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transatlantic_chap Dec 3rd 2013 7:14 pm

How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
I'm interested to hear from people with kids who have moved to the US -- what were the pros and cons, and how did the kids adjust?

Bob Dec 3rd 2013 7:23 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Might want to have a search back as there's been a similar thread a few weeks back and a couple decent ones over the summer.

Lot of it depended on kids ages and where they moved in the UK/US as it's going to be really different moving from a village school to down town school in a big city and then add the difference in the country...

transatlantic_chap Dec 3rd 2013 10:33 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Aha - I had a look and couldn't find it. Will look again.

Bayleaf_01 Dec 3rd 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My two were 7 and 6. That was 18 months ago. They also had 16 weeks out of school, as we moved mid May and couldn't get them registered for school quick enough before the summer vacation started.
They found starting school hard, but settled well and made friends relatively quickly. We went from a village school of 135 children total, to an elementary of almost 500! Quite a shock to the system.
The biggest thing was knowing what the American kids were into - no Moshi Monsters here! The first summer was long and I am sooooo lucky they get on really well.
We moved again this summer (only 7 miles), but a new school again. This time they fitted straight in and made friends much easier.
My daughter (now 8) is sounding more American everyday. Girls seems to change easier to fit in, although I have heard the odd 'zee' and 'aloominium' from my 9 year old son as well.

SarahG Dec 4th 2013 12:18 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My son was 6 & my daughter was 4. They both took it in their stride and loved their new environment. My son had a little 'blip' in school and was moved from 1st grade to Kindergarten but it was the right thing to do. They are now 8 and 10 and are thriving here. They both love it and have no desire to move back to the UK. Just as well really as neither their dad or I want to move back either.
My son is keeping his English accent but I think he likes that people comment on it. His sister sounds more American than British now. They both have become involved in school activities and love travelling around with us during school breaks to see other parts of the country.

Sally Redux Dec 4th 2013 12:26 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My daughter was 9 and found it fine. She seems to like the superficial fashion stuff and cliques, which helps.

My son was 12 and found it much harder. Grade 7, halfway through middle school, and he hated the la-la land stuff and the dry landscape. Also hated being different, being called 'Johnny English' etc.

Age has a bearing, also their individual personalities.

This was 8 years ago, my son has settled into university now, my daughter is in the last year of high school. We are now contemplating a return to the UK. Son will stay here, and daughter seems happy to go back.

transatlantic_chap Dec 4th 2013 9:23 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
These are all very interesting -- thanks! Can anyone dig up the link to the earlier thread on this topic? I can't seem to find it.

denzil75 Dec 4th 2013 12:24 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 2 and 3 (now 9 and 10) and don't have much recollection of living in England. Put them with a group of American kids and you'd have trouble guessing who the British ones were ... although their pasty skin might give them away.

They really had no trouble settling here, love school, love the American way of life but also love going back to England to visit. I hadn't realised how American they had become until this year, they stuck out like sore thumbs in England with their accents and sports gear!

S Folinsky Dec 4th 2013 10:09 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 11019672)
My daughter was 9 and found it fine. She seems to like the superficial fashion stuff and cliques, which helps.

My son was 12 and found it much harder. Grade 7, halfway through middle school, and he hated the la-la land stuff and the dry landscape. Also hated being different, being called 'Johnny English' etc.

Age has a bearing, also their individual personalities.

This was 8 years ago, my son has settled into university now, my daughter is in the last year of high school. We are now contemplating a return to the UK. Son will stay here, and daughter seems happy to go back.

Grade 7 is a bitch in any case. I think it is a miracle that any kid survives Grade 7. [In my day, I attended "Junior High" which was 7-8-9 while "High School" was 10-11-12. I think that "Middle School" is an improvement. Older daughter was caught in the transition and did only 7-8 for her Middle School.]

Sally Redux Dec 4th 2013 10:12 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by S Folinsky (Post 11021178)
Grade 7 is a bitch in any case. I think it is a miracle that any kid survives Grade 7. [In my day, I attended "Junior High" which was 7-8-9 while "High School" was 10-11-12. I think that "Middle School" is an improvement. Older daughter was caught in the transition and did only 7-8 for her Middle School.]

Yes it is :lol:

kins Dec 5th 2013 12:13 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 6, 4 and 2.

It was hardest for the 6yo - ignorant Americans making fun of her accent and the fact that she didn't know she was supposed to support the Red Sox. Having said that, she had a few wobbles in her first year then was fine.

The other two... I'm not sure they even noticed they were in a new country. Except that my 2yo hated snow during his first winter.

Yorkieabroad Dec 5th 2013 4:02 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My eldest totally crapped himself, cried quite a bit, there was lots of fighting with new "friends", that sort of thing. He was only 16 months at the time though.....:D

He's now having fun in the aforementioned 7th grade..:unsure:....and still getting Mickey taken about his English accent:thumbup:

Michael Dec 5th 2013 6:33 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad (Post 11021419)
My eldest totally crapped himself, cried quite a bit, there was lots of fighting with new "friends", that sort of thing. He was only 16 months at the time though.....:D

He's now having fun in the aforementioned 7th grade..:unsure:....and still getting Mickey taken about his English accent:thumbup:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Zez Dec 5th 2013 6:58 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 5 and 7. 5 year old found it easy. 7 year old found it v hard- American kids are into totally different things and he found it hard to fit in. People laughed at his accent. 3 months later and he is sporting an American accent, has discovered the great leveler that is Pokemon cards, and all is well

Michael Dec 5th 2013 7:54 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Zez (Post 11021543)
Mine were 5 and 7. 5 year old found it easy. 7 year old found it v hard- American kids are into totally different things and he found it hard to fit in. People laughed at his accent. 3 months later and he is sporting an American accent, has discovered the great leveler that is Pokemon cards, and all is well

It's interesting that young American kids kid them about their accent since when they are in their teens, American guys go gaga over an English girls accent and American girls go gaga over an English guys accent.

Bayleaf_01 Dec 5th 2013 11:01 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Zez (Post 11021543)
Mine were 5 and 7. 5 year old found it easy. 7 year old found it v hard- American kids are into totally different things and he found it hard to fit in. People laughed at his accent. 3 months later and he is sporting an American accent, has discovered the great leveler that is Pokemon cards, and all is well

As yes - Pokemon, the savior of little boys across the nation!!

Zez Dec 7th 2013 4:29 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Michael (Post 11021577)
It's interesting that young American kids kid them about their accent since when they are in their teens, American guys go gaga over an English girls accent and American girls go gaga over an English guys accent.

That's wht I tried to tell him!!

LeavingLondon Dec 10th 2013 6:25 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
We moved 5 months ago, twins were 6.5yrs old. One twin struggled for the first couple of months at school - was used to being the kid that everyone knew at school and he found himself in a new school with new kids and didn't know how deal with it. He's since settled in much better, has made friends, loves school and has a pseudo American accent. His brother however settled in no problem, made loads of friends on day 1 and loves school and has no trace of an American accent.

Cardienscarf Dec 12th 2013 11:05 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 3 and 5. The 3 year old excelled at school but never felt really at home in the States. He moved back to the UK as soon as he graduated High School. The 5 year old didn't excel but he had lots of friends! I think he would have done better academically at an English school. He's still in CO and isn't likely to leave.

I think they had a great childhood. We lived in a very safe area and they had a lot of freedom. If they missed out on anything, I would say it was family - particularly grandparents and cousins. It takes a bit more effort to maintain those relationships but they are actually very close to their cousins.

jeffreyhy Dec 12th 2013 3:31 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
A lot of kids' opinions and attitudes change when they enter their teenage years. In particular, guys go gaga over girls and girls go gaga over guys without regard to accent. ;)

Regards, JEff

Originally Posted by Michael (Post 11021577)
It's interesting that young American kids kid them about their accent since when they are in their teens, American guys go gaga over an English girls accent and American girls go gaga over an English guys accent.


Homeiswheretheheartis Dec 14th 2013 7:47 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Mine were 8 and 10, the 10 year old settled fine the 8 year old never settled. DD was very unhappy for 2.5 years, which played a big part in us returning to the UK.

We have returned 11 days ago and the kids have spent a week in school already. My DD is so happy.

I can't tell you why she never settled and why my DS did, just not all kids do settle.

transatlantic_chap Dec 23rd 2013 10:43 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Hm -- that's a real puzzle. How has the older child adjusted to the move back to the UK?

transatlantic_chap Jan 2nd 2014 10:12 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Also, LeavingLondon, so interesting that twins could have such different experiences! Did they go into the same class at the same school?

Redwing Jan 2nd 2014 10:40 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My 3 eldest were 15, 9, and 7 when we moved here, and they settled in right away without any problems. I suppose some settle in more easily than others.

transatlantic_chap Jan 19th 2014 6:59 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Definitely true -- I guess maybe the parents' experience has a lot to do with setting the tone. Was the move easy for you, too?

transatlantic_chap May 20th 2014 8:20 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Also wondering if anyone else had experiences with Englishness -- were your kids teased for being different or was their Englishness a plus?

Bayleaf_01 May 20th 2014 8:34 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by transatlantic_chap (Post 11268627)
Also wondering if anyone else had experiences with Englishness -- were your kids teased for being different or was their Englishness a plus?

My 4th grader's teacher said he has had a positive influence on the class and their manners!!
Neither of them were teased, it seemed to help them make friends - everyone wants to be friends with the kids with the cute accent.

I work in an elementary school and I am amazed that 'please and thank you' seem foreign to a lot of the kids.

SalopianFunk May 20th 2014 9:04 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
I was 16 at the time, I handled it very badly. It didn't help that I'm pretty introverted and was super shy at the time, so the extra attention on being foreign and not from a third world country just made me not want to communicate with people at all. It really didn't help that my parents settled to moving us to bum****, nowhere and not somewhere with anything for someone without a car to do things. Emotionally it was very tolling.

That said, after trying the dropping out thing for a few years, I ended up going to a university I wanted to go to, as opposed to settling for the local one, which led me where I am now and I wouldn't really replace it for anything.

I guess the thing to get from from this is, especially with those with children that find it hard to adjust - especially if you end up in crappy towns - time, encouragement, and in my case an utter change of scenery, made the world of difference. I think it's difficult to underline just how traumatic moving experiences can be, especially for adolescents, because there is usually no singular response to it like there are with other traumatizing events.

Sally Redux May 20th 2014 10:38 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by SalopianFunk (Post 11268731)
I was 16 at the time, I handled it very badly. It didn't help that I'm pretty introverted and was super shy at the time, so the extra attention on being foreign and not from a third world country just made me not want to communicate with people at all. It really didn't help that my parents settled to moving us to bum****, nowhere and not somewhere with anything for someone without a car to do things. Emotionally it was very tolling.

That said, after trying the dropping out thing for a few years, I ended up going to a university I wanted to go to, as opposed to settling for the local one, which led me where I am now and I wouldn't really replace it for anything.

I guess the thing to get from from this is, especially with those with children that find it hard to adjust - especially if you end up in crappy towns - time, encouragement, and in my case an utter change of scenery, made the world of difference. I think it's difficult to underline just how traumatic moving experiences can be, especially for adolescents, because there is usually no singular response to it like there are with other traumatizing events.

My son was also rather quiet and responded like you. I think it's unfair when people blithely say 'kids are adaptable!' and take no account of their feelings. In later years he said that he found the different scenery quite unsettling, too.

Like you, he got there in the end. Now we're abandoning the poor sod :p

LeavingLondon May 20th 2014 11:11 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by transatlantic_chap (Post 11059483)
Also, LeavingLondon, so interesting that twins could have such different experiences! Did they go into the same class at the same school?

Hi. Different classes, same school. Such different personalities though so I guess it was to be expected. Weirdly the quieter, seemingly less confident one settled in the best. Different strokes for different folks. Can't believe they're going into 2nd grade!

kins May 21st 2014 12:44 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by transatlantic_chap (Post 11268627)
Also wondering if anyone else had experiences with Englishness -- were your kids teased for being different or was their Englishness a plus?

Both...

transatlantic_chap May 21st 2014 9:19 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
Both, huh? Has it now settled more on one side or another, or do they still get both?

kins May 24th 2014 1:45 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
I think now they only have very few traces of Englishness, so it's not such an issue. My oldest (nearly 13) occasionally uses it to impress people, and my youngest does a cracking 'Noice cuppa tea?!' to make his friends laugh.

It would be interesting to take them back to the UK now and see if their US-ness gets them teased.

Macca67 May 24th 2014 2:48 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 11019672)
My daughter was 9 and found it fine. She seems to like the superficial fashion stuff and cliques, which helps.

My son was 12 and found it much harder. Grade 7, halfway through middle school, and he hated the la-la land stuff and the dry landscape. Also hated being different, being called 'Johnny English' etc.

Age has a bearing, also their individual personalities.

This was 8 years ago, my son has settled into university now, my daughter is in the last year of high school. We are now contemplating a return to the UK. Son will stay here, and daughter seems happy to go back.

We seem to be following similar paths. I'm moving to Hamburg in August with Mrs and daughter. The boy is at UWM and has elected to stay in USA, at least for his 2nd year which starts in Sept. Daughter is finishing High School in a few weeks and was down for Uni but wants to take a year out and come with us.

What are you doing about your sons healthcare coverage?

Sally Redux May 24th 2014 7:12 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Macca67 (Post 11274319)
We seem to be following similar paths. I'm moving to Hamburg in August with Mrs and daughter. The boy is at UWM and has elected to stay in USA, at least for his 2nd year which starts in Sept. Daughter is finishing High School in a few weeks and was down for Uni but wants to take a year out and come with us.

What are you doing about your sons healthcare coverage?

Oh good luck!

Healthcare is a worry - the student healthcare plan for Cal Poly looks outdated and expensive. I am hoping he can get something through the exchanges, or he may be eligible for medicaid. Have to finalise that. Would be interested if you have any tips.

hoffage123 May 24th 2014 11:32 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 
My son is 5 and he has been having trouble adjusting the concept that we are here in the US permanently (well as permanently as one knows for now) - he is enrolled in full-day daycare and although he plays with the other kids he is adamant he hasn't made any friends and has been labelled a 'loner' by his teacher - when he was in the UK he had two or three close friends and socialised a lot more ... he keeps saying he misses his old room and friends ...

It has only been 7 weeks though ... :unsure:

Sally Redux May 25th 2014 12:40 am

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by hoffage123 (Post 11274676)
although he plays with the other kids he is adamant he hasn't made any friends and has been labelled a 'loner' by his teacher - when he was in the UK he had two or three close friends and socialised a lot more ... he keeps saying he misses his old room and friends ...

I know how he feels.

Macca67 May 25th 2014 4:00 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 11274513)
Oh good luck!

Healthcare is a worry - the student healthcare plan for Cal Poly looks outdated and expensive. I am hoping he can get something through the exchanges, or he may be eligible for medicaid. Have to finalise that. Would be interested if you have any tips.

Thanks. You too.

I think we're both looking at the same options. Only other option I've been advsied of is registering him in the German public system and then taking out an Int'l Healthcare policy, though this seems too much of a hassle.

How much are they quoting you for Cal Poly and through the exchanges?

Sally Redux May 25th 2014 4:50 pm

Re: How old were your kids when you moved, and how did they handle it?
 

Originally Posted by Macca67 (Post 11275224)
Thanks. You too.

I think we're both looking at the same options. Only other option I've been advsied of is registering him in the German public system and then taking out an Int'l Healthcare policy, though this seems too much of a hassle.

How much are they quoting you for Cal Poly and through the exchanges?

I haven't done an actual quote through the exchanges yet, waiting for son to tell me his projected income. I will let you know when I do.

The Cal Poly bumf online is still showing a lot of exclusions so I was waiting for it to come up to date.


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