Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Sorry, I was thinking in Spanish, "Chapeau a la gente...."

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Rosemary - sorry I obviously didn't read closely enough!

HBG - back to the Spanish~integrating bit, sure our neighbours (and we're in deep campo so we're hardly Brit ghetto material:lol:) are happy having us here, we do behave properly, we do try to spend as much of our money in the village rather than on the coast, we use local (Spanish) forges, tyre supply, builders' merchants, hairdressers (well OH & son do, I prefer both sides of my head to have the same length hair:eek:) etc etc and yes, I may not always be fluid and am certainly not fluent, but our son is and I can have a relatively speedy conversation with anyone even in machinegun Andaluz - it helps if both parties are buoyed up by a copa de tinto, of course - BUT do I think we're integrated, absolutely not
is it partly our own fault, well yes of course, but it does take two (or more) nationalities to tango & despite how much I love the countryside (UK or Spain) here it adds tenfold to the difficulties of becoming part of the community
Oh, and Agoreira has a good point about not discounting Brit friends - a mix of most things is the best medicine!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

You will certainly have a better day than we will because it is raining hard here at the moment and looks set for the day.

We do not think that it is a form of elitism at all. We tend to emphasise it because so many seem to think that everyone who moves here lives with other Brits. We chose to live in an ordinary town with ordinary people because we knew that the "forever holiday" would not suit us as people. Our Spanish is terrible but for the past 4 nearly 5 years have managed to survive with it out of necessity.

Rosemary

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

There are few Spanish living near me in UK, but through classes, meetings etc, I know most of them. I would say without exception, they have all integrated perfectly, they are all married to, or living with Brits, so all speak good English. They all seem to have loads of Brit friends, partake of local activities, most of them are into rowing! But what they don't seem to do is ignore each other, they all seem to have their regular "quedadas", eat Spanish food together etc. The forums of Spanish in UK is no different, they are always getting together somewhere. I don't see the problem.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I remember those get togethers, Italians were very much the same, when anyone got hold of "fabes" and the necessary meats, everyone had a fabads.

Everyone loved to see their own countrymen, and would have liked to do it more often, but, as most were working.

But I did not hear anyone say "that they only mixed with Brits, or only wanted to mix with Brits".

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

That is the absolute reality of integrating fully.

My wife is at the moment trying to get a British Alzheimer patient into a suitable Spanish care home, of which there are very few, and it is extremely difficult. The facilities are there, but the patient needs a high command of the Spanish language and even after years of integration in this case, it isn’t enough, complicated by the illness itself.

Mientras . . .making arrangements to go home is no longer an option.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Tough, and a nightmare situation, but the reality is, even though your Spanish neighbours will be willing to help out in times of emergencies and short term, that is no solution, it is advisable to stay in contact with some British, because you may need help in the future, through voluntary services etc.

I suppose there must be loads of cases of British who chose to not associate with other Brits, who now find themselves needing help, ie some sort of care in the community, hospital visits, translators and such, but have lost contact with the people who could help out, through "intergrating fully" into the Spanish way of life.

Just because you may have burnt all your bridges in the UK, does not mean that you should do the same with British friends in Spain
would it not be better to cultivate a friendship with others in a similar situation, to be able to give and get some support and remain in contact with the British community, who would be more able to help out in the worst case senario, through the various voluntary schemes were are set up, with this very situation in mind

Most of the Spanish neighbours will be ageing too, and not be so mobile and up to helping on an ongoing basis.

And most of them would expecting the "incomers" be making arrangements to be with "their own" for want of a better phrase.

Just some food for thought.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Ok yes that was a bit of a sweeping statement. What I'm trying to say is most people move to Spain with the sole intention of bumming around, very few bring any career ambition with them. Those that do & want to develop generally enjoy some success, even if it is just being able to tick over & make ends meet. Unless of course as you rightly point out, circumstances beyond their control prevent them from doing so.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Actually, today I am most definitely NOT. :frown:
The rain is quite pissistant,the wind is blowing,its bloody brass monkey weather and I'm sitting here in all my winter woolies trying to keep warm.
My son says it's quite a nice day back at my UK home.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Your post has highlighted one of the concerns that I have always had regarding anyone becoming unable to understand the normal everyday realities of life such as Alzheimers or a stroke leaving a person incapable of cohesive thought. This sort of condition would be difficult enough in your first language but in a second language I would have thought that it would be too confusing, but as you say it is too late once it has occurred.

My OH stressed himself out a lot when he was first ill because he desperately wanted me to go back to the UK if anything happened to him because he felt that is where I would have support. I explained to him that apart from the family (who all have busy lives) I would be a new returnee to the UK, living in a different area to my existing UK friends so no support system. Whereas if I stayed in Spain (my preference) I already have a good support system within our town. He did not become fully aware of what I meant until he began to go outside the door again and had his hand shook by people that he did not know and then discovered that it was the husbands of people that I knew from my ladies group. Neighbours were absolurely brilliant and I know that I could not have got through the last 16 months without their support and caring attitude.

Rosemary

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Totally agree with you. It is soooo miserable today. Dark, dismal and wet.

I find it hard to do any tasks when it is like this, I tend to lose all my motivation.

Rosemary

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Wherever you live in the world you take personal baggage and things settle into more or less the same routine. If you like walking the dogs like I do then maybe the times will vary. July and August in South of Spain it will be too hot to walk them anytime after 9am and before sunset. Likewise all the BBQ's, not my idea of pleasure in the hot sun until after dark. So your mealtimes will change...for most people. I do know some ex-pats who have lived in Spain for years and still have dinner at 6-7pm:blink:

Lot of talk about fiestas and ferrias...most pueblos only have a couple of days a year, the spanish work hard and don't party all the time contrary to estate agents brochures. Personally I hate ferrias and fiestas, seen one seen them all, even many spanish dislike them and the local paper are always full of them complaining about the noise and disruption.

Socialising with spanish, depends what your idea of socialising is. If you like to spend a few evenings drinking in a bar or going out for restaurant meals then you will be lonely. The spanish usually socialise with extended family at weekends or special occasions. When we lived inland the local bar/restaurant closed at 10pm as everyone went home for dinner. Even before that time there were only a few old blokes playing dominos etc. If you are the type that likes to eat dinner and hang around with friends putting the world to right with a bottle it isn't going to happen. In any case it will take a few years to be fluent enough to do this.

Lets not forget the winters, we had only lived in Spain for 2 winters when we decided we had to get away for some winter sun so we started taking holidays again. Last year cádiz had more rain than manchester:lol: We arranged to meet friends for dinner on the coast two weeks ago, they couldn't make it, road blocked by landslides and they only live in Istan!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Absolutely. Sunday is the big socialiasing day, but most of it only includes the extended family and the odd close friend (maybe someone known since school)

There is not a culture of adults going for drinks at the pub at the end of the day unless they dont have children or the children and grandkids have left home (thats why there are only old men in a lot of bars)

I married into a Spanish family so have it easy, but even if you are fluent in Spanish dont expect to spend a lot of proper socialising time with Spaniards. Spanish people are very polite and friendly but to get an invitation home is a completely different matter.

There are some exceptions where it easier to make Spanish friends, e.g. people in their 20s in the big cities or the small villages where everyone knows everyone.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Yes, my life in Spain so far has turned out to be exactly as I thought it would be.

I gave up work (gratefully) at the age of 50 and have never missed it. I knew that apart from that I wouldn't be living in Spain as though I was on holiday every day - apart from anything else, as I would have 10 years to wait until I start collecting my occupational pensions, the budget would not permit that!

I get up when I feel like it, have a leisurely breakfast, walk down to the shops in town every morning (5 minutes away) instead of doing one big shop a week) and back up again, sometimes stopping for a coffee on the way. I spend 2 afternoons a week at the gym, swimming and doing fitness classes, I read a lot and do an intercambio for a couple of hours a week with a Spanish woman who lives nearby, for language practice. She and her husband have become friends, we are invited to her house regularly and I have met her children when they come to visit, likewise her mother, brother and his family. We have also been invited into other Spanish neighbours' houses for drinks and tapas, usually on an impromptu basis which is nice.

Over the last year we have been taking part in a series of public consultation meetings about a major regeneration project taking place in our area, and we now get invitations from our local councillor to things like receptions which the Ayuntamiento is putting on - nice to get a few free glasses of wine and nibbles on the rates, occasionally!

We go out for meals 2 or 3 times a month, to concerts and art exhibitions both locally and in Malaga. I don't go out to drink in bars as it's not something I enjoy and I didn't do it in the UK either. We go away for 4 or 5 short breaks each year, a couple back to the UK to visit family and friends, and the others to different destinations in Spain. I always wanted to explore this huge country as much as I could, and that's what we are doing. We intend to do more long haul travel in 5 years' time when we will have a lot more income than we do now, once the pensions have kicked in. But before coming to Spain we travelled a lot as my OH worked for a travel company and we could do so very cheaply, so I have already seen quite a bit of the world.

I also intended to learn Spanish when I came out here, and I went to lessons for 18 months and did another intercambio before my present one. Although by no means fluent, I get by very well although I struggle to understand the local Andaluz spoken by my neighbours!

We do have a few British friends here, but to be honest I don't find the company of the majority of British people living around here very congenial. Their political views are diametrically opposed to mine, most of them do very little with their time except drinking in bars or each others' houses and gossiping. They never seem to go anywhere or do anything and as a consequence have very little of interest to talk about. I would not have socialised with them in the UK and see no need to do so here, either.

I did have a few concerns about how I would cope with the Spanish summer heat but so far I haven't found it a problem, and we don't have aircon. I had spent a fair few Christmas holidays in Spain before moving here so I knew quite well that it could be chilly and wet here, so the winters came as no surprise.

So all in all, life is much what I thought it would be - just fine!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

The difference being that in Spain you know that the grey weather will come to an end, and the glorious summer will be guaranteed. I have sat thru many grey, wet winters in the UK, only to be rewarded with - yep, grey, wet summers. We have had to light fires IN AUGUST in the UK because it was so wet, grey and cold.

As for one parner becoming ill, whatever. So what should you do? Stay home in the UK and never emigrate, because something bad might happen?

"Remember to hold on tight to Nurse, for fear of finding something worse?"

Nope. I am happier here, far happier than I was in the UK. Should anything happen to Jan, I will fight on here, and should anything happen to me, I would rather die here than linger on in the uK.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Great post Lynn.

I think that quite often Brits are thrown together just because they live near to each other and many do not have the sense to do as you have done and realise that they would not have mixed with them in the UK so why here in Spain. When I stated that we were not looking for somewhere that would give us the forever holiday one of my fears was ending up in the drinking culture purely because that was all there was. We opted for our town in order to keep our lives "normal", that is normal for us, no pretentions, no change of lifestyle apart from what the country itself changed for us. Never regretted our choice apart from wishing that they spoke Spanish not Valenciano.

When OH had his two very long operations our Spanish friends were there with me, when I tried to send them home I was told that we are an important part of their family so they did not want to go home and would stay to support me. Brit friends who were told that he was in hospital did not ask even the very basic questions "what is wrong" or "why is he in hospital" and never made any further contact to enquire as to his progress until he wrote of his experiences on here. Makes us very wary of becoming involved outside of our own little area.

Rosemary

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I have met some awful British people in Spain but I have also met some wonderful ones who we have been friends with for years. Same as Spanish friends. We had excellent spanish neighbours in some places and in one place they were awful, downright unfriendly. It is naive to think one nationality is better than another, people are the same the world over. I do agree though that over the last decade Spain has attracted more than it's fair share of the "wrong type" of ex-pat.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I don’t want to emphasize the point about becoming ill in a foreign country, but once you get to a certain age it’s something you should consider and not isolate yourself to the extent where the facilities you may need are simply too far away and too inaccessible.

My wife was trying to help an elderly couple today, mostly by just interpreting for them at a health clinic, the couple having already received help and advice from two other local expat agencies set up for that purpose.

Once her business at the health centre was concluded my wife phoned me up panic stricken. On my arrival at the clinic I found two elderly British people, exceedingly confused and totally unable to get home, one had latter stage Alzheimers and the other one was too physically frail to help himself or his partner, and was clearly at the end of his tether.

We drove them home and helped them indoors. The Alzheimer sufferer should be placed in a care home in around four weeks time, at a cost of 2,100 Euros a month. Apart from thanking us, the frail partner didn’t even know what to do next. We telephoned the other agencies so that they could arrange home visits and help with the shopping and a million other things. In the UK, both of them would be in some sort of care home or perhaps looked after by family.

That help is not available in a foreign country, certainly not to the same extent, and both have lived in Spain for over 30 years.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Life in Spain is great, hardest thing for me to get used to is the siesta, I find that by the time I get anywhere everywhere is shut, I admit they open again at about 5pm but it can be time to set off for home then, if you have travelled. I still enjoy my evenings at home watching the box, I have a sender unit and can watch it outside in the cool.

Saturday afternoon is weird, it's the busiest day of the week in the UK, in Spain towns are like ghost towns until Monday.

I think it's far too hot for BBQ's in July and August though.

One thing I find poor, when out and about, it's not so easy to get a decent snack to eat out without sitting, like we might buy a pie for instance in the UK. Wanting the loo is a pain, I feel awful going into a bar without spending, although I am told they have to allow you.

We get the same problems here as every one anywhere, at least we have a nice day to sort them out.

When I get fed up, I try to remember the UK on a wet Sunday afternoon, that usually bucks me up.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

If you don't want to sit down then go to a panaderia, you can usually get empanadas or empanadillas (pretty much like pies, usually of tuna, but can get meat ones). And you have all the sweet things too.

I often get a "surtido de salados" on a Saturday morning, these are a selection a savoury snacks in pastry, such as little sausage coissants, tortilla ones, bacon ones etc. Quite a lot of panaderias do them.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I recently became very ill whilst in Hungary, I was treated like royalty in Hospital the doctors always welcome me with hand shakes and comment on how I look, If I am seen to be waiting for an appointment, the Dr always comes over to me and apologises, Compare that to the UK.
Not sure how they treat you in Spain though, but I guess they are not as busy as the UK Doctors and probably have a little more time for you.

The old age stuff you mention must be hell, whats the answer though other than go back to the UK?

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I do agree with you but, I don't find them very nice, in fact I laugh at Spanish cakes, all the, same just puff pastry, give me a meat n potatoe pie anyday, lol.

In future I am going to buy a camper/day van and take some egg butties:thumbsup:

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I do like a good quality pork pie or sausage roll, but there are equivalents that are Spanish and just as good, though not available everywhere. I ate something called "queso de cerdo" in Granada, absolutely delicious. And in Malaga province I always go for lomo en manteca, means I dont miss any British food at all!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I have the life I expected, but then again, it is the same life I experienced when staying in our flat in Galicia, only there is more sun here.

I presume that some are living the life that they signed up for, but that life is not longer relevant to them now.

The same thing happens with Spanish couples who relocate. A city person from Madrid finding their slice of heaven in the mountains of Valencia.

A way from the hustle and bustle they were used to while working, with their own piece of land and peace and quiet, may find that the house and garden becomes too much, and what once was peace and quiet now is seen a lonliness.

Ilness, frailty may make the bringing in the wood to keep the place warm, more and more difficult, I sippose that would be the time to be heading back.

The couple who moved to a place where there were loads of playmates for their own children, now find that as their children have left, they dont want to be bothered with the noise of other peoples children.

Yes, they got what the signed up for, but now their needs have changed, it happens all the time.

That is why there are/were loads of Spanish country/villages for sale at reasonable prices, because although it suited the previous inhabitants at the time, their needs changed.

So probably the time to ask the question would be about 20 years after arriving.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Yes, it does happen! :) We have just come in, been out walking all day, pub lunch outside, every seat outside taken, and it's been wall to wall sunshine all day. Just received a call from Spanish friends in Frigiliana, phoning to wish my wife a happy birthday, and according to him it's "muy feo" there. Trouble is I have to do it all again tomorrow! ;) I'm cream crackered!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Enjoy the good weather. Days like that in the UK can be few and far between!

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

According to this the British have a few complaints about the health service in your area.
http://www.typicallyspanish.com/news...le_29706.shtml

Last year spanish Doctors in andalucia were complaining that they were only allowed to allocate 7 mins per patient.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

[QUOTE=JLFS;9258656]I remember those get togethers, Italians were very much the same, when anyone got hold of "fabes" and the necessary meats, everyone had a fabads.

Everyone loved to see their own countrymen, and would have liked to do it more often, but, as most were working.

But I did not hear anyone say "that they only mixed with Brits, or only wanted to mix with Brits".[/QUOTE]

Neither did I, thanks for pointing that out to the people that just like to stir it. :thumbup:

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Is it correct as I recall one poster mentioned during the last few days, that last year Cadiz had more rain than Manchester, Englands rainy city ?

Only asking like. :unsure:

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

I would say that last winter, ie 2009 - 2010 had more rain than Noah.

It was a freak year, no-one had seen anything like it for 60+ years. However, we still had a fantastic summer.

This winter we only had 1 day when the rain was really heavy.

The comparison is thus. I only remember just the one truly fantastic summer in over 30 years (76) in the UK, all the rest rather indifferent. Here, there is just the one really crap winter in 60 years, with wall to wall fantastic summers.

Yeah. I love it here.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

1975 equalled it.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

So did 1990.

There's proof in your theory in that we can remember the years so clearly.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

An interesting thread, still on topic. Didn’t we all arrive, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to explore this exciting country? And what an exciting journey, whether on the coast or in the mountains. I remember asking a barmaid in rural Andalucia for Cerveza for my dogs, thinking that it meant water; the dogs didn’t complain.

I had a year in ‘real’ Spain, halfway to Madrid from the coast. I paid the mayor 50 euros for my satellite dish, 50 Euros for a squiggly yellow line outside my house, 50 Euros for the water and electricity connection which was already there, and 50 Euros to squash a speeding fine. I’m not complaining about any of it, I would gladly have paid 50 Euros when I was queuing to renew my residencia recently, I wouldn’t have needed to get out of bed with that mayor in ‘real’ Spain.

But, I’m reminded: Breathes there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
Tis my own, my native land?

None of us will be able to say that, apart from JLFS, when the time comes.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

We've had quite a few nice days recently here in London. Only downside is that the nights have been quite cold, and we're forecast more frost (and maximums of 7 or 8C) at the weekend. But on balance I prefer this to grey skies, and the sunshine is defintely a blessing. One thing that the UK does benefit from in summer is the long days - from 4am to 10pm it's light in mid-summer.

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

But then Spanish winter days are longer. 6 of one...

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Oh yes, no such place as the perfect destination. A colombian guy used to tell me about his home city. Apparently it had the perfect climate and rarely rained; moreover it never really got cold. But then I had to shatter the dream and ask him why he no longer lived there: "The murder rate and gang influence was too severe".

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

In all honesty, I don't remember other years quite like 76.

However as you say, the good ones stand out for their rarity.

I'm a summer person. I love sunshine, and for all my life up to moving to Spain, I have felt short changed. I've taken great care to check if it wasn't my personal bias, by keeping weather recodrs where we were, and the records bear me out.

I always remember the geraniums I used to grow in the UK. Every day I had to go out and pick off all the shed petals where they fell on the leaves, as if I didn't, the humidity (in summer) was so bad that the petals would start to rot, and that would spread to the leaf it lay on if I didn't pick them off.

Don't kid me that the UK has the 'perfick' climate. In the words of someone on this board, 'Don't piss up my back and tell me it's raining. ;)

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Oh yeah, nowhere's perfect. Spain still has some clouds and rain..... Oh yeah, and it gets dark at night too.....

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

If my main motive for moving was for the weather then I could find better places than the UK or Spain. It is nice to get about 2 hours extra daylight in Spain in the dead of winter, great to have roses out in December. I dislike July and August in Spain, far too hot and crowded. you never get used to it. Perfect weather for me would be somewhere like San Diego, california or parts of South Africa. I wouldn't choose a lifestyle based solely on the weather though as you are bound to be disappointed one day:)

Re: Are you living the life you moved for?
 

Perhaps that´s why I feel differently to you, I have spent several years in various places in the Middle East since I was 20 years old, I have also spent time in Malta, Cyprus, LIbya, Spain etc. and tbh, in the Middle East especially, the same old wall to wall sunshine day in day out, bored me sh1tless. I´m a ""seasons" man, I like them all for different reasons. I´ve also probably had connections with Vejer for longer than you, and I can´t say I´ve always enjoyed the near perfect weather you speak of. We´ve experienced the whole range of weathers there, from rain like I´ve never seen before, roads swept away, to being sand blasted on the coast (not for nothing is the coast full of thousands of wind turbines and wind surfers) and yes, also enjoying great sunshine.