14 Years in California & still homesick!
May 3rd 2008, 7:25 pm
#31
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Are all your children American citizens?
May 3rd 2008, 11:37 pm
#32
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
You don't have to tell anyone! And it doesn't involve you giving up your British citizenship. I know that it is a bit of work but I can only imagine how much you will kick yourself down the line if you don't.
May 4th 2008, 5:36 am
#33
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
If I only spend 2 months back home, surely I can come back right? We we were handed our green cards we were told that as long as you were not out of the country for more than 12 months you wouldn't loose it. Is that not right?
May 4th 2008, 5:40 am
#34
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Two of my kids were born in USA. My first was born in England. They all carry British passports.
If I only spend 2 months back home, surely I can come back right? We we were handed our green cards we were told that as long as you were not out of the country for more than 12 months you wouldn't loose it. Is that not right?
If I only spend 2 months back home, surely I can come back right? We we were handed our green cards we were told that as long as you were not out of the country for more than 12 months you wouldn't loose it. Is that not right?
May 4th 2008, 4:05 pm
#35
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
But the older one then isn't an American citizen (so see below).
If I only spend 2 months back home, surely I can come back right? We we were handed our green cards we were told that as long as you were not out of the country for more than 12 months you wouldn't loose it. Is that not right?
http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Green_Card_Abandonment
And even if you keep your Green Card, you may find you re-start the naturalization clock from zero when you return.
Two months would not normally be a problem but what if you want to stay longer? So many people start out with a short absence that becomes long term and then cannot come back.
Same will apply to your older child. Unless your husband has become an American citizen, in which the child is probably also American.
I know it's probably not what you want to hear but especially for the sake of your older child, you should be getting American citizenship before you think about spending any significant time outside the United States.
Last edited by JAJ; May 4th 2008 at 4:16 pm.
May 4th 2008, 6:24 pm
#36
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
I emigrated with my husband (originally from Belfast) and 3 month daughter in 94 to California. I have tried very hard to fit in, but never felt settled. Husband has electrical business and loves it here, hates England! We now have 3 kids ages 14, 11 & 8 and all I can think about is being back home with my family and friends. My life was good in England, and a lot more exciting than it is here, but my husband really wanted to move to States. I have tried to settle and keep telling myself that I have such a wonderful life, nice house in a beautiful setting, big car, sun shine, but none of that makes up for not being where my heart is. I have been told to get a job and earn enough money to travel, but that just isn't the same. I actually find visiting just unsettling - 3 or 4 weeks of running around trying to see everyone, buying all the things I can't get in States and cramming them in my suitcase and then at the end having the tears & saying Goodbye. It's Hell! So now I feel that if I am going to go back home, I better do it now before my kids get any older. My 14 year old is already saying she doesn't know if she wants to go. My husband refuses to go and tells me that if I go I will have to do it alone! Although he understands my problem (he never got over leaving Ireland), he feels it is a better life here and does not want to start his business all over again (he is 49).
Help me. What should I do? Quoting the words from the Clash "Should I Stay or Should I go now?, If I Stay there will be trouble & if I go there will be double" Just a bit of humor there! Actually I feel like I'm going insane!
Help me. What should I do? Quoting the words from the Clash "Should I Stay or Should I go now?, If I Stay there will be trouble & if I go there will be double" Just a bit of humor there! Actually I feel like I'm going insane!
May 22nd 2008, 2:11 pm
#37
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
I emigrated with my husband (originally from Belfast) and 3 month daughter in 94 to California. I have tried very hard to fit in, but never felt settled. Husband has electrical business and loves it here, hates England! We now have 3 kids ages 14, 11 & 8 and all I can think about is being back home with my family and friends. My life was good in England, and a lot more exciting than it is here, but my husband really wanted to move to States. I have tried to settle and keep telling myself that I have such a wonderful life, nice house in a beautiful setting, big car, sun shine, but none of that makes up for not being where my heart is. I have been told to get a job and earn enough money to travel, but that just isn't the same. I actually find visiting just unsettling - 3 or 4 weeks of running around trying to see everyone, buying all the things I can't get in States and cramming them in my suitcase and then at the end having the tears & saying Goodbye. It's Hell! So now I feel that if I am going to go back home, I better do it now before my kids get any older. My 14 year old is already saying she doesn't know if she wants to go. My husband refuses to go and tells me that if I go I will have to do it alone! Although he understands my problem (he never got over leaving Ireland), he feels it is a better life here and does not want to start his business all over again (he is 49).
Help me. What should I do? Quoting the words from the Clash "Should I Stay or Should I go now?, If I Stay there will be trouble & if I go there will be double" Just a bit of humor there! Actually I feel like I'm going insane!
Help me. What should I do? Quoting the words from the Clash "Should I Stay or Should I go now?, If I Stay there will be trouble & if I go there will be double" Just a bit of humor there! Actually I feel like I'm going insane!
I have just got divorced from my American husband of 8 years, we were together for 12, and i have been in the States for 17 years all together
I am considering uprooting and taking my 3 kids back home, my husband will completely sign over all rights to the kids to me,he will put up no battle. He cannot support us, so would rather i took them with me.
I miss my family very much, I have no support system here at all now. I feel a little like im going home with my tail between my legs,but i have really tried this past year to raise my family by myself, and im facing an uphill battle.
I understand the country had changed a lot since i last lived there as a teenager, but it is still my home, that has never left me. I think my children will enjoy it, they show an interest in living there, my oldest daughter has said she would live there when she was older, and my Son was born there, and sees himself as English through and through...
Im unsure about the future, but i would rather face it with people who love me supporting me, than try to do it alone.
May 22nd 2008, 7:20 pm
#38
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Location: California, USA
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
I have just got divorced from my American husband of 8 years, we were together for 12, and i have been in the States for 17 years all together
I am considering uprooting and taking my 3 kids back home, my husband will completely sign over all rights to the kids to me,he will put up no battle. He cannot support us, so would rather i took them with me.
I miss my family very much, I have no support system here at all now. I feel a little like im going home with my tail between my legs,but i have really tried this past year to raise my family by myself, and im facing an uphill battle.
I understand the country had changed a lot since i last lived there as a teenager, but it is still my home, that has never left me. I think my children will enjoy it, they show an interest in living there, my oldest daughter has said she would live there when she was older, and my Son was born there, and sees himself as English through and through...
Im unsure about the future, but i would rather face it with people who love me supporting me, than try to do it alone.
I am considering uprooting and taking my 3 kids back home, my husband will completely sign over all rights to the kids to me,he will put up no battle. He cannot support us, so would rather i took them with me.
I miss my family very much, I have no support system here at all now. I feel a little like im going home with my tail between my legs,but i have really tried this past year to raise my family by myself, and im facing an uphill battle.
I understand the country had changed a lot since i last lived there as a teenager, but it is still my home, that has never left me. I think my children will enjoy it, they show an interest in living there, my oldest daughter has said she would live there when she was older, and my Son was born there, and sees himself as English through and through...
Im unsure about the future, but i would rather face it with people who love me supporting me, than try to do it alone.
I think you would be right to move home and be closer to those who love and support you. The kids will benefit so much from it and open their eyes to the world. Good luck to you and your family
May 22nd 2008, 10:21 pm
#39
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Gosh Jamz, things are moving on for you - good on you! I hope it all goes smoothly now that you have taken the first decisive step.
May 22nd 2008, 11:00 pm
#40
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Hi JAMZ and others in the same situation.
I have a lingering fear that once my wife and I move back to California (I'm a USC, she is English) that she'll hate it there or find herself being homesick, even though she really wants to emigrate with me. I'd hate for our marriage to end simply because we want to live in two different countries.
If you don't mind me being personal, what is it exactly that made you so homesick for the UK? Was it missing friends and family? Or simply that nowhere else can feel like home to you? Is there anything you think would have helped you feel more at home in the states?
I read your first post and it sounds like a little of both for you, but I hope you don't mind getting more elaborate about your feelings.
Thanks in advance!
I have a lingering fear that once my wife and I move back to California (I'm a USC, she is English) that she'll hate it there or find herself being homesick, even though she really wants to emigrate with me. I'd hate for our marriage to end simply because we want to live in two different countries.
If you don't mind me being personal, what is it exactly that made you so homesick for the UK? Was it missing friends and family? Or simply that nowhere else can feel like home to you? Is there anything you think would have helped you feel more at home in the states?
I read your first post and it sounds like a little of both for you, but I hope you don't mind getting more elaborate about your feelings.
Thanks in advance!
May 23rd 2008, 1:42 am
#41
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Thats my problem, I am making everyone in my family unhappy. My husband has told me he can't live with me like this anymore. He wants me to go back. I have decided to travel back for an extended stay this summer. I have a job lined up and a place to rent so hopefully I will experience it in real as opposed to a holiday which just isn't the same. Maybe this will help me to make my mind up. Hubby is happy about that, so we will see.
May 23rd 2008, 5:30 pm
#42
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Don't worry I have absolutely no intentions of ever leaving my children. They are everything to me and no matter what happens I will always be with them. My husband is not capable of taking care of them! I am doing everything I can to make it legal for me to travel back with them and just praying that he signs those papers.
May 23rd 2008, 5:46 pm
#43
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Hi JAMZ and others in the same situation.
I have a lingering fear that once my wife and I move back to California (I'm a USC, she is English) that she'll hate it there or find herself being homesick, even though she really wants to emigrate with me. I'd hate for our marriage to end simply because we want to live in two different countries.
If you don't mind me being personal, what is it exactly that made you so homesick for the UK? Was it missing friends and family? Or simply that nowhere else can feel like home to you? Is there anything you think would have helped you feel more at home in the states?
I read your first post and it sounds like a little of both for you, but I hope you don't mind getting more elaborate about your feelings.
Thanks in advance!
I have a lingering fear that once my wife and I move back to California (I'm a USC, she is English) that she'll hate it there or find herself being homesick, even though she really wants to emigrate with me. I'd hate for our marriage to end simply because we want to live in two different countries.
If you don't mind me being personal, what is it exactly that made you so homesick for the UK? Was it missing friends and family? Or simply that nowhere else can feel like home to you? Is there anything you think would have helped you feel more at home in the states?
I read your first post and it sounds like a little of both for you, but I hope you don't mind getting more elaborate about your feelings.
Thanks in advance!
You are right, it is a bit of both. I am very close to my family and living apart from them has always been hard. My OH who is also from UK (N.Ireland) is not as close to his, so has no problems going for years without seeing them. However, I think there is a lot more to my situation. My OH has become very anti-social and goes nowhere. I have felt very isolated and have spent the last 14 years just taking care of him and the kids. He also has a drinking problem and that has put a huge strain on our marriage so over the years I have started to resent living here and away from my family. He has never really understood why I should want to go home, he hates me ever talking anything positive about England and the kids are not allowed to jokingly talk with an English accent. He even tells them that the English are all idiots and they should not have anything to do with the country.
So hopefully, you can see that in my situation it isn't just homesickness, but a failing marriage. Hopefully if you are both very open with each other and you are willing to let your wife travel at least once a year back home to be with her family, I am sure you will not suffer the same outcome. Make sure you both sit down and discuss this before you leave and be open with each other about your fears.
I am not very good at giving advise as I feel I need as much as I can myself, but I hope this has helped a little.
I wish you both all the best.
May 23rd 2008, 8:17 pm
#44
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Posts: 3,648
Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Don't worry I have absolutely no intentions of ever leaving my children. They are everything to me and no matter what happens I will always be with them. My husband is not capable of taking care of them! I am doing everything I can to make it legal for me to travel back with them and just praying that he signs those papers.
May 23rd 2008, 9:19 pm
#45
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Re: 14 Years in California & still homesick!
Thanks for going into it a bit more JAMZ. I can see how that kind of situation would make you yearn for your old home.
