Ash UK/US

I logged on the computer about 10 mins ago and in that time I have had 3 calls from different charities wanting me to donate... I am getting pissed off now!

I really like the Do Not Call list, it did cut most of the sales calls, if only I stop the charities harrasing me!

Rant over.

Englishtart

Hate those calls too! I always say "I am just the domestic help here"

Ash UK/US

lol
They always start those calls Hi Mrs ***** how are you today, I would love to cut in right there and make up a list of bad things, I am up to my neck in medical bills. my car just got repo'd, my house is in forclosure, my husband run off with another woman and I am pregnant with my 8th child.... If only I had the nerve!

tamms_1965

I just hang up on them now. I used to let them finish their spiel but I don't really owe them that.

Ash UK/US

I tell them I never donate to phone charities, Habitat was one of the worst offenders. We did actually donate to them but it got to the point that they would call at least twice per week asking for more, I was furious, we no longer donate to them.

tamms_1965

Yep, that's how it all starts. You give once and then they think you're a money tree!

neil

I always tell them that I have my charitable donations planned for this year. This works well for those who come to the door too.

Ash UK/US

for the ones calling for donations for police/fire dept charities I tell them that is what I pay taxes for.

SpoogleDrummer

I don't answer my phone unless I recognise the number, mainly due to people still calling for the person that had the number atleast 2 years ago. What bugs me most about it isn't the fact the lazy swine never told a few people she changed her number it's the people she never told such as her children's doctor and even her bloody parents

lisa67

on my phone the charity calls come up as "unknown number" which is also what my rellies from the UK calls come up as so I usually answer the phone but when they ask for me by name I tell them "she's not in" ....u=it really bugs me though!

Ash UK/US

LOL

Englishtart

That's how we got 'caught' in TX, we gave to a police charity over the phone, from then on we had the firemen and every other charity in TX calling us! In the end I just said, hubby is military and give $50 a month to the CFC! It actually worked, we stopped getting the beggars calling!

Sir Denis Eaton-Hogg

Not to mention the habit of re-using numbers!

We used to get a ton of junk calls to a previous owner of a number, even though we put ourselves on the do not call list. they all asked for the same woman who was clearly on all the 'suckers' lists. Drove me and Lady E-H mad.

Although... they have decided to waste your time why not waste some of theirs? These guerilla tactics responses, although a little cruel to the person on the other end seem to get you blacklisted pretty quickly and stop the calls nicely

Only works on human callers though, not the robot dialers.

Loads of fun.....

a) If they open with 'How are you today', or similar just launch into this in your best Monty Python old lady/crone voice
'Ohh bleedin awful, the dogs got fleas, er next door won't stop with the banging, the gas is on the fritz, ave you seen the price of fish, an him, don't get me started on im, he's no elp... sitting a round all day... etc etc. It’s doubtful you will get past one or two sentences

b)Great one for us Brits in the USA, just fake the strongest thickest regional UK dialect you can get away with, just talk utter drivel but fill your responses with as many regional or made up words as you can. thick Glaswegian, West Country, Geordie and Cockney rhyming slang work really well, think Worzel Gummidge meets Rab C Nesbit. British Empire era Brigadier or ridiculously upper class twit work wonders to.

c) For maximum impact in you best Hannibal Lecter voice, for a male or female caller just go with ' My what a charming voice you have, you sound lovely (dramatic pause) tell me, what are you wearing?' Guaranteed to result in a hang up.

d) Ask them their name, and to spell every single word repeatedly as if you don't understand. read back every word to them as they do it but make deliberate mistakes, repeat yourself transpose letters etc. then ask them to do the same with the company name, where the office is etc. Drives them nuts

e) Interrupt immediately with 'Amazing! Xenu told me in a dream last night that I would bring good news to a stranger today, and here you are. Can I just take a moment of your time to tell you about the wonders of Scientology?' Unless you are really unlucky this works a treat.

tonrob

I tell them I have someone at the door, and ask if they can they just hang on a minute. Then carefully lay the phone on its side and go back to watching TV.

britvic

Same as.