Dick Dasterdly

Neither, I'd settle for a dawg, (4 legged version that is).

JLFS

That is a bit harsh, bearing in mind that to "survive" (not in the literal sense)
lots of women, have had to use it.

Lots of caholic women were brought up to believe that it was for procreation, but complied anyway, because it was drummed into them to obey thier husband............so in that sense it was a tool.

In the smaller places in Spain, in the past, women were either married or stayed single to look after parents in their old age ect, the others had to get married, for a husband to support them, women did not work outside the home in those days.

Part of the marital "pact" was to give in from time to time to the husband, otherwise their lives would have been a lot more miserable......so it was used as a self preservation tool.

And it more than half of the world, this is the situation for women.........women in those cases MUST use sex, because they have no other weapon/tool.

So if if woman has to use sex to save herself a beating, why is it so bad if she uses it for getting what she wants, once in a while?

HBG

There must be more to it than the mechanical act to procreate, surely? Or has the internet finally killed romance? Thinking it through, could men survive with a blow-up doll, cook and cleaner?

I’ve been shouted down for suggesting otherwise, one poster was nauseated by my comment that I adore women, and others have likened me to Maurice Chevalier. Thank God nobody mentioned Gary Glitter.

To put the record straight, it’s women of my own age I lust after, twenty-one, or thereabouts.

agoreira

No complaints here about the filly I picked, we are still together after many, many years! Still with my original choice. Friend of ours was an out and out romantic, red roses every weekend for his wife, whatever they wanted they had, etc, and now after three failed marriages and a string of relationships, he's alone, has been for years, and a very lonely man. And after remortgaging his house a few times to pay off his wives, and support his kids, not a very rich one.

JLFS

well, IOTTB........

bil

I'm not talking about someone who gives in to save themselves from violent abuse. That has nothing to do with it. Of course, one could ask the question, 'If you don't want sex, why are you living with him?'

I'm talking about the women who use sex to get what they want, where it's a tool in everyday life.

I remember one agony aunt replying to a woman who complained that she didn't want sex with her husband any more.

The agony aunt's advice was,' Leave him and go live somewhere else. You cannot honourably live with a man like that and refuse him sex. The marriage contract, while not containing it in writing, means that regular, frequent enough sex is part of the deal.'

bil

Marriage is a failure, let's face it. The divorce rate is on its way to the 50% rate (and bear in mind all those who can't/won't divorce because of religious or financial reasons).

If a business lost half of its customers like that it would be deemed to be doing something very, very wrong. Part of the problem is that men and women are raised with unreasonable expectations about what a marriage should involve. Plus, look at all the girls that are reared with the 'princess complex' and who expect to be spoilt rotten, and of course get pandered to by men like your romantic friend. Naturally, as when dealing with any spoilt person, nothing is ever good enough. It's how they work.

Many women learn very quickly that whoring is an easy way to make a living. By whoring, I don't just mean the simple exchange of hard cash for a sex act, but anything that involves gaining pecuniary advantage by promising sex, or even just hinting that something might be forthcoming in return.

The fluttering of the eyes, the low cut dress, the hitched up skirt. Whether it is to get a free meal or 20 quid up a side alley, the craft is the same.

Dick Dasterdly

Now you can't have it both ways, (unless you're playing away on the quiet of course).
If you have a perfect or near perfect marriage, then you shouldn't be showing your frustration by lusting after other women.

Dick Dasterdly

Marriage has only survived so long because of religion, strict codes of conduct and what is, or was, regarded as respectability.

Tis mans natural instinct to have it off with as many females as he thinks fit, whilst women have their own agenda, the financial security of a permanent partner usually coming top of the list,though other reasons no doubt do come into the reckoning.

agoreira

Well, not all, mine isn't, yours probably isn't either. Surely we're not the exception that proves the rule? My wife reckons I haven't a romantic bone in my body,(resist!) you don't need to be an out and out romantic to have a successful marriage. Another friend absolutely worships the ground his wife walks on, she wants for nothing, leads a life of Riley, and she has now left him to live with a drunken, out of work plonker. I'm not sure all this romantic stuff always works!

HBG

It’s commonly referred to as literary licence, Dick. We have all been granted it to lighten up our lives, although it should be used wisely.

I’ve had more then one relationship with women in my life, I suspect like most men, but to brag of it would mean a breach of that literary licence.

At the same time it surely isn’t wrong to admit an admiration of women, perhaps even using that licence to elaborate.

We’re on our way out for our Saturday lunchtime meal out, and will probably end up in a busy venue where I’m bound to see women that I find attractive. I’m not going to stare at them or make offensive remarks to my partner, but in my thoughts I’m bound to be thinking something that would make my partner (wife) blush if she could read my mind.

Before the meal we go to a Spanish café for coffee and the ambience. As my wife doesn’t read this forum, I think, I’m also looking forward to being served by that Spanish lady with the nice bum. If I didn’t at least glace at the waitress, I know I would be dead and writing from the other side.

Dick Dasterdly

Ah,you talked your way out of that one quite nicely.

By the way I've heard it said on more than one occasion that the average red blooded guy thinks of sex around about once every eleven minutes or so.

Personally I really don't know how he can go that long.

agoreira

Women are better at just about everything......

We could even see Carme Chacón as the new boss of Spain next year now that ZP has said he will not stand again. IMHO Rubalcaba would be the better choice, but the Spanish seem to like to have young women in charge in government nowadays, so I'd put my money on Chacón.

bil

Well, it's fairly obvious that in evolution, some breeding strategies are better than others.

Let's look at the average mammal. Males have a straight choice. Stick faithfully to one female (this gives their offspring the best chance, but also limits how many he can have). Screwing everything in sight means more offspring but with less care for them. Ideally, under normal circumstances, for a male the best strategy is to have a constant partner, but shag a lot on the side.

Women, that's slightly different. They can only have a limited number of offspring, so lack the 'shagalot' option.

Their best choices are either to shag the top male, and stay faithful to him, or else get as high up the ladder as they can with a partner, but then chop and change, each time trying to get further up the ladder. This gives their offspring the best chances as they will have a varied batch of the best genes they can get.

This also nicely explains menstruation. If he hasn't got you pregnant within a month, turn nasty and drive him away. He's just a waste of space. Also, a female seldom has the muscle to drive a man away, so after you have bred with him, best turn the tap off, and sooner or later some other woman will take him off your hands, leaving you to flutter your eyelashes at an upgrade.

The other strategy is to stick with one partner, and use sex to keep him bonded to you, because he is valuable to you, and you don't want some predatory female to steal him.

Of course, all this is speculation, and we have a thin veneer of civilisation, plus goods and chattels to complicate matters. However, if a theory fits snugly with the results, even if you don't like it, you should look at it nonetheless.

I do always say that a man can judge the respect his partner has for him, by seeing if the sex has dropped off once she has what she wants.

bil

What's the rule?

We have been married for over 30 years, and not constrained by religion of anything else to stay together. I'd say we had a good partnership there, because nothing else seems to last that long.

What percentage of marriages do as well?