Tim Dart

I’ve got a big decision and I thought I would share it and get some opinions. I really don't know what to do. So to give everyone some brief background:-

I've lived in Canada for 5 years on the East Coast (the Maritimes). I split up with the wife in October 2010 and moved back to the UK at Christmas 2011 to be near my family in Torquay Devon. I was a little bored with the job and the separation agreement kind of left me footloose and fancy free if you know what I mean! So I thought I would come back and try it for a bit.

It's been a little strange being back but I'm getting used to it. I'm loving riding my bicycle everyday at the moment it's something I missed doing year round out there, we got a lot of snow in Moncton. It's challenging finding work back in the UK in my trade (Art Director) but that's no shock. I knew that before I came back.

And now the problem:- The firm I worked for in Moncton, Canada just offered me my old job back and I really don't know what to do. I mean I liked it in Canada but not sure if I loved it. But it’s work, should I turn it down? I mean for five days of the working week, it doesn't matter where anyone works right?

So do I go back and give it another go and maybe see things a little differently? Or do I stay and just chill and hope everything will fall into place. But knowing that I may have to work away? Up North. Not loving that so much. I'm a Devon lad at heart, sorry.

To throw something else in the mix my mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

Anyone with any similar experiences?

Wub

Its a difficult one you've got there! But to answer your question (though not in the same circumstances as yours I have to say), I'd take a chance and come home to stay.

Reason? You've already tried, you've obviously ended up disliking living over there and to go backwards instead of forwards isn't something I would personally choose to do.

Sometimes, we have to put others first. If your mum is in the early stages of what can be a most debilitating illness, would you feel content being thousands of miles away when you had the option of at least being in the same country as her?

As for jobs, London, Manchester, Birmingham et al all have opportunities in your particular sector. Its just a case of being very pro active, very determined and very focused on remaining in the UK before you're likely to secure a reasonable position. Employers can tell if people are not too committed very easily and your indecision about location will likely filter through at interview.
You need to commit and you need to decide where you want to be and why you want to be there.

Tim Dart

I know I've been saying to myself I should and need to move forward. It's just the easy option to take the job in Canada and to turn work down when the UK is in a down turn seems crazy. It's make my mind up time. I have to let them know by Monday.

Thank you for your input.

lilybilly101

If you've no kids what harm can it do trying it? You sound like your esy either way so I would go where the job was I think.

I wouldn't, couldn't go back to Canada because I just love being back so much, however I'm lucky enough to be employed, have kids, husband, dog, home...... we're in a position where it HAS to work here!

With new eyes you may well settle. Good luck.

janeyk

I did just that went back for a job and regret it, although I do not hate the current job its not home, its not with family etc etc so round 2 here we go!
BTW I love Devon/Cornwall and would love to live there but 3rd time lucky I am not sure so onwards and upwards more difficult is I have children and the moving back and forth is not very good for them

Tim Dart

I'm luck, I'm on my own. My son lives with my ex in New Glasgow. I have turned the job offer down. But I've got this feeling I may have done the wrong thing. I love the UK, but the job market is tough. Never mind the property market is silly over priced. Only plus is that cars are cheap.

All my family lives in Torquay. Lovely place to live. But there is no jobs down here. I would have to work up North. I kind of feel that if that's the case I might as well move back to Moncton.

It's doesn't help that my old firm in Moncton want me back really badly. Sometimes I wish I had never moved to Canada. It would make life easier.

sallysimmons

You obviously prefer the UK so I would stay. But leave Devon for now if you have to. After all, if you go nearer to London (or another big city) you're still much closer to home than you would be back in Canada. You'd be able to have weekend breaks and holidays back in Devon. Meantime, you could keep your eye out for work there and when something comes up, make the move back.

Much harder to do that from Canada!

I totally empathize with your love for Devon - it would be hard to drag me out of Yorkshire, so I know the feeling - but a move wouldn't be forever. Just an interim move until you can get the life you really want. A move to Canada would take Devon out of the picture for years.

Edited: another idea - move further north for work and build up a freelance design business on the side. Having your own clients would give you the freedom to live wherever you want.

jemima55

Hi Tim,
You really do seem torn, heart versus head! I just wanted to extend my best wishes that things work out for you and say let us know how it`s going. We are in the process of moving back and it feels like a difficult time for us all. I really hope a good job comes along for you and you can begin to feel happier with your decision.

curleytops

I agree with Sally. You're on your own at the moment so that gives you a bit more flexibility. Frequent trips home to Devon (if you end up having to go work in the north) are going to mean a lot to both you and your Mum now. Back in the mid-90's I moved from Toronto back to where I had grown up in Canada to be closer to my family. From an employment standpoint, it was a tough move but some time after that my Mum died very suddenly. I will be forever thankful that I got to spend those last four years near her and although there were some lean years for me, I never regretted the move. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide

Bevm

I agree with move for the work, but look at transportation, too. Whether it's by car, train, or bus, there are easier places to travel from and harder. For example, I believe there's a train direct from Birmingham to Exeter, and also from Manchester, but if you go to the north east I don't think there's any choice other than through London, and it's a long car journey, too.

Bev

cheeky_monkey

out of interest how old is your son?...seems kind of strange you would move back to the UK and be in a completely different country from him?..unless hes grown up?

Tim Dart

He's 12, and were really not close. I wouldn't do anything like move back if it was going to upset him. He's very much his mothers son and I don't mean anything nasty about that. It's just the way it is. I worked away a lot in Moncton and came back on weekends. We talked about it extensively before I came back last year and he was cool about it.

I have been talking with him the last few days about it as well. I've been trying to get what his feelings were about if I took the job etc.