I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Some of you might remember me by my old username, Jenney & Mark. It's been a long while since I've hung around BE -- almost 2 years since my last post, actually.

Well, I'm back now -- as Just Jenney. No more Mark.

To those of you who don't know me: Hello, nice to meet you! :)

My life has changed in many ways over the past 2+ years. Being on my own again after 10 years has been very difficult to adjust to emotionally. I'm still trying to get used to be alone so much. I still mourn the loss of what I had thought my future would be, and coming to terms with the fact that, in all likelihood, I will never have children. My self-confidence and ability to trust people took a real beating. To cope I turned to food and have gained a lot of weight, which is very disappointing. I have not dated or even considered it. As much as I long for companionship, I don't see myself letting anyone become part of my life for a very long time indeed, I'm too afraid of getting hurt again.

But it's not all bad. I have a new dog, a beagle mix I adopted from a rescue group last year; her name is Summer. Luckily for me, she's a very good listener, because I talk to her constantly! I still work at the university and truly enjoy my job, which is more than most can say, so I'm very lucky in that respect. I paid off all my debt within 12 months and have been completely debt-free for the first time in over a decade. That's probably what I'm most proud of. It's a huge burden lifted.

I have decided to come back to BE because, well, you're a great group of people, and several of you have been there for me during some of the most trying times of my life, as well as some of the most joyful. Also, I am still an Anglophile. One of the things I've missed since Mark left is that loss of permanent connection with the British culture and people; it's hard to explain but hopefully some of you will understand what I mean. So this is just one way of keeping that alive in my life.

So I look forward to jumping into discussions on here again, and catching up. I'm so glad to be back! :thumbsup:

~ Jenney

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back! These things take a long time, but you'll get there.

And don't ever let me catch you with a 'Jenney and xxxx' username again. :sneaky:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back, it sounds like you've had a rough time. :unsure:

I was gone for much of the time you were probably most active here, so I can't honestly say I remember you. I started posting regularly again 12 months ago, after I got a smart phone.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

And it's just like you were never ever gone... :D


Welcome back, Jenney. Sorry to hear about your trials, but you're moving forward and that can only be good. :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hi Jenney...welcome back. :wave:

Sorry to read you've been through a rough time...but it seems you are making a new life for yourself now. All the best. :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back Jenny. Nice to see you.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hi Jenney and welcome back. :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hi Jenney. I have a dog called Summer. I just moved back to the UK from Colorado and brought her with me. She has adjusted now but still doesn't like wet grass. :D

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hi Jenney......welcome back :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back Jenny.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hello Jenny, sorry to hear things aren't so well at the moment.

May I ask, have you considered moving with the US at this time?

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

I don't know you sorry but when saw title of thread thought you had had a sex change.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

^:lol:

Anyway, welcome back, J and sorry to hear about the rough times :(

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back, Jenney. You can't beat a four-legged friend when it comes to someone who'll listen and is always ready with a hug. All the best to you and Summer and here's to a happy future.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm relatively new round here - I moved to Richmond the week after your last post. Here's to new starts. :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

:thumbsup:..it's Jenney from the block!

Good to see you again:starsmile:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back, Jen!

More of us than you know have been where you have been and are now. You're a survivor .. we all are.

Enjoy the forums and renew old acquaintances and make new friends. Life is too damn short to not live it to the fullest.

Hey you got rid of the bad in your life and now you only have the good.:amen:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

glad to see you back Jenn!

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

I know where you are coming from. Coincidentally, when I came back to BE a year ago, after several years away, I had JEN removed from my user name.:D

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Wow, thanks for all the "Welcome Backs" everyone! :) I see a lot of familiar faces (or usernames, anyway). In all honesty, I have been connected with many of you longer than I have many real-life friends. (I don't know if that's wonderful or sad, but I'll go with the former.)

HA! :rofl: Nice. No, no sex reassignment going on here, sorry to disappoint!

~ Jenney

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

How do you change your username? I don't see any way to do it.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Isn't it usually done by asking an administrator?

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

It's great to have you back ... welcome back to the BE fold .... {{{:starsmile:}}}

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back. I am a recent returnee too! Sorry this might be too close to the bone but am curious, what happened to Mark?

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Yep, you have to slip me a fiver first though ... either that or a case of Merlot :lol::lol:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Mark still lives here in town, still has the same job. It took several attempts to get him to move out of our apartment. His options were very limited given his financial situation, and he would say that his only options were to live in his car or move back to the UK. But he wanted to stay here to be with HER, so he figured something out and made it work. He's very motivated when he wants to be. :rolleyes:

He now rents a room in someone's house (I think you Brits call it a "bedsit") but stays with HER about 90% of the time. She still lives with her parents (she has never lived on her own before) with her 2-year-old*, so... Well, whatever. Not my problem.

We are on friendly terms -- we still talk, mostly on Facebook or via email. I've seen him just once in the past 13 months, and that was in June when I had him sign the divorce papers. Despite everything, I want to try to remain on good terms with him -- we have a long history together, after all -- and it's getting a bit easier as time passes. It also helps that he never brings HER up when we talk. We're going to see "The World's End" later this week together, a very benign outing, our first in a very long time.

As it happens, I've had a very hard time trying to get Mark's parents to accept what's happened. For them it's like it all happened last week, when in fact this has been going on for more than 2 years* now. I know this is largely because they aren't here and didn't witness the implosion first-hand. Earlier this year I suggested visiting them in spring 2014 -- I thought that seeing me without Mark would help solidify the fact that we're no longer together but reinforce that I'm still the same person as before. The response I got was, literally, "We don't think seeing you would do anybody any good." So, that was hurtful; I didn't write/speak to them for 5 months after that, until just recently when they became (actual) grandparents for the first time.

Mark agrees that they're being unfair to me, and has told them that when they come visit the States in fall 2014 (their first visit in 11 years), we're all going out to dinner together (sans HER). It was uncharacterically sympathetic of him, and very kind. Whether it actually happens, though...

*In case you're wondering: No, the 2-year-old is not Mark's child. All the shenanigans started with HER after she was already pregnant.

~ Jenney

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Oh dearie me Jenny. I am really sorry. That just sounds hideously heartbreaking. You're a better woman than I am to still be on speaking terms, but I guess it's better to be amicable. You know good luck in the future, things will get better / happier for you. Chin up

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

No idea who you are, but sounds like you've had a tough time. Hopefully things are now getting better. I always like to think that it's those times when we're at our lowest that make us stronger and able to deal with life going forward.

(Oh, and i'm the local non tipper - pleased to meet you!)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Thanks, you're very sweet. It's not easy to remain friendly but it's easier than carrying around a sad, heavy heart, isn't it?

What's super-weird about posting about this is that for years and years and YEARS, my marriage to Mark was my primary reason for even being a member of BritishExpats. I mean, no Mark = no need for BE. This is a crappy analogy, but it's like joining a dog walking group to learn how to socialize the new puppy in the family, and you and your dog go on countless walks for nearly a decade with that group, and you enjoy it and get really knowledgeable about all-things-dog walking-related, and then the dog suddenly dies... and you come back to the dog walking group, but without your dog.

It's kind of surreal. This is the first time I've been a member of this group without having a real reason to be attached to it. I'm not British. I'm not an expat. I'm not dating/engaged/married to a Brit. I have no need for immigration advice (yay!), my own experiences with immigration were so long ago I'm not sure I can offer any valid advice anymore, and I can't provide any unique insight into what it's like to live in the States (an American living in America -- imagine THAT!?). And yet here I am. I feel very comfortable and welcomed here. I think that speaks a lot of this community. ;)

~ Jenney

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Sorry to hear about the break up, that's always difficult, but sounds like you are getting yourself together very well. Welcome back.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

I was at Trader Joe's the other day, how does the "Three Buck Chuck" work for you?;):D

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Would that count as a bribe or a tip?

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Maybe a tip, but then again is it 15% or 20%? :unsure:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

One of us is a bad person. :)

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

:sneaky:

Anyway, back to Jenney's thread. Sorry, Jenney. :o

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Quite right. Hi Jenny. :wave: You wont know me. I'm the helpful one.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Do you need to know where to find marmite? We're good at that.

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

He's also BE's resident illustrator. :rolleyes:

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Welcome back. So sorry to hear about the recent twists and turns in your life.

Was it you who had a missing dog about six years or more ago.....?

Re: I'm BACK! But this time, just Jenney - no more Mark.
 

Hi Jen! I used to be known as sunflwrgrl13 - I think we were probably in the same fiancé visa 'class' back in 2003/2004ish.

I was surprised to read that thread 2 years ago about your breakup, and it certainly sounds like you've been through the ringer! But it sounds like you are staying on the positive side of things.

Welcome back to the forum! :starsmile: We are definitely welcoming! I also think I have some better 'friends' on here than some of my real life friends and family, but I don't mind that.