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Planet of the humans

Planet of the humans

Old May 12th 2020, 1:36 pm
  #181  
 
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
Thanks It does beat the alternative, although the neuro said he's never had a patient so resistant to taking strong pain meds. I'll just do what so many of us are currently, KBO
Maybe your resistance is due to a misspent youth My OH has a similar problem.

KBO.
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Old May 12th 2020, 1:48 pm
  #182  
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
In the case of my step brother, it probably doesn't help that he consistently refuses invitations to family gatherings and ignores my efforts to contact him. I haven't seen him for about 20 years. He really just doesn't want to know me or my brother and sisters. Oh well, his loss.
After my Step-Mother died (who I knew from age 5 to about 27 when she passed) we tried for a bit with two step-sisters but eventually just drifted apart. Always had to make the effort and when I suggested meeting in the middle one Christmas, it was rejected. I didn't end up going all the way to them and then got battered by one of them for 'not wanting to be a family'. Never spoken to either since. It was around the same time they stopped ringing Dad to see how he was (he wasn't their Dad but raised them both with step-mother from 6 and 7). They started ringing daily, then weekly, then every so often and then to 'catch up' because the washing machine broke or they needed money for something. Dad stopped answering immediately and would wait a few days to ring back, more often than not the problem had been solved, short conversation and then nothing again until money was needed. He asked me my opinion the last time he lent cash and I told him very frankly what I thought. I understood his feeling of guilt / responsibility towards them, but they both got a trip here for one of their birthdays paid for by him, including enough cash for a big meal out. I got told to pay and he'd give me the money. Turns out they shopped on his cash and thought we wouldn't work it out. Think that was the final straw and he just never rang them again.
Bit weird being Facebook friends with them still and having nothing to do with their kids who there are numerous of (I think 5 now, maybe 6). Odd, but I don't need that pressure or sort of relationship.

I've got a full blooded Sister who I talk to almost daily. She's wicked good and 4 yrs older so is a proper big Sis. Legend.
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Old May 12th 2020, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
After my Step-Mother died (who I knew from age 5 to about 27 when she passed) we tried for a bit with two step-sisters but eventually just drifted apart. Always had to make the effort and when I suggested meeting in the middle one Christmas, it was rejected. I didn't end up going all the way to them and then got battered by one of them for 'not wanting to be a family'. Never spoken to either since. It was around the same time they stopped ringing Dad to see how he was (he wasn't their Dad but raised them both with step-mother from 6 and 7). They started ringing daily, then weekly, then every so often and then to 'catch up' because the washing machine broke or they needed money for something. Dad stopped answering immediately and would wait a few days to ring back, more often than not the problem had been solved, short conversation and then nothing again until money was needed. He asked me my opinion the last time he lent cash and I told him very frankly what I thought. I understood his feeling of guilt / responsibility towards them, but they both got a trip here for one of their birthdays paid for by him, including enough cash for a big meal out. I got told to pay and he'd give me the money. Turns out they shopped on his cash and thought we wouldn't work it out. Think that was the final straw and he just never rang them again.
Bit weird being Facebook friends with them still and having nothing to do with their kids who there are numerous of (I think 5 now, maybe 6). Odd, but I don't need that pressure or sort of relationship.

I've got a full blooded Sister who I talk to almost daily. She's wicked good and 4 yrs older so is a proper big Sis. Legend.
Yeah, sometimes it's better to just let the relationship fade away than to invest time and effort on one that is one sided and money grabbing. But best to always leave the door partly open just in case they have a change of heart and behaviour - we are after all constantly changing and growing wiser and that is true for everyone. Maybe one day they might appreciate you more and reach out in a positive way. Or maybe even their kids might. It looks like you've left the door ajar which is good, I'd say angrily or formally cutting ties is not always best because once done there is always scope for regretting it later and its hard to wind that back. Odd what age does to us and to our ways of seeing things. As an aside, when your step mother died did your step siblings inherit anything much? The reason I ask this is if everything went to your dad then that could be a reason for their apparent money-grabbing behaviour.

It was sort of like that shortly after my step grandmother passed away. While my grandfather was being cared for by my auntie at her house, the step children who it turns out had keys let themselves into the marriage home and just helped themselves. Things like Fridge freezer, TV, all sorts of stuff.

Funny, I also have just one sibling, a big sis 4 years older. We fought like cat and dog when we were kids but now we are great friends and very close.

Last edited by paulry; May 12th 2020 at 2:17 pm.
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Old May 12th 2020, 9:25 pm
  #184  
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter View Post
You can't choose your relatives, and growing up together and/or sharing genetic material doesn't necessarily create a bond either. It's the luck of the draw. Sorry you got a short straw there.

How are you doing, anyway? Not in hosp again?
Very true.

My wife has a brother she grew up with, share the same parents, but he has no interest in being part of my wife's life or any concern about her. They have a half sister a few years older, and my wife and half sister are close, they share the same dad.




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Old May 13th 2020, 4:32 am
  #185  
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
Yeah, sometimes it's better to just let the relationship fade away than to invest time and effort on one that is one sided and money grabbing. But best to always leave the door partly open just in case they have a change of heart and behaviour - we are after all constantly changing and growing wiser and that is true for everyone. Maybe one day they might appreciate you more and reach out in a positive way. Or maybe even their kids might. It looks like you've left the door ajar which is good, I'd say angrily or formally cutting ties is not always best because once done there is always scope for regretting it later and its hard to wind that back. Odd what age does to us and to our ways of seeing things. As an aside, when your step mother died did your step siblings inherit anything much? The reason I ask this is if everything went to your dad then that could be a reason for their apparent money-grabbing behaviour.

It was sort of like that shortly after my step grandmother passed away. While my grandfather was being cared for by my auntie at her house, the step children who it turns out had keys let themselves into the marriage home and just helped themselves. Things like Fridge freezer, TV, all sorts of stuff.

Funny, I also have just one sibling, a big sis 4 years older. We fought like cat and dog when we were kids but now we are great friends and very close.
Yeah, I never replied to the shitty message I got, I was actually sat on the plane waiting to come back here and just ignored it.
We see their updates and vice versa, they 'like' the odd post or picture but we don't speak. I haven't invited them to our wedding.
Won't ever slam the door on them but it turned sour enough at the end with their behaviour that I'm not fussy if nothing changes. Might do one day, we'll see.

They both got some cash and some jewellery but otherwise, it all went to Dad. Stepmum never worked whilst they were together but did have some possessions from before which they both got as well. They pretty much got to take what they wanted within reason but Dad lived overseas so it was only small bits. They were both there when she died which makes a big difference for them.
My sister and I got given some cash, neither of us wanted it, so instead my sister got an old car from Dad and I got the shares we'd been investing in together to keep.
Was Dad just again feeling bad that if one got something all should get something. He really struggled with me needing a new suit for job interviews (as a random example) and not then going to spend that sort of money on the others as well. He's too soft bless him.
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Old May 13th 2020, 12:57 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Yeah, I never replied to the shitty message I got, I was actually sat on the plane waiting to come back here and just ignored it.
We see their updates and vice versa, they 'like' the odd post or picture but we don't speak. I haven't invited them to our wedding.
Won't ever slam the door on them but it turned sour enough at the end with their behaviour that I'm not fussy if nothing changes. Might do one day, we'll see.

They both got some cash and some jewellery but otherwise, it all went to Dad. Stepmum never worked whilst they were together but did have some possessions from before which they both got as well. They pretty much got to take what they wanted within reason but Dad lived overseas so it was only small bits. They were both there when she died which makes a big difference for them.
My sister and I got given some cash, neither of us wanted it, so instead my sister got an old car from Dad and I got the shares we'd been investing in together to keep.
Was Dad just again feeling bad that if one got something all should get something. He really struggled with me needing a new suit for job interviews (as a random example) and not then going to spend that sort of money on the others as well. He's too soft bless him.
So you and your sis did everything right by the looks of things. And your dad too so you can all hold your heads high. My dad was always like yours with fairness by the sounds of things - tried always to make sure that what he gave to the one he gave equivalence to the other too. Except bedrooms. My sister always got the larger room and I always ended up in the box room, but a pretty fair rationale from him, really. "She got here first, so has first choice". I couldn't argue with that.
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Old May 13th 2020, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
So you and your sis did everything right by the looks of things. And your dad too so you can all hold your heads high. My dad was always like yours with fairness by the sounds of things - tried always to make sure that what he gave to the one he gave equivalence to the other too. Except bedrooms. My sister always got the larger room and I always ended up in the box room, but a pretty fair rationale from him, really. "She got here first, so has first choice". I couldn't argue with that.
I can honestly say my dad (he and mum were married the day before my 3rd birthday), never, ever showed any favouritism to my sister. That takes a very special man IMO.
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Old May 13th 2020, 1:27 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl View Post
I can honestly say my dad (he and mum were married the day before my 3rd birthday), never, ever showed any favouritism to my sister. That takes a very special man IMO.
Indeed. And you fully accepted him as yours. Nice.
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Old May 13th 2020, 1:33 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
Indeed. And you fully accepted him as yours. Nice.
yes he was my dad, the only dad I have known, therefore I never thought of him as my step father.
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Old May 14th 2020, 4:53 am
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
So you and your sis did everything right by the looks of things. And your dad too so you can all hold your heads high. My dad was always like yours with fairness by the sounds of things - tried always to make sure that what he gave to the one he gave equivalence to the other too. Except bedrooms. My sister always got the larger room and I always ended up in the box room, but a pretty fair rationale from him, really. "She got here first, so has first choice". I couldn't argue with that.
I think so too. I don't dwell on it. It's just life, these things happen. From about 11/12 I got the good rooms because my Sister went away to college and then uni, so made sense. Plus, she was a disaster zone and a small room took less time to tidy.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl View Post
I can honestly say my dad (he and mum were married the day before my 3rd birthday), never, ever showed any favouritism to my sister. That takes a very special man IMO.
My partner talks about her Mum being closer to her all her childhood and her Brother close to Dad. She's the only Granddaughter so is a favourite there (Nan openly says it) and now is finding after 9 years out the country her Mum said she's less close to her now and much closer to her Brother. I found the whole conversation so bizarre. It wasn't clearly defining it but it made the point quite obvious. Broke my heart a bit inside that she was made to feel second best by her Mum but I know she meant no harm and was just being honest about the distance and time we've been away but jesus. Some things don't need to be said.
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Old May 15th 2020, 1:35 pm
  #191  
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post
No it's not. Contraception prevents pregnancy. Abortion terminates pregnancy. You could reasonably describe them both as different forms of birth control but they most definitely are not both different forms of contraception. The clue is in the name.
I disagree. Every sperm and every egg is supposed to be used to make a baby. This is God's will. It's called BIRTH control. The clue is in the name. You are clearly advocating murder.
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Old May 15th 2020, 1:53 pm
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

Originally Posted by paulry View Post


Hi BEVS, the answer is above. Not in the format you required, but I've never been one to gladly accept being dictated to.
I posed this general question earlier in the thread. Since you're the one that started the thread, one would assume you would take a non-loser, leadership role and answer --- but you didn't. So, I'll ask it to you directly and, since you are a non-loser, leadership type person, I will not dictate to you. Please answer however the **** you see fit. Just answer.

Paulry. is it a good or bad thing when people of a certain genetic and/or cultural/religious background to move into an area, get all the girls pregnant, and change the skin tone and/or culture/religion of an existing population for the subsequent forever.
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Old May 16th 2020, 4:35 pm
  #193  
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Default Re: Planet of the humans

When parents choose one child over the other, it can really cause major long lasting issues for the child who is not the favorite. I experience this with a close family member, if your going to have more than 1 kid, please treat them as equally as possible.
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Old Jun 29th 2020, 10:14 am
  #194  
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Looks like Greta has red pilled herself!

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Old Jun 29th 2020, 10:24 am
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