Lion in Winter

Sugarmooma, practically a founding member having been one since 2003, has now asked for her account to be deleted and she has left BE. It is no longer a place that she wants to be. I won't try to speak for her on the details, suffice to say that my first post in the TIO Christmas thread covers at least some of it.

She didn't flounce, much too classy for that, so I'm flouncing for her. I had permission from her to speak of her decision on here, so I hope the mods respect that.

She is the most friendly, helpful, pleasant person you could imagine.

It pisses me off that general sections of the forum that should be for everyone are now just a safe zone for those who want only to cause trouble, post their garbage, and generally make it impossible for anyone else to take any pleasure at all in participating.

If she leaves, quite a few others are only half a step away from just not posting any more at all. BE is not irreplaceable.

So will we be having changes, or not?

kimilseung

Very said to see so many good people disappearing.
JSmith
Vitalsttistix
Sugarmooma
I was also looking back at old posts from years ago, they were so different, lots of people commenting, disagreements, but not so much of the rudness back then.

BuckinghamshireBoy

Agree completely with the above two posts.

Another sad day for this place.

mikelincs

Very sad to lose such valued and long contributing people

BristolUK

Could we at least have some recognition from mods/admin that we're not just pissing in the wind because the dismissive responses so far suggest exactly that.

At the moment the silence is deafening and all that's happening is that we're drifting away from BE, one by one, two by four, while mysteriously infrequent posters are reappearing as if by magic to tell us we're all a bunch of cry babies.

I'm gong to report this post to see if the subject gets some deserved attention.

Annetje

This is very sad news indeed. The good ones are leaving and .....

RICH

Hands up if you are sticking around next year' or
I am

old.sparkles

Would anything change that decision?

SultanOfSwing

I am going to stay for now because I don't feel ready to let go just yet but if more of my mates start drifting away (whether they fall or are pushed) then my reasons for staying kind of go with them.

Losing a poster who was here so many years before I was and who was an integral part of the community in the entire time I have been here leaves me feeling a bit empty though.

Lion in Winter

I know you didn't ask me, but:

a) redo the whole TIO format, not just a new name. Break it up.
bi) throw out people who are clearly here only to cause trouble and unpleasantness if, after the designated number of official warnings, they don't stop
bii) BE should not be a platform for bigots and racists. I'm a bigger fan of free speech than most, but some things just cross the line. I'm not talking about "different opinions".
c) establish what the criteria are for bi and ii in a collaborative setting with the regular users
d) don't ever let all that vile far right linking and videos happen again (now largely stopped with the enforced departure of a few, but it went on for about five freakin' years)
e) acknowledge to members that things have gone wrong and that they will now be put right, acting together
f) create a strategy to lure new active members into the general sections from the immigration sections
g) admin and mods, please to take care of the big problems above, and don't micromanage threads where there is no conflict going on
h) there are people here who would help, I'm sure

Right now, it all feels like Nero fiddling while Rome burns. Just my two cents worth.

Lion in Winter

I'm like you. Yeah, it's sad.

I've been on here since 2003. I don't feel a need to officially leave, but there are fewer and fewer people to talk to about the things that I'm interested in. It's impossible, for example, to talk about social issues and political matters without it getting turned into a stupid fight, and you have to pick your way through the threads started only to cause trouble.

Nutek

On the fence and watching to see what happens.

People don’t need to agree with each other, differing opinions are what keep places like this interesting. People do love a good argument, a good moan and a good gossip, But I do not understand the undercurrent of nastiness … I swear, it’s like some people hate each other. What’s the point of that? Why are we here then?

Stop the loaded, snidely one-liners, stop the 5000 word derailments, stop all the blatant racist, bigoted shit posting. Issue a couple of warnings and then start banning offenders. And make it visible so that the community can see the rules being applied.

ugh.. I hate this stuff. Life is too short.

scrubbedexpat098

For my money there are 5 posters at the centre of almost every conflict that turns nasty, make me your king and I will rid you of these people. I'll even give myself a temporary ban for losing my rag with them when I should show restraint.

Lion in Winter

And it wasn't like this before. So this state of affairs is not 'natural' or inevitable.

Nutek

Its forcing me to have opinions on stuff. I didn’t get where I am today by having opinions on stuff.