British Expats

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-   -   Is this Different? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/trailer-park-96/different-577416/)

slidingbyee Dec 8th 2008 5:10 am

Is this Different?
 
Well fairly new here but I see lots of serious comments inbetween the chaff ( they can't help themselves I know).

My situ I have been away about 12 years now - seriously destroyed my fledging sucessful career in the UK to follow a woman ..... Now I really feel I want to return but all the usual feelings. Not least what will I do upon return. I have lived enough different places USA East and West coast including Hawaii to realize its the people that matter. I just cannot shake idylic images of the Lakes etc and people who understand me even after 12 years. Whatever new job or place I encounter I always know I'm going to get the question and comments: Oh England I love it there. Why are you here?.....

Thoughtful comments considered.

ukintexas Dec 8th 2008 3:43 pm

Re: Is this Different?
 
Hi there

Personally speaking, I am sure (in fact I know!) I have some rose tinted specs planted firmly on my face at the moment in terms of my views of the UK! I'm trying to remind myself of why I left the Country in the first place (3 years ago to live in Texas), and the things that always got me down there, but my desires to go "home" are shouting louder!

I agree with you that it's the people not the places that are important and when I decided to make a list of pros and cons, the pros for staying in the US were actually longer than the pros for going home to the UK. However, the UK had the "Friends and Family" pro and for me, that outweighs the 10 things on the US list!

Not sure I'm helping in anyway, other than offering the sense that I think we're all in the same boat when we start to make this decision!

slidingbyee Dec 9th 2008 7:43 pm

Re: Is this Different?
 
Thanks UKinTexas. Funny over 200 views but only 1 comment. I fear I may have struck at the heart of many peoples inner self. Well I have for to long kept it inside myself.

Bevm Dec 9th 2008 8:27 pm

Re: Is this Different?
 

Originally Posted by slidingbyee (Post 7047448)
Well fairly new here but I see lots of serious comments inbetween the chaff ( they can't help themselves I know).

My situ I have been away about 12 years now - seriously destroyed my fledging sucessful career in the UK to follow a woman ..... Now I really feel I want to return but all the usual feelings. Not least what will I do upon return. I have lived enough different places USA East and West coast including Hawaii to realize its the people that matter. I just cannot shake idylic images of the Lakes etc and people who understand me even after 12 years. Whatever new job or place I encounter I always know I'm going to get the question and comments: Oh England I love it there. Why are you here?.....

Thoughtful comments considered.

I'm not sure what you're asking.

Can you support yourself in the UK? Are you single, or with a partner and family who would also like to try the UK?

Then go back, enjoy it, and decide then where you want to settle in the end.

It's really not that big a deal, is it?

Bev

dunroving Dec 9th 2008 8:59 pm

Re: Is this Different?
 

Originally Posted by slidingbyee (Post 7047448)
Well fairly new here but I see lots of serious comments inbetween the chaff ( they can't help themselves I know).

My situ I have been away about 12 years now - seriously destroyed my fledging sucessful career in the UK to follow a woman ..... Now I really feel I want to return but all the usual feelings. Not least what will I do upon return. I have lived enough different places USA East and West coast including Hawaii to realize its the people that matter. I just cannot shake idylic images of the Lakes etc and people who understand me even after 12 years. Whatever new job or place I encounter I always know I'm going to get the question and comments: Oh England I love it there. Why are you here?.....

Thoughtful comments considered.

So, are you still with the woman, and if so, what does she think about returning to the UK?

TBH I often read comments about feeling like an outsider in "whatever country" because people comment on your accent, ask you where you're from, why you're there, etc. Often these comments are expressed in a complaining tone. My gut response would be "What do you expect?" or "Why do you get so ticked off when someone says they like your accent (it's supposed to be a compliment ...) or asks you why you left the UK or where yu're from (They're trying to get to know you..."). Pretty much, I come around to thinking that people see what they want to see. If they love Australia, they see homesick fellow expats as whingeing Poms, if they hate Australia, they see Tesco's as the centre of the universe ... similarly, it seems you have in your heart decided you want to go home so memories of the Lakes are idyllic whereas others would see it as a rainy tourist trap.

slidingbyee Dec 10th 2008 3:00 am

Re: Is this Different?
 

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 7053424)
So, are you still with the woman, and if so, what does she think about returning to the UK?

TBH I often read comments about feeling like an outsider in "whatever country" because people comment on your accent, ask you where you're from, why you're there, etc. Often these comments are expressed in a complaining tone. My gut response would be "What do you expect?" or "Why do you get so ticked off when someone says they like your accent (it's supposed to be a compliment ...) or asks you why you left the UK or where yu're from (They're trying to get to know you..."). Pretty much, I come around to thinking that people see what they want to see. If they love Australia, they see homesick fellow expats as whingeing Poms, if they hate Australia, they see Tesco's as the centre of the universe ... similarly, it seems you have in your heart decided you want to go home so memories of the Lakes are idyllic whereas others would see it as a rainy tourist trap.

Dunroving - Thanks read some of your own posts as well which decided in my posting here. First the woman - would be like trying to ask Arabs to build igloos, if you get the picture. Thus not going to happen.

To clarify I don't get ticked off by the comments just in the last 12 years it has become routine whenever I meet Americans in whatever situation workplace, social etc the questions always trot out in the same order and with the same result...To be honest I never knew some many Americans were disatsified with their own lot and I supose I'm included in that now as well being neither here or there. Always very polite in my explanations etc to them never whinge, actually expound on the virtues of the country and I have probably seen the ups and downs of most of it more than most Americans ( infact for anyone readin this, if you are considering emigrating anywhere I strongly suggest taking an extended unguided roadtrip through the country of your choice to really learn what the place is about - the USA is certainly not all LA, SF, or NY be that positive or negative).

I take the Tesco point as very valid. Thanks.


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