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-   -   How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/trailer-park-96/how-old-were-your-kids-when-you-moved-how-did-they-handle-816828/)

Bayleaf_01 Dec 5th 2013 11:01 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Zez (Post 11021543)
Mine were 5 and 7. 5 year old found it easy. 7 year old found it v hard- American kids are into totally different things and he found it hard to fit in. People laughed at his accent. 3 months later and he is sporting an American accent, has discovered the great leveler that is Pokemon cards, and all is well

As yes - Pokemon, the savior of little boys across the nation!!

Zez Dec 7th 2013 4:29 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Michael (Post 11021577)
It's interesting that young American kids kid them about their accent since when they are in their teens, American guys go gaga over an English girls accent and American girls go gaga over an English guys accent.

That's wht I tried to tell him!!

LeavingLondon Dec 10th 2013 6:25 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
We moved 5 months ago, twins were 6.5yrs old. One twin struggled for the first couple of months at school - was used to being the kid that everyone knew at school and he found himself in a new school with new kids and didn't know how deal with it. He's since settled in much better, has made friends, loves school and has a pseudo American accent. His brother however settled in no problem, made loads of friends on day 1 and loves school and has no trace of an American accent.

Cardienscarf Dec 12th 2013 11:05 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 3 and 5. The 3 year old excelled at school but never felt really at home in the States. He moved back to the UK as soon as he graduated High School. The 5 year old didn't excel but he had lots of friends! I think he would have done better academically at an English school. He's still in CO and isn't likely to leave.

I think they had a great childhood. We lived in a very safe area and they had a lot of freedom. If they missed out on anything, I would say it was family - particularly grandparents and cousins. It takes a bit more effort to maintain those relationships but they are actually very close to their cousins.

jeffreyhy Dec 12th 2013 3:31 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
A lot of kids' opinions and attitudes change when they enter their teenage years. In particular, guys go gaga over girls and girls go gaga over guys without regard to accent. ;)

Regards, JEff

Originally Posted by Michael (Post 11021577)
It's interesting that young American kids kid them about their accent since when they are in their teens, American guys go gaga over an English girls accent and American girls go gaga over an English guys accent.


Homeiswheretheheartis Dec 14th 2013 7:47 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 8 and 10, the 10 year old settled fine the 8 year old never settled. DD was very unhappy for 2.5 years, which played a big part in us returning to the UK.

We have returned 11 days ago and the kids have spent a week in school already. My DD is so happy.

I can't tell you why she never settled and why my DS did, just not all kids do settle.

transatlantic_chap Dec 23rd 2013 10:43 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Hm -- that's a real puzzle. How has the older child adjusted to the move back to the UK?

transatlantic_chap Jan 2nd 2014 10:12 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Also, LeavingLondon, so interesting that twins could have such different experiences! Did they go into the same class at the same school?

Redwing Jan 2nd 2014 10:40 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My 3 eldest were 15, 9, and 7 when we moved here, and they settled in right away without any problems. I suppose some settle in more easily than others.

transatlantic_chap Jan 19th 2014 6:59 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Definitely true -- I guess maybe the parents' experience has a lot to do with setting the tone. Was the move easy for you, too?

transatlantic_chap May 20th 2014 8:20 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Also wondering if anyone else had experiences with Englishness -- were your kids teased for being different or was their Englishness a plus?

Bayleaf_01 May 20th 2014 8:34 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by transatlantic_chap (Post 11268627)
Also wondering if anyone else had experiences with Englishness -- were your kids teased for being different or was their Englishness a plus?

My 4th grader's teacher said he has had a positive influence on the class and their manners!!
Neither of them were teased, it seemed to help them make friends - everyone wants to be friends with the kids with the cute accent.

I work in an elementary school and I am amazed that 'please and thank you' seem foreign to a lot of the kids.

SalopianFunk May 20th 2014 9:04 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
I was 16 at the time, I handled it very badly. It didn't help that I'm pretty introverted and was super shy at the time, so the extra attention on being foreign and not from a third world country just made me not want to communicate with people at all. It really didn't help that my parents settled to moving us to bum****, nowhere and not somewhere with anything for someone without a car to do things. Emotionally it was very tolling.

That said, after trying the dropping out thing for a few years, I ended up going to a university I wanted to go to, as opposed to settling for the local one, which led me where I am now and I wouldn't really replace it for anything.

I guess the thing to get from from this is, especially with those with children that find it hard to adjust - especially if you end up in crappy towns - time, encouragement, and in my case an utter change of scenery, made the world of difference. I think it's difficult to underline just how traumatic moving experiences can be, especially for adolescents, because there is usually no singular response to it like there are with other traumatizing events.

Sally Redux May 20th 2014 10:38 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by SalopianFunk (Post 11268731)
I was 16 at the time, I handled it very badly. It didn't help that I'm pretty introverted and was super shy at the time, so the extra attention on being foreign and not from a third world country just made me not want to communicate with people at all. It really didn't help that my parents settled to moving us to bum****, nowhere and not somewhere with anything for someone without a car to do things. Emotionally it was very tolling.

That said, after trying the dropping out thing for a few years, I ended up going to a university I wanted to go to, as opposed to settling for the local one, which led me where I am now and I wouldn't really replace it for anything.

I guess the thing to get from from this is, especially with those with children that find it hard to adjust - especially if you end up in crappy towns - time, encouragement, and in my case an utter change of scenery, made the world of difference. I think it's difficult to underline just how traumatic moving experiences can be, especially for adolescents, because there is usually no singular response to it like there are with other traumatizing events.

My son was also rather quiet and responded like you. I think it's unfair when people blithely say 'kids are adaptable!' and take no account of their feelings. In later years he said that he found the different scenery quite unsettling, too.

Like you, he got there in the end. Now we're abandoning the poor sod :p

LeavingLondon May 20th 2014 11:11 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by transatlantic_chap (Post 11059483)
Also, LeavingLondon, so interesting that twins could have such different experiences! Did they go into the same class at the same school?

Hi. Different classes, same school. Such different personalities though so I guess it was to be expected. Weirdly the quieter, seemingly less confident one settled in the best. Different strokes for different folks. Can't believe they're going into 2nd grade!


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