Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
#1
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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 5
Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
Hi all. I'm new here, and as an American, I moved to the UK to be with my British husband over 4 years ago. I remember the adjustment being hard in the first 2 years (I missed so many things about the US), but eventually came to really like it here and now it feels like home.
Now my husband and I are planning to move back to the US, to be closer to my family, as soon as we can get him a visa. Up-rooting again is going to be hard, but is there anything I can do to make the transition easier (especially for him)?
If you moved away from the UK, what did you really miss in the first year and what would you have done differently so that you wouldn't be home sick?
Thanks
Now my husband and I are planning to move back to the US, to be closer to my family, as soon as we can get him a visa. Up-rooting again is going to be hard, but is there anything I can do to make the transition easier (especially for him)?
If you moved away from the UK, what did you really miss in the first year and what would you have done differently so that you wouldn't be home sick?
Thanks
#2
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
Get the IT sorted out.
Skype or similar for video chatting
smartDNS sorted for watching UK TV
Find the nearest proper fish n chip shop, English style brewery and other UK foods access.
Season tickets for the local pro soccer team or something similar.
Lots of local tourist excursions, so he is excited about being somewhere new, it might be old hat for you, but maybe not for your partner.
Skype or similar for video chatting
smartDNS sorted for watching UK TV
Find the nearest proper fish n chip shop, English style brewery and other UK foods access.
Season tickets for the local pro soccer team or something similar.
Lots of local tourist excursions, so he is excited about being somewhere new, it might be old hat for you, but maybe not for your partner.
#3
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
It depends how your husband sees the move and how tied he is to British culture - pubs, soccer, fish & chips, etc.
I left the UK 14 years ago with no plans to return, and therefore intended from the outset to "go native". As a Yorkshireman I was pretty disgusted with the cost of any and all "expat groceries", so for about twelve years I never bought anything from Britain. I have since bought two packets of plain chocolate Homewheat biscuits and three jars of Marmite, and that's it.
"Homesick" was never part of my vocabulary, but then I had zero interest in soccer anyway, and aside from drinks after work, no interest in pubs and drinking as a pastime. I do miss a good fish & chip dinner though and I have never found anywhere yet that comes close to a British chip shop F&C. ...... That said, it is never something that I spent so much as 30 seconds dwelling on.
I did, for a number of years, immerse myself in NASCAR, which wasn't hard as I live fairly close to "NASCAR central", close enough to drive to four different tracks (back then) as day trips. That got me over my interest in F1, which I had already decided was boring back in the 1990's, and in any case I had been watching NASCAR coverage in the UK since 1996.
In short, I would favour the "clean break" approach, which worked for me - don't be forever trying to maintain ties and interests that belong 3,000+ miles away, or worse IMO trying to find a "local pub" to replicate what is in the UK. Move on with your life, and embrace what America has to offer.
I left the UK 14 years ago with no plans to return, and therefore intended from the outset to "go native". As a Yorkshireman I was pretty disgusted with the cost of any and all "expat groceries", so for about twelve years I never bought anything from Britain. I have since bought two packets of plain chocolate Homewheat biscuits and three jars of Marmite, and that's it.
"Homesick" was never part of my vocabulary, but then I had zero interest in soccer anyway, and aside from drinks after work, no interest in pubs and drinking as a pastime. I do miss a good fish & chip dinner though and I have never found anywhere yet that comes close to a British chip shop F&C. ...... That said, it is never something that I spent so much as 30 seconds dwelling on.
I did, for a number of years, immerse myself in NASCAR, which wasn't hard as I live fairly close to "NASCAR central", close enough to drive to four different tracks (back then) as day trips. That got me over my interest in F1, which I had already decided was boring back in the 1990's, and in any case I had been watching NASCAR coverage in the UK since 1996.
In short, I would favour the "clean break" approach, which worked for me - don't be forever trying to maintain ties and interests that belong 3,000+ miles away, or worse IMO trying to find a "local pub" to replicate what is in the UK. Move on with your life, and embrace what America has to offer.
Last edited by Pulaski; Oct 12th 2015 at 7:35 pm.
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 9,618
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
If you have not yet got British citizenship, then once you have left the UK for 2 years plus, your residency status in the UK will lapse.
If you then decide to return to the UK, you will need to go through the immigration process all over again - and financial and other requirements have become more stringent than in 2010/2011 when you first arrived.
If you then decide to return to the UK, you will need to go through the immigration process all over again - and financial and other requirements have become more stringent than in 2010/2011 when you first arrived.
#5
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
In short, I would favour the "clean break" approach, which worked for me - don't be forever trying to maintain ties and interests that belong 3,000+ miles away, or worse IMO trying to find a "local pub" to replicate what is in the UK. Move on with your life, and embrace what America has to offer.
#6
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 198
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
What Pulaski said. You've really got to want to give it the clean break though.
Except give US soccer a try. MLS has gotten way better since I moved here 16 years ago.
Except give US soccer a try. MLS has gotten way better since I moved here 16 years ago.
#7
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
My US ex wife took me to a couple of "British" bars. That got it out of my system pretty quick.
Fish & chips are for trips back to Blighty, although I didn't have them this year, now I think about it
Fish & chips are for trips back to Blighty, although I didn't have them this year, now I think about it
#8
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
I've been here almost a year now.
Tbh I've been so busy I've hardly had a moment to think about what I'm missing. Just learning the new systems, rules, processes etc. has been a steep learning curve.
I watch more footy here. I don't really miss home as I knew it was a permanent move and I had to make a clean break. I only just struck up a conversation with a fellow Brit expat for the first time last week.
I would echo others and advise not to cling too hard to the British way, jump in with both feet and expect things to be different.
Tbh I've been so busy I've hardly had a moment to think about what I'm missing. Just learning the new systems, rules, processes etc. has been a steep learning curve.
I watch more footy here. I don't really miss home as I knew it was a permanent move and I had to make a clean break. I only just struck up a conversation with a fellow Brit expat for the first time last week.
I would echo others and advise not to cling too hard to the British way, jump in with both feet and expect things to be different.
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
If he is into soccer, then he will never adapt to life in the USA ! I am thinking of those I have known who can only talk bout English Football and who scored the goals on Saturday !
#10
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
He's gonna find it tough to start with. Especially the wait for the EAD that means he can't work.
I agree with the above. Skype, DNS for UK tv (Sky news also streams live on ROKU) and get a set of wheels ASAP so he can be mobile (make the jump into US culture more fun by getting a ridiculous muscle car rather than a boring Honda or Toyota).
#12
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
Good catch, and as they have been married 4+ years, it will be an IR-1 visa leading to a full "10 year green card", not even a conditional one. He can literally report to work after he has cleared immigration on arrival.
#14
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
Is indentured servitude no longer an option in the Americas ?
#15
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: Hi! Moving to the USA, How to make it easier on husband?
HP sauce