Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

With sympathy, Rosemary.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So sorry Rosemary. We're thinking of you at this sad time.

Fred

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

loads of hugs and sympathy Rosemary. Look after yourself.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I feel sure you are getting all the support from your friends and neighbours that you deserve. Sorry to hear this Sad news though.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So sorry, Rosemary.
Rest in peace, Graham.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So sad, so sorry.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I am sorry that I do not feel able to take part in things on here but am grateful for your kind wishes and thank you sincerely for your responses.

Graham was so different when he died from the man that I worshipped and that should help me to deal with my loss because I have been grieving for the loss of the man that he was for the whole time that he has been ill. Everything about him changed except that he was my all important companion who I am missing dreadfully. We talked to each other continuously in our 22 years together so much so that the hours television that we watched each night felt like an intrusion.

Thanks again, I will be back in small doses as and when I can.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I am sure Rosemary that I'm not the only one who totally understands the notion of grieving for someone's former self.
besos

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So sorry to hear about your loss Rosemary. We have been in Germany for a few days and so have not been on BE.
Although we have never met we feel that we have lost a friend.
I hope that all the best wishes on here will in some small way help you to get through this difficult time.

Steve & Jill x

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

My neighbour aged 96 died last night so I had another funeral to get through today, his wife has been telling us that he was dying since 2004. The Catholic funeral is very comforting for the family and people giving their condolences there and then is good.

Graham´s funeral was very, very personal, non religious and I think that he would have approved greatly. It consisted of quiet music being played whilst I was going to read my tribute to him the man but I could not manage it so my friend read out my words and then read out the same thing in Spanish for those who had attended.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

You are very brave to get through another funeral so soon, Rosemary.

I've been to a few non-religious funerals conducted by humanist celebrants now, and I do think they are much more personal and very much concentrating on the person who has died and celebrating their life.

I hope you are doing OK and managing to spoil yourself a little, you need to take some time to look after yourself now after being the one doing the caring.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I'm sure he would have approved too!

When my mother passed away in March we too held a Humanist funeral which we all thought was more relevant to her views, it was so much more personal and relevant to her and her life.
At the time I read a poem out for her, I don't know where I found that inner strength from, but I'd promised her I'd be strong and not cry and I kept that promise.
The poem is a particularly appropriate one for the occasion and for the way she would not have wanted us to mourn her passing....if you would like me to send you a copy Rosemary just let me know, I find it comforting and think you may do too.

Hugs,
Meg. xx

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Yes, please, could you PM it to me. Before you go to the effort is it the one that starts....Do not stand by my grave and weep, if so it is one I used to give to bereaved people, if is not then please do go ahead.

I have been busy in between others things today and gone through my photo albums and started a large collage which shows Graham as he really was during our marriage. Well pleased with the end result, it will go on the first flight of stairs. The bottom hallway has several collages of photos of the family so it will fit in nicely.

When we moved to Spain Graham said that due to the speed of the funerals here we would not expect the family to come over at short notice so whoever went first would only have one mourner, how wrong he was, he did not allow for how the people here have taken us to their hearts. The comfort that I have got from them all is tremendous.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I am being checked up on by different people on different days, they all ask if I am eating sufficiently and look at me skeptically because I have lost weight. I have to explain that Graham did most of the cooking even though he was so ill and he cooked too much and insisted that I eat it all. Since his last admission and especially since he was in intensive care I have been eating normal sized portions and having to walk more due to parking difficulties at the hospital, hence the weight loss.

Lost without him to care for, filling the hours is difficult because I am quite lethargic so doing bits and pieces as I feel like it.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I think feeling exhausted after a massive crisis in your life, not to mention the physical and emotional toll Graham's illness must have taken on you, is a very normal reaction. You force yourself to keep going for the other person's sake, because they need you, and once that need isn't there any more you feel as though all the energy has drained away, I think.

If there are things you like to eat, watch, read, listen to or do that maybe Graham didn't enjoy as much as you do so you compromised for his sake, make a point of doing a little of them now. Because you're worth it, as the advert says!:)

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

This is a strange thing to say but I feel compelled to say it - what a lovely thread. Sad reason, obviously, but so much love and goodwill from strangers, friends, neighbours..... I can't pretend to know how you feel, every bereavement is unique, but I hope something positive has come of posting on BE.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Having lost my mum (95) and my mother in law (85) both in the last month this is very poignant to me.

I feel for you Rosemary.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I'm going to message you the poem Rosemary.
What I did for my mum was to put a border around it and I added her photo, you could do the same or if your not into that kind of work but would like it done just send me his photo and I'll do it for you.

Meg. xx

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Thank you so much, it is a lovely verse and I think that I will do what you said and put a border around it and add a photo too.

I was pleased with myself over the collage, no tears, smiles, remembering the times that the photo´s represented but having a really bad night so reading the poem now was good.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Sending (((((hugs))))) to you Rosemary xx

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Rosemary - Sam Greenfield has asked me to pass on her condolences, and in turn also to pass on those of Sam Parky. Their thoughts are with you and your family.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So sorry to hear about this X

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Thinking of you Rosemary and sorry I have not passed on my condolances before, I have only just found the thread.

Take time to grieve, do whatever it takes.

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Rosemary,

I am so sorry I have just seen this thread. Lots of love and hugs go out to you and if you need any legal help in the future please do not hesitate to contact me. xxx

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Thank you all for your kindness I really do appreciate it and draw comfort from your support. It is very difficult at the moment to think straight. I am doing things as I see they need doing and dealing with any paperwork that arises and will write a thread at some point about how I have experienced the system here because that might help others at a much later date.

Thanks again for your kind thoughts.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

Rosemary, having met Sue and her husband I can tell you that you would be in very good hands if you go to her for advice. I vouch for her and she has many many years of legal experience, she would not let you down and would do the best for you that she can, if you haven't already got any legal advice then please do trust Sue. :thumbup:

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

I agree with you she is very straightforward and honest with her advice and I trust her so regularly recommend her to members. It was Sue who gave me the details of who to use in my local area when we needed our wills completing before Graham´s first operation.

Last week I went to a local notaries home for a quick chat about the bank and their methods of dealing with accounts and he refused to be paid because he likes to help the people of his town and when I refused to leave unless he took something he asked for 10 euros. Yesterday I went to the notary who drew up the wills and spent quite a bit of time there asking questions and there was no charge for the information given.

Rosemary

Re: Where is Rosemary?
 

So pleased to hear that you are getting so much help and assistance Rosemary. I remember when you first moved to live in Spain and chose your village you said something along the lines of it felt right for you and you were welcomed from the beginning. You are lucky, you seem to have many friends around you, you will be ok :thumbup: As Lynne said after Johns passing just take each day as it comes. Big (((hugs))) I wish you all the best xx