Prison for 4/5 years. The only reason I bring this up is because if anybody thinks any move I might make might cause the family distress, I believe that what this other son got up to probably helped to send my father to an early grave. That doesnt mean I'm going to throw money at some ambulance chasing lawyer who'd probably achieve nothing, but there were a couple of other scenarios that I wondered were worth considering.

If his wife died, would it be worth looking into the situation then, based on the fact that I'm the eldest son, irrespective of any will ? I realise theres little or no point getting involved under the existing circumstances.
It seems to me that you are trying to solve pain, anger and injustice with money. Of course I'm just some random person on the internet with no psychological training whatsoever. But I don't think money will do it for you. I would suggest either talking to the family and getting all this off your chest so that you can be done with it, or just let it alone. Court cases can be very arduous and emotionally draining if feelings are involved, and I suspect might make you feel worse rather than better.
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Old Jan 12th 2013, 11:20 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
My mum left a will leaving me...her eldest child...nothing. I would not dream of contesting her will...because that was her wish.

With what you have just posted...why would you want to get involved with this family?
At 68 I have no particular desire to get involved with his family. I'm just trying to get a feel for whether anyone thinks based on what I've said that I would be in anyway succesful at challenging a will, assuming his wife leaves one, by announcing my existance. Like you Jerseygirl, I'm not sure I, or my wife and daughter would approve of what I'm trying to clarify. I certainly haven't lost sight of the fact that my father eventually undertook a DNA test to prove I was his son. I certainly couldnt have gotten in the US without his help. If I got any positive feedback on this, I would have a terribly hard decision to make, and I probably wouldnt get the backing of my daughter, who grew very fond of him over the few times they met.
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Old Jan 12th 2013, 11:49 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: Inheritance advice needed...

Originally Posted by Peteusa
At 68 I have no particular desire to get involved with his family. I'm just trying to get a feel for whether anyone thinks based on what I've said that I would be in anyway succesful at challenging a will, assuming his wife leaves one, by announcing my existance. Like you Jerseygirl, I'm not sure I, or my wife and daughter would approve of what I'm trying to clarify. I certainly haven't lost sight of the fact that my father eventually undertook a DNA test to prove I was his son. I certainly couldnt have gotten in the US without his help. If I got any positive feedback on this, I would have a terribly hard decision to make, and I probably wouldnt get the backing of my daughter, who grew very fond of him over the few times they met.
I would think if there was a will and you were not named a beneficiary...you have no claim on the estate. If there was no will...chances are that because of the length of time since your father's death there may not be anything left. Depends on the size of the estate I suppose. I think you would best to seek legal advice...as we are only stabbing in the dark.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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