Go Back  British Expats > General > Take it Outside!
Reload this Page >

illegal alien request child support from USC

illegal alien request child support from USC

Old Jan 11th 2006, 4:23 pm
  #106  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 16,266
Folinskyinla is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Rete
Even as a once single mother who raised two children on her own without financial assistance or physical or emotional support from their father, I have to say that I find this comment upsetting.

Why is it that a person has to have put up a fight for custody of a child in order for people to think that they are a caring and supportive father. Why is it that people think that a court battle between attorneys where mother and father are pitted against each other is for the benefit of the child.

As a single parent I see it more as a stage for the parents to prove to the world just how uncaring a parent they are in regards to the emotional well being of the child. A custody battle is not normally for the sake of the child but for the sake of the parent.

Not talking about where a child has been abused or neglected by one parent and the other parent is trying to remove them from the situation which is harmful to them. I am talking about just a normal set of parents who want to either hurt the other parent by hitting them where it would hurt them the most or for show only.

In the situation where the mother is a foreign national and does not have permanent residency status in the US, then the mother should be allowed to leave the US with the child and liberal visitation rights given to the father. After all, it is usually the mother who retains custody of the child so why should it be different in this case. This is precluding an abusive mother or a vindictive mother.

The best scenario is that the USCIS grant the foreign born non-resident parent residency in the US until the child is an adult and can decide whom they wish to live with. At that point. if the non-resident parent has not achieved residency on their own merits, then they must leave the US.

The child would clearly benefit by learning the cultures of both parents and having the opportunity if available to live and school in both countries.
Hi Rete:

Its weird to see this very old string come back to life.

Those in the field of family law -- lawyers and courts and support staff -- will have little sympathy for the OP -- when she married her husband, she married the whole package which includes the fact he was already a father. The kid was there first and she had no choice in the matter.

I might have a little more sympathy if this was a situation where OP was already married and hubby and THEN fathered a child via an affair with an "illegal." But that is not the case here.

As an aside -- there was a case a couple of years back from the 9th Circuit involving a suspension or cancellation claim. Man was married then separated. While separated he had an affair and thereafter reconciled with his wife. A child was born of the affair. Wife later had a child. Husband was a true "mensch" in my book -- not only he did religously pay child support for the first child, he made sure to take part in that boy's life.

IJ got very upset when Hubby claimed eligiblity for relief on hardship to both US born kids and denied relief in the exercise of discretion. BIA affirmed. Now, the Court of Appeals has no juridiction to review for "abuse of discretion" in such cases, but CAN review for denial of due process under the constitution. The Court held that due process was denied due to consideration of irrelevant factors. [I can't say enough how extraordianry this is].

When a case comes down like this, the bar often plays a little game of "who was the IJ?" It turns out that 90% of us guessed a particular IJ and we were wrong. It was actually one of the really fair IJ's [now retired]. This particular IJ had a habit of granting on remand in such cases, so I'm sure the family is now together. [Other IJ's are so annoyed at remands that they find ANOTHER reason to deny a second time.].
Folinskyinla is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 4:35 pm
  #107  
~ Relocated to Texas ~
 
CaliforniaBride's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,886
CaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Rete
Even as a once single mother who raised two children on her own without financial assistance or physical or emotional support from their father, I have to say that I find this comment upsetting.

Why is it that a person has to have put up a fight for custody of a child in order for people to think that they are a caring and supportive father. Why is it that people think that a court battle between attorneys where mother and father are pitted against each other is for the benefit of the child.

As a single parent I see it more as a stage for the parents to prove to the world just how uncaring a parent they are in regards to the emotional well being of the child. A custody battle is not normally for the sake of the child but for the sake of the parent.
I was in a similair situation to you and I couldn't agree more.
CaliforniaBride is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:19 pm
  #108  
I'm back!
 
Just Jenney's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Just Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Rete
Even as a once single mother who raised two children on her own without financial assistance or physical or emotional support from their father, I have to say that I find this comment upsetting.

Why is it that a person has to have put up a fight for custody of a child in order for people to think that they are a caring and supportive father. Why is it that people think that a court battle between attorneys where mother and father are pitted against each other is for the benefit of the child.
I'm sorry if my comments upset you, but it appears you are upset because you are misconstruing them.

I NEVER said non-custodial parents aren't caring and supportive unless they put up a fight for custody. All I said was that if Person/Drama isn't happy with or trust the way the child's mother will use their child support payments, then the way around that is to seek full custody. That way, not only can the father spend on the child as he deems appropriate but can also be in his child's life every day.

I would feel the same for any non-custodial parent who harps on and on about the custodial parent's selfish ways and the assumption that she is spending the money on herself instead of the child. You don't like the way she's raising your child? You don't like the way she's spending your child support payments? You think you would do a better job which would benefit your child's life and well-being? Then go for full custody and you won't have those sorts of concerns anymore. I'm not sure what's offensive about that.

You actually posted comments earlier in this thread where you said it seemed that the OP and her fiance (now husband) were only discussing going for custody "not to better the child's life or lifestyle but to ease the financial strain it might cause..." Based on the way the post was written, I got the clear impression that Person and Drama (OP) are the same poster and that's how I interpreted this most recent post; if so, then you and I actually agree on this to an extent.

~ Jenney
Just Jenney is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:25 pm
  #109  
I'm back!
 
Just Jenney's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Just Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Person
Jenny, [sic] If a mother takes 900 dollars and spends it on a trip to Las Vegas that does not benefit a child at all. Unfortunately you or anybody else cannot guarantee that this will not happen.
Well, actually..... Obtaining full custody so the father no longer has to make child support payments with iffy consequences guarantees this will not happen.

Again, you seemed to be transfixed on how the mother will spend the money on herself, not whether she will use the money as it's intended. If that is such a concern to you, then go to court.

The courts should not be in the business of bankrupting Fathers. It is a legitimate question to ask about reduction of child support if the Mother takes a child to a completely different economy.
I never said otherwise.

~ Jenney
Just Jenney is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:25 pm
  #110  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,213
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

And how do you determine that the $900 she used was from the child support funds? A family of 2 cannot live on $900 a month so that means she has income from another source. Just because she is a single parent and receiving child support does not mean she has to assume a nunist lifestyle.

Get real.


Person
Jenny, If a mother takes 900 dollars and spends it on a trip to Las
Vegas that does not benefit a child at all. Unfortunately you or
anybody else cannot guarantee that this will not happen. The courts
should not be in the business of bankrupting Fathers. It is a
legitimate question to ask about reduction of child support if the
Mother takes a child to a completely different economy. Otherwise we
create a system where women seek out to produce illegitimate children
for the purpose of creating "cash cows" in third world countries.

--
Posted via http://expatforums.com

Last edited by Rete; Jan 12th 2006 at 4:52 pm.
Rete is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:28 pm
  #111  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,213
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

=Person
Jenny, If a mother takes 900 dollars and spends it on a trip to Las
Vegas that does not benefit a child at all. Unfortunately you or
anybody else cannot guarantee that this will not happen. The courts
should not be in the business of bankrupting Fathers. It is a
legitimate question to ask about reduction of child support if the
Mother takes a child to a completely different economy. Otherwise we
create a system where women seek out to produce illegitimate children
for the purpose of creating "cash cows" in third world countries.

--
Posted via http://expatforums.com

My, my, has it come to this again? I thought society had progressed to the point where a man is just as responsible for a woman in preventing a pregnancy. If you have physical relations with a woman, use a condom.

Geezus Murphy.
Rete is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 7:55 pm
  #112  
Forum Regular
 
Carl's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 99
Carl is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by lpdiver
A thousand dollars a month child support is quite a lot! sounds like the mother is being supported also.
Not really. I pay over $1100 per month. There is absolutely no accountability for where this money goes either. It's paid to the mother, then she can do whatever she want to with it. As long as I pay the money each month, no body could care less if I am a father in anyway.

Interesting how people in this country seem to equate being a good parent with money. If that's all it took, then Donald Trump would be father of the year. After all doesn't money equal happiness?

What a joke.
Carl is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 8:13 pm
  #113  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,213
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Carl
Not really. I pay over $1100 per month. There is absolutely no accountability for where this money goes either. It's paid to the mother, then she can do whatever she want to with it. As long as I pay the money each month, no body could care less if I am a father in anyway.

Interesting how people in this country seem to equate being a good parent with money. If that's all it took, then Donald Trump would be father of the year. After all doesn't money equal happiness?

What a joke.

Not all people. And, frankly, I've heard the same gripes from UK men I have met online over the last 13 years so it is not only in the US.

I'm going back to my days as a single mother and then it was that the father had to produce all income statements to the court, along with a statement of all his debts and it was then hashed out what "disposal" money was left to be given to me for child support. In 1975 for two children under the age of 7 all I got was $160 a month and he was making $21,000 a year. And then he only paid for six months before dropping out of sight and out of our lives.
Rete is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 8:41 pm
  #114  
Person
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

    > Let me add a wrinkle to this scenario,
    > The child's Mother now recieves 900 dollars a month from the Father.
    > What if the Mother now wants to take the child with her to live in the
    > third world country. Can she do this? Does she need permission from
    > the Father. If the Father gives permission, is he obliged to continue
    > child support to the mother in the third world country? Is there then
    > a need to adjust down the amount to match the economy of the
    > country?Could the mother take 900 a month and live like a queen with
    > servants in this third world country. Oh I know Mothers do not ever
    > take the money intended for the child and use it for themselves.
    > Sarcasm intended!

What I want to know is it possible to revist child support amounts in
court if the primary custodial parent moves to a third world country
with a child. 900 dollars is a heck of a lot of money a month in
guatamala. If I was a poor woman from south of the border I would want
to get pregnant in the USA and bring my child back with me south and
take the 900 a month and pay 100 a month for a nanny, and live off the
other 800 in splendor for the next 18 years. This should annoy a few
but it is the truth.
If you marry a woman from another country and it does not work out then
support for her and any children she may have must be supported by the
man. After the divorce and judgment of support is determined they are
free to move back to their poor economy and really enjoy life there. Is
this not a problem that will entice women to create false marriages
(false on their side) in order to have a huge windfall of money for
themselves for several years?

--
Posted via http://expatforums.com
 
Old Jan 11th 2006, 8:47 pm
  #115  
Forum Regular
 
Carl's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 99
Carl is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Rete
Not all people. And, frankly, I've heard the same gripes from UK men I have met online over the last 13 years so it is not only in the US.

I'm going back to my days as a single mother and then it was that the father had to produce all income statements to the court, along with a statement of all his debts and it was then hashed out what "disposal" money was left to be given to me for child support. In 1975 for two children under the age of 7 all I got was $160 a month and he was making $21,000 a year. And then he only paid for six months before dropping out of sight and out of our lives.
The system tends to estrange fathers and doesn't do anything to encourage them. Would Mom be "happier" with more money? Of course. Would the kids be better off in the long run with a father who is involved in their lives? Absolutely! So, who is this all really for? Just the word Child Support is a complete joke. As if I could really support my child by just sending a check every month. My most valuable gift to my child is TIME. It doesn't have anything to do with money. People will act according to the role which they given within the system. Fathers are given the role of deadbeat from the beginning, whether they deserve it or not, and work from there. So why would they aspire to be anything more? Yes, I'm cynical. Sorry for the rant.
Carl is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 9:37 pm
  #116  
Person
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

    > > Not all people. And, frankly, I've heard the same gripes from UK
    > > men
    > > I have met online over the last 13 years so it is not only in the
    > > US.
    > > I'm going back to my days as a single mother and then it was that
    > > the
    > > father had to produce all income statements to the court, along with
    > > a
    > > statement of all his debts and it was then hashed out what
    > > "disposal"
    > > money was left to be given to me for child support. In 1975 for two
    > > children under the age of 7 all I got was $160 a month and he was
    > > making $21,000 a year. And then he only paid for six months before
    > > dropping out of sight and out of our lives.
    > The system tends to estrange fathers and doesn't do anything to
    > encourage them. Would Mom be "happier" with more money? Of course.
    > Would the kids be better off in the long run with a father who is
    > involved in their lives? Absolutely! So, who is this all really for?
    > Just the word Child Support is a complete joke. As if I could really
    > support my child by just sending a check every month. My most
    > valuable
    > gift to my child is TIME. It doesn't have anything to do with money.
    > People will act according to the role which they given within the
    > system. Fathers are given the role of deadbeat from the beginning,
    > whether they deserve it or not, and work from there. So why would
    > they
    > aspire to be anything more? Yes, I'm cynical. Sorry for the rant.
    > --

Carl, I hear you!

Someone early in this thread said something to the effect of: " ..the
Mother always gets the children, unless something is very wrong with
her..." This mind set exists in many in the courts and certainly with
women. As if men could not possibly be good nurturing parents. Our
cards are stacked against us when it comes to custody. Then women have
the gall to stand on a moral high ground and shout at us in these
threads about us not thinking of the child. Not all women but many.
Life is a compromise; child support and self support. It is difficult
to drive a junkie old car and see the ex with a nice new one when here
job pays much less than your own. To see her go on expensive vacations
clearly with your "support" money. Or worse, her to have some perverse
habit, say gambling where you know your "support" money goes. wasted!

--
Posted via http://expatforums.com
 
Old Jan 11th 2006, 10:46 pm
  #117  
I'm back!
 
Just Jenney's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Just Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond reputeJust Jenney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Rete
And how do you determine that the $900 she used was from the child support funds? A family of 2 cannot live on $900 a month so that means she has income from another source. Just because she is a single parent and receiving child support does not mean she has to assume a nunist lifestyle.

Get real.
Thought I'd add to this and point out that sometimes custodial parents use child support payments for themselves for legitimate -- and legal -- reasons.

Using child support to help meet the minimum income requirements for an affidavit of support comes to mind...

~ Jenney
Just Jenney is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 10:52 pm
  #118  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,213
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Jenney & Mark
Thought I'd add to this and point out that sometimes custodial parents use child support payments for themselves for legitimate -- and legal -- reasons.

Using child support to help meet the minimum income requirements for an affidavit of support comes to mind...

~ Jenney
And AKAIK it is not illegal to do so. It is income and is used to support a member of the family, the child[ren], so there is no dishonesty involved.
Rete is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 10:55 pm
  #119  
Concierge
 
Rete's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 44,213
Rete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond reputeRete has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Person ... [add whatever adjective you want to the name]

This is a forum regarding marriage-based visas, not a divorce forum, a child support forum, etc. You are asking the wrong people this question. Why not go to alt.divorce.?? or ask you attorney. It is an issue between you and the courts not you and the people of this forum. We are only having a field day on venting our spleens in unrelated matters by replying to your posts.

Rete


Originally Posted by Person
    > Let me add a wrinkle to this scenario,
    > The child's Mother now recieves 900 dollars a month from the Father.
    > What if the Mother now wants to take the child with her to live in the
    > third world country. Can she do this? Does she need permission from
    > the Father. If the Father gives permission, is he obliged to continue
    > child support to the mother in the third world country? Is there then
    > a need to adjust down the amount to match the economy of the
    > country?Could the mother take 900 a month and live like a queen with
    > servants in this third world country. Oh I know Mothers do not ever
    > take the money intended for the child and use it for themselves.
    > Sarcasm intended!

What I want to know is it possible to revist child support amounts in
court if the primary custodial parent moves to a third world country
with a child. 900 dollars is a heck of a lot of money a month in
guatamala. If I was a poor woman from south of the border I would want
to get pregnant in the USA and bring my child back with me south and
take the 900 a month and pay 100 a month for a nanny, and live off the
other 800 in splendor for the next 18 years. This should annoy a few
but it is the truth.
If you marry a woman from another country and it does not work out then
support for her and any children she may have must be supported by the
man. After the divorce and judgment of support is determined they are
free to move back to their poor economy and really enjoy life there. Is
this not a problem that will entice women to create false marriages
(false on their side) in order to have a huge windfall of money for
themselves for several years?

--
Posted via http://expatforums.com
Rete is offline  
Old Jan 11th 2006, 10:58 pm
  #120  
~ Relocated to Texas ~
 
CaliforniaBride's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Location, Location.
Posts: 4,886
CaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond reputeCaliforniaBride has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: illegal alien request child support from USC

Originally Posted by Carl
My most valuable gift to my child is TIME.
No it's money. Time does not buy put food in their mouth, clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. You may find familiarising yourself with Maslow's Hierachy of Needs Theory helpful.
CaliforniaBride is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.