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Why Do family's Not support you

Why Do family's Not support you

Old Aug 28th 2006, 8:40 pm
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Default Why Do family's Not support you

Hi,
We are moving to Spain very soon, My god you would think i am moving to the other side of the world, not a 2 hour flight.

Has anyone had this problem with family's not being very supportive and thinking you are making a big mistake.

They either cant crasp that we are really going or it's why do you want to go there?

I get "look what you are giving up" Mmmmm my reply is well we have sold our home, my material things i could not give two hoots about, My husband is self employed and works for himself so not exactly in a employed job.

Also i only see my family every few months i do speak to them everyday on the phone but i am sure i can continue that.

Has anyone ever have similar experience and how did they deal with them, i honestly dont think we will be having any leaving do, are they being genuinely caring or do you think secretly they would of loved to have the bottle to get up and go!!!!!!
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Old Aug 28th 2006, 10:12 pm
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by the sun is shining
Hi,
We are moving to Spain very soon, My god you would think i am moving to the other side of the world, not a 2 hour flight.

Has anyone had this problem with family's not being very supportive and thinking you are making a big mistake.

They either cant crasp that we are really going or it's why do you want to go there?

I get "look what you are giving up" Mmmmm my reply is well we have sold our home, my material things i could not give two hoots about, My husband is self employed and works for himself so not exactly in a employed job.

Also i only see my family every few months i do speak to them everyday on the phone but i am sure i can continue that.

Has anyone ever have similar experience and how did they deal with them, i honestly dont think we will be having any leaving do, are they being genuinely caring or do you think secretly they would of loved to have the bottle to get up and go!!!!!!
Hi,

We have encountered all of the above mentioned, its hard to explain, we have yet to sell our house in the UK but have a nice Farm in inland spain a car and all the things you need for every day life and have spent a lot of time there over the last year. I am sure that too most people, the package holiday brigade, they think anything that does not fit their idea of normal is a huge gamble. Over the years we have booked flights and a hire car and then drove around and found an hotel, most people would be terrified to do this and want things organised, they are usually the same at home.

I am also self employed, and earnings are related to quoting and getting work, no work no pay. The people who won't take risks in life usually have long term jobs etc, talk of redundancy six moths down the line throws them into blind panic even though they have more work lined up than most self employed.

Once you get past the language barrier Spain is'nt so foreign, good infastructure hospitals and lifestyle, and theres the internet with face to face calling for free if you have broadband, and its only a few hours away, yesterday morning i was having a coffee on my patio at 9.00am at 25 degrees and back home freezing at 3 in the afternoon.

Good luck with your new adventure

Paul
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Old Aug 28th 2006, 10:54 pm
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

They secretly wish they had the bottle to do it too. Take no notice, get on with your life and enjoy it. People can be so rude and unsupportive.

You will find out who your friends are...and when and if they ever come on holiday, you´ll find you see people more here than you would in the UK.

We are friends with people now, who I never saw socially in the UK, but they knew we moved here and always call us when they are coming. Its lovely.

Enjoy and good luck
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 2:18 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by j0197
They secretly wish they had the bottle to do it too. Take no notice, get on with your life and enjoy it. People can be so rude and unsupportive.

You will find out who your friends are...and when and if they ever come on holiday, you´ll find you see people more here than you would in the UK.

We are friends with people now, who I never saw socially in the UK, but they knew we moved here and always call us when they are coming. Its lovely.

Enjoy and good luck
Hi,
Thanks for everyones advice? They just all get on my nerves moaning and whining about there own llife'sthats the thing i think half the time they wish they had the balls.

Like i have said before if they really wanting to change there llife's they can and if we go and make the biggest mistakes of our life england is still here, but i will be giving it 150% to make it work then i can stick two fingers up to them all
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 2:26 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by the sun is shining
Hi,
Thanks for everyones advice? They just all get on my nerves moaning and whining about there own llife'sthats the thing i think half the time they wish they had the balls.

Like i have said before if they really wanting to change there llife's they can and if we go and make the biggest mistakes of our life england is still here, but i will be giving it 150% to make it work then i can stick two fingers up to them all
Once you are settled you will probably see more of them than you did before
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 2:32 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by jdr
Once you are settled you will probably see more of them than you did before
Thats what i say? thing is everyone is like still going then? thought you had knocked it on the head? it's nag nag nag i would love to go now however house is not done yet but i suppose it gives me time to convince them we are doing this for our family me, hubby and kids, they are what matters most, hubby and i both love our family's but they are not here all the time and we have to make our life's what we want them to be.

It's just nice to hear that other ppl have been through the same.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 2:50 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Its a great life for the kids. My little girl is nearly 3 and outside playing in the urbanisation all day with the other kids....I have my eye on her 100 % all the time still as she is so young, but she is having a great time.

Its a great place to live and you can always go back if you wish. When we moved here it was just the 2 of us. We couldnt beleive how easy it was and how free we felt without all our belongings and were quite tempted to try somewhere else like Italy. But then fell pregnant just a few weeks afterwards and decided to stay.

Just take it easy when you get here, try not to do all the things you would doif you were on holiday. Too many people I knew did that and ran out of money then did have to go home.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 2:58 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by j0197
Its a great life for the kids. My little girl is nearly 3 and outside playing in the urbanisation all day with the other kids....I have my eye on her 100 % all the time still as she is so young, but she is having a great time.

Its a great place to live and you can always go back if you wish. When we moved here it was just the 2 of us. We couldnt beleive how easy it was and how free we felt without all our belongings and were quite tempted to try somewhere else like Italy. But then fell pregnant just a few weeks afterwards and decided to stay.

Just take it easy when you get here, try not to do all the things you would doif you were on holiday. Too many people I knew did that and ran out of money then did have to go home.
We go to Spain quite a lot so would not do the tourist things, i just want to get us settled in and get the kids started at school, hubby will be working straight away. i have told my family that it will be the same as here days where I'm bored and feeling down and days we are going out as a family we just want sunshine and to be able to get on with our life's without interfering family members who just nag nag nag.

You would of thought they would like the free holidays but no they moan at that dont do planes etc etc etc, cant afford it? all that usual rubbish, my mum says oh if only i was younger i mean she is only 53 nothing keeping her here but i still think it comes down to if you are determined then it can work out and boy i am.

I think they are hoping i come back and say they were all right but I'm not going to.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 3:33 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by the sun is shining
We go to Spain quite a lot so would not do the tourist things, i just want to get us settled in and get the kids started at school, hubby will be working straight away. i have told my family that it will be the same as here days where I'm bored and feeling down and days we are going out as a family we just want sunshine and to be able to get on with our life's without interfering family members who just nag nag nag.

You would of thought they would like the free holidays but no they moan at that dont do planes etc etc etc, cant afford it? all that usual rubbish, my mum says oh if only i was younger i mean she is only 53 nothing keeping her here but i still think it comes down to if you are determined then it can work out and boy i am.

I think they are hoping i come back and say they were all right but I'm not going to.
Fifty three is young!!!! But I expect it is because she will miss you.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 3:57 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by glynis
Fifty three is young!!!! But I expect it is because she will miss you.
53! Tell your mum the pension queue will come soon enough and when it does this government will have taken most of it, she is still young enough to do something 'she' wants to do!

I've spent the last 30 years bringing up my kids, I now have 4 grandkids as well but come January I will be making the move too with my youngest who is 14, the other 3 are grown and love the idea of coming to Spain.

I'm 51 by the way

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Old Aug 29th 2006, 4:12 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

My family are just the same, my partners not so much. but my sister is as green as grass.

We have been here 6 months and I gave up a good profession because we wanted something different, and we have found it. The life we are having is fantastic, to day for instance.we have made some spanish friends they speak no English and we didnt, until we got here speak any spanish but we manage to have long conversations now, over many things from politics to football, I called around her house to return something. well with in seconds she was giving me Tinto and other spanish friends were arriving. I was about to go to prepare my husbands lunch (as he is working on out house) and she said Jose is home soon you must eat with us. We have spent a lovely long lunch chatting drinking and living "the Mediterranean life style"

I to get the noise from my family "well we cant all just get up and run." Our reply is, yes you can if you think you can and that is our motto "you can do any thing if you think you can"

We said the same if it does not work, we can always come back but we have tried and already I have gained a skill my spanish is coming on really well and according to our amigos I will be fluent in a year so here is to the next 6 months.

Good Luck and just shut your ears its the green eyed monster.



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Originally Posted by the sun is shining
We go to Spain quite a lot so would not do the tourist things, i just want to get us settled in and get the kids started at school, hubby will be working straight away. i have told my family that it will be the same as here days where I'm bored and feeling down and days we are going out as a family we just want sunshine and to be able to get on with our life's without interfering family members who just nag nag nag.

You would of thought they would like the free holidays but no they moan at that dont do planes etc etc etc, cant afford it? all that usual rubbish, my mum says oh if only i was younger i mean she is only 53 nothing keeping her here but i still think it comes down to if you are determined then it can work out and boy i am.

I think they are hoping i come back and say they were all right but I'm not going to.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by gallerie9
My family are just the same, my partners not so much. but my sister is as green as grass.

We have been here 6 months and I gave up a good profession because we wanted something different, and we have found it. The life we are having is fantastic, to day for instance.we have made some spanish friends they speak no English and we didnt, until we got here speak any spanish but we manage to have long conversations now, over many things from politics to football, I called around her house to return something. well with in seconds she was giving me Tinto and other spanish friends were arriving. I was about to go to prepare my husbands lunch (as he is working on out house) and she said Jose is home soon you must eat with us. We have spent a lovely long lunch chatting drinking and living "the Mediterranean life style"

I to get the noise from my family "well we cant all just get up and run." Our reply is, yes you can if you think you can and that is our motto "you can do any thing if you think you can"

We said the same if it does not work, we can always come back but we have tried and already I have gained a skill my spanish is coming on really well and according to our amigos I will be fluent in a year so here is to the next 6 months.

Good Luck and just shut your ears its the green eyed monster.



green
Hi,
Thanks for all of your replies and your positive out look, i am not letting my family or my hubby's tell us what we should and should not do anymore or say things to try and put us off.
We have thought for over two years on this and had some months where i have been i can not do it, now it's a case i can not wait for my house to be done and i can go, what we mostly get is you wont be able to afford to do the things you do now. My hubby has a very good job and we have a fab income however i would drop most of my income to have quality time with mu husband and my children.
I dont want to be well off and have nice things i want to be able to see my husband come home from work at a good time and go to work in the morning at a good time not first thing in the morning and not get home till 8 or 9 at night just for a nice pay packet. But try telling my family that they are saying we should save save save my thinking is for what!!!!! i would rather have a good few years and then think about saving for later, i have told them i dont care if i have nothing at the end of the week as long as we have done what we wanted to.
My father keeps saying you want to save I'm 31 and like i have said to him no point being the richest in the grave yard, i just wish ppl could congratulate us not make me feel i have committed a horrific crime
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 6:05 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

Originally Posted by the sun is shining
Hi,
Thanks for all of your replies and your positive out look, i am not letting my family or my hubby's tell us what we should and should not do anymore or say things to try and put us off.
We have thought for over two years on this and had some months where i have been i can not do it, now it's a case i can not wait for my house to be done and i can go, what we mostly get is you wont be able to afford to do the things you do now. My hubby has a very good job and we have a fab income however i would drop most of my income to have quality time with mu husband and my children.
I dont want to be well off and have nice things i want to be able to see my husband come home from work at a good time and go to work in the morning at a good time not first thing in the morning and not get home till 8 or 9 at night just for a nice pay packet. But try telling my family that they are saying we should save save save my thinking is for what!!!!! i would rather have a good few years and then think about saving for later, i have told them i dont care if i have nothing at the end of the week as long as we have done what we wanted to.
My father keeps saying you want to save I'm 31 and like i have said to him no point being the richest in the grave yard, i just wish ppl could congratulate us not make me feel i have committed a horrific crime
My father was still saving at 80 for his old age! He did not enjoy what he had and ended up leaving it to me and my brother. I would rather he had had the pleasure but saying that if it hadn´t been for him we wouldn´t be in the position we are today. It is all about compromise, yes you do need to save as everyone needs some money behind them for emergencies but also enjoy.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 6:28 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

It's your life and you should live it as you wish. If your relatives want to come to visit, fine. If not, then that's their loss.
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Old Aug 29th 2006, 7:39 am
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Default Re: Why Do family's Not support you

[QUOTE=as anyone ever have similar experience and how did they deal with them, i honestly dont think we will be having any leaving do, are they being genuinely caring or do you think secretly they would of loved to have the bottle to get up and go!!!!!! QUOTE]

Wow!! I thought I was the only one with a major problem,, well not me my wife,,, Her mother took off like we were moving to the moon, there were huge rows, wherein I was moved from the apple of the eye to the devil incarnate who stole her daughter away to a foreign land,,

The war is still on years after with all the family involved, wills changed, threats made,, and wife and her mum not speaking for over three years now,,

I just cant understand where the problem is,, or indeed what the motivator is to be so isolated from a world where daily travel around the globe is the norm, and mobility of families, labour and children giving them the freedom to make their choices is the norm!!

I am totally

By the whole situ, however the whole thing puts huge strain on our relationship which in fact has become stronger!!
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