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Why do so many fail?

Why do so many fail?

Old Jun 14th 2007, 10:40 pm
  #166  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Sorry Glad...I really wasn't implying that you lacked a sense of adventure etc, but was really talking in general terms about human nature. I think you did very well to give it a go and say hey it's not working, for what ever reasons, and call it a day. I was merely trying to get you to stop treating it as failure, or to even allow others to do so. How long does one have to try anything before we class it as success or failure. It is not something permanent. We suceed for a while sometimes, then are not so successful for a while.. it goes in phases. My neighbour is an artist. After struggling for 10 years he sold a painting at an important show in new York, and it took off from there. He now paints full time, and could be considered successful. However there could always be a change, and next year he could stop selling and have to go back to teaching again. The same with many actors.. look at all those stars of the last decades... where are many of them now ?
I think the problem lies with the original post.. this need to judge in terms of success and failure. Britney Spears may be the most successful pop artist of the last few years, but surely we could class her private life as a failure if we must. Ditto Robbie Williams. Margaret Thatcher may have been one of the most sucessful PMs in terms of longevity, but in terms of what she contributed to the elevation of the human race she was in my opinion an abject failure. She improved peoples material lifestyles, but only in selective areas, but there was a poverty of imagination everywhere else.
We need to have different criteria for making our decisions about success and failure..if at all. To try and make comparisons with other peoples achievements is the biggest failure of all. Stand on your own and be confident in your own achievements, and to hell with what everybody else thinks.
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Old Jun 14th 2007, 10:49 pm
  #167  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by sjrw
Good for you. When I read your first few posts on this thread I thought you were just another bolshy brit. I have warmed to your postings over the last few days, though. You are right. When you are in your nursing home at 94 years of age you can look back proudly and say -

"I remember when I lived in Spain. It was good but I was glad to get back to sanity."

Wouldn't it be sad, though, if you said (from your nursing home)

"I wish I'd gone and lived in Spain. Things could have been so different."

You had a go and it didn't work out. So you picked youself up, dusted yourself down and got on with your life. That can only be a positive thing, not negative, so to use the word "failure" would be wrong. Besides, I thought that we had decided that this thread was about "FAILING TO SETTLE" which, per se is not a failure. You have tried it, it went wrong for whatever reasons, and you did something positive about it. Many would just allow themselves to get in deeper, becoming depressed or worse; so you can rightfully congratulate yourself because you did what most people who want to live in Spain don't have the nerve to do - you followed the dream. It's just a different dream now, so good luck with it.

Don't we all admire people who try.

I'll get off now. I'm waffling.
I take your point about 'Failing to settle'... but why do we have to have this concept of being settled....it is so false. We are settled for a while then something disrupts it, and if we learn to acccept this as part of living then we can have a greater chance of being happy, or dare I say it, less discontented. Like losing a loved one to death, may people are unaware of how much they miss their families until they make the move. All the things they criticised about Britain they also come to view in a different light.
We are only finally settled when we are stiff in our boxes with rigor mortis... until then everything is a temporary phase. Viewing a move to Spain should be like adopting the view of a friend after his girlfriend dumped him for someone else. He said she thought she had found someone better...it was never better.. just different..it depends on what suits you.
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 12:16 am
  #168  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by poollounger
Sorry Glad...I really wasn't implying that you lacked a sense of adventure etc, but was really talking in general terms about human nature. I think you did very well to give it a go and say hey it's not working, for what ever reasons, and call it a day. I was merely trying to get you to stop treating it as failure, or to even allow others to do so. How long does one have to try anything before we class it as success or failure. It is not something permanent. We suceed for a while sometimes, then are not so successful for a while.. it goes in phases. My neighbour is an artist. After struggling for 10 years he sold a painting at an important show in new York, and it took off from there. He now paints full time, and could be considered successful. However there could always be a change, and next year he could stop selling and have to go back to teaching again. The same with many actors.. look at all those stars of the last decades... where are many of them now ?
I think the problem lies with the original post.. this need to judge in terms of success and failure. Britney Spears may be the most successful pop artist of the last few years, but surely we could class her private life as a failure if we must. Ditto Robbie Williams. Margaret Thatcher may have been one of the most sucessful PMs in terms of longevity, but in terms of what she contributed to the elevation of the human race she was in my opinion an abject failure. She improved peoples material lifestyles, but only in selective areas, but there was a poverty of imagination everywhere else.
We need to have different criteria for making our decisions about success and failure..if at all. To try and make comparisons with other peoples achievements is the biggest failure of all. Stand on your own and be confident in your own achievements, and to hell with what everybody else thinks.
Yes I agree! You've described it well imho. If I do end up going home eventually it will be for any number of reasons, and failure won't be a word I'll be considering. It would have been an adventure, and something I could look back on hopefully with fond memories.
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 12:40 am
  #169  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by Mitzyboy
Yes I agree! You've described it well imho. If I do end up going home eventually it will be for any number of reasons, and failure won't be a word I'll be considering. It would have been an adventure, and something I could look back on hopefully with fond memories.
We are only finally settled when we are stiff in our boxes with rigor mortis... until then everything is a temporary phase.
A little extreme, but basically true.
cf. The only certainties in life are death and taxes...
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 2:11 am
  #170  
 
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

thank you sjrw your post has just put the cherry on top of a fantastic day

and poolounger I think I misread your post, but I'm glad you understand me.

Anyway completely off topic but last week I took yet another risk. I gave up a job because I didn't like it and felt like I was getting low again. Today it has paid off. It looks like some really good opportunties are coming my way so wish me luck guys

yeh the word "failure" should be removed from the dictionary
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 2:40 am
  #171  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

We were told we were 'not committed' by some other expats because we had not sold our UK house. Committed to what, exactly? We live here and have residency, try to keep the laws as well as we understand them, live in a Spanish village not a British ghetto, have an extremely small income which we have to husband carefully....what more do we have to do to show that we are committed tio living our life here for as long as we chose?

In our case, it was never meant to be a permanent move, we did not have to sell our house to relocate here, and so we have a place to go back to when the time comes. I call that not failure, but good forward planning.

I don't know when we will go back, but whenever it is,we will have done more than many people do. We may even stay. We will know if/when the time is right to move on.

The people who said we were not committed were wrong. We have just done it differently to them, and if/when the time comes to return to the UK, then no way is that failure, it is just the end of that phase of our lives, and we can look back and say 'we lived in a traditional Spanish village for x years, had a strange and wonderful experience and learned such a lot from it'.

Failure if you return? No way Jose!
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 2:46 am
  #172  
 
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by scampicat
We were told we were 'not committed' by some other expats because we had not sold our UK house. Committed to what, exactly? We live here and have residency, try to keep the laws as well as we understand them, live in a Spanish village not a British ghetto, have an extremely small income which we have to husband carefully....what more do we have to do to show that we are committed tio living our life here for as long as we chose?

In our case, it was never meant to be a permanent move, we did not have to sell our house to relocate here, and so we have a place to go back to when the time comes. I call that not failure, but good forward planning.

I don't know when we will go back, but whenever it is,we will have done more than many people do. We may even stay. We will know if/when the time is right to move on.

The people who said we were not committed were wrong. We have just done it differently to them, and if/when the time comes to return to the UK, then no way is that failure, it is just the end of that phase of our lives, and we can look back and say 'we lived in a traditional Spanish village for x years, had a strange and wonderful experience and learned such a lot from it'.

Failure if you return? No way Jose!
That just sounds like a really good plan to me I'd advise anyone moving to Spain to keep their home in the UK.

Sometimes I wish had, as I sold my house in Ireland 6 years ago for 82,000 punts the person that bought it sold it 2 years ago for 400,000E oh well cest la vie
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 3:00 am
  #173  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by glad 2 b back
That just sounds like a really good plan to me I'd advise anyone moving to Spain to keep their home in the UK.

Sometimes I wish had, as I sold my house in Ireland 6 years ago for 82,000 punts the person that bought it sold it 2 years ago for 400,000E oh well cest la vie
Yes, I would advise people to keep a UK property,if it is at all possible, even if only a studio flat. That way you give yourself a choice.

We bought a much smaller/less posh property here than we could have done if we'd sold the UK house and gained another £150,000 capital, but we knew we'd return to the UK at some point. At the moment our son lives in it with two other young men.

Shame about your Irish property!
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 3:08 am
  #174  
 
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

Originally Posted by scampicat
Shame about your Irish property!
not really if I'd sold it for more my ex would have just stolen more money off me he got more than he deserved as it was, considering he only paid half of two mortgage payments in 4 years

as I said cest la vie
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Old Jun 15th 2007, 4:36 am
  #175  
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Default Re: Why do so many fail?

[QUOTE=scampicat;4918620]We were told we were 'not committed' by some other expats because we had not sold our UK house. Committed to what, exactly? We live here and have residency, try to keep the laws as well as we understand them, live in a Spanish village not a British ghetto, have an extremely small income which we have to husband carefully....what more do we have to do to show that we are committed tio living our life here for as long as we chose?

In our case, it was never meant to be a permanent move, we did not have to sell our house to relocate here, and so we have a place to go back to when the time comes. I call that not failure, but good forward planning.

I don't know when we will go back, but whenever it is,we will have done more than many people do. We may even stay. We will know if/when the time is right to move on.

The people who said we were not committed were wrong. We have just done it differently to them, and if/when the time comes to return to the UK, then no way is that failure, it is just the end of that phase of our lives, and we can look back and say 'we lived in a traditional Spanish village for x years, had a strange and wonderful experience and learned such a lot from it'.

Failure if you return? No way Jose![/QUOTE

Probably just jealousy because you still have a place in Britain. My great grandfathers both went out to India in the 1870's. They married, one had 5 boys, the other 14 children. The spent all their adult life in India, yet looked on Britain as home. One was English the other from Northern Ireland near Belfast. They both died in India as they were making preparations to finally return home. I don't think either of their lives could be considered failures, that damnable word!!!
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