CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Don't know if this is true or not but it sure made me laugh!

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown Savannah

Reply to: pers- [email protected]
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we
had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head,
isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of
your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty
of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on
your card. I gave your shoes to one of the home less guys over by
Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I
threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on
your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut
down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now,
so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening
phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you
did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to
you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you
out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to
apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message,
email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Ray, I've had a really crappy day and this put a smile on my face...thanks.:)

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Hi-larious!:rofl:

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

I love Craigslist...

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Thank you. Very much. :D

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

so funny :rofl:

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

ha ha.. this week's Valentine stories include this, from Craigslist...
(shades of Leslie!)

TAD KEPPLER
Job: Unemployed, but looking
Objects of desire: Terminator Stout and women with loose bowels

“To the woman that crapped in my car...” read a Jan. 13 post on Portland Craigslist’s Men Seeking Women board.
The author was Tad Keppler, a laid-off marketing and I.T. guy determined to give a date-gone-foul a second chance.
Back in December, Keppler took a Southeast Portland woman—whom he met on Craigslist—to the Northeast Broadway McMenamins. “I thought we had chemistry...sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout,” he says.
But afterward, while the pair were driving in his blue VW Passat, it happened: “There was a little ‘poof’ sound and she got all flushed,” he remembers. “And she said, ‘I think I’m going to have to go home.’”

Keppler tried to call and email his lady numerous times with no response. So he turned to Craigslist to call her out. “I wanted to know I did everything I could to let her know it was cool,” he says. “Everybody has gambled on a fart and lost.”
Two weeks ago, the woman finally contacted Keppler. She told him to “move on.” And he is—Keppler moved to Seattle last week in the hopes of finding a new job.
But WW still salutes him—either for his ability to make up a damn funny Internet joke or his determination to pursue a whiff of true love, no matter how crappy the situation. KC.

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

sounds like somebody tried to mug a chav. A new twist.


Very funny - best of CL is great!

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Ray´s a laugh is he not?

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Oh God, my sides are aching. :rofl:

Re: CRAIG'S LIST CLASSIC
 

Vinnie Van Go Go's has good pizza though, :)